What Was Lost // (Harry Styles FanFic)

Chapter 51

Lilly's POV

    You know that sigh that you do when you're just genuinely happy? That sigh that just means that you're safe, everything is okay, and you're content with your life? Well Sutter brought that sigh out of me, and when he left, he took that feeling with him. That totally blissed out and whole feeling left with him when he walked out of the door with that moving truck.

    But something about Cross brought that feeling back. I don't know what it was. Whether it was his charm, his humor, or the way he made me forget about all the bad shit that had overwhelmed my life; he made me feel like everything wasn't falling apart anymore, even though I definitely still was. 

    But it was nothing like that happy sigh that Sutter gave me every night when I went to bed knowing he'd be climbing into my window soon. But it was just enough to blur the lines. And blurred lines scared the fuck out of me.

      Nothing was concrete anymore, nothing was set in stone like I always thought they were. Except gravestones. And that was depressing just saying it, so I did my best to steer clear of that mental image, hating the feeling that washed over me every time I had to see my little girls name carved into that gray stone.

     Rolling my wheel chair up to Cross's house was enough to remind me that nothing in this life was guaranteed. Things could change in a second, no matter what you had your heart set on. I just got swimming back into my life, and now i'm not even sure if there's a chance that will continue on, the doctors said I would need a good but of physical therapy after being allowed to walk again.

     I was taking things one day at a time.

     I knocked tentatively on his back door, thankful he wasn't in a wheel chair like me at least.

     Finally, after what felt like forever, I saw his figure appear through the glass. His handsome face was marred with scrapes everywhere, including a line of stitches over his eyebrow. His arm was in a sling, with a cast that went all the way from his hand to his shoulder. He had a knee brace on his leg, and a distinct limp that I know he was trying to play off.

    "Hey." He muttered when he opened the door.

    "Hey." I said back lamely. "Can we talk?"

     Instead of answering me, he just nodded his head solemnly, moving outside to grab the handles of my wheelchair and steer me inside.

     He moved me in front of his couch in the sitting area, and without asking he lifted me by my armpits out of my chair and onto the couch.

     I cringed a little as I moved and got myself comfortable, still getting used to the confines on my body.

    "You okay?" He asked, noticing the discomfort on my face.

    "Yeah, just a little stiff."

    "How did you get here?" He asks, and his sense of protectiveness over me always did make me feel soft towards him.

     "Nadine drove me."

    He just nodded his head, and the awkward silence settled in around us. Something that was very scarce between us. We always had something to say, something to laugh about. And if not that, we were usually in between some sheets together, saying and doing other things that kept us occupied.

     "Cross.." I started, but the drop and shake of his head stopped me.

      "You don't have to say it Lil, I know already."

     "I was going to say thank you, for what you did for me. Protecting me the way you did, staying with me. I'm so thankful you were there with me. I'm just sorry you got hurt." I don't say it, but i'm also talking about his fight with Sutter before the tornado came. He wouldn't be in any of this mess if it wasn't for me.