DMs // hemmings [editing]

quattordici.

[unedited]  

30th August (cont.);

"Jen, about the other day..." Ashton starts, as he closes the door to his bedroom behind us.

"I'm so sorry you had to see me like that. I want to promise you that I'm never like that, I've never done cocaine before and I don't ever plan to do it again, or any other drug. You have my word." He promises, looking into my eyes, never looking away.

"Thank you Ash, ever since that night, things haven't been the same. I've missed talking to this crazy idiot who gets me, and I thought he wasn't who he said he was..." I mumble, and he smiles sincerely at me.

"I missed you too Jen." He pulled me against his chest and I sigh heavily, wrapping my arms around him tightly. "I'm so sorry." He whispers in my ear, and I smile, before pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"It's okay, don't worry about it anymore Ash." I grin, and he grins back. His eyes flicker down to my lips, and his breathing becomes shallow.

"Ash, what are you-" His lips crushing against mine cut me off, and I just stand there in shock. Ash pulls away, unwinding his arms from around me, his eyes wide.

"Jen, I'm so sorry..." He says, and covers his mouth with hand. I shake my head, as if I'm shaking off the memory of Ashton's lips on mine. It felt good, really good. Too good.

"I, um, let's just pretend that never happened." I awkwardly chuckle. "Hey, can I play you something?" I point to his cajón, and he nods.

I sit on top of the box, and smile at Ashton before counting down the beat in my head, and soon I'm tapping away at the panel, using different parts of my hand on it to create different sounds. I start singing along to it and on the second chorus, Ashton joins in too. Ashton's bedroom door opens too, but I ignore it, too focused on what I'm playing to see who came to the door.

                Why can't you fight

                Until you can't fight anymore

                Stop swallowing your words

                And walk straight through the door

                You're so young

                You're so scared

                You're acting like you were prepared

                Quit waiting for Friday

                And just live it up today

I finish the rhythm of the song, and breathe heavily, and finally looking up, to find that Luke, Calum and Michael had joined the two of us in the room, and they're all smiling at me.

"Jen, that was so good." Michael enthuses, and I grin and chuckle at them all.

"Yeah, seriously, you should record that and release it as your first song..." Luke suggests. I smile and shrug, unsure of how to reply. We all walk back into the main room, and I sit next to Luke, curling up on the sofa and resting my head on his shoulder. He has his arm around me. Michael puts a movie on the TV, but I don't really pay attention. I'm still thinking about what he said, and about what happened between Ashton and I. I mean, he kissed me. Should I tell Luke? No, it'll only piss him off. I think he's still a little upset with him after the cocaine incident, so it'll only make things worse.

I look up at Ashton, and find that he's looking at me. Although, when I see that he's looking, I realise that he must've glazed over. I close my eyes but I can feel his absent gaze burning into my skin.

"Luke, I think I'm gonna go to bed." I mumble into his ear, and placing a kiss on his cheek. I bid goodnight to the others, and Ashton comes out of his daze to tell me goodnight. I sigh once I'm in my room, my back against the door, and slide down to the floor.

I get up and out of my clothes, pull on my pyjamas and climb into bed. I'm 99% sure that any alcohol I consumed has now lost it's effects as I no longer feel even slightly tipsy.

***

I wake up, and it's only 4am. I don't hear any noise coming from outside the door, and assume that the boys have gone to bed. I open the door and step quietly into the kitchen area, and grab a bottle of water. I go to head back to my room, but jump when I find Ashton on one of the sofas, looking at something on his phone.

"Ashton, oh my god, you scared me." I breathe heavily, and pick up the bottle as I dropped it when I saw Ashton.

"Oh, hi Jen." He smiles warmly.

"What are you still doing up?" I ask, and he just chuckles.

"Can't sleep, and I should ask you the same thing." I walk over to the sofa he's sat on and sit next to him, fiddling with the label on the bottle.

"Same here, except I was asleep but I keep waking up." I frown. He gives me a concerned look.

"You okay, Jen? I mean, I know everything must feel like it's moving so fast."

"It does. It was nice having a few days to get used to being in London before we rerecorded the song today, though, so it's not as bad as I thought it would be." I smile.

"It's been really nice having you here." He reaches out and places his hand over mine on the water bottle. I'm not sure what to do, so I don't do anything. I feel the sofa cushion beneath me move slightly, and I know that Ashton has moved closer to me.

"Jen." He says, and I turn my head. His lips meet mine, in a soft kiss. This time, I respond. The bottle I was holding falls to the floor as I reach up and tangle my hand in his soft, curly hair. He pulls me so I'm straddling him, and I moan quietly. Ashton smiles under my lips and I do too.

There is only one reason to explain why I'm kissing him back, and that is that I think that kissing him now will get him out of my system. It'll make me stop thinking about what happened earlier and just focus on Luke and I. I hope it works.

Ashton pulls away, resting his forehead on mine, breathing deeply.

"What are we doing?" He asks, not bitterly, just in a curious tone.

"Getting whatever this is, out of our systems. I lo-like Luke, like, a lot." I inform him, and he nods, understanding. He gently lifts me off of him, and places me beside him.

"Well, um, I'm gonna, uh, go to bed. Yeah. See you tomorrow." He smiles kindly, and places one last kiss on my cheek before walking into his room and closing the door.

I'm such an idiot.

///

NO

jen and ash

what r u thinking

stupid stupid stupid