A/N: NO SPOILERS, PLEASE! Let's not ruin other people's reading experience. Thank you!
LORELEI
"I'm on my way to your apartment. Will be there in about... fifteen minutes. Please get yourself ready."
"Don't worry, dad. Kanina pa ako naka-ready rito."
"I'll see you in a few."
"Take care, dad."
"Take care too, Lorelei."
I HUNG up the call and let out a long sigh. Natulala ang aking mga mata sa pangalan ng papa ko. The light slowly dimmed and my reflection appeared on the screen. I don't know what to feel exactly. Was it excitement? Anxiety? Nervousness?
This was a strange moment for me.
If you haven't had dinner with your father in a while, what would you feel? Take note: Hindi ito basta-basta dinner kung saan kailangan mo siyang samahan dahil iyon ang nakagawian n'yo. Ito 'yong tipo ng dinner na ang papa mo mismo ang nagyaya at hindi ka napilitang samahan siya. Kapag kasi sabay kaming kumakain noon, I had no choice but to join him. Kaunting kumustahan lang tapos tahimik na kaming kakain hanggang sa matapos kami.
This time, I felt it's gonna be different. He treated me coldly all these years. Hindi ko naramdaman na ama ko siya, na umasta siya na isa siyang magulang sa akin. It felt like he's my dad in name only. He gave me his family name, his money, his roof above my head—but that's it. I somewhat resented him for making me feel that way. But given the recent developments, I wanted to give him a chance.
My dad Walter said he had some realizations in life, thanks to the situation that put him in danger. As it appeared right now, he's trying to make up with me. A step in the right direction, he said. A leap, I thought. All my life, I wanted him to be the dad that he was supposed to be to me. Ngayong nag-e-effort na siya, sino ba ako para magmatigas pa?
Hindi naman ako gano'n ka-excited para sa paglabas namin ngayong gabi. Pagpatak ng alas-singko, nang makauwi na ako sa apartment, naligo ulit ako at nagbihis. I chose a blouse and a skirt that gave off a semi-formal vibe. I needed to dress appropriately for the occasion. This doesn't happen very often anyway.
"Talagang bumabawi na ang daddy Walter mo, ah?" natutuwang komento ni Jamie. Nakaupo siya sa couch namin, nakasuot pa rin ng school uniform. She was twirling her hair in a braid. "Tama nga yatang sa Team Walter ako kumampi. Dapat mag-keep up si Sir Rivera kung ayaw niyang mapag-iwanan."
"This is not a competition," I reminded her. Heto na naman tayo sa Team Walter versus Team Friedrich. "Ni hindi pa nga natin alam kung siya ba talaga ang biological dad ko. Huwag muna natin siyang pangunahan."
"We'll find out soon, won't we?" Alistair asked. Nakasuot pa rin siya ng kanyang school uniform. Nakaupo siya sa couch habang nakahiga si Freya sa kanyang lap. He was gently stroking her chin. "Depende sa lab na pinagdalhan ng sample kung ilang araw ang hihintayin natin. I'm excited to know what the results will be."
I took a deep breath. Isa pa 'yon sa mga nagpapakaba sa akin. Noong una'y medyo chill lang ako. Kalma lang, walang dapat pangambahan. Pero noong kinunan na ako ng blood sample kanina at nilagay sa filter paper, doon na nag-sink-in na malapit ko nang malaman kung totoo nga ba ang hinala namin.
It's already five-fifty in the afternoon. In less than fifteen minutes, my dad Walter would be arriving and knocking on our room door. Pwedeng ang driver ang paaakyatin niya rito para sunduin ako. Pwede ring tatawagan niya ako sa phone at papupuntahin sa kotse dahil ayaw niyang lumabas ng sasakyan.
So why are Alistair and Jamie in our apartment? Shouldn't they be at home around this time?
Itong si Jamie, gustong ma-meet ulit ang papa ko at kilatisin kung tama bang maging Team Walter siya all the way. She sounded so excited. Kulang na lang yata ay magpa-trend siya ng hashtag sa Twitter para ipakita ang suporta niya. She's making it look like a shipping war. Sino raw ba ang pipiliin ko? Ano 'to? Kailangang pumili ng ka-loveteam?
