All I Want For Christmas Is...Not You

Day Seven-Eleven;

Wes's POV

"Why would you be scared of me?" Her voice was small, a little weak. I raised a hand, slightly brushing my finger tips across the smooth skin of her cheek. I rested my palm lightly against it and searched her eyes for a moment. "I'm afraid of falling in love with you." I replied softly. I heard a small gasp escape her lips. She wasn't expecting that. But it's true. I'm so scared. Absolutely terrified. I don't want my feelings to rely on someone else. Someone who doesn't have any interest in me anyway. I don't care about the bet. I never cared about this stupid bet, and I don't care who wins. But I know I'll win, because I can tell she's starting to come around.

She's quiet. I'm almost afraid I've said too much. I'm not in love with her, not yet anyway. But I can feel it. I can feel the need to want to see her when I'm not around her, hear her voice, her laugh, see her smile. I want to be the one to make her happy. I want to be the one to hold her when she cries, or be the cause of her laughing so hard she starts crying. But I can't tell her that, because I've already said too much. "You don't have to say anything." I assured her.

"Don't." Was all she said.

I looked at her with a simple raise of the eyebrow and she knew I was questioning that one word. "Don't fall in love with me." She said in the same weak voice.

"I can't promise that."

She sighed and looked away from me, causing my hand to drop from her cheek. "Wes, please...stop."

I sat up and looked over at her. "Just don't hate me."

She sat up also and leaned against the headboard of the bed. "I don't hate you. Just...stop."

"You're mad." I stated.

She looked at me. "Wes, I'm not mad at you. I just don't know how to handle...this..."

I lifted the covers from my body and got out of bed. I walked to her desk and grabbed my sweatshirt. "Where are you going?" she rushed to my side as I pulled the sweatshirt over my head.

I placed my snapback on before replying. "Away."

I finally looked at her, and her eyes were sad. Almost pleading. "What? Why? No-"

"It's the only way."

She looked up at me, completely confused. "What are you talking about? Was it because of what I said?" She gripped my wrists but I jerked away from her.

I nodded and paused. "Yeah..."

"You don't have to leave, Wes-"

"I can't be around you anymore without falling for you even more. The bet's off."

I slipped my shoes on and grabbed my bag from the floor. I rushed down the stairs without stopping to the voice of Anna screaming my name. I can't be around someone I can't fall in love with. Someone who doesn't want me. I'll just make it easier.

The next day I woke up and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. I grabbed my phone, and I had a lot of missed calls from Anna, and a lot of messages asking to talk. I deleted all of them and headed for a shower. Once I got out, I put on some swimming trunks to go surfing. I walked by Keaton's door and knocked. "Keaton, want to skip school?" I called out from the other side of the door.

The door soon opened and a sleepy Keaton stepped out. "Where have you been?" He asked and blinked a few times.

I waved my hand. "It doesn't matter. Let's go."

It was almost 7:30 by the time Keaton came down stairs. We left the house, and walked across the street towards the beach. Once we reached the beach, I got into my wet suit and immediately hit the water. This was the way I cleared my mind of any negative energy...Now I sound like Drew. I just need to be away from Anna right now. I didn't like this bet idea in the first place. I liked the idea of getting to spend time with her, but not like this. Now I hate myself for even mentioning it.

After about thirty minutes, I met Keaton on the shore. "I know you haven't been at Kenny's, bro." Keaton said as he turned to face me from his spot in the sand.

I plopped down beside him with a sigh. "I've been with Anna." I muttered, sinking my toes in the dry sand.

"I know. What are you guys doing tonight?" He asked.

I shook my head. "Nothing. There's no bet anymore."

Keaton looked surprised, but not surprised at all. "So? You don't need a silly bet for you guys to hang out."

"It's the only reason she's been hanging out with me, Keaton." Talking about Anna was actually making me sad.

Keaton paused. "I read your journal." He said quickly and hunkered back.

I looked at him like he was crazy, and started laughing. "I don't care. It's not really private. It's more of...memories. Things I don't want to forget, you know?"

Keaton snorted. "It's called a journal, Wes."

I shrugged. "I don't like to think of it as that. It's a memory book."

Keaton laughed beside me. "Okay, whatever. It's still a journal though."

There was a longer pause before Keaton spoke again. "I know you care about her."

I nodded. "That I do. But I don't know what to do about it."

"Tell her."

"I already did. That's what got me here."

I felt Keaton's hand grip my shoulder. "It'll be okay, Wes. She'll come around. Don't worry."

"Nah, man. It's over." The words stung my throat.

And the word "Don't." echoed through my brain and it made me angry instead of sad. I feel childish.

It was the day before my birthday and I wanted to curl into a ball and never leave my room. My friends decided to throw me a huge party on the beach tomorrow night, and I didn't even want to make an appearance. I shouldn't feel like this. I'm the one who won't talk to Anna. I'm the one who told her I can't see her anymore because I might fall in love with her. I felt stupid.

It was going on midnight and I just lay in my dark room and looked up at the ceiling. I traced the pattern of the scar on my chest. I never realized how long is actually was. My phone vibrated on my bedside table, and I lazily grabbed it and unlocked it. "Please come outside." -Anna. I let out an annoyed sigh and got out of bed. I put on my sweatshirt and walked downstairs quietly, and out the front door. Anna stood at the end of the sidewalk, and once she saw me she stepped onto the porch. "What's up?" I asked.

She was fumbling with her hands, so I knew she was nervous. "Uh, nothing. Happy Birthday." She smiled nervously.

It was thoughtful, but that's not why she's here. "Thanks. Why are you really here?" I leaned against the panel beside the front door. "I know you're mad at me, and I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, or hurt you at all. I just...I don't know. I don't want you to love me when I...don't love you."

I felt hollow inside. Like someone just came in with a pumpkin carver. "So you come here to hurt me all over again?"

She placed a hand to her forehead. "No, that's not what I meant. I don't want to hurt you. That's what I'm saying. But I ended up hurting you anyway. And I'm sorry, Wes. I didn't mean to."

"It wasn't an accident, Anna. Of course you meant to."

She stepped forward and grabbed my wrists. "Wes, no. I didn't want to hurt you. I swear. I'm sorry. I really don't know what else you want me to say."

I shook her off of me and moved away. "Just go." I said as I broke eye contact.

"Wes, don't do this-"

"Just go!" I repeated.

I watched her eyes fill with tears. "You don't mean it." she choked.

Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. She wiped a tear away before walking off and getting into the car. She drove off, and I didn't even feel guilty.

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It's short! I'm sorry. It's kind of a filler I guess? I don't know, haha.

But the next chapter will be longer, no worries. And don't hate me yet!

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