I feel the sweat running down my back, hear the thump of my heart rattle against my chest. My hands shake as I sign off on the statement for the investigators. Four hours of questioning, repeating myself, crying, allowing them to talk down to me about my relationship with Toby, I eventually ask to be excused, my lawyer agreeing as he locks his briefcase next to me.
Toby is now being charged with not one murder, but two. I disclosed the information of the whereabouts of the Ravenscraig worker and sent the officers to the lodge that was burned to a crisp, the body along with it. If it weren't for the worker's dental records, they'd never have been able to identify him. Justin is being charged with attempted murder against myself and my babies. But both of them are ghosts in the night, vanished from the streets, only spotted in a few areas over the past few weeks.
My car was found abandoned near the lodge, a trail of footprints was traced to a nearby motorway, where it ends. All of my wheels were punctured, my windows smashed, and my phone gone, along with my purse and any money I had.
For apparently being rich, Toby robbed me of everything. My bank was emptied, all my accounts at null. That's a separate issue that's being dealt with. A random man was seen at a cash register at the border of Scotland and England, lifting as much as possible from my bank. Justin a day later, maxing out my credit card from the same bank machine. I know they have all my pins and passwords; they are saved on my phone that Toby knows the password to.
I've not even bothered to get a new phone, I'm happy with being on my work one and having the people around me that I need.
Oh, and this is shitty for me to say, but I hope Toby enjoys watching all the sex videos, pictures, and explicit messages I kept from Ewan and I, the wanker.
After what he did, I hope it hurts to watch them, to read about the life Ewan and I had, something he will never have with me. Who tells their friend to stab the woman you apparently love? Attempt to kill your own children? No, Toby doesn't love me, I'm not sure he even knows what that word means.
Ewan offered to pay my half of the rent and to be honest, I couldn't refuse him. My parents would never help, so I wouldn't lower myself to even ask. He has been my saving grace, driving me to work when the police escorts forget, hiding me from news reporters, staying over when Gabriella has a late shift, and will chat on skype with me in the middle of the night when I can't sleep.
"We will be in contact with you, Doctor Miller," The investigator says, raising his eyebrows at me, folding up his paperwork. "We will have a patrol car outside your house, I know you get escorts to work and back, but we can't chance them coming after you, I believe Toby Mitchell will strike when we least expect him to."
I nod once, feeling the tingles run up my spine, my nerves are still shattered from the way they spoke to me, and I think I might burst out crying as soon as we walk out of this room. "Thank you," I reply, making my way out of the room, down the narrow hallway, and out of the police station on the busy main road.
"Oh, and congratulations on the news," my lawyer announces behind me, tilting his head down to my slight baby bump. "I'll let you know what happens next and just... be safe." He walks away, giving me a tight smile, mirroring my own.
I'm still a bit sore, but the doctors were happy to discharge me in the second week, giving me strict orders to rest but not to stay in bed. After plenty of relaxing, I wanted to get back to normality, and feel somewhat useful.
I see Ewan pull up in the carpark after ten minutes of waiting in the snow, and I feel all the butterflies replacing the twisting tension in my gut. It's ridiculous that I can even feel this way considering I've been with him every day for the last three weeks. The four of us have been kind of inseparable. Gabs, Ewan, Jason, and I all having a Harry Potter binge while the school is off for Christmas break and going to the Christmas market at Glasgow City Centre. The dogs have loved sleeping in my bed, curling up at my feet every night. I've told Gabriella to wait for the tree, it's only the tenth of December.
I've not heard a single word from Toby, and I'm ashamed to admit that I intentionally didn't block my phone for a week, so I can contact him if I need to. But my better judgement has finally kicked my arse and makes me see sense, that I have no reason to speak to him. I mean, he told Justin to kill me, which could have killed his own babies.
Our twins.
It took me nearly a week to even talk about the fact that I'm having twins, and Ewan had to speak to my parents for me because they went crazy, calling me irresponsible and my mum even went as far as calling me the psychoslut. To say Ewan lost his shit at them is an understatement, but whatever he said, worked. I received a long apology message, sent to Gabriella's phone, my mum asking for my forgiveness.
I didn't reply.
My head is all over the place, but I know the way I feel as soon as I sit in the car, Ewan's hand on mine while he asks me how it went, is something that I need. Wanting something, the way I craved Toby and his wicked ways, it somehow dominated what I actually need, and I need myself more than anything, my babies need a healthy, safe and above all, sane mother.