Si Alistair naman, gustong kumustahin ang papa ko. They last saw each other at my dad's birthday celebration which didn't end well, thanks to that failed assassin. My family and his family are quite close kaya hindi na ako magtataka kung gusto niyang salubungin si papa.
Worried ako na baka gabihin ang dalawang 'to sa kanilang pag-uwi. Una sa lahat, walang kotse na dala si Alistair dahil nabangga niya ito sa puno. We had no one to thank but Stein Alberts for that inconvenience. Papunta nga rito sa apartment, nilakad lang namin mula sa campus.
Kung walang sasakyan si Alistair, paano makauuwi ang dalawa? Jamie suggested na baka pwede silang makisabay sa amin ni dad. I'm okay with the idea dahil paniguradong kasya kami sa loob ng kotse. Alistair could be in the passenger's seat while Jamie and I could share the backseat with my dad.
But if that was inconvenient on my dad's part, magko-commute na lang daw silang dalawa pauwi. Medyo may pangamba ako lalo't malapit nang gumabi. In response, Alistair assured me na sasamahan niya si Jamie para masigurong ligtas siyang makauuwi. Jamie was surprised to him being the usual gentleman that he is. As always, he never fails to impress us.
"We'll find out the result in a few days," Loki spoke as he got out of his room. Imbes na umupo, nanatili siyang nakatayo at palakad-lakad sa likuran ng couch na kinauupuan nina Jamie at Alistair. "I already gave the blood samples to my dad's bodyguard and asked him to expedite the testing. If we're lucky, we'd know the truth two or three days from now."
Mas mabuti na siguro kung agad kong malalaman kung si Sir Rich nga ang ama ko para hindi na humaba pa ang anxiety ko. The longer this mystery gets dragged on, the more bothering it was for me. Imagine the stress that I'd go through thinking all day and night if he's the one.
Ang tanong: Handa na ba akong tanggapin kahit ano ang kalabasan ng DNA testing?
Handa na ba akong malaman ang katotohanan?
Handa na ba akong madismaya kapag nabasa ko na 'yon?
Ano ba ang dapat kong i-expect na resulta? Honestly I don't know. A part of me wants to believe that Sir Rich is my dad, but I hope he's not the third party as Alistair alleged. The other part of me rejects the possibility of him being my dad if he's the third party.
But what if it's both? How would I react to it? That's the million peso question.
"Naibigay mo na agad sa kanya ang sample?" tanong ko. I didn't see him talking to anyone since we left the campus and got back in our unit.
"Munroe came here to pick up the samples while you were taking a bath," he answered. "I also gave him the three books that Friedrich gave you. I asked him to run the fingerprints in the NBI database and see if there's any hit. He still has contact with people inside the bureau so it won't be a problem."
Pansin ko lang. Ever since he opened the idea that Sir Rich might be related to me, he's been getting his name right, but without the "sir." Kung may ibang makarinig sa kanya, iisipin nilang wala siyang respeto sa isang teacher. Why did he drop the title anyway?
"You want to know if Sir Rivera has a criminal record?" Alistair asked. "You want to be that thorough?"
"If he is Lorelei's dad and he wants to be part of her life, we need to make sure that she is in good hands," Loki explained, turning to me. "Do you want our dear friend to be raised by a criminal?"
Hindi ko maiwasang ma-touch sa kanyang concern. He didn't have to go that far, but he insisted. What could I do except appreciate his efforts?
"Sana'y wala nang plot twist itong paghahanap natin sa real dad ni Lori," sambit ni Jamie na may kasamang buntong hininga. "Halos dalawang dekada kayong nawalay sa isa't isa tapos malalaman mong hindi pala siya gano'ng kabuting tao? Parang napakasaklap."
I feel the same, Jamie. With regards to my parents, I've been through too much already. My dad's coldness toward me. My mom's shocking infidelity. My real dad's mysterious identity. Hindi ba pwedeng simple lang ang maging conclusion nito at wala nang dagdag na layers? Don't I deserve that happiness and satisfaction?
