Shadows and Stars: A Darker Love ✔

Chapter Three

The South Tavern is a somewhat small but vibrant bar that sits just outside of Trafalgar Square. The interior is rustic and cosy, and the owners have made a splendid effort of decorating the wooden beams that line the walls with various Christmas decor. Feel-good, upbeat music thumps in the background, and the uplifting smell of red wine and cinnamon that carries through the establishment is almost mouthwatering.

"Over here Mia." Hailey takes my wrist in her hand, leading me through a flurry of patrons towards the back of the building. "There's a table for us at the back—I reserved one."

As I follow Hailey through to the back, I cast my eyes about the many visitors who stand around the wooden bar and matching tables. I don't know what, or who, I'm expecting to see, but something inside of me is urging me to look out for...well, him.

Grayson. I'm looking for Grayson.

I sigh, because in the space of just under thirty minutes I've gone from being excited and ready to move on, to suddenly pining over Grayson and the large void that he's left in my life. How do I now feel so deflated, and, in all honesty, ready to retreat back to my bed?

     "Oh hey Mia!" A friendly, familiar voice pulls me from my low thoughts, and when I look round I see Will's calm face beaming back at me. The soft of his light eyes through his glasses and the shine of his blonde hair suddenly lifts my now dampened spirits, and instinctively I throw my arms around him.

"Hey Will!" I chirp, trying to project my voice over the loud of the music. "How have you been?"

"Good!" He replies, smiling brilliantly, though arching an eyebrow at me. "And you?"

It occurs to me that Will and I haven't seen each other since the night he drove both Hailey and I to Jack's Cellar, and after the outcome of that—and my excessive sobbing—I'm sure he was traumatised for a week or two.

I laugh weakly, disguising the pain that, just moments ago, crept back into my heart. "I'm fine."

Will nods his head, and returns to the table where Holly and a couple of others are sat. I don't recognise them, but I feel too lifeless to introduce myself right now.

     "Mia!" Holly bellows, holding a small shot glass up to me. This reminds me of my first night in London; the first night my whole story with Grayson started. "Here—have a tequila!"

I smile, weakly lifting my arm and retrieving the tiny glass from Holly's grasp. I don't feel like drinking now, despite my earlier willingness to enjoy myself tonight, but when I see everyone else joining in, I feel as if I have no choice.

The alcohol burns when it falls down my throat, and I push my lips together as I feel the liquid move to my stomach. Man, I really do hate doing shots.

     "Yes Mia!" Hailey screeches, grabbing me by the arm and dragging me towards the bar. "We'll take four passion fruit martinis please!" A young barman acknowledges Hailey's order, but he's nothing like the young barman I met—my young barman. My eyes fall flat, and I find myself imagining Grayson behind the bar—serving me like he was about to on my first night at Plasma. If only.

But I remember it like it was yesterday; his beaming, mesmerising brown eyes; his dark yet perfect hair that, even when scruffy, fell perfectly; his strong and sculpted jawline lined with his even more mesmerising dark facial hair; and of course the too hot tight-fitting crisp black shirt that, amongst everything else, rendered me speechless.

Yeah—I'd give anything to be looking at him behind this bar right now.

     "Mia?" Hailey calls, staring at me like I'm some sort of animal in a zoo.

     "Y—yeah?" I ask, quickly moving my gaze to her brilliant green eyes, and trying my hardest to mask the fact that I'm still thinking about him.

     "What's wrong?" She murmurs as the barman places four cocktails in front of us. She hands him a twenty pound note in return but doesn't let her eyes leave mine. "I thought you were looking forward to this night out?"

     "Oh...I am!" I choke, quickly taking a cocktail in each hand as Hailey does the same. The feeling of the cold liquid and the smooth of the glass is actually quite nice against my now clammy hands. "I really am," I reassure her half-heartedly.

Hailey sighs as we head back through the crowds towards our table, her eyes judging me through her long, black eyelashes. "You're still thinking about him aren't you?" Once again, she can see straight through me.

I look down to the cocktails in my hand, my lips pressing into a line. "Yes," I admit, my eyes hooded as we approach the table filled with Hailey's friends.

I wanted so much to forget about Grayson, to start a new chapter in my life, but his presence in my life clearly had a too bigger impact for me to shove away right now. God, I wish I could though. This pain is weakening me more and more with each passing moment, and once again I find myself involuntarily looking about the bar, even though deep down I know there's no way Grayson would come here.

"Mia," Hailey coos, bringing her head closer to my ear as to not allow the others within earshot. "Once you get a few drinks down you, I promise you'll feel a little better. Just try and have some fun, okay?"

I'm sure Hailey is probably growing fed up of my dwelling and constant low moods, and I know I need to shake myself out of it, but to be perfectly honest, I'm finding it hard to fill the Grayson shaped hole in my heart. I thought getting myself out the house would help, and although it did a little at first, I now feel like I did before—like I've rewound the clock a day or two.

Ugh, Mia.

Placing the cocktail glasses onto the table, I look to the bunch of friendly and excitable faces laughing between one another, clinking their drinks and chattering happily. I smile, because this is how I want to be too; giddy and care-free. And I will be.

Almost out of nowhere, a flow of electricity surges through me, making me take a sudden huge gulp of my passion fruit martini. The sweet taste is refreshing, and quite frankly pleasing after I've lived on mostly water and tea for the past few weeks.

I gasp when I finish my swig, wiping my lips with the back of my hands as Hailey, Will and Holly laugh at my eagerness. But I don't care, right now, in this very second, I'm happy, and I want to cling on to that as hard as I can before the misery returns to snatch it away. "I'm gonna need more of these," I say, holding my nearly empty cocktail glass up and laughing.

Hailey's eyes twinkle, and once the first round is polished off, I head back to the bar for another.