"Jason wanted to stay with his mum tonight and Gabriella is off work, do you still need me to come over?"
Yes. "No," I reply, clipping my seatbelt in. "Plus, are you not fed up with sleeping on the couch? Go home and get a good sleep, maybe go get a drink with your friends."
"You know I hate drinking," he replies, indicating his car to turn right on the dual carriageway. "I might go out though, are you sure you don't need me?"
I have absolutely no right to feel any type of jealousy right now, so I smile at him, nodding, and focus on staying calm while I feel like crying. "You deserve it," I say after a long pause. "I'm surprised you're still helping me."
He rolls his eyes, turning the music up loud and continues to drive until we reach my place, parking up at the gate. "I forgot to show you this," he says, pulling out his phone. "Toby's mum got back to you last night, she said she's glad you messaged and would love to meet up."
"Great."
________
I think I might kill Gabriella if she tells me one more time that she wants to fuck Malfoy.
"Stop," I say, raising my hand to shush her. "You're like fifteen years older than him."
"He's my age now, actually."
Ewan huffs next to me, shaking his head. I try to hold in my laugh at his tipsy contorted face, but it's no use. He showed up maybe an hour ago, growing bored of his night out with his friends. I'm not complaining, my day has gotten ten times better since he showed up.
"You'd fuck anything with a pulse, wouldn't you?" he asks her, his leg fused against mine as we sit with our backs to the couch, sitting on the rug. Gabriella is perched on the couch behind us, crunching loudly on her crisps.
"So would Aria," she replies, making me imagine her death in a million ways.
He doesn't say anything, just side-eyes me with a smirk and continues to watch Deathly Hallows until Gabriella announces that she got a text that she needs to go into work for an emergency, leaving us alone.
"She was only kidding when she said that," I say, breaking the comfortable silence between us. "She was just trying to annoy you."
He clears his throat. "Debatable," he jokes, raising a brow at me with his elbow resting on his parted knees. I nudge him with my shoulder lazily, giving him a murderous look.
I rest my head on him, keeping my eyes on Ron going tits at Harry and Hermione. "There's only been like six people since we split up, your number is probably higher."
When we split up, I went wild for a few months before settling into the cycle with Ewan. I was sleeping with a girl for a few weeks before dropping her, but I never ever stopped seeing him, not until I met Toby. I never really took into consideration how hard all of this must be for him, that I fucked him off for some American dude that knocks me up and tries to kill me.
Why is he even still here?
"My number is still sitting at two since we split up, but you probably don't believe me."
I sit up, staring at him in disbelief. "But what about the girl you were talking to a few months ago, Freida? And who else?"
"Oh, I nearly fucked her, but she didn't like the family pictures covering the house," he responds with a laugh, running his hand through his hair, his tattoos on his bicep catching my eye. "And from you bringing that girl to mine."
My eyes widen. "God." I blurt out, covering my face with my hands, feeling the embarrassment building around me. "Please do not ever repeat that."
So, when I was drunk, I met this chick in the club and talked her into coming with me to my ex-boyfriend's house. It took Ewan a lot of encouragement, and I was so drunk that I stripped the girl and myself in front of him, made him watch as we did things to each other. He finally gave in, and I woke up with so much regret and jealousy that I blamed him. It was messy, the house was destroyed, and it took us hours to clean it up before Jason came home from Kayla's.
I deleted the video as soon as I turned on my phone.
We've never spoken about it since.
"Wait, who else have you been with then?" he questions me with a smile. "Kaleb from your work, I can't even remember that girl's name, then the other girl, and Toby." He thinks to himself, narrowing his eyes. "I don't even want to know, actually."
Biting down on my lip, I rest my head on his shoulder once more. "I just wanted revenge sex when I found out. I haven't slept with anyone else in over a year. Well, before Toby."
"It's a good thing that part of us is gone now," Ewan says, and I feel my heart shatter at the positiveness in his tone as he rests his head on mine, silence following while we watch the rest of the movie before I go to bed.
I'm not sure how long I've been staring at the ceiling, but I can't sleep and I'm battling with myself not to go in and sit with Ewan. I know this friendship thing is working, but the undeniable chemistry between us is still there. I still feel butterflies going crazy when I'm around him, when he touches my hand or when he's close by. I smile when I see him, forgetting all the bullshit for a split second.
Why can I not just move on? Why can I not forget about him and accept this is over between us, that we are done?
Are we done?