Well, if fate had something in store for me, then so be it. Wala naman akong magagawa kundi harapin ito. I would take whatever fate throws at me.
"Your daddy will be here in twelve minutes!" bilang ni Jamie sabay tingin sa orasan. Parang gusto niya pang magkaroon kami ng countdown, ah? "How are you feeling right now?"
"Of course, I'm excited... and happy," I answered, smiling while looking down. Those were the first words on top of my mind. My smile then turned into a frown when I remembered something grim. "And nervous... and worried."
"Ano ka ba? Natural lang na nerbyosin!" Jamie was dismissive in her tone. Well, she had no idea what caused my worries. "Kung istrikto ang papa mo, talagang kakabahan ka, 'di ba? He gave me the vibes na gusto niyang perfect ang magiging dining experience n'yo. You know, rich people problems? Dapat maayos ang pagkakahawak mo sa spoon and fork. Dapat walang ingay sa plato habang kumakain."
Kumunot ang noo ko sa kanya. That's the least of my concerns. My dad may look strict, but he's not particular with table manners and dining etiquette. Ni wala nga siyang pakialam doon. Basta't walang pang-i-iskandalo habang kumakain, wala siyang masasabi.
"I'm worried about his health." I sighed, raising my eyes at them. Muli ko na namang naalala ang nangyari sa loob ng kotse kahapon. "Remember what I told you? He looked paler than usual when I met him yesterday. May iniinda pa rin siyang sakit sa part malapit sa liver niya."
"Have you talked to him about his condition?" Alistair asked with concern.
Marahan akong umiling. "I called him last night para kumustahin siya. Nakainom na raw siya ng painkillers at mas mabuti na raw ang pakiramdam niya. I thought of asking him kung ano ba talaga ang lagay niya. Pero mas mabuti siguro kung personal kong itatanong sa kanya mamaya."
Whether on phone or in person, he could easily deflect my question by dismissing my concern as unnecessary worry. But at least, if I talked to him personally, I would have a chance to observe his facial expressions and body gestures to see if he's hiding anything to me. I have to make good use of what I've learned in the QED Club.
Nabura ang ngiti sa mga labi ni Jamie habang naging seryoso na may halong pagkabahala ang itsura nina Loki at Alistair. Kanina'y halos mag-celebrate kami. Ngayo'y parang may masamang balita akong ibinahagi sa kanila.
"I don't want to dampen the mood," Loki spoke after I took a pause. "But have you considered the possibility that he might be seriously ill that's why he's trying to make up with you? If he doesn't have more time left on this earth—"
"Loki!" Alistair called him out.
"That's alright, Al." Bumuntong hininga ako. Lalo yatang magiging malungkot ang mood dito.
"Let's face the realities of human relationships," Loki said. "The only time that a person—whose beliefs are as firm and solid as a rock—takes a hundred and eighty degree turn is when they are confronted by an earth-shattering truth. One of those truths is death."
Was he thinking that that possibility did not cross my mind at all? Of course, it did. Ayaw kong i-entertain ang idea dahil masakit para sa akin na isiping mawawala siya sa buhay ko. The thought alone scares me. What more kung magkatotoo nga? He may not be the best dad in the world, but I still respect him to a certain degree. I've got to give him credit for trying, especially now.
"We don't know your dad's real condition," Loki went on. "But if we were to assume that his health is deteriorating, that explains perfectly why he's taking the effort to spend time with you. He wants to make things right."
"Or maybe he has realized that he wants to bond with Lori more. However, around the same time as his realization, he also found out that he isn't feeling very well," Alistair added. "But let's not assume too much, okay? We still don't know kung ano ba talaga ang kondisyon ng kalusugan niya. He can be as healthy as a horse, for all we know."
I sincerely wish his health is okay. Kung sa tingin niya'y may pagkukulang siya sa akin, may pagkukulang din ako sa kanya—kahit gaano pa kaliit 'yon.
"Whether he's feeling seriously sick or not, I'm gonna enjoy these moments with him," naluluha kong sagot. I sniffled as I tried to hold back my tears. I shouldn't be feeling this way, right? I should be happy! "He's trying to mend our relationship. I want to appreciate him for that."
