Body Image

Beautiful

I've been home a while and I'm still figuring out if I want to go or not. Everyone's pushing me too, especially Louis.

"You know if you go, we can go places with out you worried. You'll be happy." He said sitting next to me on the couch. I leaned my head back and rubbed my forehead.

"I know but what if I, for say, recover and get out of rehab then I relapse again. Also, what if I inspire girls to tell there parents but they can't afford it, or worse I make them feel like they have to be stuck thin to go to rehab." I said groaning. He looked at me puzzled

"Isn't that what anorexia and stuff is? Like your really really skinny?" He said. I shook my head getting angered.

"Just because you're not 'skinny' doesn't mean you don't have a eating disorder. They come in every size and each one is serious." I said standing up. He rolled his eyes.

"Not when it's just started. They can come out anytime then." He laughed. I balled my fist and took a deep breath. How could he joke like this?!

"EATING DISORDERS ARE SERIOUS! NO MATTER IF YOU'RE 175 POUNDS OR 75 POUNDS. YOU CAN'T JUST 'JUMP OUT'. ITS ADDICTING!" I yelled leaning over him. His face was in shock.

'Oh.' was all he mumbled. I backed away and went to my room.

He want me to go but doesn't understand what it's like! I just need to get away. Maybe that is my only choice. That or suicide... Which has been sounding good for the past six, seven months....

Yes, rehab it is. I am gonna kick butt.

--

I am headed to the airport now! I'm so nervous!

"Please be safe." Mom said hugging me. I laughed and hugged her back.

"I will. I have to go! I'm gonna miss my flight!" I said hopping in the limo with The Boys, their girlfriends, Ed, Emma and Victoria.

My flight doesn't leave for another 4 hours but they all wanted to take me out, before I left to wish me luck.

"Cheers to Alyssa!" Perrie shouted raising her champaign glass as I got in. Everyone followed her as I laughed.

"Where are we going?" I asked looking around for a seat. There was one between Zayn and Liam.

"A surprise!!" Louis cheered. I really dislike surprises. The reason is because one time, Emma got me a 'surprise' birthday gift and it ended up being crocs.

"Haha!" Emma laughed remembering I hate surprises. Victoria high fived Louis for planing it as a surprises.

"I hate you all." I mumbled. Harry laughed and threw something at me.

A sock.

"What the heck styles?!" I said throwing it back. Niall laughed but the sock ended up hitting him. Soon we were all throwing a sock.

The car stopped as Danielle was fixing to put some grapes in the sock.

"We're here." The driver called. I pushed my way out first to see we were at the mall. I looked at everyone piling out.

"This is the surprise?" I asked. Louis shook his head and pulled me into the mall. It was empty.

"You have the mall to your self for two hours." Harry said. I looked at Louis and hugged him.

"Also! You to buy anything you want for your room and such. I'm paying. Mum put in 500 in for Forever 21, so you can get something nice." Louis said I looked him.

"I can't except that. You are already paying for some of my admission." I said slapping his shoulder.

"Well to bad!" Louis said running towards the Toys R Us.

I rolled my eyes and started walking around. All the boys were either eating or playing some game in the arcade. The girls stuck with me.

We all walked into a electronic store.

"Holy sh-" I said as Victoria covered my mouth.

I saw a pink MacBook and if came with a matching pink iPod and pink charging cords. I looked at the price... Nope.

"Alyssa if you want it get it. I'll buy it for you." Eleanor said digging in her purse. I shook my head.

"No. No. Don't do that." I said. I pulled out my phone and dialed my banking account.

"Fine. I'm paying half." She said pulling a check out

"I'm gonna add to that too!" Danielle said handing some cash to me, I gave it back to her. Perrie soon wrote a check and Emma and Victoria were looking for some money.

"I'm not taking that!" I said walking out of the store. They stayed back.

I walked into a furniture store and saw some bed spreads. I got a black and pink cover and some light pink pattered sheets. I got a pink fan and pink some stool things that open up.

The girls showed up with nothing in hand. Good.

"I like those!" Emma said sitting on the stool as I checked out.

Some guy said he would take them to the front if the building. I nodded and we walked to Forever 21. Eak!

I rumbled though the racks as the girls laughed. When I shop, I do it big. The girls pulled a ton of outfits for me to try on.

In the end, I ended up getting at least 20 tops an 15 jeans and shorts. Most of it was in my goal size so I could look forward to gaining weight. I'm really not though.

We left and went all over the mall getting posters, books, some iTunes cards for later, and I also bought me a 'Wreck This Journal'.

Louis called over the speakers for us as we all headed out.

Beautiful here I come.

(A/N: The End! Sorry it's ended so fast.)