My heart wins the inner battle, and I shove aside my bedding, my bare feet padding along the floor as I make my way into the living room. I see Ewan on the couch, the blanket dropped to the floor, his legs spread out and his arms above his head. I watch him intently, my hormones going crazy at him only in boxers, his tanned skin defining his abs and tattoos all over.
"Ewan," I whisper his name, moving his leg so I can sit on the edge of the couch. "Ewan."
One of his eyes opens slightly, groaning as he stretches. "Hi."
"I can't sleep, can I lie with you?"
He tilts his head at me, but shifts to reposition himself, giving me space to lie down next to him, facing him. I can see he's struggling with where to put his hand, it's kind of floating above me. Feeling my heart starting to race, I cuddle into his chest, bringing his hand down around my side.
Is it normal to cry from happiness in this position? I can't stop the overwhelming feeling, it's hitting me like a tidal wave, repeatedly. "What's wrong?" Ewan asks, moving my hair out of my face as I look up to meet his pale greens. "Why are you crying?"
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I shake my head. "I just hate everything," I let out a sob, my lip trembling. "And I'm so scared that I'm going to fail these kids, Ewan."
"You couldn't fail. Are you still worried about the single mother thing?"
I nod, my eyes closing as he runs his thumbs up to my cheek, catching my painful tears. "Yeah, I always thought that if I was to ever have kids, they'd be with you. But..." I struggle to finish, burying my head in his chest again as my body shakes. "I'm so sorry that I didn't forgive you sooner."
"That's my own fault, not yours," he replies, holding me against him. "We both know if it wasn't for you, I'd have messed up on the parenting front. You taught me everything. You're not going to be a single mother, Aria. I'm going to be here and be a father figure in their life, like you did with Jason when Kayla fucked him off to go party. I know we aren't together..." He leans back to look at me, his jaw tensing at my tear-soaked face. "But I'll be here."
I keep my eyes on his, my hands on his chest as I shift so I'm level with him. My breathing is uneven, and I have an urge to close any distance between us.
"You don't need to," I whisper, my eyes falling to his lips then back to his tired eyes. "I don't want you to feel obligated to."
I can feel his heart starting to speed up under my palm on his chest, his pupils dilating. "I want to," he whispers back, gulping. "Kade and Luciella are the names you said you liked?" I nod at him, remembering telling him in the hospital my favourites if there's one of each. "Well, together, we will give them an awesome life, right?"
I lean forward, my hands gliding up his hard, tattooed chest and into his hair, my nose against his, waiting for his reaction. "I miss you," I sigh, hooking my leg around his frozen form, his eyes searching my face. "I really miss you."
As soon as his hand rests on my hip, I give in and press my lips against his, enjoying the millisecond of closeness before Ewan pulls away, his touch leaving my body. Dread fills me as I watch him, his brows furrowed with a dumbfounded look. "You can't do that, Aria. You can't seek me out for comfort."
Hurt, I stand from the couch, pulling my top down to cover my underwear. "I thought..." I trail off looking at the wall above him as I chew on my lip. It must be the weight I've gained, or the bump, or the spots that have appeared on my face from stress. Ewan doesn't find me attractive anymore, and the thought has my stomach turning. "I'm going to bed."
Before I can walk away, Ewan sits up and grabs my hand, staring at me as he runs his thumb over my skin, sending shocks everywhere around me. "You know that if we kiss, it won't end there because it never does. I just can't, Aria."
"Because I'm pregnant, getting fat, and I'm ugly. Yeah, I get it," I accidentally snap at him, making him cock a brow and pull me between his legs, his hands on my hips.
"I still think you're the most beautiful person in this world and being pregnant just amplifies it. I just think it will mean a lot to me and nothing to you, maybe it was an emotional outburst."
"It isn't like that," I reply, chewing on my lip. "I just..." I trail off, feeling a pressure on my chest. "I don't know."
"You can't kiss me then hop into bed with Toby when and if he ever shows up." He shakes his head, running an inked hand down his face. "I want you to be sure before you do something like that. Okay?"
"Yeah," I muster a reply, my throat dry, eyes watering. "Can you... can you lie in bed with me? I don't want to be alone."
He smiles warmly, nodding, lacing our fingers as he walks us to my bedroom. I climb under the duvet, waiting on him getting into his side before resting my head on his chest. It feels safe, being here with him. I miss Ewan, I miss the way things used to be.
Running my fingers up his arm, I trace his thick veins before settling my palm on his chest, snuggling into him. He presses his lips to my forehead, an act that has me blushing as his chin rests on my head. "Goodnight, Aria."
