Bound in Love

Chapter 21

Philadelphia - December 16, 1991

Before a show, the atmosphere was usually exciting. There was this exhilaration, this thrill in all of them that was usually contagious to those surrounding them. There was this buzz of electricity that was passed on from person to person. Chris was usually the quietest though. Not that he didn't feel the adrenaline, but he had his own special way to cool his emotions down and then explode on stage. That day though, it seemed the other around. The environment was one of tension and they seemed to forget they were going to play in an hour. Chris was walking around in circles with his arms crossed around his chest. There was none of his introspection nor quietness. He was nervous. Kim, Matt, and Ben were sitting on an old couch in complete silence. There was no talking, nothing. The only thing reminding Ellie she was at the backstage of a show was the faint sound of the crowd roaring and clapping while waiting for the first band to go on stage: Soundgarden.

She looked at him once more while he circled and circled around the room like a caged wild animal and she decided to intervene there.

"Chris..." Ellie called him for she as getting dizzy from seeing him walking around.

"What?" He asked her in his quiet tone, shaking his wild locks away from his face and breathing heavily.

"Sit here with me for a bit." Ellie tapped on the vacant seat by her side and smiled at him trying to calm him down.

Instead of smiling back at her, he puffed. "Why is she taking so long?" Chris asked looking at the door.

"She is probably taking care of something." Matt told him. "Come on... you need to calm down."

"I don't want to calm the fuck down." Chris hissed and Matt raised his hands in the air.

"I am on your side." Matt told him quietly. "We are all on your side, remember that."

"I'm sorry." Chris then said and rubbed both his hands on his face and a grunt was heard. "Fucking Susan!" He cursed right after. "Where the fuck is she?"

"Sit here." Ellie insisted catching his hand. "Please, babe..." She pleaded looking up at him.

"Ok." He agreed, sitting next to her.

Immediately, he grabbed her hand in his and brought it to rest on his leg. He was already in the clothes he had chosen to take on stage that night though. Chris was wearing black baggy 90 Originals shorts with white socks rolled down his ankles with a pair of black trainers and a flannel in tones of grey opened and a black tank top under it, though Ellie knew he would lose both after the first song. If everything went fine, he would just take it off. If he was heated up like he was at that moment, there was the chance that he would just rip it apart.

"So, can we at least talk about what we can do?" Ben suggested while looking at him. "Ever since New York that you didn't say a word about this, but we can see how stressed you are."

"There is nothing to talk about." Chris affirmed. "I am not accepting this deal, period." Then, he shook his head and frowned. "It's my daughter for Christ's sake. It's not just something..."

Kim puffed and looked away from him. Matt bounced his legs up and down and looked at the floor and Ben kept looking at Chris. Tension kept building up. The situation was uncomfortable to all of them.

"We get that." Kim finally said. "We understand you don't want to be away during May for your baby is due around that month. Ok..." He nodded. "None of us is going to say we want to tour during that time, but before? After?" Kim questioned him. "Can you stop to think a little bit more about this. Find a good solution for all of us."