The room fell silent for a moment. Mabuti't hindi natuloy ang pagpatak ng mga luha ko. This was supposed to be a joyous evening with me and my dad enjoying it together.
"Huwag n'yo ngang paiyakin si Lori!" SI Jamie na ang bumasag sa katahimikan. Nilapitan niya ako, niyakap at hinaplos ang aking likod. "Ang importante, masulit nilang dalawa ang time na magkasama sila. That's what matters right now! May sakit man o wala ang papa niya, walang makapagsasabi kung kailan ang oras natin. The best we can do is to live in the moment and treasure these precious memories!"
"Thank you, Jamie." I sniffled again, wiping the tears welling up in my eyes.
Niyakap niya ako nang mahigpit. I felt the warmth of her embrace. Patuloy pa rin ang paghaplos niya sa likod ko. "Please enjoy your night, Lori. Take photos with your dad kahit mukhang hindi siya mag-i-smile sa camera. Huwag ka munang umiyak. Masisira 'yang make up mo."
I hugged her too. "Don't worry. Hindi naman ako naka-make up."
"Ay, wow!" Kumalas na siya sa kanyang yakap sa akin. "Sabagay, clear at glowing ang skin mo. 'Di mo na kailangang mag-effort masyado. Huwag ka nang sumimangot diyan. Smile! Flash your white teeth! Nag-toothbrush ka naman, 'di ba? Wala ka namang tinga siguro, 'no? Good!"
Natawa ako habang ini-stretch niya ang mga labi ko hanggang sa halos mapunit ang mga 'to. Salamat sa kanya, medyo gumaan ang pakiramdam ko. She knew when to make light of a serious situation.
"Huwag muna tayong mag-usap ng mga depressing na bagay, okay?" sabi ni Jamie sabay harap sa dalawang lalaki na kasama namin. May itinuro siya sa kanila. "I'm talking to you, Loki dear! Ikaw kaya ang may pasimuno nito."
Loki lazily threw his hands up in the air. "My fault. Sorry for trying to offer a realistic explanation on why this is happening—"
"Loki dear!"
"Okay, I'm gonna shut my mouth now and pretend that I don't exist." Ibinaba na ni Loki ang kanyang mga kamay at napaurong sa likuran ng couch.
"So..." Jamie rubbed her palms together. Nagbalik na naman ang mukha niyang mapang-intriga. "Ano sa tingin mo ang pag-uusap n'yong dalawa sa dinner? Coz I have an idea~"
My eyes squinted at her. Maging si Alistair, nagbato ng tingin na may pagtataka sa kanya. Loki ignored her completely. I'm guessing na may pagka-showbiz ang naisip niya.
"Last time, he announced that you and Al are gonna be engaged, right?" Jamie nudged me with her elbow. "What if he's gonna give you an update on the wedding preparations? Baka tatanungin ka niya kung ano ang preferred mong date para maiplano na niya ang wedding of the decade!"
Halos magtagpo ang mga kilay ko habang seryosong nakatitig sa kanya. Natawa sa kanyang upuan si Alistair.
"Jamie, that's been called off already. Nang nag-usap kami sa ospital, I told him to cancel whatever arrangement he has made. It's not gonna happen."
"Are you sure?" may pang-iintrigang tanong niya. "Baka sinabi niya 'yon para kumalma ka at humupa ang galit mo sa kanya. But secretly, patuloy pa rin ang wedding plans niya para sa inyo."
I shook my head repeatedly. Hindi ko alam kung saan niya pinanghuhugot ang theory niya.
"Come on, Lori!" she went on. Ayaw niyang papigil. "If I were your dad, I would also consider Al as a good choice for you, if not the best. He's one of the last remaining gentlemen in the world. He's an endangered species already. Kahit saan ka tumingin, halos f*ckboys na makikita mo—"
"Jamie," Alistair called her. He looked a bit flattered by the compliment. Even I would say the same about him.
