Izuku's Back Hoes

|| 13 - Bitch please. ||

Previously :
It was nice.. He wished the peace would last..
But of course, the peace was about to be interrupted by a silent figure in the shadows.

-----

"So, can you get rid of this kid or not?"

"Are you a maniac? The kid's the son of the #2 hero, what's our pay?"

"Tsk.. Fine, what do you want for it!"

"Finally, let's discuss the Nomus you're creating"

"What. You don't really expect me to trade one for a mere kid?"

"Deal's off then"

"Okay okay. Let's talk this out"

-----

Shigaraki growled, he was annoyed. Were all Americans such hard heads?! jesus, how hard could it be to kill a single kid.

Dabi stared at the light blue haired raisin like he was an idiot "Did he not watch the live?" he leaned to Toga who was drinking some blood.

She shrugged "Guess not, kinda feel bad for whoever Shiggy paid" she said, slightly giggling.

Both of them knew that the plan would fail but they knew it would be a funny sight so none of them acted.

Kurogiri couldn't help but sigh at the three of them, it was almost as if he became a parent. It was exhausting, nonetheless, he just cleaned the cups.

----

You know, I wanted to just get some my damn arizona tea but nooooo, the next thing I knew, I was knocked out by a blunt object and here I am.

Strapped to a metal chair, my arms and legs were both restrained by reinforced leather. I look at the kidnapper, she looked pretty ugly to be honest.

I mean, look at that dry skin, clearly she's been in the sun too long. Jeez, girl be looking like a dried up raisin over here--

As Izuku was casually critiquing the villains in his head, they all felt a bit awkward.

"Is this kid a pervert or something? he keeps staring at me?"

Izuku scrunched his nose "Bitch please- you wish I stared at you- I'd rather pour liquid nitrogen in my eyes than ever look at you that way" he spat, the girl feeling a bit insecure.

"Woah damn, who hurt you?"

Another villain said on his phone.

"Clearly not you guys, ya'll gonna kidnap me but do nothing? what is this? a reality show?"

Izuku was just spouting nonsense since he was bored, the third villain couldn't help but wonder 

"Kid, are you not a bit scared? We did kidnap you?"

"Yeah so? look man, I almost had my throat disintegrated once and his hands felt like sand paper so it was twice as bad. Soooo no, not really"

All three looked at the kid, all thinking that the kid's lost it or he just has no self-awareness. The villains tried to scare and intimidate Izuku, the girl even placed a knife to his neck but he just yawned. 

"Sooo, you guys got some food? uno? monopoly? anything?"

The tallest villain groaned "FOR THE LAST TIME, NO! SHUT UP WHILE WE CONTACT OUR BOSS" he growled, Izuku rolled his eyes "damn who shoved a damn branch up your ass" he said, earning two chuckles from the other villains.

---

Hisashi looked at his phone, a bright red message on his screen "Izuku Midoriya : Lost signal". Hisashi immediately opened his phone and started contacting his colleagues and getting professionals on the case.

His phone was hooked to Izuku and Inko's phone and if something bad were to happen, they would have to shake their phones and close it down which would alert Hisashi's phone of a 'lost signal'.

How did Izuku do this? well, the leather wasn't as tough as he thought. Surprisingly, the Villains were quite a bunch of idiots, none of them noticed Izuku pretending to be tied up while his hands were shaking his phone.

Izuku was bored, honestly, if he wanted to leave, he could have gotten up and dipped but he was a nice person. So he decided to stay until reinforcements came... and because he wanted to annoy the shit out of them first.

He had nothing to do so what's the next way to annoy someone? yes folks, he just started singing rick roll, smash mouth and tiktok songs. The female villain actually joined in while the other two started banging their heads on the wall.

An hour later and Hisashi broke down the wall, two other pro heroes were with him because they suspected it was dangerous since someone as strong as Izuku got kidnapped but- the sight they saw was entertaining- to say the least.

It was Izuku sitting on what looked like a large purple muscled corpse? they saw it on Japan news before.. what was it.. neru.. moni.. monu.. NOMU yeah- that.

Izuku was sitting on a lifeless Nomu, just chilling on his phone while an old man wearing a suit was tied up, on the ceiling. Three villains were all plastered on the walls using tape and all of them except Izuku was knocked out.

Hisashi's mouth pressed into a thin line "Can you at least give me a chance to seem like a cool dad who saves his son?" he pouted, Izuku shrugged "Old Man, I waited for two hours, I gave you a chance" his son retorted.

The other pro heroes were amused and shocked at the sight but of course, work comes first so they arrested the villains and secured the Nomu. Hisashi ruffled Izuku's hair, making it fluffier than it already was "Jeez, you brought your bad luck to America" his dad joked.

Izuku acted offended "Excuse-moi, America's been cursed since Trunald Domp" he rolled his eyes, even though the tangerine was already kicked out his seat. It still had a terrible impact on the government so the pros have been having a hard time.

The father and son duo laughed it off and went home, who knew such a 'dangerous event' would be a fun little workout for Izuku.

..

Shigaraki banged his fists on the desk "I'm gonna kill that damn bug, he's totally been glitching my game.." He mumbled, thinking of a new plan. Shigaraki thought about the new plan for UA so he had to stop his Midoriya hunt for a bit.

"Tch whatever, let's go attack UA next week..."

Dabi and Toga looked at the others before agreeing, they didn't mind but at this point, they were bored since nothing's been happening. Other than the fact that the boss seemed more irrational without his master so luckily, Kurogiri was there.