Auntie toasts the VRMMORPG

By Joan_Ninja_Hen

25.1K 1.9K 193

After Flora Fluss burns down the kitchen, her son insists she is too old to live alone. She's got two choices... More

1. Polyester Hats cook Dragon Eggs
2. To the new World
3. Engineering a Body - The Skeleton (Part 1)
4. Engineering a Body - The Skeleton (Part 2)
5. Engineering a Body - Ligaments, Muscles, and Tendons
6. Engineering a Body - Blood and Organs
7. Engineering a Body - Nerves, Senses, and Skin
8. Welcome to the Metaworld
9. Central Bank Robby
10. Banking and getting an AI
11. Nocks
12. Riverstones and Jerkies
13. Riverstones and Crafting
14. Animated Skins
15. Trick Beach
16. The Seven Masters Dojo
17. Potion Guzzler
18. Free-Running Workshop and Coffin Optimization
19. Trick-Animations
20. ToDo-List
21. Anti-Collision
22. Lawyers
23. Meeting Squad Four-One
24. Grinding XP
25. Martial Arts Mannequin-Routines
26. The Garage
27. Doom Moon - Part 1
28. Doom Moon - Part 2
29. Wing Tsun Advancement and Eddie
30. The Trail of Worlds
31. The Class System
32. Preparations
33. Doom Moon Second Attempt
34. Doom Moon 2 - The Sewers
35. Doom Moon 2 - Energymaster Flora
36. E21
37. Workshop Expansion
38. Robo-Melee Crafting
39. A new Lair, Charade and Books
Bonus Chapter: Genesis
40. Octopussy, Library and Stehaufmaennchen
41. Doom Moon 3 - Deja Vu
42. Doom Moon 3 - Escape
43. Doom Moon 3 - Conclusion
44. 3D-Printer and Class-Tree
45. Priesting and Smithing
46. Plans
X-Mas Bonus Chapter
47. It's a Trap
48. Robo Handler
49. Conference
50. Focus on the Focus
51. Fire-Flies and Fire-Tigers
52. The Virtual WS in the Virtual WS in the Virtual Reality
53. Elemental Classes
54. It's a Trap not a Turret and Hammering
55. Refining Metal
56. I'm the champion!
57. Cluster Short Circuit!
58. Unusual high-grade AI
59. Project Four-Hands
60. Robo-Melee Training
61. Robo Melee Training - The Battle
62. Tigressa Flamante and Ranking
63. Tidying up the Skill Tab and Mia's Batticle
64. Batticle Modification
65. Ready to sleep
66. Counting Sheep
67. Bulldozing and Super Mario Aunties
68. Building the Pyramid - Part 1
69. Building the Pyramid - Part 2
70. Building the Pyramid - Part 3
71. The Mini-Masters Lounge
72. Player versus Player - Lesson
73. Player versus Player - Matches
Chapter 74. Robo-Melee - The Arena
75. Robo-Melee - Battle Royal (Part 1)
76. Robo-Melee - Battle Royal (Part 2)
77. The Quality of Flowing Flowers
78. Technomancer
79. Prep Crafting
80. THE DUEL - ROUND ONE
81. THE DUEL - ROUND TWO
82. Doom Moon Four - Engines
83. Doom Moon Four - Patching
84. Doom Moon Four - Resolution
85. THE HERO'S ENTRANCE
86. The Sewage
87. Garbage Disposal
88. Garbage Disposal - Sewage
89. Garbage Disposal - The Alchemist
90. Wrapping up the Hero's Entrance
91. Temple Business
92. The Banquet
11.b In the Loser's Corner
2.0 Dear Diary - Recap of Book One Flora Style
2.1 Temple Cleaning
2.2 Temple Cleaning - Favorite Home Appliance
2.3. Temple Cleaning - The Burden of Proof is on You
2.4. Temple Cleaning - The wayward Pope
2.5. The Woes of Gods
2.6. Training Academy
2.7 Building a Training Facility
2.8 Building a Training Facility - Affinities and Abilities
2.9 Building a Training Facility - Boxes
2.10 Building a Training Facility - Construction
2.11 Building a Training Facility - Construction Part 2
2.12 BBQ Planing
Mia's Backstory
2.13 Teaching the Pebbles
2.14 Contribution Analysis
2.15 The Opposition is rearing their white Heads
2.16 Teaching the Pebbles - Part 2
2.17 Weekly Chat with the Goddess
2.18 Investigating the defiled Shrine
2.19 Dull Spoons
2.20 Stake Out
2.21 #CancelFlowingFlowers
2.22 Stake Out - Part 2
2.23 Stake Out - Part 3
2.24 Planning
2.25 Sweeping Blow Aptitude Test
2.26 SBAT - Attributes
2.27 SBAT - Attributes 2
2.28 SBAT - Attributes 3
2.29 SBAT - Weapon Talent
2.30 SBAT - Party Role - Ranged DD
2.31 SBAT - Party Role - Damage Dealer
2.32 SBAT - Party Role - Melee
2.33 SBAT - Party Role - Tank
2.34 SBAT - Party Role - Healer
2.35 SBAT - Effects
2.36 Animator
2.37 Animator - Part 2
2.38 Animator - Part 3
2.40 SBAT - Wrap Up
2.41 Breach
2.42 Breach - Part 2
2.43 Consolidation
2.44 Brain Boils
2.45 Healing
2.46 Spar Day
2.47 Riverstones versus Brooklyn Bouncers - Pre Game and 1v1
2.48 RSvBB - Tag Team and 3v3
2.49 RSvBB - 4v4 Relay and 10v10
2.50 RSvBB - 10v10 - Part 2
2.51 Training Montage
2.52 Achievement Hunt
2.52 Bonus-Material (as an Atonement for all the Thorn Cannons)
2.53 New Ride
2.54 Homebody
2.55 Homebody - Part 2
2.56 Real Life
2.57 AI History
2.58 Questing
2.59 Questing - Killing Production Line
2.60 Questing - Cavern of Squack
2.61 Questing - Rewards
2.62 Zauberberg
2.63 Elemental Caverns
2.64 Elemental Caverns - Part 2
2.65 Elemental Harvest
2.66 Babysitting
2.67 Entourage Selection - Meeting
2.68 Entourage Selection - Meeting 2
2.69 Analysis of the Shrine Attacks
2.70 Entourage Selection - Test 2
2.71 Entourage Selection - Result
2.72 Mia sleeps, Flora hustles
2.73 Holy Tolly
2.74 Speed-Run - Elemental Challenge
2.75 Speed-Run - Part 2
2.76 Relaxing, or at least attempting to relax
2.77 Nock Jam-Session
2.78 Crafting and Shopping Spree
2.79 Skin Carver
2.80 Last-Minute Grab for Goodies
2.81 Tutorial Tower
2.82 Tutorial Tower - Part 2
2.83 Tutorial Tower - Part 3
2.84 Tutorial Tower - Part 4
2.85 Tutorial Tower - Part 5
2.86 Remote Arms
2.87 Leveling Up!
2.88 Playing around

