𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐎𝐏𝐇𝐎𝐁𝐈𝐀 | 𝐃.𝐖.𝐓.

022

Hello everyone! so this chapter is gonna have lots of backstory for Nicole, explaining why she's afraid  of falling in love. Which brings me to this: 

TW: Toxic Relationships, Physical and Verbal abuse, Manipulation, Gaslighting. 

Later in the chapter, Nicole also has a panic attack. 

Please take care of yourselves!! 

Falling in love is risky. You either fall and someone helps you up, or you fall and weep over your wounds. 

However, when Nicole fell for Ivan, it was a lot of both. 

She didn't know she was falling into a never ending cycle of degradation and manipulation. All Ivan ever did was gaslight Nicole and make her feel like shit through words. 

'You will never be anything.'

'It's your fault i hit you.'

'Your friends don't like you!' 

'You deserve it.'

The sad part is, she believed him. Nicole distanced herself from everybody, even Alex. 

Nicole was so thankful for Alex. He was the one who helped her realize what Ivan was doing. Alex pulled Nicole out of the relationship. He helped get her back up on her feet. 

Alex flew all the way to Missouri to prevent his bestfriend from getting hurt even more. 

Nicole opened up to him about everything. About the hitting and all the fighting. She showed Alex her bruises and scars. He felt terrible. 

He held her while she cried. Alex remembers the girl falling asleep in his arms, followed by a promise that he made to her and God. 

"I won't let anyone hurt you ever again."

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May 2nd, 2020

Nicole 🦕 | @nicolegranger
I guess I'm supporting the Gators next year. 🙄

↪ Dream | @dream 
YOU GOT IN??!!11!!!
↪Nicole 🦕 | @nicolegranger
I GOT IN!!!!!!!! 

↪ Quackity | @quackity
YOOOOO. MOM SAYS CONGRATS!
↪Nicole 🦕 | @nicolegranger
TELL MADRE DUCK THANK YOU AND I MISS HER VERY MUCH. 

↪ Karl :) | @KarlJacobs_
YO. That's amazing Nicole, congrats!!
↪Nicole 🦕 | @nicolegranger
Thank you Karl : )

Nicole was beaming with excitement. She had found a way to go to college without taking the risk of catching the Corona Virus. 

Her phone started ringing and she looked down, smiling and answering. 

The FaceTime call connected and she was greeted by Clay's wavy blonde hair. It was wet and slightly darker. 

"I'm so proud of you Nicole." He said, smiling. 

She was stunned at the words. "Nobody has said that to me since high school." She said sheepishly. 

"That's so dumb. You need to hear it. You have gone through so much. You are so fucking strong and you deserve everything in the world. God, I wish I could-" That's all Nicole could process before the words got fuzzy. 

'You deserve it.' 

It was like she couldn't speak. Her breath was unsteady and her fingers began to shake wildly. 

"-Nicole!" Clay shouted, getting the girls attention. 

"Clay, I- I got to go. I'll uh- call you back later." She stuttered, her voice breaking. 

She quickly hung up and dialed someone that could help her. 

"Hello?" 

She found herself unable to form words again, and hastily pressed the facetime button. 

"Oh I see." Alex quickly sat up and started doing breathing exercises with the girl. 

It took 5 minutes for Nicole to control her breathing. 

"What happened?" Alex asked. 

"I don't know." She said taking a deep breath, "One second I was fine, the next second I can't fucking breathe." 

"Nicole, your panic attacks are getting really bad recently. I'm starting to worry." He said. 

"They were never this bad when Maya was around." Nicole said, looking at the floor sadly. 

"I got it!" He yelled. "You need a roommate!" 

She looked at her phone with a shocked expression. "Alex, I can't just get a fucking roommate in the middle of a pandemic." 

"I'll call you right back." Alex said, before hanging up. 

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A/N: BACKSTORY! POG!!! i have so many ideas for this book. 

also, hey Sarah ... you left me on opened on Instagram 👁👅👁