Everything You Never Had

Brief visit

You turn around, and there she is.

"Cate."
.....

Her hair has gotten a little longer, blonde waves framing her radiant face, and she stands with the easy grace of a dancer between poses. You haven't seen her since that day, has managed, until now, to avoid her, to avoid this. And you want to back away, to put as much distance between you as possible. But your legs refuse to move. You feel a strong pull towards her and a strong push away, the result being stuck firmly in this spot.

She smiles at you, bright and warm. You remember being in love with that smile, back when it felt like a victory everytime you earned a glimpse. Now she simply hands it to you.

"I've missed you." She says. "I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you, too." You say, because it is the truth. Weeks of a life together, replaced by a life apart, and there will always be an empty space in the shape of her.

"I lost your ring." You say. "I'm sorry."

"Oh god." She touches your arm. "Did someone steal it?"

"No, no." You shake your head. "I just... lost it."

Cate sways into you. "Oh, don't worry about it."

Up close, she smells like roses. It took a week for that scent to fade from your sheets, another for it to vanish from the sofa cushions, and the shower towels. She leans into you, and it would be so easy to lean back, to give in to the touch, give in to her.

"What are you doing here?" You ask, maybe a bit more direct than you'd like to come across.

"Well..." She pauses for a moment, before continuing. "...I come here now and then for some fine bread."

You can't help but mirror the careful smile that is on her face. You're drawn to her eyes, and she seems drawn to yours, for you share a moment of lingering eye contact. Memories surge back as you stare into those blue eyes. Her face hasn't changed one bit. Glowing, radiant, ageless, as you remembered it to be. She looks at you with kind eyes, and a warm expression.

"How have you been?" She asks after a moment, her smile alluring. "How was your journey around the world?"

"Oh it was wondrous." You act calm, but your heart pulls into pieces.

"I can only imagine." She smiles. "I saw some of your pictures."

"Really?" You ask, as it takes you by surprise.

"Yes, really." A cute smile forms on her face. "And it looked just beautiful."

"Yeah... it really was." You respond, still reminiscent of your course around the globe.

"Noah went with you, right? How's he doing?" She continues to ask casually.

"He did. And he's fine. Same old Noah." You answer lightly. "He moved in to my apartment."

"He did?"

"Yes. Well, not with me. I have since moved to another place." You explain.

"Have you?" She asks again, the tone of her voice stays surprised, and the look on her face shows interest. "I liked your place."

And you're both left gaping there, for she's the first one to mention something from your heavenly weeks together, one year ago.

"I did too," You respond after a moment of friction. "I just needed something new." You add, and it causes a subtle shift in Cate's expression.

You want to ask how she's been doing, out of politeness, rather than genuine interest. The time you've spend trying to forget her, limitless. You just want to turn around, and count this in on the endless list for moments you want to be forgotten forever. So you don't want to hear a thing about her, but then also you do, more than anything. But before you get to say or ask anything, she's the first one to speak again.