2.39 SBAT - Companion Administration

44 4 0
By Joan_Ninja_Hen


As Flora ran towards the testing facilities, waves of dizziness assaulted her. She shook her head and concentrated on the traffic. In the back of her mind, something nagged her. But then a flock of raptors snapped after Octopussy while passing her, and she got distracted.

"Don't eat my robot!" Flora said and slapped the dinosaur's muzzle away.

"Don't hit my baby chicks!" A guy riding the biggest raptor yelled back.

"I won't hit it if it leaves me alone!"

"It would have left you alone if your octopus didn't provoke it!"

Because Aidan was connected to the Octopussy, Flora was very sure that he wasn't at fault. Nevertheless, making sure you had your facts straight was a part of being responsible.

Flowing Flowers to Aidan: "Do you know what he means?"

"I'm very sorry, Milady. Aito asked me to check whether the feathers on the tail of the raptor were real or armor."

"Aito!"

*Beep?*

"Don't touch tails without the consent of their owner!"

*Beheheheeep*

Flora gritted her teeth.

"I guess I owe you an apology. I'm sorry for my robot's transgression." Flora said to the rider who dashed next to her.

"Haha, good that you realize who's the culprit." The big man laughed wholeheartedly.

Flora flipped one of the Mana-Spring Coins over to him. "Please take that gift for your troubles."

"Hey, thanks. That's a classy move, lady. I know everything about misbehaving pets, so I understand. Good luck." The rider sped away.

"I'm very sorry, Milady," Aidan repeated.

"It's okay, Aidan. Please learn from your mistakes. That counts for you as well, Aito."

*Beeeeep...* Aito sounded like a sullen teenager.

"And were the tail feathers real?" Flora knew she shouldn't encourage her, but she wanted to know as well.

*Beep! Beheheheeeep!*

Back at the testing facilities, Flora met her guide again.

