hatred | miniminter

35

a few weeks have passed since simon and i were outed to everyone on the internet or what they assume is that we're in a 'relationship' and although we are, we've still chosen to ignore the situation and act like nothing happened. it benefits ourselves and hopefully allows everyone to forget about it - which they have. the chat on my streams have been slowly whittling down to normal conversation, asking me questions that are not just revolved around simon and i. my tagged photos on instagram are no longer completely full of that one screenshot and neither are simon's and my twitter mention's are not plastered with his name.

slumping backwards into my chair, my eyes flicker through the chat, just having a normal conversation with my stream and i lift my leg up onto the chair, resting my arm on it. "when is your next upload?" i echo the question that slides into the chat, "hmm," i ponder, "some point early next week." i nod my head slowly, looking at the chat. "i'm so excited to decorate my flat for christmas," i hum, "i just love christmas in general! but this year seems to have gone so qu -"

"stop being pathetic and just tell us the truth about you and simon or are you begging for attention." the automated voice blares through my speakers, i glare at the $100 donation alongside it.

"you're joking, right?" i scoff, shaking my head, "please don't donate money to me to dig into my personal life." i sigh leaning forwards in my chair, my eyes unable to keep up the chat which just appears to be spamming simon's name and begging for answers, apart from the few fans i notice who actually tell people to leave it and it is none of their business.

'simon can do better than you anyways'

i roll my eyes, throwing my weight back into the chair as it rolls back, "it's a shame, i was having a good stream too, enjoying myself," i huff, "anyway's, moving on." i pull the chair forwards, it rolling along the floor to pull my body closer to the desk, but my chat still plastered with his name. my mood already falls at the thought of people believing simon deserves better than me, so not being able to move away from the topic hurts more.

'please just tell us what that photo was about'
'miniminter!'
'are u guys together'

"erm," i play with the ends of my hair, "i think i'm going to end the stream here." a weak smile slowly forms on my lips, my body feeling heavy, "thanks, for erm, watching, i'll see you later." i wave, swiftly ending the stream. i let out a frustrated groan, resting both elbows on the desk and throwing my head into my hands. my phone vibrates against the table beneath me, peering through my fingertips to glance down at the notification.

from simon
you okay?

taking a deep breath in, i slowly moves my arms away from my face and lift up my phone. my thumbs wave over the keyboard for a few seconds, trying to think of a reply.

to simon
not really

from simon
i'm coming round :)

i let out a sigh of relief, slowly lifting my feet from my set up, dragging my feet along the floor towards my living room. i dive straight onto the sofa, curling my body into a ball in the corner as i throw a soft blanket over my drained body. scrolling through my phone, disappointment overwhelms me, thinking i could have a positive stream today without the thought of my personal life being drilled into. i almost feel foolish for thinking i could ever avoid the questions about simon and i from the fans, knowing i will never be able to escape it until we prove we are together.

hearing a soft knock on the door, i pull my body up from the sofa, trudging towards the door to answer it. "hi." i smile softly, feeling his body brush against mine as he walks in, resting a bag on the kitchen counter.