DMs // hemmings [editing]

diciotto.

[unedited]  

8th December;

//Luke//

"Where the fuck is Ashton?" I stress, pacing the dressing room. We're about to play the Jingle Bell Ball at the O2 Arena in London, and he's nowhere to be seen. None of us have seen him since we landed in London, actually.

"Why would I know?" Calum spits back at me, and I can't help but sigh.

I fucking knew this would happen.

Ever since we left London in September, Jennifer following us to LA a few days later to sign contracts and all that stuff, Ashton's been acting... odd.

He doesn't hang around with us much anymore. He's always out exploring places on his own, meeting fans on his own. He always turns up for events and signings late, and occasionally doesn't even bother to turn up to award ceremonies, or when we're doing livestreams. It's getting fucking ridiculous.

I unlock my phone, going straight to my contacts and ring Ashton for what feels like the thirtieth time.

"Hello?" His voice answers, and I almost sigh in relief, then remember why I'm calling.

"Where the fuck are you?!" I bellow down the phone.

"I'm in an Uber on my way now. I'm so sorry, I got held up." He tells us, and I just tell him to hurry up before pressing the red icon and throwing the phone onto the sofa.

"Is he on his way?" Michael asks frustrated, and I just nod before leaving the room.

I know exactly where I need to go.

Knocking on the door, I patiently wait for it to open, and when it does, I couldn't be happier.

"Luke." She says, it's all she needs to say. We both walk into her dressing room and I instantly wrap my arms around her waist tightly, lifting her off the ground slight, which earns a squeal in response.

"I missed you so fucking much." I whisper in her ear, and she smiles at me. My favourite smile.

"I missed you too Luke." She replies, and I eagerly press my lips to hers. I'd been craving them since the moment we said goodbye a month ago, and now she's here, in my arms again.

"Ashton isn't here yet." I inform her, pressing my lips to her neck.

"Again?" She enquires, and I can only nod. I can't say anything about it, I don't know how. All I know is that I want my best friend back.

Suddenly, there's a knock on the door, and I jump back.

"Miss August, it's time." The british voice says from the other side of the door, and Jen takes a deep breath.

"Good luck baby, I'll be watching from the side of the stage." I tell her, wrapping her into a quick hug and pecking her lips.

"Thanks, Mr Hemmings." She giggles, imitating the woman.

***

It astounds me how good she is.

No, good is an understatement.

She takes my fucking breath away.

She's so beautiful, talented and... mine.

A tap on my shoulder pulls me out of my line of thoughts, and I'm kind of grateful. Any longer and I could've ended up with a slightly awkward situation. I turn my head to find Michael's wary face.

"He's here."

Pushing past him, I make my way to our dressing room, Mikey following closely behind.

"Ashton, what the... Ashton?" I say, and instantly rush over to him. He's bent over the bin, puking his guts out. I look up at Calum and he looks just as confused as I feel, and so does Michael.

I gently rub his back, suddenly unable to be angry at him. When he finishes heaving, he turns over so he's sat normally with his legs stretched out, and he looks awful.

"Ashton?" Michael says, and he looks at the three of us, a guilty look in his eyes.

"I'm so fucking sorry guys, for everything. I've been acting so shit lately, and I don't have any excuses. I'm just..." He's cut off by Calum, who also looks sorry.

"It's cool man, something's obviously been up. Just, uh, tell us when you're ready, okay?"

"Thanks Cal." He says, getting to his feet, albeit shakily.

There's a knock at the door, and I recognise it as the same knock that I heard when I was in Jennifer's room.

"Mr Hemmings, Mr Hood, Mr Irwin, Mr-" I cut her off by opening the door.

"Yeah yeah we get it." I chuckle, and the four of us make our way to the stage.

***

"You were so good!" Jen giggles as I spin her around.

"Thank you baby." I grin before pressing my lips to hers.

"Hey, Luke, Jen?" Ashton says next to us, and we both turn our heads to look at him.

"Yeah?" I say.

"Can you guys come into the dressing room? I need to tell you all something."

"Sure. Is everything okay?" Jen asks, a concerned look on her face.

"Uh, yeah." He says, and walks away. Jen and I look at each other and shrug before following him.

When we walk into the room, we find Michael and Calum already in there, looking just as confused as us. Jen and I sit on the couch and Ashton stands in front of all four of us.

"Guys, before I tell you this, I just want to apologise to you guys for how I've been acting over the past few months. I've been such an asshole, and for that, I'm sorry." He sighs, and I smile up to him.

"It's fine Ash, don't worry." I assure him, but he just shakes his head.

"I will worry though. But anyway, this isn't what I want to tell you. Guys I'm..." He tries to tell us but his eyes fill with tears, and a few roll down his cheeks.

Jen's the first person to do something. She gets up from the sofa and asks if he's okay. He shakes his head and she wraps her arms around him. At first he doesn't respond, but he soon does, his arms slowly making their way around her as he starts to sob. Calum stands up next, Wrapping his arms around the two of them, then Michael does the same. Finally, I stand up and copy their actions, and Ashton's sobs start to subside.

"Guys, I'm sick." He says, and we don't respond at first.

"Ash, what do you mean?" Michael says, and Ashton sighs sadly.

"I mean I'm really sick." He repeats, and we all realise what he means.

He's dying.

"Uh, what is it?" Jen enquires.

"I have a brain tumour."

That's all I hear. They keep talking but I don't hear a word.

My best friend has a brain tumour.

///

#sorrynotsorry

Not many chapters of this left :( :( :(