DMs // hemmings [editing]

venticinque.

[unedited]  

27th February

// Luke POV //

Funerals fucking suck.

Everybody's sad, everybody's grieving. So many of these people didn't even know Ashton. There are a few radio presenters that I recognise, and of course our crew and families, but that's about it when it comes to people who had experienced his presense, who got to hear that fucking haunting laugh, who got to enjoy the enigma that was Ashton Fletcher Irwin.

Obviously, Anne wanted to hold the funeral back in Sydney, so Ashton could be buried in his native land. It was better this way. In some sense, I guess it was a partial form of closure. For what, I'm not sure yet.

I haven't cried since that day just under two weeks ago. Jen hasn't left my side, and for that, I am grateful. It's nice to have someone there, someone who understands what it's like to lose someone you love.

Ashton was, well still is, like a brother to me. I certainly felt like he was, the way he talked about his passions, about the world around us, and the way he was always so grateful for where we were as a band. I mean, it's not like Calum, Michael and I weren't grateful, because we were, we really fucking were.

I still have no clue as to how we could ever go on without Ashton.

I think that 'banding' will be at the back of our minds now for a while.

2nd March

I can't stay in Australia. Everything I see, touch or hear here reminds me of him. 

Jen and I are getting the first flight to England tomorrow morning, and then we're going to travel together through the US while she's on tour.

I hope it'll help me take my mind off of Ashton.

20th March

America is genuinely so great. 

I've successfully managed to avoid places that I went with the band when we toured here with One Direction, and I've had such an amazing time with Jen. 

The tour is over in a month, and then we're going to be moving in together in New York.

Apparently, since she was a child, she'd dreamed of moving to the US.

Watching her dreams come true makes me feel something I can't comprehend. It's like a mix of pride, love, and depression, all rolled into one emotion-filled ball.

21st April

Michael, Calum and I finally had a talk about the band, and we decided that we should 'officially' break up, as in announce it online and everything. We're all going to record a small video to post online, thanking the fans and dedicating everything to Ashton. Any money earned from our debut album will go towards a charity that is strongly involved with the research into a cure for the illness that Ashton had. 

Even though he couldn't be saved, maybe someday, someone else can be.

*****

So I kind of wanted to give this story a solid ending, as the previous chapter was pretty immediate and I wanted to give something more. I'll just call the other book something different :---)

Love you guys, thank you for supporting this fic ♥