The Holidays. Christmas is coming. New Year. Happy times, family times.
Lonely times.
The days when I realize the most how extremely much I hate my family. How extremely much I hate them for everything they do to me. How extremely much I hate them for the things they don't.
When I was younger, this were the days when my dad got drunk and beat the absolute shit out of me. They were, because now I celebrate it at Rileys house.
Rayne hasn't got family that celebrates Christmas either. He's adopted. His "family" doesn't really sees him as "family".
But no, Christmas isn't only a time when I feel sad, depressed and alone. It's also a time when I realize how happy I am to have my friends.
To have Riley, Rayne, Chance and some others to always stick by me, no matter what happens. To take care of my bruises and damaged being.
To be there for me when all I want to do is give up. Just give up. Just leave.
Leaving seems so damn easy, doesn't it? Especially on days like this, when everyone is celebrating with their family's and all you can do is think about how you don't have one. Maybe you haven't got one at all, maybe you have one that doesn't give a fuck about you.
But think again. Because somewhere there will always be someone that wishes you a Merry Christmas or a Happy New Year.
Each year, on New Years Eve, I take a deep breath and think: Damn, Kyran, you did it again. You survived.
It's my night. I'm not only celebrating that a new year has arrived, I celebrate the fact I survived the last one. That I was strong enough to make it through another 365 days.
So think about that when you're alone, thinking about how much your life sucks. It might suck, but you're still here, right? You're still alive, aren't you? You're still strong enough to make it through each day.
Stay strong like that. Look up this New Year and smile. Just smile, even if you aren't happy. Smile because you survived. Smile because you kicked depressions butt.
Smile because you will kick its butt again next year.
- Kyran