Dating Mr. CEO

41

ELROY

"I know it's late Carter, but there's a reason why you're my- no- I want it today- not tomorrow- Carter, it's not that late- what? You leave twenty minutes away from Sparks- I need it emailed- Carter will you just do as you're told- Cart- hello? Hello?"

I hissed in anger, knowing fully well he wasn't going to go back to Sparks by this hour. But then again, his house wasn't so far from Sparks. It was just 11PM anyway, it wasn't so late, was it?

The harsh cold wind cut through my jacket sweater, to my white T-shirt.

I was currently in the balcony, standing at the edge of the railing, savoring the cold after-rain breeze and drinking in the beautiful view the city provided.

Taking a sip of my strawberry flavored wine, I slipped my phone into the pocket of my sweat pants. I'd deal with Carter later, but for now, I had to think.

I gulped, remembering the events of this evening.

You know what? I was supposed to be relieved, relieved at the fact that I had finally gotten an answer to a question that made me question myself for years.

I had an asthma attack, not too long ago, it was supposed to be a good thing, a very good thing to my sanity, to my unanswered questions, to my heavy heart... It was supposed to make me feel less guilty. But it brought back the memories of that night. The continuous nightmare. 

I just realized that it was all useless, everything.

Fine, what if I finally confirmed that I indeed had an asthma attack that night? What was the prove going to do? Would it bring them back? Would it make me feel less guilty? No... It wouldn't.

No matter what happened, no matter what anyone says or feels, it wouldn't wipe away the fact that it was because of me. I brought them outside, they helped the woman and her child, and then it all went blank. I lost everything.

It was just in a matter of seconds, one minute we were fine, and the next- everything got ruined.

I had tried everything, everything to erase that lady's presence, tried to erase the memory of us stopping to help, of my Dad taking that damn route in the first freaking place. I had tried to think and place the idea that we were only three in the car, I had tried to admit it and convince myself but I couldn't- his eyes- those baby blue innocent eyes wouldn't stop taunting me.

I hadn't seen those eyes for years, I'd managed to evade the nightmares, the reminder. I had managed to convince myself that it was just three of us in the car.

But it all came rushing back today, all the memories, the event, the moment.

His taunting eyes.

Our Family lawyer had stopped the case from hitting the news, he had managed to tell the press that it was just my Mom and Dad in the vehicle that night, he had managed to take the woman and her son out of the picture. But he couldn't erase it from my head.

It was there, like a shadow.

I managed to take another sip of my wine, hoping I was going to feel a little calm. Another cold wind blew, making me shiver, but I didn't mind. I could stay here till it was dawn.

That night was never going to stop haunting me, was it? It was never going to stop making me hate myself. I couldn't change the past. If I could, I would have just ignored Cade's plea.

Elroy, there's no point thinking about a past you can't change.

A small voice whispered in my head, it was something Yvonne used to say to me. And she was right. Why think about it? It was never going to change.