MANAL

55: Manal

For the longest time, I had been contemplating on whether to tell Ummi about my first semester's results, or not. For a fact, I knew she was going to get mad at me, but like Na'eem advised, it would be better to tell her, before she would find out one way or the other. I knew the chances of her finding out was extremely slim, but I still felt the need to come clean.

I got out of my bed and headed for Ummi's bedroom. Abi had left for work earlier, and Imran, for school. 

"Assalamualaikum." I knocked on her door, as gently as possible.

"Waalaykum Salam." Came her voice.

I took in a deep breath and exhaled, before pushing open the door and walking in.

Ummi was seated in the middle of her bed, with her laptop on her laps. By the sound emitting from it, I could tell she was playing a game before I walked in.

She put the laptop aside—beside her on the bed and looked in my direction.

For the umpteenth time, I sighed.

"Is there something you want?"

I swallowed and fiddled with my fingers. Ummi looked so stern with her medicated glasses on. She reminded me of her, back then, when I was still a kid. I used to be so afraid to speak to her, because she was always so quick to reprimand and punish me for every little mistake.

"I want to tell you something." I started. It took a lot of courage for me to be able to get the words out, without stuttering.

"Why are you standing?" She dilated her brows. "Sit."

I shook my head. "I'm okay, standing."

"Okay... What do you want to tell me?"

"Ummi, it's about my first semester's  result..."

"What about it?" Nonchalance dripped off Ummi's voice.

Here goes nothing...

"I didn't do too well.."

"Yes, you didn't. I expected you to be a first class student, because while in school, I was very brilliant. I finished with a perfect grades. So did your father. I expected more from you."

I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes and to tell ummi it doesn't always work that way, but for my own sanity, I kept mum.

"But there's still room for improvement. I trust you're going to make up for it real soon."

I hummed. "Actually..." I trailed off. I really didn't have enough courage to speak up anymore, but at the same time, I knew I had to speak up, since I had already taken the initiative. "I lied to you about my results."

There...I finally said it.

"Lied about your results?" She sat up straight; the confusion evident in both her tone and facial expression. "How?"

"I...I...didn't do so well, Ummi. I lied to you about it, because I didn't want you or abi to be disappointed in me. I really wanted to make you proud, but—"

"What are you even saying?" Ummi's brows tightened. "You lied about what exactly?"

"I have carryovers..."

"You have carryovers?" Ummi questioned.

"Yes, Ummi." I affirmed. "
I'm sorry. I really don't know how it happened."

"You had carryovers, yet you lied to me—to us that you didn't have any?"

"I didn't know how I was supposed to tell you, so I..."