Haaaaaaaaaaaiiiii
So I lied. I didn't update after 5 votes, and I'm sorry.
This time, I'm not updating until I get 5 comments and 15 votes. Ha.
And you should follow me on twitter. I'm funny and I post spoilers @probnotmrspayne
Anyways, I'm sorry and I love you all.
“Niall, I-” I began, the second I walked through the door.
“Sarah, please.” Niall began, trying to hold back his tears. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I tried to push you to long term stuff, I really am. don’t know what’s meant to happen right now, what am I meant to say,I don't have the answer to this, I-I just have no idea. Louis said perhaps one of us should move out, and get some space. Perhaps that would be best” I
“Wa-wait, you’re breaking up with me?” I said, now not even trying to stop my tears.
“Sarah, I’m sorry, its jus-it’s just what might be best,”
“’It’s what’s best? Best for who Niall? Best for the band? Best for your douchebag management? Best for you? I bet you can’t fucking wait for Demi Lovato to know you’re single. Finally one of you would have a girlfriend management approve of. Good for you Niall. Good for you. I’m leaving. Give me half an hour and you’ll never have to fucking speak to me again” And with that, I left him standing in the hallway, stunned at what I had just said.
In twenty three minutes, you can watch almost a quarter of a football match, you can colour your hair, you can destroy a room and make it look like a person had never lived there. You can change the world, or tear apart someone else’s. And that’s exactly how long it took me to pack up, and walk right out of Niall’s life, or as he says it ‘get some space.’
I had called Harry, who was bringing his Range Rover round to pick my things up and take them to his and Tahnee’s house.
As I hauled my suitcase in one hand, and a duffle bag in the other, Niall was sitting at the kitchen table with red eyes and a bottle of vodka in hand. “Sarah, please don’t leave, I never meant to say those things, darling please don’t leave!” He said, sounding sincere, but then giving a drunken hiccup after he said it. “Niall, it was your idea. I’m sick of your shit. Fucking get off me!” I yelled as I pushed him backwards, knocking the bottle out of his hand, watching it smash into a million little pieces on the tiles did, and knowing that that is exactly what he did to my heart. Suddenly, Harry’s caller ID lit up on my phone, to let me know he was here to pick me up.
“Later Niall, call me when you think you’ve had enough time.” I said, not even daring to look at him, as I walked out the door, knowing all too well, that I may never be back.
As soon as I had slammed the door of Harry’s car closed, I broke down in tears. I had just lost the love of my life, the boy who I really thought I was going to marry one day. The one boy I had given everything to. And now he was gone. He had slipped right through my fingers, and now I had to pick up all the pieces and put myself back together.
The one piece of advice Louis gave me, the day my sister died, was this; “Sarah, never let yourself fall, because it take twice as long to put yourself back together, then it does to fall apart.”
And he was right.
*ONE WEEK LATER*
Louis and Harry had helped me move into my new flat, which was three floors up from Harry and Tahnee’s, and seven doors over from Louis and Eleanor’s, so I would always have someone to talk to.
Louis had informed me that they were going to be on The Ellen Show, as they had filmed it three days earlier. I flipped through TV stations until it started. The boys’ interview began, with generic questions and a comparison of Niall and Ellen that made my stomach flip the second I heard his laugh. Then she asked “So who here has a girlfriend?” Harry, Louis and Zayn’s hands all shot up, with huge grins plastered on their faces, before Ellen turned to Liam and Niall and questioned them briefly about the breakups. More generic questions, then a performance of their new single, then it was all over, and a news reporter with an awful Yorkshire accent began to read a list of something I wasn’t aware of.
This was the first interview that his relationship status had changed. Watching him say it, and explain it made it even more real, and I sat rigid on the couch until Tahnee had come over, and brought films for us to watch, predominately awesome action ones.
Halfway through the second film, she fell asleep and I got up to make us dinner, as I was doing so, I found myself humming along to the boys new single, Live While We’re Young. I stopped thinking about it, and begun the horror task of waking Tahnee up for dinner.
Three days later, and Eleanor was leaving to pick the boys up from the airport, they were getting back from LA after filming Ellen, and putting some final touches on the album. I’d also heard that Harry got more tattoos over there. I swear he will never stop now.
I decided not to go to dinner with the boys the night they got back, although Louis did invite me. I didn’t want to create unnecessary tension. Louis was already angry enough at Niall as it is.
Louis stumbled through the door at around 11:30, and hugged me like he never has before. I had missed him so much.
“I miss you big brother” I mumbled into his shirt as he hugged me.
“I miss you more little sister” He said, finally releasing me.
“Hey guess what I got you!” He said, his face lighting up with a smile. He pulled out a copy of their new album, and threw it onto my kitchen table.
I jumped over the couch and grabbed it, looking at what is was.
“Oh hey, thanks man!” I said, hugging him again. “So how’s it turned out?” I asked him, putting the kettle on.
“Quite frankly, I fucking hate it.” He said, taking a seat at the table, picking up an apple and taking a huge bite out of it.
“How come? It’s your album? Shouldn’t you be proud of it?” I asked, pretty much stating the obvious.
“It’s not a One Direction album, it’s a ‘Harry, Zayn and Niall album’ and it’s fucking pissed me off. Liam and I got the least amount of solos, we got the worst harmonies, and it fucking pisses me off”
“But why? I thought Liam was the first verse man?” I asked, putting on the worst impersonation of Liam I possibly could, which made Lou smile.
“Yeah well, as much as it hurts me to say it, Niall’s voice has gotten really good. He and Harry sound incredible together. But you’ll hear it soon enough” Louis said, “Don’t worry about the tea little sister, I’m off to bed” He smiled, hugging me and walking out the door to his own house.
The album was sitting in the same spot Louis threw it to, and I really want to listen to it, purely out of curiosity. So I crumbled.
I played it through my laptop, and listened intently to every song. When something really snagged at my attention:
‘Said I’d never leave her,
Cause her hands fit like my t-shirt,
Tongue tied over three words,
Cursed,
Running over thoughts that make my feet hurt,
Bodies intertwined with her lips.
Now she’s feeling so low,
Since she went solo,
Hole in the middle of my heart like a polo,
And it’s no joke to me,
So can we do it all over again?’
That was when I paused it, and couldn’t listen to any more without crying.
This song got to me so badly, because Niall had obviously written this. He had put little parts of our relationship into this song in so many places already;
‘Said I’d never leave her,’ yeah well you did.
‘Cause my hands fit like my t-shirt’ he had said how well we fitted together, my hand in his, my head in the space between his chest and his neck.
‘tongue tied over three words’ self explaintory.
‘cursed’ we never could do anything right, or ever seem to catch a break.
‘Now she’s feeling so low, since she went solo’ Louis or Harry must have said how awful I’ve been.
‘Hole in the middle of my heart like a polo’ I loved polo mints, and Niall always used to buy me them, and we used to play so many games with them.
‘And it’s no joke to me,’ Niall, who never can be serious and stop joking.
‘So can we do it all over again?’
What can I say? It made a nice addition to the album. Niall’s name was the sole song writing credit, so now the entire world will know how awful I was to him.
Fucking excellent.
GUESS THE SONG
'And all my walls,
Stood tall painted blue.
But I'll take them down,
Take them down,
And open up the door for you'