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𝐉𝐀𝐍𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐘 𝟓𝐓𝐇, 𝟐𝟎𝟎𝟑
THE DREAMIES' RELATIONSHIPS DIDN'T MAGICALLY GET FIXED AFTER CHRISTMAS.
donghyuck lost the small inch of sympathy he felt for mark after their argument, and mark was too ashamed to even glance at the other for fear of being met with a look full of hatred.
donghyuck was also living with fifteen dollars in his pockets. he was camping out in the palace, never going home. he lived off of food from lee's and the soggy gas station hot dogs. it was pathetic in his eyes, that he'd rather be homeless than live with his father. how weak could he possibly be? he'd need to get a job soon or crawl back to his father's house with his head down in shame as he'd be met his harsh slaps and venomous words.
mark, though always quiet, became nearly mute. he'd always have his head down, half asleep or reading a book. he'd ignore the kids shoving past him and would simply sigh as his locker was continuously vandalized. he wouldn't look at anyone, as if he was scared of everything and his only safe places were the fictional lands of his novels. he pretended to not notice taeyong's constant concerned looks and brushed off his offers of being someone to talk to. mark was better by himself. that way he couldn't anything up more than he already did.
chenle and jisung didn't talk much either. it was easy for them to just pretend it didn't happen. jisung had a specialty of pushing down his feelings, lying so much that even he believes it's the truth. lying was second nature to him. he would lie to get what he wanted, he would lie to make himself appear stronger than other kids, he would lie to himself, just like a bully would. just like the kids who bullied him back then. the abused becomes the abuser, huh? he would smile as he stared at the mess he made of himself.
chenle on the other hand was the master at turning his feelings into weakness. you don't deserve to feel this way, you fucked yourself up on purpose, what the fuck did you expect? he'd repeat these things to himself like a mantra. there was this tiny voice of his past self screaming at him, saying it'd get better soon. in some twisted way, the voice sounded like yiren. but that voice was drowned by his parent's screaming on the news, his brother's sneering faces, his aunts constant disapproving stares, and alcohol. he'd pop a few pills to make everything hazy and then top it off with some whiskey or beer he had stashed away from the club. it was too much for the two boys to face their feelings because that would just end in pain.
renjun, jaemin, and jeno were watching from a distance, unsure of what to do. but jeno was dealing with his own things. exhaustion was finally catching up to him. he would get horrible cramps in his abdomen, and he'd get constant headaches. he had thrown up this morning but he didn't have a temperature, so his father dubbed him as fine to go tot school. jeno looked at himself in the mirror, his skin deathly pale and his eyes dull. he knew his mother saw it too, but would good would it do if she stepped in? it'd be bad for both of them.
