chapter one

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thank you for choosing my book!
your support means the absolute world to me.
lots of love, TJ :)

before you read:
this book is for mature audiences only.
contains drug and alcohol use.
contains mentions of abuse.
lowercase writing is intentional (just like writing that way).

ALSO: YES, this fic starts off a certain way and YOU WILL DISLIKE LOUIS (AND HARRY AT TIMES) but the whole point is their personal growth and i promise they do become better people! :)

enjoy!

"wake the fuck up."

urgh. sunlight.

it's funny how the smell of alcohol last night was intoxicating, yet this morning it adds to the nausea. every time... and he never fucking learns.

"no." louis simply says, bringing the duvet further over his body, hiding his head away. louis just wants to sleep forever. maybe if he sleeps long enough, his dreams will merge into reality and he can do whatever the fuck he wants.

"bro, you're making me late."

the draining of zayn's voice makes louis' brain feel like it's swelling, and now his dehydration is too obvious to ignore. idiot.

"late for what?" he groans, finally opening his eyes, which he regrets instantly. louis squints at the boy. zayn walks over to his bedside table, picking up the multiple empty bottles and throwing them in the bin. he sighs, looking over to his ash tray, which are filled with cigarettes, and he tips that in too. he is fully dressed with his backpack on, hair swept perfectly as he sarcastically grins at louis, teeth wide.

"late for fucking college mate. what else?" shit, school exists. he forgot.

"fuck." louis jumps out of bed, running over to his chest of drawers.

"aw, mate, put it away!" zayn hides his eyes, turning around and groaning.

louis is sort of... naked. what? when he sleeps he wants to be comfortable... and the alcohol makes his clothes feel itchy.

"you're so dramatic." louis huffs, pulling out the first clothes he can find and throwing them on. he walks over to the window, looking out and across the street to the houses opposite. he huffs, because the fit girl he likes to shag sometimes, (lacey, he thinks she's called) has her blinds closed. the sun is out, and he shuts the curtains again because his eyes are still stinging.

"here." zayn takes his bag off and unzips it, taking out his water bottle and handing it to louis. he takes it, taking the largest gulps he can, because god... his throat feels so dry.

"thanks."

"c'mon." zayn grabs him and pulls him out the room, dragging him by the arm. 

"zayn, what the fuck? i need a piss."

"should've thought about that before you drank three bottles of whatever that strong shit is." he takes louis downstairs, who shouts goodbye to his mum, not knowing where she is or what she's doing. he doesn't get a call back. zayn pulls him outside, pushing him into the car roughly, pulling the seat belt over and shutting the door.

"i'm not a fucking child."

zayn gets in the drivers seat, shutting the door behind him.

"you're right, children don't find the need to swear in every sentence they say."

"fucking idiot." louis mumbles.

"love you too." zayn smiles sarcastically, pulling out of the drive, on route to a place louis likes to call 'hell-hole.' he opens the glove compartment, everything he needs in there ready. this sort of happens regularly, and as much as louis doesn't give a fuck, zayn says walking around with someone who smells like a wet dog is embarrassing.

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