A/N: STILL NO SPOILERS, PLEASE! Let's not ruin other people's reading experience. Thank you!
LORELEI
I DON'T know what to feel anymore. This is too much already.
Should I lock myself in my room and cry my eyes out?
Should I scream at the top of my lungs until my voice would no longer come out?
Should I push away people who come to offer me their condolences?
Should I pretend to be okay even though I am not?
What should I feel in the coming days?
I stared at my dad's coffin in front of me. The last time I remember being in the same position was when my mom died. Back then, I was just a child and I was not fully aware of what was happening. My dad told me that my mom's gonna go to a faraway place.
Now I know what real pain meant.
It's been three days since I was informed that he was shot while on his way to our apartment. Even his poor driver died in the drive-by shooting.
I couldn't believe it.
I didn't want to believe it.
Couldn't this be just a nightmare? Like what happened to Alistair and Jamie when I dreamt of them getting killed in the car crash?
This was unfair.
Totally unfair.
He was trying to make things right between us. He was trying to make up with me! He was making an effort! I saw that he's being genuine!
Then fate snatched him away from me. Just moments before we started mending our relationship as father and daughter. Wasn't that the saddest part?
No, wait a minute. This was not fate's doing.
This was the fault of the person who thought it would be fun to shoot at him. Not just once. Not just twice. But eighteen times at his car. Thirteen of the bullets hit my dad who was defenseless in his seat. Whoever pulled the trigger was soulless. He deserved to rot in hell. For all eternity.
Hindi ko 'to matanggap. Ang hirap tanggapin. Ang sakit tanggapin.
I was looking forward to our dinner. Maaga nga akong nag-ayos para doon. I was also looking forward to asking him about his health. Gusto kong malaman kung ano talaga ang tunay niyang kalagayan.
I had a grim thought that his illness—if he's seriously sick—would claim his life. I never thought for a moment that he'd die this way. Unexpected. Without any warning.
That's what made it more painful to me.
Kung pwede ko lang ibalik ang oras, kahit ilang minuto sana, sasabihan ko siya na huwag nang tumuloy. That way, his life could have been saved.
"Lorelei? Lorelei?"
I leisurely lifted my head to see the face of my dad's secretary, Nancy. Pansin kong pagod na rin ang itsura niya. She's the one coordinating everything about the wake. The moment she learned that my dad got into an accident, she quickly drove her way to my apartment. I was glad to have her on my side. I couldn't have handled it on my own.
"Yes?" nakatulala kong tanong. I couldn't see her face clearly. There must be something in my eyes.
"Your dad's attorney called just a few moments ago. He sends his condolences. He's looking forward to meeting you to discuss your father's last will. No rush. I can schedule your meeting once you're feeling better."
Ilang segundo akong nakatulala sa kanya. I heard what she said, but I couldn't process any of it. Parang pasok sa isang tenga at labas sa kabila ang mga salita niya. "Okay."
"We've also arranged the memorial home in Manila where your dad's remains will be brought tomorrow."
"Oh?" walang gana kong tanong. Sandaling nanumbalik ang katinuan ko. Medyo luminaw na ang mukha niya sa paningin ko.
"Yes. We agreed that his remains will be transfered there after two days of wake here. His friends and acquaintances who cannot afford to travel all the way to Pampanga want to pay their last respects to him."
"Okay." I nodded slowly, staring at the coffin again. Parang lente ng camera ang mga mata ko. Nawala ang focus ng mga ito sa kanya at napunta sa kabaong.
"I wish I could tell you that everything's gonna be alright. But it's not appropriate at the moment. Just let yourself grieve. Kung kailangan mo ng kausap, nandito lang ako, ha? We're here for you. Your friends are here for you."
Ngumuso siya sa likuran ko. Sinundan ko ng tingin ang direksyong itinuro niya. Just a few rows behind me, Loki, Alistair and Jamie sat together with my Tita Martha. Mukhang taimtim na nag-uusap ang apat, pero hindi ko mawari kung ano ang pinag-uusapan nila. They were the first to offer me their condolences as soon as I received the tragic news.
I was glad to have them on my side, especially my aunt. She was there for me, checking up on me now and then. They were my crutch the past few days. But their presence alone was not enough to fill the void in my heart.
I still feel empty.
"The Mendez family is here to personally give you their condolences."
