DMs // hemmings [editing]

ventiquattro.

[unedited]  

15th February

// Luke POV //

Pain.

Pain is inevitable when your best friend is dying.

The pain began the day Ashton told us that he has a brain tumour.

It worsened the day he went into a coma.

And my pain's climax has to be today.

Today's the day that Ashton will die.

Ashton hasn't shown any sign of progress in the past thirty one days, so today, the doctor will be turning off the life support.

Today, my best friend will die.

Things have been very tense between Michael and I, and I think Calum is slipping into depression. My mum and Jen, as well as my brothers and Ashton's mum, have all been so calm. I'm sure Anne must be dying inside, knowing that her eldest child will be deceased by the end of the day.

Today I will cry.

I've cried a lot, I've sat beside his hospital bed for countless hours (they finally allowed Calum, Michael and I to visit him), I've written songs about him, I've even fallen asleep crying as Jen held me.

Today, I will possibly experience the worst pain I have ever felt.

I couldn't explain the pain I felt in my heart when the doctor told us what would be occuring today. But when it actually happens, I know it'll be so much worse.

Today is the day that Jen sees me at my worst.

Admittedly, my emotions have been all over the place since Ashton fell into a coma, but I have a feeling it's about to get an awful lot worse.

Today, my best friend will die.

///

Suuuuuper short, but suuuuper crucial.

Also, I've uploaded the prologue and first chapter of my new Calum fic, "Cigarettes".

It'd mean the world to me if you guys could check it out, I'll start writing more of it once this is finished (which won't be far away......)