Body Image

Leaving

Chapter 14

"So I can leave to get them in a week?!" I asked Fredric, the main boss man.

"Yes. You still have to do the designs from there though." He said through the phone. I looked in the mirror while packing my bags.

"Of course! Thank you so much!" I said poking at my stomach.

"Your very welcome. Now about your website idea. If you run it, we will sponsor and support it. You would have two jobs. Are you sure about that?" He asked. I nodded thinking he could see me... Cause I'm cool.

"Hello?" He asked after silence.

"Oh! Indeed, I do. I have to go! Thank you again!" I said hanging up. I looked in the at myself in the mirror.

Fat thighs, stomachs not flat, face is just.. Eew. I'm too tall, my fingers are like boney grandma hands. My hair is so rat-

"Funny. We never see ourself in person. Just a reflection, and sometimes that reflection lies to us." Louis said coming in on the bus from rehearsals.

"Was I talking out loud?" I asked still looking at myself.

"No. I had a feeling you were sad so I took five to see what was up." He said walking beside me. I looked at him then at me in the mirror.

He took out something... An envelope, to me. I opened it and it was a fan letter.

"Dear Alyssa, It's so amazing to know that someone else is going through the exact same thing. Excuse me, not amazing; but inspiring. I have had anorexia and bulimia since I was about 12 or 13. I was severely bullied and abused and I truly believed that I was the fattest cow on the planet. I cut, I made myself throw up, I starved myself to the point of passing out." I took a breath and held back tears. I closed my eyes for a second the continued reading.

"I went through so much crap because I believed that my body would never be good enough. I compared it to people who are incredibly beautiful and amazing. Perfect. It is so nice to know that even people that I see as flawless still have insecurities and are truly not perfect." I stopped reading because I was crying so hard. Louis took the letter from me and continued reading with watery eyes.

"You have really inspired me and I hope that you don't harm yourself too much like I did, don't go down the road I took, please. Last year I was hospitalized for malnutrition, exhaustion, and dehydration. I hope you never have to go through that! I am so impressed that you had the guts to come out and tell everyone about your illness. You are my role model and you inspire me so much. Stay strong babe <3 I KNOW you can over come this. Much love, Delaney." He took a deep breath and hugged me. I was doing that wearing thing when you can't catch your breath. He rocked me back and forth.

The bus was quiet till Zayn walked in.

"Louis we need yo- What happened?" He asked standing looking at me in Louis arms sobbing. Louis handed him the note and Zayn started reading.

"Ar-are fans go-o through t-his?" He said looking from me then to the letter over and over again. I nodded.

"Most do. That's why the fandom is so big. They need something to believe in and you boys were there for u-them. I guess that's what they grabbed onto. You make them feel non-worthless." I said still crying. The boys just looked at me. I think it's sinking in that they mean the WORLD to millions of girls.

"Sewhendayeleve?" Louis said running his words together.

"Oh? I leave in two days." I said slowing down on my tests and breathing slowly.

"So, your really leaving?" Louis asked. I stared at him.

"Im not leaving forever stupid. I'm gonna be in the same country as mom." I said smacking his head and standing up. Zayn told Louis they needed him back. They both left and I called Tori.

- Two Days Latter -

"Promise you will call when to land?" Louis said standing at the plane door. (He got me a private jet to make sure I don't run away again.)

"Indeed. I have to go!" I said hugging him. He's acting like I'm gonna die on the plane!

"Ok, bye!" He said as I walked on. I keep walking forward and waved.

- After Picking Up Girls -

"WE ARE REALLY GOING TO ENGLAND!!!" Emma yelled running around.

"So if I push you off, where would you land?" I asked looking at her.

"Australia with the penguins." She awnsered confidently. I looked at Victoria.

"HAHAHAHAHAH!!!" We busted out laughing. Emma looked at us.

"What! Australia is that place up north with the penguins!" She said defending herself.

"Do you mean Antarctica?" Victoria asked laughing. Emma sat there a minute.

"SHUT UP!" She yelled throwing a pillow at us. We laughed more.

"Where do kangaroos live Emma?" I asked hoping she would know.

"A-Afica?" She awnsered. I just looked at her. What? How? Ugh..

"No, it's Australia." I said. She hid her face.

"Haha it's Okay Emma. We love you anyway!" Victoria said walking over to her and hugging her.

"Girls. Welcome to London." Miles, our pilot, said. I looked out the window and smiled.

"Good to be home." I said to myself as we got our bags.

(A/N: HAPPY NEW YEAR! I just want to say thanks to the fan who wrote that letter for me. I can't remember your user name but thank you so much.)