"I missed this," I whispered to Harry.
I'm currently lying on his chest as he leaned against the entryway out to the balcony of the astronomy tower. We haven't done this since last year. And I missed it dearly.
""I missed this too. I missed you like this," Harry returned. "Right where you are."
"I love being here right where I am," I sighed softly, memorizing the calm, patterned thump of his heart in his chest.
"Sirius is up there," Harry said. "Bet he's up there with my parents."
"And mine," I added with a smile. "They've almost got the old Order of the Phoenix up there, huh?"
"Yeah. By now," Harry answered.
"I miss him..." I said quietly. "Cedric."
"Yeah?"
"Mm," I nodded slightly. "Sometimes I wake up still half expecting a sunflower on my nightstand. Or a little love note written in cursive taped to my door."
"He was quite the gentleman wasn't he?"
"Yeah," I answered. I heard a slight sigh leave his chest. So I leaned up and kissed his neck. "I have you now. And you're all I've ever wanted."
"Hazel," Harry blushed. "You're going to turn me red forever if you're not careful."
"I think it's cute," I snickered. "You're cute when you blush."
"You're cute always. I can't compete with you."
"Stop! See you're doing it to me now!" I whined.
Harry only laughed.
"You know I love you."
"I do know. I love you too, Harry."
It was quiet for a while. Before Harry had another deep question. Seems like at night is when he's finally able to open up.
"Do you ever wonder... what your parents would be saying to you if they hadn't died?"
"Like... right now?" Harry nodded. "Um... not really no. I just assume they'd be giving me advice. Not necessarily specifically what they'd be saying."
"I could picture my dad giving me girl advice. I've already messed up so many times with you and I'm... bound to do it again. Some lady advice from my father would be perfect right about now."
"Messing up is part of learning. Not every relationship is perfect," I reminded him.
"That. Right there. That kind of advice," Harry grinned. "Things like that."
"You assumed you'd be messing up again. This is me saying we probably both will. Because that's part of this, Harry. That's part of loving someone."
"Having fights and messing up?"
"Learning trust and exercising loyalty."
Harry nodded. "Since when did you become the book of life advice?"
"Since I was forced to grow up at a young age," I scoffed. "Life hit me hard so young so I've... coped. Part of coping for me was making stupid decisions out of panic and I've... learned from them now."
"That makes sense."
He eventually yawned and cuddled me closer to him. He nuzzled his nose into my neck and sighed tiredly.
"Today was so exhausting."
"It was for both of us. Looks like the transition back to good old Hogwarts isn't going to be as rewarding as we first thought."
"I'm really sorry Malfoy hurt you."
"I'm sorry you got that bloody nose."
We both realized then just how important our alone time together is. Because both of us felt so stress free in that moment. Even after everything that happened today.
I know I personally felt like I could touch the sky. I could touch the sky just lying on his chest right there.
"Hazel you're not... you're not doing anything with..." It sounded like he was trying to piece a sentence together but was struggling to find the words. "Do I have to feel even the slightest bit threatened by Fred?"
"No," I laughed a little at his question. "Harry, I've told you a million times and I'll say it as many times as you need to hear it. I love you. Completely. Entirely. You have all of me forever and always. Freddie's seriously just my best friend. We're just really close."
"Okay," His tension loosened and he relaxed again. "I love you too."
"Should I feel threatened by Ginny?"
"No," Harry scoffed quickly. "No, Hazel, you're the only woman I want. I'm serious. I didn't even fully understand what love was until you showed me. Now I know that all of the feelings I have for you are love. Because you taught me. Ginny is... too young for me. I don't personally like younger women. You and I- we're perfect. It's me and you forever, Hazel. Truly."
"Okay," I myself relaxed. "Thanks, Harry."
"Thank you," He returned and lifted my chin to kiss me. His eyes were droopy and it looked like he was having a hard time keeping them open.
"We should get you to bed."
"As should you," He helped me to my feet after he stood up. "You've got a concussion. You should be asleep by now already really."
"I don't regret not sleeping. I needed this. I needed you. Just you."
"I felt the same way, love. Now. Let's go get some sleep. Proper sleep."
Thankfully when I entered the dormitory I shared with the girls, both of them were already heavily sleeping. So I got to sleep without any distractions.
Well. Other than my heart soaring miles in my chest.
I really needed that moment with Harry. That confirmation that he's entirely mine. That I don't have to worry about Ginny.
I needed him for a while. Just us.
Now I can get to sleep with a smile on my face and a happy heart.
YOU ARE READING
tainted transparency || a harry potter story
Fanfiction** this is a sequel! ** as the year that seemed to not have an end, finally ended, everyone seemed to have rather boring breaks between school years at Hogwarts. but all of the danger that happened last year couldn't have prepared either of them fo...
