Can't be bothered focusing all my thoughts right now but as of late I've had quite a few awkward moments and for whatever reason, I've now decided to share them with all of you. And yes, I'm stealing the format for this from some of the other users (who it'll probably be way easy to identify) but blah whatever. Anyways, in no particular order or timing, here are a few awkward moments that have happened to me... enjoy:
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#1 Wrong greeting, wrong time
Le moi: *sitting on stairs texting friend* (10 mins before Maghrib)
Random neighbor passing by: "hey how's it going?"
Le moi: "Good morning."
Neighbor: ...
Le moi: >.<
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#2 No thanks
Le moi: *exits store and passes el Senor trying to raise funds for mariachi band*
El Senor: *holds bucket up* "Donations?"
Le moi: *holds hands up in refusal as if being offered something* "Oh, no thank you."
El Senor and random woman standing nearby: O_o?
Le moi: >.<
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#3 For me? You shouldn't have.
Le moi: *walking to store to buy ingredients for dinner after hotlink plan fell through*
Le WIDE freakn boulevard: *lights all out and traffic being controlled by le cops*
La policewoman: *notices me and smiles, starts raising hand*
Le moi: Oh no you don't have to stop everyone just for-
La policewoman: *stops all traffic in every direction so I can pass*
Le moi: 0_0 *appreciative nod then quick scurry across humongous freakn boulevard as all cars are stopped and everyone is eying me, probably thinking mean thoughts lol*
Le turban: *looks epic and blows in the wind behind me*
Le moi: *slows down to enjoy le epicness, notices other pedestrian was waiting to go but officer stopped traffic only for me and resumed it after I crossed....ignores angry glare from other pedestrian*
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#4 I don't work here....and I probably won't ever now...
Le moi: *applying for job and doing in-store skills assessment test behind company computer right near register*
Le customer: *gets in line and waits to catch my attention.* "Excuse I-"
Le moi: *panics* "Oh um I don't work here....um...that guy can help you." *nods toward potential employer and earns glare from him and customer he's helping.
Le customer: "Oh. Excuse me sir, I'm I just applied online and I'm here to-"
Le potential employer: "You can go right after that man." *glares.*
Le moi: *nervous smile*
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#5 Okay this one isn't really a particular incident, as it's happened a few times before and I can't really point out anything specific that would be fitting as a story or incident. It's more a collective and general occurrence.
Basically, as many of you know I like to wear my thobes and turbans everywhere I go. School, Masjid, hospital, amusement park, beach, library, store, family house, friend's house, etc. etc. But once upon a time I got in one little fight and my mom got scared and basically I moved out to live with my aunty in a town called Bel-Air....oops, that wasn't me :P no but basically my mom is really big on thinking every single individual is eyeing me like an enemy and a target for the way I dress and broadcasting my Islam. So, when I first started looking for work, she commanded me (yes commanded, not suggested or asked, she ordered me) to not stand out (something I’m used to doing even before I could speak). She made me agree to wear stupid formal-wear when job hunting in person (yet another reason I prefer doing it online: no one knows ur in a turban online :P).
So, what's awkward about that? Well, tbh, if I step outside without my thobe and turban or something on my head, I feel naked. It's awkward and I hate it and hope no one sees me lol. What's worse? Well, when I'm in my thobe and turban, I get stared at from time to time. People either stare and then pretend they weren't looking, or sometimes they'll smile and compliment me, or sometimes come and ask me if I'm Muslim and I get a chance to spread some dawah. AAAAAAAND it some cases it's saved me a lot of trouble. For example, growing up in le rough neighborhoods and being an adolescent male, the assumption was generally made that you were part of some gang or another. So conflict and violence were easy to run into. Except when you're clearly not some idiot low-life thug moron, and instead people think of you as "that religious guy." Then, you get a tiny bit of respect and safety. I even got the "sup," nod of respect from one of the most notorious gangs in my hometown. Why? cause I was in my thobe and turban and one of them made the others clear the way for me (they were blocking the car) and told me he respects me for representing. B-)
Anyways I just got off topic. Oops. Anyways, the point I was making was that I'm used to being in my thobe and turban and I'm used to people staring, either in curiosity or being baffled that "real live Muslim is roaming the streets casually" lol. Nonetheless, I'm used to the stares and am not bothered in the least by them. But what happens when I'm not in my thobe and turban? Aside from feeling naked as previously stated, I also get a little bit of unpleasant self-consciousness. Why? Because I STILL FREAKN GET STARES!
If it was normal me in my thobe and turban then yeah, totally expected and reasonable. But when I'm in "normal" clothes and pretty much blending in, why the heck am I still getting stares? Did I do something wrong? Is there something on my shirt? Do I look funny? WHAT IS WRONG??!!
The day I went for the skills assessment mentioned above, I got so many looks and I just had to pull out my phone and pretend to text so I wouldn't feel as awkward as I walked. Even people in their cars took a longer glance at me than they did any other people out there. And in the store, same thing. So much for blending in I guess...
Anyways, there were other awkward moments but I just forgot them and cba trying to recall rn, so make do with these few and I'll update soon I guess. And as always, thank you for reading another tale and adventure in my life :)
Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh,
-Desert Son
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Desert Son: Tales of Le_Muslim_MAN
Non-FictionIt was a cold, winter night out in the great desert. The winds were howling, the crescent moon rested high in the sky. Out in the dark and desolate desert, a new life had been born into the world. Resting near the light of a fire, a woman sat, holdi...