"Very sorry, pardon, very sorry!" The fairy Friedhilde chirped while flying laps around Flora's head. "I received the result of the Direct Effects versus Effects over Time test. Here you go!"

***************

Summary:

Flowing Flowers has an impressive talent for managing damage over time effects.

However, her direct damage is so great that she will kill all enemies before the strength of a DoTs playstyle shows its advantages.

Therefore I have no class recommendation concerning the two playstyles because other aspects of the SBAT are more critical.

***************

Flora shrugged. She enjoyed the planning and the juggling of the playstyle, but she agreed with the assessment that this aspect wasn't important to her.

Next, she went over her Sweeping Blow Aptitude Test list.

1. Primary Attribute - Check

2. Weapon Talent - Check

3. Party Role - Check

4. Crafting Talent

5. Companion Administration

6. Single Target versus Area of Effect - Check

7. Casting Talent

8. Driving Test

9. Artistic Talent

10. Direct Effects versus Effects over Time – Check

"Let's do the Companion Administration next. I have questions after working with the golem and the actions of a certain AI," Flora said, poking Aito mentally.

The AI just giggled again.

Friedhilde guided them to a wood-dome.

***************

Companion Administration

This test has three phases:

1. Guide your companion

2. Instruct your companion

3. Fight alongside your companion

You may use your own or the provided companions. Please choose a companion with whom you can't verbally communicate.

You may skip or repeat any phase.

***************

"So no AI-controlled robots, hmm." Flora had no confidence in doing well in this test. Usually, Aidan administrated even her turrets, and Bliz regularly made errors while adventuring, probably due to her lack of guidance.

The dome changed to the same obstacle course Flora had conquered during the Agility test. Next to the starting line, four figures appeared: a panther, a zombie, a metal elemental, and an imp.

Just by looking at the zombie, Flora felt the urge to puke and toast it to ashes. His glistering guts were hanging out the stomach.

"Vanish the zombie, dear test, or I'll make a mess," Flora begged with her hands over her eyes.

***************

Okay.

***************

Flora peeked through her fingers and lowered her arms when she saw only three creatures.

The elemental was by far the cutest and smallest with the tip of his silvery head only reaching Flora's hips. He consisted of metal and had a shiny round nose and an impressive wiry beard.

"Terminator-Gimli?" Flora grinned. Although the elemental looked more like a lawn gnome than a dwarf, Flora felt her description was spot-on.

The imp was quite a bit taller than the elemental. He reached Flora's hip without the assistance of the gnome's headgear despite his crooked chicken legs. With leathery red wings, tiny horns, and a grin with too many teeth showing he was only a bit cute, but who was Flora to judge demonic beauty.

The black cat yawned, and Flora was sure it could eat the imp with three bites.

The obstacle course had a 2-meter high wall to scale. Flora trusted the imp and the cat to conquer it but doubted Terminator-Gimli or Bliz could do it. Then there was a net of wires for belly-crawling. Unlike Bliz, Terminator-Gimli had at least hands to assist with groveling and the ladder at the start of the course.

Flora considered animating a golem. Because it inherited her free-running ability, it might do well with obstacle courses. However, she wanted time to develop a nice model, and the rushed make-do constructions she had to create for leveling and the workshop vexed her.

Of course, the Octopussy could destroy the course.

"Let's give Bliz a chance." Flora sighed and summoned the icicle shaped elemental. "Can you scale these walls or the ladder?"

Enthusiastically, Bliz swayed back and forth.

"Alright, go for it, dear!" Flora was intrigued.

Bliz stormed towards the ladder and rammed into the first step.

Concerned, Flora readied a Healing Ice Bolt as the icicle flipped over, and her bottom part hit the second step. But then her top swung upwards to the third step and slid over it.

Flora gaped.

Swinging and flipping, Bliz moved up the ladder like a reversed climbing-monkey toy.

"Great job, dear!" Flora cheered and clapped while Bliz did a little dance on top of the ladder. "Go to the next obstacle."

Bliz arrived at a ditch filled with water and small platforms to hop on. She stopped and looked at Flora.

"Go on, dear." Flora encouraged her.

The icicle glided over the water, ignoring the platforms.

*hoot* The disqualifying siren echoed through the dome.

"Great start, but you have to use the stepping stones for crossing the ditch," Flora said. "Let's try again."

***************

Please, don't instruct your companion before the test. That's the approach for the second phase. Instead, use your link to guide it while it completes the course.

***************

"Ah!" Flora had an epiphany. "The guidance of the first phase should be like those mental nudges I give my AI's, right?"