May naaninag akong tatlong tao sa aking peripherals habang nakatulala sa kawalan. Nancy assisted me in getting to my feet. My knees still felt weak, I could barely stand.
"Condolences, Lorelei dear." I felt a woman with crown braid hair embracing me gently. I felt the warmth of her body and her breath in my ear. I guess this is Tita Frigette? Medyo fuzzy ang isip ko ngayon kaya nahihirapan akong makilala ang mga taong lumalapit sa akin. "I couldn't imagine what you must be going through right now."
No words would be enough to describe the pain.
"Your father was a great man." I heard a clanking noise as a man with a large build got closer to me. His right hand gently patted me on my shoulder. "Gone too soon. He'll be sorely missed."
Indeed, he was.
"I'm sorry for your loss, Lorelei."
My eyes raised at the next person who stood face to face with me. If I didn't notice his hairstyle and his cold gaze, I wouldn't have recognized him. It's been a little while since I last saw Luthor's face. Hindi ko na maramdaman ang malamig niyang aura. Maybe I got too numb to feel anything. I wish I could tell him that I was happy to see him alive and kicking, but my mind's going blank.
"I met your father when Loki got into trouble because of Stein Alberts. He deserves nothing but respect from all those who knew him."
I hope so. Apparently someone thought he deserved bullets in his body.
"Thank you," I told the three of them. My eyes looked down.
Should I say something else? I don't know. I always said thank you kapag may nagsasabi ng condolences sa akin magmula pa kahapon. I felt like a robot repeating the same line and hearing the same thing over and over.
Tulala kong pinanood ang kanilang paglalakad palayo sa akin. Napansin kong lumapit sa kanilang tatlo sina Alistair at Jamie. Sumunod si Loki. Nagmano silang dalawa sa mga magulang ng magkapatid na Mendez. 'Di katagalan ay lumapit sa kanila ang bodyguard na si Munroe na may dalang folder.
I bit my lower lip. Pinigilan kong tumulo ang aking mga luha. I felt another stabbing pain in my heart. I wouldn't be able to do that again. I wouldn't be able to touch his hand again. I wasn't even able to tell him how much I cared about him. In spite of everything that he has made me feel, deep inside I knew that I still loved him as my dad.
"Lorelei, umupo ka muna."
I sniffled as I successfully held back my tears. I had to be strong. My dad wouldn't want me to be weak. Wasn't that why he let me live my life here in Pampanga? To fend for myself? To be strong?
Iginala ko ang aking mga mata sa loob ng memorial chapel. I haven't realized na marami pala ang nakikiramay sa akin. My classmates were here. My fellow execom members were here. Some of my teachers were here. Even some officials of Clark High came and offered me their condolences.
Hindi ko na matandaan kung sino sa kanila ang kumausap sa akin nang personal. But I appreciate them being here for me, kahit na mukhang napilitan lang pumunta ang ilan.
"My condolences, Miss Rios."
My eyes blinked as I saw a figure standing in front of me. I looked up to see his face. It's Sir Friedrich Rivera.
"Thank you, sir."
He stretched out his arms forward and went for a hug with me. I stood frozen at first. Should I hug him back or not. Hindi ko na alam.
But I felt something. I felt warmth in his arms.
Kumalas siya ng yakap sa akin at marahan akong hinawakan sa magkabilang balikat. Medyo magaan ang mga kamay niya, hindi ako nabigatan.
"I didn't know your dad, but I sincerely believe he's a good man. Look, he raised someone like you. A good daughter."
Hindi ko alam kung paano magre-react. People said the same thing to me repeatedly. My dad's a good man. My dad's in good hands now. Palaging gano'n ang sinasabi sa akin kahit hindi nila gaanong kakilala si papa. It began to sound like a rehearsed line that all of them uttered.
"Do you mind if we take a seat?"
I thought of shaking my head to respectfully decline. I was not in the mood to talk to anyone. Not even to my friends. But that would be rude, especially for a grieving daughter. Kaya tumango ako sa kanya at inalalayan niya akong umupo sa pinakaunang row.
"I know what you're feeling right now."
Oh, you do? Do they truly know how it feels? Or were they just pretending to know? Were they saying those words to make them feel relatable to me?
Sorry for these dark thoughts. My mind's not in the mood. Kung ano-ano na ang naiisip ko. Dala na rin siguro ito ng kakulangan ko sa tulog. I haven't had a good sleep in recent days. Who would?
