Peter Parker and the Avengers oneshot (On A Little Break)

that one time

This is short and kind of funny. Sam's an asshole in this aswell.

Running into a hydra base with seven bullets, three guns, a bow with four arrows, a limited charge iron suit and the bare amount of web fluid should have sounded like a stupid decision in the first place but Cap said they didnt have time to get ready.

So in all their mightiness, the  rag tag team of tired heroes ran into the packed Hydra base.

To make a long story short they lost. By a lot. Tony's suit shut down and he just flopped on the ground for a bit, Natasha, Bucky and Sam ran out of guns. Yes guns not bullets, Clint got three good shots in but on his fourth arrow he hit Peter who just then ran out of webbing so he crashed into a tree that Wanda was hiding in so she fell out and concussed herself. So obviously Steve ran over to help her but he tripped on Tony and knocked Natasha over who was throwing her secret knives at the hydra agents, her knife went astray and straight into Sam's suit which malfunctioned and went on fire. He threw his metal backpack part if his suit away which happened to explode causing Buckys trousers to catch aflame. The only good thing that happen was when Sam threw his suit it landed in the oil Tony's suit was spilling and caused an explosion right beside the hydra base. It distracted the soldiers enough for the Avengers to retreat back to the Quinjet.

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The severely injured Avengers were at the back of the jet where Tony attempted to fix their wounds. With Cho on holidays and Bruce on a date with Thor, there was no one with any medical knowledge.

"Anyone know where we can go?" Steve asked as he changed out of his suit.

"My aunts a nurse."

Peter never wanted Aunt May to meet the Avengers. You see... she is... protective over Peter. When she found out Flash was bullying Peter she went to the school and they had a parent conference with Eugene's parents aswell. Once again, long story short, May was in jail for one night and Mr. Thompson was in the hospital.l

Protective.

So meeting the Avengers, with some who undermines him. Not a good idea. But Wanda was bleeding from her head and he had 3 bullets and an arrow in his stomach which he wanted out.

"Underoos are you sure? Literally everyone on this plane is going to try and get with her."

He forgot about the debacle. The flirting. Yuck. One of the reasons mr. Thompson ended up in the hospital. Peter can't count the times he has had to explain to men that his aunt was off limits. Not happening. When his Aunt was ready she would tell him. But if mr. Morris the English teacher asked how his aunt was one more times Peter would get punchy.

He sighed.

"RULES FOR THE AVENGERS COMING TO MY APARTMENT" he shouted so everyone could hear him.

"Rule number one: if you say anything bad about our apartment, I'll punch you"

"Rule number two: if you flirt with my Aunt I will not hesitate to defenestrate you."

A look of confusion for that one but a look of horrors for those who knew.

"And lastly, Rule number three: dont mention my Uncle, my parents, or anything that will upset my aunt May"

Some of the team awed but he just pointed towards the window of the Quinjet and they stopped.

"Dont forget rule number four Pete. Never eat his aunts cooking" Tony chuckled

"I'll cut your nails until they are just uncomfortable to work with and you will never be able to open things." The tired, bleeding teen threatened. Tony flinched and backed away a bit.

A few minutes later and they landed on the top of Peter's apartment complex.

"Someone needs to carry Wanda and me. The elevator doesnt work. I'm only two floors down though." He slightly slurred.

So Bucky carried Peter while Steve carried Wanda.

"Peter this building is disgusting how do you even live in it?" Sam spoke in a sickened voice.

"Srike one Sm" he slurred his words not really making sense. The skin was starting to heal over the bullets so they would have to cut them out. God he hated when that happened.

They made it to the parker apartment and after a minute if knocking Aunt May answered.

"Oh my god. Bring them in."

Not only did Bucky almost drop Peter when he saw May, he decided to lean against the door frame causing the bullets in Peter to shift.

"FUCKS SAKE BUCKY" he yelled in pain.

"Oh yeah shoot"

When Wanda's head had been wrapped, May moved onto Peter.

"You must be Peter's older sister. My name's Sam" he smiled at her but she continued to work on preparing him for the bullet extraction.

"Strike two fucker"

"Language"

"Shut the fuck up you capless acorn"

After a lot of screaming, all the weapons had been removed from the teen.

"Ok mr. Barnes can I see your burns?"

"Oh please, call me James." He sent her a wink which she rolled her eyes to.

*cough* "yeah they're on my legand stomach"

He took of his shirt and rolled up his burt trousers as much as he could.

"Like what you see?" He smirked. Sick of this shit Peter leaned up as much as he could and put of of the ice cubes directly onto one of the burns on his leg.

"My aunt." His voice lowered an octave. Scary shit anyways.

"So. Is your husband still around?"

Nope that was it for both Parkers.

May punched Steve in the nose and Peter threw Bucky and Sam out the window.

"Defenestration"

He shrugged and promptly collapsed on the ground.

"Get out all of you. Natasha can stay." And the assassin  blushed.

"Oh for gods sake."

I dont even know anymore. I'm going back to school in 3 days and I have around a month of work to catch up on. Good times. Bye guys love yas

"Thank god"