𝕽𝖊𝖒𝖓𝖆𝖓𝖙𝖘 𝖔𝖋 𝕳𝖔𝖕𝖊

11

reflection
episode: 11

the idea of change was unsettling for toji if he were to sugarcoat it.

sweat building upon her back,
turning on the air conditioning as he sat beside her, her back facing him as he sighs.

he pitied her yet he couldn't bring himself to change, he couldn't grasp the fact that he had to let her go. no words could describe how he loved her. he just simply wasn't ready.

"call me when you need help, alright?" toji said, earning no response as he sighs, standing up and exiting the door.

his eyes scanning for megumi as he spots strands of his hair, walking up to him as he was tucked between some furniture with a toy in his hands as toji chuckled at the sight.

walking to where he was as he picked him up, megumi's arms immediately locking around toji's neck as he nuzzled his face on his shoulder.

"what were you doing there bud?" toji asked as megumi shrugged.

"I heard you two fighting again" he replied as toji's laughter faded away.

"We weren't fighting, she was... just scared. that's all" toji explained as megumi just nodded his head, who couldn't provide a good reply.

"I wanna see her" megumi requested as toji sighs.

"look bud, she wants to be alone right now" he excused as megumi only nodded at his father's response.

y/n could only cry, clasping a handful of he hair as she pulled it violently, sobs writing from her chest as her scalp became sore. pressing the lids of her eyes as tears continue to fall, clenching her chest with her hand to stop the pain that fled her heart.

she couldn't cope with it properly, she couldn't even stand up straight. her legs weakened before she could do anything to herself as she sat up. being led astray as she wrapped her arms around her frame hoping it would provide at least a tad bit of comfort. she couldn't breathe properly as she focused on trying to calm herself down.

the waft that seeped from the air conditioning hitting her face as she closed her eyes, she could feel the tear stains smudge her cheeks. looking at her arms as she itched where her scars resided, it was pitiful, to say the least.

no one wanted her, or that's what they made her believe.

she had been doing nothing but crying lately, she tried to endure it but she kept it in for too long. mindlessly looking for affection but they all end up the same, the realization that she truly was alone.

maybe dying would be the best solution, no one should be affected by it. it seems like death was the only outcome to end her sorrows. they were all pointless, to begin with, to live only to exceed the expectations of other people, living her life for them.

hot tears ran down her face, unable to stop as the realization hits her. she had finally accepted it, no more lies to mask up to her desperation for love. no one yearned for her. clawing the palm of her hand as she silently lets out a cry, still anxious about the idea of death yet she wasn't able to withstand the hardships of life any longer.

y/n had begun her cycle of isolation yet again, eating small portions of food, forgetting basic hygiene. after the night of her reflections, living did not seem appealing to her anymore, the relationship she had built with megumi has gradually begun to crumble, refusing to see him and toji.

toji never entered her room but still gave her food, even if almost all of them came back untouched or just little jabs bit off them, after their last conversation. he finally agreed to do some modification, he could be immediate occasionally but what's the harm in trying?

observing the harassment y/n received from their neighbors, he had been inviting their homes unexpectedly to 'talk'.

not knowing his wife's current condition, all of his best efforts to change were all in vain as the only thing y/n wished for was him. he was a fool to believe that doing the bare minimum would get him somewhere.