"Ayaw mo ba kay Al, ha? Hindi mo ba siya type? Alam mo, Lori, baka pwede kayong dumaan ni daddy mo sa isang eyewear store para mabilhan ka niya ng salamin at luminaw ang mga mata mo—"
"That's not it!" sumingit na ako kahit ayaw niyang magpaawat. "Al has the best qualities that any woman can hope for. Walang debate doon. What I don't want is not him, but people trying to make decisions for me. Na-bring up ko rin 'yan kay dad kahapon at siniguro niya sa akin na irerespeto niya ang kagustuhan ko."
"You take Al, I take Loki. It's a win-win situation for everyone!" Parang wala siyang narinig, ah? "Our bond will go beyond our student life. Aabot hanggang sa married life nating apat! It's gonna be cool and perfect!"
"You know what, you should stop saying these nonsense—"
Ding! Dong!
Nahinto ako sa pagsasalita nang marinig ang pag-ring ng doorbell. The four of us turned to the door. Napa-check tuloy ako sa aking phone. It's already six-ten! Salamat sa mapang-intrigang tsismis ni Jamie, hindi ko tuloy namalayan ang oras!
"That's probably my dad."
Mabilis akong sumilip sa salamin sa aming bathroom at inayos ang buhok at damit ko. I studied my eyes in the mirror. Hindi naman masyadong namumula ang mga mata ko kahit halos maiyak na ako kanina. If my dad noticed, sasabihin ko na lang sa kanya na napuwing ako.
This is it. This is happening.
Huminga ako nang malalim bago ako lumabas ng banyo. Nagsiayos ng tayo ang mga kasama ko na parang may imi-meet kaming VIP. Jamie looked at her face on the hand mirror as she fixed her bangs. Alistair straightened his loose tie and collar. Loki, well, he moved a little close to the couch near the door.
Relax! It's just my dad.
"Go, Lori!" Jamie cheered.
Lumingon ako sa kanilang tatlo. Alistair showed me a thumbs up while Loki gave me a slow approving nod. Hindi ko naman kailangan ng cheering up, pero lalo akong nabuhayan ng loob dahil sa kanila.
Ding! Dong!
A smile quickly spread over my mouth and spilled into my eyes. Muli akong huminga nang malalim. Why was I feeling so anxious? There's nothing to be anxious about!
Nang ready na ako, hinawakan ko ang doorknob at mabagal na binuksan ang pinto. I swang the door inward.
"Good evening, dad—"
To my surprise, somebody else was standing by the door. His face looked tired and his lips did not return my welcoming smile. He was wearing a police uniform.
"Officer Estrada?" I asked. Ramdam kong napatingin din sa kanya sina Loki, Alistair at Jamie. I could feel their confused gaze from behind. We were all expecting my dad, but a police officer showed up at our doorstep?
"Good evening, Lorelei." Bumuntong hininga siya na tila mabigat ang kanyang pasanin. It must have been a long day for him.
"Hinahanap n'yo ho ba si Loki?" Lalo ko pang binuksan ang pinto para makita niya ang roommate ko na nasa loob. I jerked my thumb over my shoulder. "Nandoon ho siya. Gusto n'yo bang tawagin ko siya?"
"Hindi siya ang hanap ko," sagot niya. "Ikaw."
Nanliit ang mga mata ko. I was about to ask why, but I let him speak at his own pace. Baka pagod na siya ngayong araw kaya medyo mabagal ang reaction time niya.
"We... uhm..." What's with the hesitation in his voice? I kept on squinting my eyes at him. "We responded to a report at an intersection a few blocks away from here."
What?
"May isang itim na kotseng bumangga sa isa pang sasakyan. Akala nami'y driving under the influence ang dahilan. Chineck namin ang mga sakay nito. We found a middle-aged man slumped against his own seat. He was shot multiple times. Maging ang driver niya, namatay dahil sa tama ng baril. Ayon sa mga nakasaksi, isa 'yong drive-by shooting."
My eyes widened.
My jaw dropped.
My shoulder slumped.
My knees felt weak.
My legs trembled.
My eyes began welling up with tears.
My heart almost skipped a beat.
No, this can't be...
This can't be happening...
"We've identified the man. His name is Walter Rios. Your father.
I'm sorry, Lorelei."
q.e.d.
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