"I also lost someone dear to me years ago. Not my father, but my brother. Let's say I went through the greatest challenge of my life. My father and mother turned their backs on me. My sisters too. But not my brother. He looked after me despite protest from my family. He never abandoned me."
I slowly turned to him. I was not interested at first on what he had to say. But something caught my attention.
"So when my brother died, I was as heartbroken as you are right now. He looked after me in my darkest days. I promised to look after him and his family. Not many knew his struggles. Only I did. Before he took his last breath, he asked me for one thing. And I promised him to do it. The best way to honor your loved one's memory is to carry out his dying will, right?"
I slackly nodded at him. Marami siyang sinabi pero iilan lang ang na-absorb ko roon. I tried to look interested, but I thought I was failing.
"Your dad may not have been perfect for you, but I'm sure that he's proud of what you've become. I believe that he wants you to rise above the deepest depths of despair and swim across the sea of sorrow until you reach the land of hope, of new tomorrow. Today the skies may be gray or black for you, but tomorrow, the sun will shine as always. When your heart is fully ready, may you appreciate the light it brings into your world."
That made me smile. Just a bit. I couldn't say anymore if he also rehearsed those lines or they just came out naturally, given that he's an English teacher. As I knew already, he has a way with words. Depths of despair. Sea of sorrow. Land of happy. Gray or black skies—
Wait a minute.
Black.
Black?
"...black? Yes, of course. Congratulations! That's the one."
Napahawak ako sa aking ulo. Tila may alaala akong nakakulong sa isip ko na pilit kumakawala. I could hear some voices ringing in my head. I could see some images flashing on my mind.
"Are you okay, Lorelei?"
I squeezed my eyes shut, my face would show that I was in pain. Ramdam kong hinahaplos ni Sir Rich ang likuran ko at paulit-ulit na tinanong kung ayos lang ba ako. I tried to reply, but my thoughts were drowning me.
May mga naririnig akong boses. Hindi ko alam kung saan galing.
"Your father makes more enemies than friends every day."
Why was I hearing Nancy's voice? Bakit ang image na nasa isip ko ngayon ay ang pag-uusap namin sa aming bahay sa Manila isang araw bago ang birthday ni papa?
"Apparently, your father sent a photo of five orange seeds to my father. My father deduced that the threat might be real and it will happen during the party."
Now I found myself standing in front of Loki. He was the one who just finished speaking. Nandoon din sina Jamie at Alistair, nakapalibot sa akin. We were in our formal dresses. Based on the decorations around us—the drapes, the mantles—we were in the moments before the party for my dad's birthday started.
"LORELEI!"
"LORI!"
Bang!
This time, I was standing on a stage, in front of a crowd. I looked down. There was blood on my light blue dress. My eyes widened. Was I shot? No! That was my dad's! He used his body as a shield to protect me. He caught a bullet for me.
My scene on stage became blurred and my surroundings warped into something else. Nasa ospital ako ngayon, kasama pa rin sina Loki, Alistair at Jamie. I remember this scene very clearly. This was right after my dad was rushed to the hospital after being shot.
"How's the interrogation?"
"The assassin confessed that he was paid to infiltrate Mr. Rios' security detail but the one who hired him was anonymous.
"So it's a dead end, huh?"
"It must be one of your father's enemies. This wasn't the first time his life was threatened, according to the head of his security."
Loki and Alistair's conversation ended and everything to faded to black.
Why was I having these recollections? Bakit sa kalagitnaan pa ng wake ni papa? What triggered these memories?
"Hey, are you okay?"
No, this sudden surge of flashbacks must have something to do with what I heard yesterday. Ano ba ang pinag-usapan namin? I began to slowly massage my temple, trying to remember what exactly happened on the first night of my dad's wake.
Kulang ako sa tulog kahapon. Wala ako sa mood. Hindi rin ako makapag-focus sa mga nangyayari sa paligid ko. Whatever people around me were saying went in one ear and out the other.
But I had to remember. I had to know why I was reliving these memories.
Ano ba ang topic namin? Sino ba ang mga kausap ko noon?
Wait a minute. It was Alistair!
"I want to say something, but it might be inappropriate at the moment."
I remember Alistair telling us those curious words yesterday. Nakalupong kami sa tapat ng coffin ni papa. Jamie was hugging me from behind. Loki and Alistair stood beside me.
"This might have something to do with Mr. Rios' death."
