disclaimer: slight angst and kind of a dark chapter.
You thought long and hard about Tsukishima's words and as much as you want to deny it, he was right. You've only known him for two weeks, yet he had already figured you out like a puzzle.
For the whole month, you were... different. Quiet and as if you were out of it. Your assignments piled up on your desk and your grades have been dropping at an extremely concerning rate. You just couldn't find your groove anymore, and what's worse is that no one seems to care, even you. Not Aimi nor Arisu noticed how much different you were acting and it was a tough pill to swallow. Your parents still return home late as usual, around the time you are in a deep sleep. Most of the time they stay locked in their offices. So it's like you weren't living in the same household.
It was finally the month of June. A whole two months have passed. You returned home from school later than usual, nothing different. Except today was something unordinary. Your parents were home earlier than 12 in the morning, waiting for you in the living room.
"I'm home..." you called out, expecting your housemaid to reply. But as soon as your mother greeted you, you knew something was wrong. You were home late-- seven at night type of late but you thought it wouldn't bother anyone.
"You're home early," stating the obvious, you said as you brushed past her.
"We were called by your teachers today. Four of them. They said your grades were dropping," your father deadpanned and looked at you. Looking away, you let out a sigh and attempted to walk upstairs to your room. Hanabi-san watches, the concern in her eyes was clear.
"F/n." You rolled your eyes to the back of your head and turned around.
"What?" you impatiently responded.
"Explain to me what you've been doing these past two months. Have you been fooling around? Huh?" He leaned closer, his eyes glaring at yours.
You clenched your fist and inhaled. "And you care because?"
"F/n!" your mother tugged your shirt and locked her angered eyes on you. Furrowing your brows, you glared back at them.
"You can't keep this up. It's a disgrace. What do you think they'll say when the daughter of a politician had those grades? It's embarrassing!"
"Huh?" you let out an exasperated sigh. "Why can't you guys act like normal parents for once?" Both your mom and dad furrowed their brows at you.
Standing up, your father crosses his arms as you continued. "Maybe if you cared just a little about me then I wouldn't end up this way."
"But you don't."
"You don't care about me at all!" Anger had filled you up and boiled your blood. You ended up shouting at them, this time it was intentional. You wanted them to know how you felt, be it by voice or force.
"What? Do you understand what you're saying?!" Your father pursed his lips to contain his anger. Hanabi-san tried her best to calm both parties down, but your prolonged and bottled up feelings ended up winning over her.
"We're working hard so you could have the best life--"
"Best life? You missed my graduation, my birthdays and you guys were rarely there for me. What kind of life are you giving me? A miserable one? Because it's paying off."
"You guys don't even love me at all, huh?" You looked at each of them. It was weird. There were no tears that welled up inside your eyes. You don't even know if you wanted to cry or not. You were angry, and that's all that you felt.
Your father stomped his foot and angrily pointed at you. "How can we love you when you're being like this?! Your grades are low and you're messing around. Don't you want to be like your brother--" There it was. The words that made your eyes widen in shock and in pain. You were like a ticking bomb, waiting to blow up any second-- and after what your father had said, you were ready to blow up now.
"So I was right! You don't love me. You only love oniisama right? You only love him, right? You've given him love but I got nothing! Why can't you and mom be normal for once? Why can't you act like my parents?? Why do you only care about my grades? Why... Why can't I live happily for once?!!" Your voice shook as your anger escalated, tears were starting to blur your vision now and you were becoming nauseous.
"Enough! It's time to stop, F/n," your father demanded, but you couldn't stop.
"Enough? I've had enough of you all. I hate you. I hate each and every one of you..." You stormed off and locked yourself in your bedroom. It wasn't enough, you haven't released all of it enough. You wanted to break things, and so you did.
You threw anything you picked up in your sight: your books, your bags, your lamp-- everything. You screamed at the top of your lungs as your tears finally fell down your reddened face. Inside the house beside yours, Tsukishima notices your shadow as you went rampant. He zeroed in on your windows as he tried to focus. With eyebrows furrowed, he started to wonder what was happening.
He noticed you stop all of a sudden, looking down at your phone as if you were texting someone. And after a few silent moments, your window aggressively opened revealing you. Tsukishima flinched, you've started to become weirder and weirder as seconds went by.
You lifted one leg over the window sill and calculated the distance below. You were taking deep breaths until the blonde boy interrupted.
"Oi, what the hell are you planning on doing?" Tsukishima smirked. He had already opened his window to make sure you hear him. His lips turned into a frown once you shot him a glare. He noticed your eyes, it looked like you were in pain. Needless to say, it was his first time seeing that expression-- and it was his first time seeing you so vulnerable.
"OI!" He gasped as you courageously jumped out of your second floor. Your houses were the same height, and the second floor wasn't that high at all. You left the area unscratched while Tsukishima just followed your path in awe, dumbfounded at what you've just done.
"Sh-she's batshit crazy," he said to himself. Tsukishima pushed his glasses up with his finger after you disappeared from his sight.
"Tsk."
Something bothered him, and he hated the feeling so much that he dialled up his friend's number.
"Tsukki? What is it--"
"I need your help."
~
Meet me at the love motel.
