Blocking Toby two nights ago did nothing to ease the annoying thoughts in my head. After asking him when our first kiss was, he rudely hung up on me. I just don't have time to deal with him, I need to focus.
So far, I've battled every hour not to call Whiplash and ask what the fuck is wrong with him. But I refrain, keeping my attention on this presentation I have in a few hours. Staying up all night from nerves didn't help, making me currently look like a zombie wearing makeup.
"Thanks for this, I tried to swap my shift, but it was too late. She said no when I asked her to take him to school."
Ewan hands me Jason's school bag, leaning his elbows on the rolled-down window of my white Mercedes. I'd been ignoring him too, until he messaged and asked if I could drop Jason off because his mum decided to be a pain in the arse, again.
"It's okay. Do I need to pick him up too? I'll be finished before three anyway."
He shakes his head, eyes everywhere but me and I nod, turning my engine on, making him step back. "Thanks again," he says.
"Um, Ewan?" I call out as he turns back to his work building, the small metal container next to the construction site. He's wearing old clothes, rigger boots, and a streak of oil marks down the side of his face.
"Yeah?"
The sun shines in his eyes when he reaches my car, leaning down in my window once more, his forest greens have specks of hazel, rimmed with a darker shade of green, completely captivating me for a long second before I shake it off. "Gabriella is away, and she usually fixes it, but the washing machine is jammed again. Can you do it?"
"Of course, I'll come by after work."
I smile at him, the young reckless boy I grew up with is nowhere to be seen, replaced with a man, a new and improved Ewan. But that doesn't mean I forgive him or even want anything with him. I'd like to be friends, I enjoy being around him even if it's for the wrong reasons, especially when I feel a void caused by a certain idiot. "I'll maybe order food in."
"I don't want to overstep, Aria."
I huff, placing two hands on my steering wheel. "You aren't."
"But... Toby?"
My eyes momentarily leave his, and I look at my lap, chewing on my bottom lip. "I ended things with him, you were right, he's too intense to deal with." The look on his face makes me fight back a smile, like relief washing over him, but he quickly glances away.
"I'll just come to fix it and leave," he tells me, stepping back from the car. "I'll see you when I finish work."
"Right," I reply rather snappishly, nodding at him as I give my best fake smile. You messed with his head too many times, idiot.
"Good luck with your presentation, you'll smash it as always," he continues, and my eyes meet his for a split second.
I put my car into reverse and drive away, not daring to give Ewan one last look.
Jason is in the back, headphones on, listening to whatever music he has downloaded onto his dad's old phone. He smiles at me through the mirror and I return it, driving him to the school entrance, saying goodbye, and making my way to the Buchanan Street Concert hall for my presentation.
______________
Peeking through the curtains lined along the side of the huge stage, I pale, seeing every chair filled, crowds of professionals waiting with notepads and pens, ready to take notes on everything I have to say.
I need a nervous poo.
"Okay, five minutes and you're on, Doctor," the stage director announces, fixing a microphone onto the front of my white shirt, tucking the small box into the back of my black pencil skirt. "If you need to take a break for water or a breather, just do it."
"Right," I reply, taking deep breaths. It's not that I'm not used to these, but this is the largest one I've done. I'm a confident woman, but right now I feel like I'm going to pass out and bring up my breakfast on top of this dude's pair of shiny shoes.
It doesn't help that Ewan messages me, telling me he's sorry but he needs to keep his distance from me, that he knows what will happen if he does stay after fixing up the washing machine. He claims he doesn't think he can do the whole back and forth anymore, which makes sense, we've been at it for years now.
I nearly blocked him too.
Swirling water around my mouth, I make sure my throat is lubricated and ready to speak for an entire hour. I try to remember certain notes and accept that I'm going to screw it up, unable to think straight, my palms sweaty, heart beating heavily in my ears.
The lights start to dim, and the presenter walks onto the stage, thanking everyone for travelling here and continues on to give an introduction about myself. How I earned my PhD in genetics and medicine, travelled to numerous hospitals around the world, in partnership with NORD, and many facts that make me even more nervous not to screw this up.
Straightening up, I concentrate on not tripping over my heels as I walk out onto the stage, the clapping from the crowd easing me somewhat as I give them a wave, shaking hands with the presenter before standing beside a large projector.
"Thank you everyone for coming today, as you already know, my name is Doctor Aria Miller. I'm the head of the genetics departments around Greater Glasgow and Clyde. I'm currently based out of Yorkhill Children's Hospital."
I watch them all, keeping eye contact, and my heart starts to race. I turn to the screen, raising the controller to change the slide, showing a double helix spinning.
"Today I'm here to talk to you all about a rare disorder called Ribose-five-phosphate isomerase deficiency, or RPI deficiency for short." Clicking the next screen, I continue to explain the disorder, how only three people in a twenty-seven-year period have been diagnosed, how it affects the body, and how it's diagnosed.
I show them my recent finding; it's currently the rarest genetic disease in the world that's been recorded.
"This autosomal recessive disorder has no treatment, nor does it have a prognosis because it's so rare."
I scan the crowd as they all write down notes, some nodding, some chewing their pens, and some on their phones paying no attention. Those are the ones I want to launch this controller at, scold them for wasting my time when someone else could be here in their place and actually learn something.