I was passively listening to him while staring at my dad's coffin. Kahit gusto kong makinig, hindi makapag-focus ang isipan ko.
"What do you have in mind?" Loki asked. "You won't bring it up if it's not that urgent."
"Sabihin mo na, Al," Jamie urged.
"Remember when we attended Mr. Rios' birthday? May natanggap siyang death threat, 'di ba? We all knew that the threat was real when he got shot and rushed to the hospital. Thankfully he survived."
"If I recall correctly, the assassin aimed his pen gun at Lorelei. Her dad shielded her from the bullet."
"We found out that the assassin was hired by an anonymous client. When the police interrogated him, he had no idea who the mastermind was."
"Teka lang, Al. Why does that sound familiar? Parang may narinig na akong ganyan recently? Doon ba sa pinanood kong balita? O sa series na-binge watch ko sa Netflix?"
"It should really sound familiar to us. Why? Because the person who killed Sir Ephraim Quirino said the same thing. He was hired through a forbidden forum on the net, but he never knew who hired him."
"So you're saying that the person who tried to have Mr. Rios killed during his birthday party is the person who had him killed at an intersection the other day? I see how you managed to make the connection. I was about to say that it was a little far-fetched. But given the manner how Mr. Rios died—drive-by shooting, a favorite among hired guns—it makes sense to me."
"Aside from his staff, who else knew that Mr. Rios was in Pampanga? Who had enough time to make the arrangement for his shooting?"
"I can only think of one person who saw him other than Lorelei."
"Sir Rivera!"
"Sir Rivera!"
"Yes, Miss Rios?"
Iminulat ko ang aking mga mata at huminga nang malalim na tila umahon ako sa kailaliman ng dagat. With my eyes widened in shock, I turned to Sir Rich on my left who looked so concerned about me.
So that's what we talked about yesterday!
"Are you okay? Bakit parang namumutla ka?" tanong niya.
My consciousness was coming back to me. Kung kanina'y mapupusyaw ang mga kulay sa paligid ko, ngayo'y nagbalik na sa dati nilang tingkad. Mas lumawak na rin ang focus ng paningin ko. I could hear people chattering around us.
Napalunok ako ng laway habang nakatingin kay Sir Rich. I should have realized it sooner, if only I was paying attention!
Iginala niya ang kanyang tingin sa paligid namin. Maging ako'y napasunod sa kanyang mga mata. He was watching as people were leaving the memorial chapel. Even Jamie and Tita Martha were being escorted out. I furrowed my eyebrows at them. Did Nancy ask them to leave? Was it time for a ceremony or something that I wasn't aware of?
"Why is everyone leaving?" Sir Rich muttered.
I also had the same question in mind. Ang tanging natira sa loob ay sina Loki, Alistair at Munroe. Even Nancy was nowhere to be found.
What's going on here?
"Should I leave as well?" Tumayo na si Sir Rich at inayos ang collar ng kanyang polo. Humarap siya sa akin. "Once again, my sincerest condolences to you and your family. Kung kailangan mo ng kausap, nandito lang ako—"
Huminga ako nang malalim habang nakatitig sa kanya. Hindi ko siya nilubayan ng tingin.
I don't care anymore if this was the right moment to ask, but I needed his answer. I needed to know the truth!
"Who are you?" I asked.
His eyebrows knitted. "Huh?"
"Who are you really?"
"You know me, Miss Rios. I'm Friedrich Rivera, an English instructor at Clark High. Are you feeling well? Why are you asking—"
"Who are you really?" I asked him for the third time, now with a growling voice. I clenched my shaking fists.
I hope that my gut feeling was wrong. I hope that everything I suspected about him was wrong.
He only stared at me with his calm eyes. I waited for him to answer, but he did not. Lumakad siya palapit sa coffin at tiningnan ang papa ko sa salamin. Sunod siyang tumayo sa tabi ng isa sa mga funeral wreath at humarap sa akin.
"Lorelei, the truth is—"
"Lori?"
Sir Rich took a pause as he cast a glance on the person who interrupted us.
"Yes, Al?" I turned to my left and noticed Alistair and Loki coming to me. Munroe the bodyguard was walking behind them.
"Pwede ka ba naming makausap?" tanong niya.
"What is it? Bakit umalis ang iba—"
Without giving me any warning, Alistair grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me closer to his side. Loki took a step in front of me, making both of them shield me from Sir Rich.
"Ano'ng nangyayari?" pabulong kong tanong.
