I don't know how many days pass, I just know that our stunt made everything worse.
Of course, I knew that, but I didn't expect this.
To the shocks, they add flogging and I can't stand, can't move, can't feel my back where I am sure my tattoo is garbage.
Most nights I can only pull myself into the corner to Gloss, where I only sleep once we hold hands because otherwise, I was scared I would lose myself in the dark.
I believe it is the third night since the screening in which Peeta comes back, muttering Katniss' name. But not like he did before. With a certain insanity, with anger.
So I crawl over to him, slowly and in pain.
"Peeta", I croak out, again and again until he turns to me.
"She is a mutt. She will kill us. I...I am..I don't know."
I close my eyes, asking myself what they have done to him.
"You are Peeta. Your favourite colour is orange, you love cherry pie, you are an artist. You survived two Hunger Games. You will survive this. Remember what you promised me. Keep fighting."
"She is a mutt...", he mutters.
"Katniss? No. You love her. You saved each other. She loves you. She loves you Peeta. Hold onto that, okay?"
Slowly he blinks. "Okay. Okay...okay."
"Peeta. Don't give up. You will get through this. We all will."
He nods and curls up, falling asleep. We surprisingly are allowed to sleep, but the beatings get worse. For Gloss too. He has at least three broken ribs. Bruises and cuts litter his body. They cut up his leg until they hit the bone.
Johanna I believe gets similar treatment as I. There are burn marks from the stun gun on her body, small jagged lines, like lighting surrounding them.
Thirteen
Katniss tiptoes through the great hall until she finds Finnick, who looks like he hasn't slept in days. She talks to him about her theory and he just sighs.
"You...Of course, you know. They are doing the same with Talisa", she concludes quickly.
"Well, they must have realized by now that she doesn't know anything, so..."
"I am so sorry", the young girl says as she looks at the broken looking man.
"No. I am sorry. I didn't warn you."
For a while, they talk until Katniss asks how he bears all of it.
"I don't Katniss! Obviously, I don't. I drag myself out of nightmares each morning, just to find there is no relief in waking", he stops for a moment, "Better to not give into it. It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart."
Katniss takes a deep breath.
"How do you keep going?"
"I know that she would want me to do that. Snow has taken so much from her, from me. She would swat me over the head if she found out that I let him take away my hope too."
He pulls out a small sketchbook and hands it to her. The girl looks through the sketches, stopping at a picture of her and Peeta.
"She is good", Katniss mumbles and a tear slips down her cheek.
"The more you distract yourself the better. First thing tomorrow we will get you your own rope. Till then you take mine."
Capitol
The next morning I get dragged out again, sat down on a chair and cuffed to it. The President enters.
"You made a big mistake yesterday Miss Moreno."
"Depends on which side you are on."
"I stand on the side of peace and unity my dear Talisa. You are the one that gets people killed. The rebels are the ones causing death."
I scoff.
"The rebels fight for their rights. For freedom and equality. We are not the ones getting people killed, you are."
The man smiles.
"I thought you might say that", he says and nods to a person standing behind me.
The room darkens and a picture appears on the wall in front of me.
A video starts. It shows Peacekeepers exiting a train, making their way through familiar streets, through familiar gates, a familiar door.
And then I see my grandparents and a gasp escapes me. They are confused when the Peacekeepers yell at them, make them put down a plastic plane on the floor.
Fear is evident in their eyes. So much fear, my eyes water.
They are ordered to get on their knees and I see realization strike my grandfather as he grabs my grandmother's hand and they do as they are told.
"These are President's Orders. You, Mr Ylang and Mrs Moreno are sentenced to death. The Sentence is to be carried out immediately."
My grandfather raises his head.
"On what charges."
"Sins committed by your granddaughter."
Then two shots ring out and they collapse onto the floor, where I found them later that day.
I bite my lip, my whole body shaking, trying to not give into it and break down, cry and give the president what he wants.
"See, these are number one and two. This is number three."
Another video starts and I see Lucinda, crying on a chair as she is ruled guilty for treason. She gets cuffed and led into the inner yard of the justice building, up onto the wooden construction, where a man dressed in black is waiting.
Her parents' cries make the whole thing worse. The noose is placed around her neck and the trap door opened. The noose tightens and my friend claws at her throat. Her mother drops to her knees, her father cries. Her body goes limp and my nails dig into my palms, drawing blood. The president's eyes bore into mine.
"Fuck you", I say, a rasp in my voice.
"Number Four", he just says and the image changes to the elevator in the training center, our floor, a panicked Mariann, a single shot, blood.
"Lovely letters you wrote. Dear my little fairy, how sad I am to not see you grow up into the beautiful woman you will be. I can only hope you remember me when you are older. But know that I loved you and that you can be everything you want to be. Also, I officially allow you to punch your brother if he is mean to you. Only not that hard...Really, very touching, but this one too. Hello Mike, I just write this to remind you that you have no fault in anything that happened. I would have volunteered for Mariann no matter what. Thank you for your support, for being the father I never really had. Continue working on your cooking and drink a little Bourbon from time to time in my honor...Almost adorable. Such sweet words from a murderer."
I just pray to whatever god there may be that they are alright, that they are alive.
"Oh, and Number Five", Snow smiles and my heart stops. The film shows the victors village again, shouts and calls in the background, heavy footsteps hurrying towards the door that belongs to the Halloways. The rooms are empty, so they continue in the backyard. And there is Mike, bashing the head of one peacekeeper in with my bamboo staff, but is shot just as he hits the second one. A strangled cry escapes my lips. But there is no sight of the children, which means that they are safe, that they are alive. For now.
"Number Six."
I don't recognize the streets that the camera films, don't recognize the people that scramble out of the way. But I recognize the houses in the victor's village. It is District Four. And a girl with golden hair and sea-green eyes is pulled out of a house by her hair. She resembles Finnick so much and it hits me.
"Annie...", I mumble and close my eyes. Finnick's only family. The only one he had left after Mags died. I flinch as a shot rings out, and then more. Four, Five. When I open my eyes, multiple people, some with tridents and nets in their hands, sprawled out on the ground. I recognize them. Other victors. And Annie. Beautiful Annie.
"Number Seven."
It is Cinna, beaten bloody and looking like he had been starved for days, his skin had lost its glow, but there is defiance in his eyes. They use electroshocks on him until his body gives out.
"Number Eight."
It's Finnick, footage of him in a destroyed District. Side by side with Katniss and a few other people I don't know. But the man next to the girl seems oddly familiar.
Bombs are dropped and the group fights back. More shots ring out and there is Finnick, a bullet tearing through his chest, eyes widened as he touches his chest and collapses onto the ground.
Tears fall from my eyes as sobs and cries escape me.
"All of this could have been avoided, Miss Moreno. You could have done as you have been ordered, but of course, rebellion runs in your blood. I saw that in the arena already. I had to show you the consequences your actions have. Our system worked to everybody's benefit. Now all there is, is death."