"Probably, Milady," Aidan said after the test remained silent.

Mentally, Flora shoved Bliz back to the starting line. Below Bliz's enthusiasm and eagerness, she felt some confusion and doubt.

"Sorry, dear. That was a bit rough. You did nothing wrong. I'm learning to improve our communication over the link and overdid it."

The confusion vanished, and Bliz transmitted more eagerness, maybe even a smidge of sympathy.

Flora tested the connection by gently prodding Bliz to move left and right. The little elemental reacted promptly.

"Alright. Let's do this again! Oops!" Flora covered her mouth. "No more talking!"

The obstacle course was U-shaped, so Flora went to the middle. Here she remained always in the range of the connection without the necessity to move much.

Flora nudged Bliz in the direction of the top of the ladder. Bliz dashed towards it and crashed into the first step again. Even though Flora had seen it before, she still flinched.

When Bliz reached the top, Flora pointed mentally to the ditch.

This time, Flora conveyed to use the stepping stones. She felt insecure about the image she had transmitted. It was the stones coupled with a hopping feeling. Was she micro-managing the elemental? She didn't want to order how Bliz should conquer an obstacle.

The elemental was already on the other side of the water, so Flora dismissed the thought. Mentally, she drew a line over the wall.

Bliz rammed the wall and stayed attached to it. Slowly, she crept upward, leaving an icy trail. When she reached the top, she flipped over and landed on the ground.

"Next!" Flora exclaimed and immediately covered her mouth again.

Nonetheless, Bliz climbed over the second wall.

The consequent obstacle was the belly crawl, and Flora conveyed the feeling of passing under the wires.

Bliz answered her with an idea of her sliding. Her thoughts felt vague, tumbling, and of course, enthusiastic and were accompanied by a cool sensation.

It was the first time Flora received something different than an emotion from the icicle. She was intrigued.

The elemental picked up speed and went bottom first under the wires, gliding through the obstacle in record time.

Flora sends her jubilation through the link, and Bliz echoed it.

Next, Flora mentally sketched a line over the plank that led up to a boulder and down another balancing beam on the other side.

The plank led into a labyrinth with waist-high walls. Although Bliz couldn't look over them, Flora could survey the entire construction without problems. Gently, she guided Bliz through sharp turns to the finishing line.

"You did such a good job, dear!" Flora sprinted to Bliz, picked her up and whirled her around. Now, she felt much closer to the elemental than before the test. Maybe it was a side effect of telepathic communication.

Flora sat her down and patted her on the top. "Ready for the next phase?"

Bliz swayed back and forth, her usual signal for yes, but now Flora could feel not only her eagerness but also her consent.

***************

Phase 2

Instruct your companion for the next obstacle course.

During the run, you won't be able to communicate with it.

***************

While Flora read the message, the obstacle course transformed. Now it started with the labyrinth, then came the walls. The stepping stones had vanished from the ditch; instead, there where ramps at both sides of the water. The four balancing beams stood on the floor in a zigzag. Next came a tube, and last a cargo net.

Flora explained the challenges to Bliz, while the hyperactive elemental zipped around her.

"Repeat the steps to me, dear."

Flora received something like: "Zip, zip, zip zip zizzzip, thwup, hop, hopple di hop, hop, zishshhhhhhhh, swishhhhhhh, flipliplippydiliplip dip zip."

"Er... well sounds about right. You got that!"

And Bliz did. She zipped, dashed, and glided through the course like a pro. Only the ramps on the ditch gave her some problems, and the walls slowed her down−jumping wasn't her strength. Flora was most impressed by her performance on the cargo net; like a needle, she threaded upward through the loops.

***************

Phase 3

Undertake the obstacle course together with your companion. Either of you must hit three targets and don't get hit by the bombs.

***************

"Bombs?" Flora looked half panicky and half excited at the changed obstacle course. She spotted neither targets nor bombs but notified Bliz to stay alert.

The two females started the course by balancing over a swaying beam. When they reached the middle, a target face appeared. Flora nudged Bliz, and she shot icicles at it.

Just as they left the beam, Aidan announced that a bomb was incoming. Even though it blinked red and shrieked, Flora would have missed it because she was busy planning how to tackle the next target. On the other hand, her plan included leaving the current area, so it wouldn't have mattered.

<Riding the ice>

Flora imitated Bliz and slid feet first under the wires while the bomb exploded behind them.

The team conquered the rest of the course without an error.

"That was fun! Thank you, Bliz."