These six words were your cue to do the unthinkable. After jumping out of your second story house like a lunatic, you walked to the nearest spot where you and your ex used to go. You just didn't care anymore. You wanted someone to talk to, to vent to, and most importantly-- you wanted to feel loved. So you texted anyone who you thought would reply immediately. It was your ex.
But this was definitely your mistake and it's saddening that you haven't realized it yet. Your ex, a boy whose name you had already forgotten, greeted you with a smile. His hand wrapped around yours as he opens the door to the motel. You looked up and hesitated.
"B-but why here?" you lowered your head and asked. Why in a love motel? Can't we just talk like old friends?? Can't you pretend to care about me a little? You wanted to ask these questions to him.
"Tch, what else? Come on, stop being hard-headed and go inside."
'Don't.' your mind was screaming at you. Don't.
"Let's just talk." You released your hand from his grasp and looked at him in the eyes.
"Talk? What do you mean? I didn't meet with you just to 'talk'," Your lips parted as you gasped. That was his intention all along, and you just realized it now.
"Then this is useless!" You glared at him and walked off. All of a sudden, you felt his strong force pulling you toward him.
"You're not going anywhere." He angrily breathed as you felt his grip tighten.
"Get off of me!" You pushed him away, but he retaliated and pushed you back so hard that your back slammed against the wall behind you. The pain made you fall down on your bottom while your palm scraped against a hard surface. You grunted as you looked up at him. 'This jerk.'
"Why are you being so difficult?!" At this point, you couldn't do anything anymore. You had no energy left after the fight with your parents. You couldn't let out a single word and you couldn't fight or argue back with your wit.
The boy raised his arm and appeared like he was going to hurt you, and the only thing you could do was expect the pain.
"You bastard." Tsukishima's familiar voice made you open your eyes in shock. You let out a loud shriek as his long leg pushed the guy so hard that he fell unto the concrete. You watched as your ex fell immediately with not even Tsukishima's full force. A mocking smirk crept upon Tsukishima's face.
"Sorry, sorry. My leg just had a sudden reflex. It does it when I spot disgusting bastards like you," he teased.
"What the fuck did you say?! I'm gonna beat your ass you fucking four-eyes." Your ex stood up, despite feeling the pain from Tsukishima's leg. He then attempted to throw a punch at him, to which he outmaneuvered and avoided quickly. You watched dumbfoundedly at it all happening. Your brain couldn't process the situation at all. What the hell did just happen anyway?
Tsukishima clenched his fist and shoved it to your ex's cheeks, delivering an impactful punch. You and Yamaguchi let out a loud gasp as the man fell unto the ground with his butt up in the air.
"You talk too much shit for someone who can't fight." He insulted the man who was easily knocked-out by him and laughed.
"L-L/n-san!" You turned your head around to see Yamaguchi running towards you. His face was all concerned and panicky that he couldn't completely focus on one thing. Yamaguchi crouched to meet you eye to eye.
"A-are you hurt? Did that guy do something to you? Should I call the police?"
"Yamaguchi, slow down."
"S-sorry, Tsukki."
You gulped as you stared at the two. They saved you... they really did save you. These two boys are people you rarely knew yet they still made an effort to save you. These were the two boys you had mocked yet they still... saved you.
"Thank--"
"Eh?! Your palm... It's bleeding." Yamaguchi lifted your right hand and turned it upside down. Your palm was indeed bleeding but you were too dumbfounded and shocked to notice. It was bleeding fairly bad, and you just started to feel the pain.
Tsukishima crouched and leaned one knee against the concrete. He held your hand and looked at your palm in concern. "Yamaguchi, get some alcohol and some gauze. Quickly."
"Y-yeah. I'll be back in a few minutes!" He reassured the two of you as he ran immediately toward the nearest store. Tsukishima continued to stare at your wound in silence. The tears that you've been withholding finally streamed down your face drop by drop.
"Thank you..." your voice was brittle and your throat stung. Tsukishima pushed his glasses and sighed.
"Why were you even out at night? And for Pete's sake, don't jump off the window. You nitwit."
It was strange. This time you didn't take offence to the words he just said. Just hearing his voice made you feel at ease. After the draining fight between you and your parents and this incident, you just wanted to cry. The tears just wouldn't stop flowing.
"Why can't they love me?" You asked with your head lowered. Tsukishima's eyes circled in shock.
"Am I really that hard to love?" Tsukishima's grip on your wounded hand became gentle. His expression suddenly softened upon hearing your pained voice. He didn't know what came upon him, but he gently-- ever so gently-- enveloped you in his arm. His warm embrace caused you to let it all out. You sobbed and sobbed, realizing how good it felt to be in someone's comfort.
Tsukishima was right. It wasn't the attention that you wanted. It was comfort and the feeling of having someone care for you that you desperately needed. You wrapped your arms around him, enveloping him into your arms as well.
Tsukishima didn't say anything: no witty remarks, no sarcastic replies, nothing. Instead, he let you pour your tears out and let it all happen.
Yamaguchi ran out of breath as he finally reached the two of you. He watched as his friend had you wrapped around his arm. This was his first time seeing this side of Tsukki-- and all he felt was awe. A gentle smile formed on his lips as he walked calmly toward you.