"The person before you is a dangerous man," Loki answered, tossing a glance at me. "We have to ask everyone to leave so he can't possibly harm anyone."
"What's going on here?" Sir Rich asked, taking a step forward.
"Halt." Munroe pulled out a gun hidden in the holster on his ankle and quickly pointed it at the English instructor.
"I'm sorry, Lori," Alistair said, looking at me over his shoulder. "Ayaw kong mag-iskandalo sa mismong lamay ng papa mo, pero hindi natin pwedeng palampasin ang pagkakataong 'to."
Sir Rich raised both of his hands, still frozen where he stood. "I have no idea what's going on here, but please put that gun away. You might hurt someone."
But Munroe did not budge. His hands holding the gun remained steady.
Can someone explain to me what's going on here? Litong-lito na ako!
"The DNA test results finally came this evening, thanks to Munroe," Loki explained. "Guess what? Only eighteen percent of your DNA matched. He's not your father, if that's what you're wondering. But he's definitely a relative of yours. You can now bid farewell to the possibility that your father is a criminal."
I swallowed the lump in my throat. Nagawi ang tingin ko kay Sir Rich na nakataas pa rin ang mga kamay at palipat-lipat sa amin ang kanyang tingin.
"Lori, he is your uncle," Alistair revealed. My mouth gaped. "Isn't that right? Mr. Fritzgerald Rivera?"
"What?" Muli akong napatingin kay Sir Rich. He just lifted his head, his eyes still staring at us.
"His fingerprints matched the prints of a man named Fritzgerald Rivera, an ex-convict who was charged with murder," Loki went on explaining, making me turn to him. "Munroe did some digging into his background and found out that he was exchanging letters with his brother named—wait for it—Friedrich Rivera while he was in prison."
My lips parted slightly as I stared at him. So the greatest challenge of his life he mentioned earlier was...
"The real Friedrich might be your dad, but he passed away years ago," Alistair added. Sa kanya naman ako napatingin. "The Sir Rivera we know is posing as him. We still don't know why. He probably used the name and the credentials of Friedrich Rivera in the documents he submitted to apply in Clark High."
"He's like roleplaying a character whom he knew very well," Loki added. "We can only assume that the two were quite close. That would perfectly explain why he did what he did."
"But the editor-in-chief of the publishing house..." I muttered. "He knew him!"
"Did the EIC mention anything about fake Friedrich being the writer of The Serenade of the Siren?" Loki asked. "Or did he mention anything about him being one of their writers? If he is really the Friedrich Rivera, the EIC should be extolling his success, telling you that you could be like him in the future."
My eyes blinked as I looked back. Ni minsan sa meeting namin, walang nabanggit si Sir Johannes na kahit anong reference na naging writer si Sir Rivera—o kung sinuman talaga siya.
"What struck me as odd during your meeting is the nickname Fritz," Alistair said. "Why would the EIC call him by that name? Pwede namang Rich, 'di ba? He told us to call him by that name when we first met him. He would have told the others to call him the same, right? Here's my guess: The EIC probably knew exactly who he is—the brother of their late mystery novelist."
Napahawak ako sa aking ulo at halos masabunutan ko na ang sarili ko. Nalilito na ako sa nangyayari. Hindi ko na alam kung ano ang ia-absorb sa mga pinagsasabi nila. Iniangat ko ang aking tingin kay Sir Rivera—hindi ko na siya tatawaging Sir Rich—at hinintay siyang i-deny ang mga paratang sa kanya.
But he said nothing.
"The truth is quite complicated," Sir Rivera spoke at last, dropping his arms on his sides. "Let me explain everything. Especially to you, Lorelei. I will answer any question you might have."
He then offered his hands as if he was asking to be handcuffed.
Nagkatinginan muna ang mga lalaki bago tumango si Loki sa kasama naming bodyguard. Munroe nodded as he lowered his gun and carefully approached the person in front of us.
"Don't worry, I'm unarmed—"
Sakaling pumikit ako, na-miss ko na ang mga sumunod na nangyari.
Sir Rivera kicked the funeral wreath stand toward Munroe and knocked him to the floor. I gasped. The two men struggled, but the teacher got hold of the gun.
Umurong kaming tatlo nina Alistair at Loki. They both shielded their bodies in front of me.
"I'm sorry, Lorelei. I'm only honoring your father's wishes."
BANG! BANG!
q.e.d.
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