Flora said goodbye to the little icicle because she wanted to try out the other companions.

After she touched the imps head, she felt the connection to him. Instead of Bliz's enthusiasm, she sensed sharp malice.

"Don't be like that, little devil. We have a common goal."

Flora nudged him to move to the starting line, but the imp fought against her will and stood still. Only when Flora mentally shoved him, he moved.

"No, that won't do. Dismissed!"

Next, Flora connected to the panther. Leisurely, it stood up and moved to the line without haste.

Flora tested it further by nudging it to the left and the right. The cat complied but snarled at her afterward and immediately lay down again, licking its paw.

"Dismissed."

The metal gnome felt friendly and helpful but didn't show initiative, although he impressed Flora by using his beard as additional appendages when climbing the ladder. Hence Flora dismissed him after the first phase.

When Flora mused whether she should try out another one of her elementals or the golem, her gaze felt on her cooldown bar. Summon elemental had a 25 min CD, but she couldn't find it there.

<Summon Lightning Elemental>

A lightning bolt with several branches appeared in front of Flora. She rechecked her cooldowns, and the bar was still empty.

Grinning, Flora rubbed her hands. "Aidan, say stop when I summon an elemental with Bolt, an AoE, and a movement skill or Re-Generate or an elemental with two healing spells."

<Summon Lightning Elemental>

<Summon Lightning Elemental>

<Summon Lightning Elemental>

...

Flora happily spent the next minutes exploiting the zone. A few elementals met her conditions, but she didn't like their personality, so she continued summoning.

"Stop, Milady," Aidan said again.

This time a simple-looking bolt had manifested in front of her. He felt majestic and ready to strike.

"Hello, dear," Flora cooed.

The bolt flashed brightly, and Flora felt that she had his full attention.

The elemental demolished the course under Flora's guidance. He reacted fast and accurately. Like Bliz, he only needed a light touch, but he let Flora feel his displeasure when she gave him overly detailed instructions. He had a bit of an arrogant streak. Nonetheless, Flora enjoyed working with him.

**************

You gained an achievement: Companion Administration Record – Elemental

Reward: + 1 OV Summon Elemental

**************

"Do you want to join my team?"

Flora sensed a tiny reaction from him, the equivalent of a raised eyebrow. She smirked at him. "I'll show you my power."

<Arcane Spring>

<Lightning Storm>

As lightning bolts rained on them, Flora raised her other hand and made lightning arc into the sky.

<Lightning Arc>

***************

The lighting elemental Kaytsak has offered you his name.

***************

"Welcome to the team, Kaytsak." Flora grinned.

Flora had a container full of materials with her, so she selected a block of tier 1 stone. After she carved it up into the shape of a puppet, she raised her skill by chain casting Animate Companion. When she hit level 25, she assigned 15 mana, Energy Jump, Kinetik Stride, and Super-Over-Blown, the spell which increased your movement speed, to it−the perfect combination to crush a record.

Now that Flora had more experience directing companions, choosing the right amount of force to guide the golem came easier to her, although she still didn't like the micro-managing.

**************

You gained an achievement: Companion Administration Record – Golem

Reward: + 1 OV Animate Companion

**************

"Very good," Flora grinned and fetched an Octopussy from her inventory.

<Establish Connection>

Flora's grin widened when she checked her empty cooldown bar. "Very, very good."

She connected Octopussys to Aidan and Aito and summoned Kaytsak and Bliz. Then, she reduced the golem's expense to 5 MR/min to level the playing field.

"Dear elementals, in the next five hours these valiant Octopussys and the golem will do 500 laps on the obstacle course-"

*BEEP*?

Ignoring Aito, Flora continued, "Do you want to join their training? It's optional for ELEMENTALS."

Both elementals agreed, Bliz as enthusiastic as ever, Kaytsak warily.

*beep!*

"You are already complaining? You have at least two strands of consciousness. Let's give the other something to do as well. I expect results for at least three of my open requests."

*beep... beep...* Aito sobbed.

"Aidan level Animate Companion, Establish Connection and Summon Elemental as high as you can. You may buff Bliz and your own Octopussy, but don't go overboard. Dear test, please add some targets to the course."

After she made sure everybody understood the obstacle course, Flora installed her resting place in its center. She donned the Changing-Positions Gloves and strapped on another doll.

"May the best companion win an awesome prize!" Announced Flora loudly and added more quietly: "I have to think about getting something nice for the golem..."

One lightning elemental and one octopus glared at the hapless golem and took off.

Laughing, Flora logged into her workshop.

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