I grin, hiking my leg onto him and feeling myself breathe as he holds me in place. "Goodnight."
I struggled to sleep before, but now... I easily fall into a dream. For the first time in weeks, I don't wake through the night, but I am met with Ewan's morning wood, causing him to run for a cold shower.
________
"Denmark is so cold!" Mrs Dermot shouts, smiling, her nose red from the coldness as she walks through the park. "The nurses put the Christmas tree up in the ward today, Ivy loved it."
I smile at my laptop screen, sitting at the kitchen table while Ewan makes breakfast. "I saw the reports that Ivy's been extended another nine weeks. Are you happy with everything so far? I should be able to fly over soon, there are just a few issues on my end to deal with first."
She turns the camera to Ivy on the special needs swing, her wheelchair clipped into the large swing, her smile warming me. "She's loving it here. You should have seen her face when I took her into the main ward, she pointed to the angel at the top of the tree."
"Great! And no more seizures?"
She shakes her head, turning the camera back to herself. "Nope, and she isn't complaining about any pain either."
This is wonderful news, after years of searching for help and failing countless times, Ivy has finally gotten into a trial that is helping her symptoms. With this much development over a short period of time, I'm excited to hear what happens in the future.
She waves goodbye, Ivy smiling widely on the screen before it cuts off. "That sounds good then," Ewan says, handing me my plate of fry up food and a cup of tea. "Is this the same girl we went to Paris with?"
"Yeah, she seems to be doing well, but it makes me nervous when I have hope. Remember when she was doing better and just out of the blue deteriorated? I'm terrified it happens again."
"Understandable," he responds. "You wouldn't be Aria if you didn't worry about others." He swallows his food, handing me his phone. "You need to call his mum back. She messaged and asked if you are still free to meet up today."
I message her back, asking if she is free after four and would be okay to meet at the Glasgow Botanic gardens. She responds within five minutes, saying she looks forward to seeing me and asks if I will be alone. I tell her of course, but Ewan will be in his car nearby, waiting to drive me home.
"Are you ready for the truth?"
_____________
Five minutes late, I walk up to the entrance gate, my hat and scarf barely keeping me warm in the snow. I see Violetta in the distance, talking on her phone, throwing her hands around with a scowl on her face. I turn to give Ewan the thumbs up, and he drives to the nearby carpark to wait for me to show up at the entrance when I'm finished.
"Oh, Aria." She shrieks, hanging up the phone as I approach her. "It's nice to see you, dear." She pulls me in for a hug, and I wince slightly as her bag presses against my nearly healed wound. "I was going to suggest we go to my hotel room, it's far too cold out here."
I look around us, contemplating before agreeing with her. "Where is your hotel?"
"Just across the street."
I follow her, feeling somewhat uneasy as she keeps checking her phone. Turning to look around us once more, I try to get Ewan's attention, but he's too far away. "I can't be too long," I say, entering the bright hotel lobby while she rummages in her bag for her key card. "I have a work meeting at seven."
"Of course," she mutters, pressing the button to call the elevator. "I'm glad we get the chance to talk, Toby has told me a lot about you. And the baby? What wonderful news. Toby is very excited to become a father and he's truly sorry about the accident."
I frown as we reach her floor, following her to the door. "How do you know; do you speak to him?"
She doesn't reply to my question, all she does is glance over her shoulder at me with a worried look, swiping the card on the door to unlock it. "You need to understand something, Aria. And you will when your baby is born, you will do everything possible to keep it safe. So, no matter the consequences, Toby will always be my number one priority."
"What are you talking about?" I ask, my heart starting to race, standing at the entrance of her room while she walks in. "Violetta?"
A shadow comes from the corner of the room, deep blue shocking eyes burning into me as he approaches. "Toby," I gasp, stepping back in fear, readying myself to make a run for it before his hands grab at my wrists, pulling me into the room. I collide with his chest, his hand covering my mouth before I can scream for help, the door slamming shut behind me.
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I'm sorry this update took so long but I had a family emergency. It's very fillierish to get me back in the swing. I decided that I'm changing my initial ending, so there will be around ten more chapters... maybe more. I'm not going to count and just focus on the story.
Thanks for all the reads, comments, and votes!
If you haven't caught on already, Insatiable that has been added to my page is Kade, Toby and Aria's son. Make sure you follow and add it to your list, this one will be as heart-gripping as this story!
You have no idea how much I love you guys, so I hope you don't mind if I keep you all a little longer on this journey!