"Does anyone have any questions at the moment?" I ask, several hands raising. I accept a few questions, one nearly making me lose my shit when he points out that I have a spelling mistake on one of my slides. I smile at him and nod, memorising his face so I can dream about murdering him later.
Before I can turn to continue, one more hand raises, and I need to focus my eyes to see all the way to the back. With the blood draining from my face, I drop the controller on the ground with a loud thump that echoes throughout the hall.
What the fuck? I mouth, my lips parting more each passing second before shaking off my shock.
"Yes?" I ask the person to speak up, gulping down a large, painful lump as Toby stands from his seat, straightening out his tie, dressed in a fitted dark grey suit and white shirt.
I want to run off this stage, slap him hard across the face, and tell him to fuck off. I also battle against my hormones, the mere sight of him igniting something deep within me.
"Am I correct in saying that only children have been diagnosed with this disorder, Doctor?"
With my nails digging into my palm, I nod, struggling with my words. "That's... That's right. Only children and teenagers have been diagnosed with this... so far."
He takes his seat, a smirk plays on his face as I try to pull my eyes away from him, a fire building in me and I'm not sure if it's the good or the bad kind.
I lift the controller from the ground, changing to the next screen, sweat now coating my forehead. "Um," I mumble, losing my position and words, my head scrambling. Turning to the crowd, I try to regain some sort of composure, all the people waiting for me to continue. I push my glasses up my nose, taking short breaths to make sure I appear calm, but inside I'm spiralling. "We're going to take our break now and we will continue." I look down at my watch, putting on my fakest smile when I lift my head back up. "Twenty minutes."
I rush off the stage, my mind whirling as a large hand pulls at my arm, dragging me straight into an empty room full of printing machines and paper. "What's wrong? You were doing so well."
Toby's icy blue eyes are burning into me, his brows furrowing, and I fight back the urge to slap him for nearly messing up one of the most important presentations I've ever done.
I'm still trying to process that Toby is standing in front of me, the dickhead who keeps fucking with my head. It's taking everything for me not to hike my leg up and knee him in the balls. I growl down at his hand on my arm, his thumb stroking up and down over the white material of my shirt.
"Why the fuck are you here?" I snap at him with a venomous tone, whacking his hand off me and crossing my arms. "And how did you know where my presentation was?"
He shrugs, tilting his head at me scowling at him. He narrows his eyes, looking lost. "Why are you so mad? Gabriella told me you'd be here. I thought you'd be happy to see me."
"Gabriella? Oh, yeah... I forgot you somehow have her number now," I mutter, tossing my eyes up to show my frustration before directing them to the door he's shut, nodding once at it. "You can fuck off now."
"Yep, you're mad," he huffs, standing back and pushing his hands into his pockets.
"I'm mad?" I raise my voice, pointing to my chest. "You have the nerve to interrupt me today of all fucking days, and for what, Toby? Why are you even here?"
"I want you to... no, I need you to understand me. I can't do that over the phone."
If I wasn't seething with rage right now, I would hug him, tell him that I missed his annoying face and kiss him until my lips feel raw. But I don't, I growl at the wanker until he gives me a reasonable explanation. He stands in front of me looking deflated, confused, and if anything, hurt by my reaction.
"I missed you, Aria." He steps forward so he's close to me once more, his aftershave filling my nose, and I feel my anger starting to fade away, especially when the corners of his lips curl up, his dimples deep, hands gently touching my folded arms. "I wanted to explain myself in person, but you blocked me before I could tell you that I'd come to Scotland."
Delicately, his knuckles tip up my chin so I look at him, his hot bursts of breath hitting my face. I blow out my cheeks, snarling at him. "Don't ask me questions again, sit down and stay quiet. We can talk afterwards then you can leave, got it?"
"Crystal clear," he replies, leaning down so his forehead rests on mine, my heart racing to an unhealthy pace, trying to regulate my breathing so I don't show him that he affects me in ways I wish he didn't. "You look beautiful, by the way."
I run my tongue along my lips to wet them, looking away from his intense gaze. "Thanks." I move as he tries to lean in further, dodging his kiss. He huffs, dropping his hands to his sides and stepping back. "I need to go back on. Don't piss me off, Toby. This is important to me."
He lifts both hands, eyebrows raising. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."
Toby follows behind me, splitting when I reach the stairway to the front stage, giving me a look over his shoulder, telling me that I've got this.
He disappears back to his chair as I take the stage once more, my eyes occasionally falling on him when I lose my thoughts, his nodding and proud facial expressions give me the confidence to wing the rest, ending the presentation with the crowds standing and clapping as I walk off.
Once I'm no longer attached to wires, I throw cold water over my face in the bathroom, staring at the mirror, intently watching my tired-looking reflection gazing back at me.
I'm not even sure what to say to Whiplash, and despite my inner, very well educated self screaming her head off at me, I dry my face and hands, fix the tendrils of blonde down the sides of my cheeks, letting sheer curiosity get the best of me. I head outside to meet a handsome, smart-looking Toby, a full backpack in his hand.
"Ready?"
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I'M DYING TO POST THE NEXT, BUT I'LL WAIT UNTIL MOST OF MY READERS HAVE CAUGHT UP.
I'LL BE READY TO HEAR YOUR THEORIES AT THE END OF IT!!!
^ Caps for dramatic effect.
I also made a short video for this book, it's on my IG - darkxromantic