Ben had lost count of days since he was in that cell. And now he was dreaming again.
In fact, it has been the dreams that have held him alive those past days. Some were about Rey, some were memories from his childhood. But one morning, when he was on the verge of waking up, a completely different one hit him in his sleep.
He was walking slowly on a battered path, deep into some woods he had never known, never seen. And he was all alone, except for the thin branches that seemed to be whispering around him.
The forest was quiet, save for the low rustle of leaves above his head. A strong golden gleam was protruding through the thick green layer, and splashed the earth path that stretched in front of him in different shades.
He cast his gaze across the vastness of trees. So much green… And the thought of green drove his mind somewhere else, to someone he dearly loved. She would love a home in this place. And it is quite similar to Takodana.
A leaf crumbled under his foot as he stepped on it, and even that was too much for that peaceful silence. Then something drew his attention: a blue butterfly began flapping its wings from somewhere in the confines that bordered the path, and flew directly to Ben.
His dark brown eyes watched with curiosity as the blue thing was coming closer and closer to him. He had never known that butterflies could be that friendly, and another memory from childhood occurred to his mind. Back then, he used to see those kind of insects very often. But whenever he tried to touch them, they would fly away, as if he were their enemy, as if they sensed a danger in him.
But now I’ve changed, a voice inside his head reminded him.
Slowly, he reached out his hand, palm flat, facing the sky. And wonder of wonders, the tiny thing settled on his fingers, flapping its frail wings.
Ben couldn’t hold back the smile of contempt that tried to push its way out. The butterfly he had been trying to chase as a child was not afraid of him anymore. And he didn’t even force it to come to him, it did willingly.
It rested there some moments, and Ben felt as if a deep conversation passed between them. It was like an apology from Ben, and acceptance from the little being.
Then he watched as it took flight, circling slowly in the air before his eyes. And that loneliness took over again, when the butterfly became no more than a bright spot against the greenery.
His paces brought him on. Until a strange yet known voice drew his attention.
“There is no light without the Dark.” Its rang was clear and strong in his ears. From everywhere, and from nowhere.
The same voice he had heard when he was back in the Crystal Caverns with Rey. He did and did not know what it meant.
His present self had no idea. But his self from the future did.
He turned his head this way and that, confused. Why was he so alone? What was he supposed to do? Was something good happening? Or something bad?
He only knew the answer when another voice spoke, this time from his left side. “Ben…” It called him. And he knew that thin and gentle timbre at once.
“Rey?” he responded her call before he tore through the grass and branches and leaves splayed on the ground, among the trees, following the path where her sound had come from.
He stopped in the middle of a clearing to catch his breath. It was ragged from great anticipation, and his heart was racing. He didn't know what it was, but he knew it was good. He could feel love, and a feeling long forgotten... Home.
Eagerly, his head turned frantically from left to right, and then again, from right to left. He had heard her, he was sure about that. His eyes scrutinized the trees, the small branches. But he was still alone.
"Ben." he heard again. And this time, the voice did not belong to Rey, but to a man.
Ben knew that voice, too. And he knew exactly what to expect when he turned his head around, followed by his body.
It was the force-ghost of his grandfather, Anakin Skywalker. His face radiated with love and contentment as he looked upon his grandson with a smile.
And Ben wondered; why could he see a force ghost? Was he dead? And if he was, why did he hear Rey's voice? Was she dead too? He didn't even get to truly confess to her...
But his grandfather seemed to be looking at him as if he had won a prize. Ben instead did not know what to feel. Should he feel ashamed of what he had done in his life? Should he be happy? And if yes, then why? What had he done so significantly?
Then, another two Force-ghosts appeared on each side of Anakin. His mother and his uncle. And next to her, the memory of his father.
"Mom?" and he made a pause, before asking again, with even more wonder. "Dad?" his voice quivered. "What is happening?"
She smiled at him. Her dark brown eyes bore a love so deep, it shook the heart within him.
"You did great, my child." She said. "The balance is now restored due to you and to your other half in the force."
And he knew she was reffering to Rey. As if guided, his eyes snapped right to her.
She was standing next to Leia, yet her body was neither bluish, not was it glimmering in the sunlight. She was solid and beautiful as he had always remembered her. And she wasn't alone; to her right side, there was a child. A girl around five years.
She had his unruly, wavy, raven hair and his dark eyes.
His kid.
And then he understood; it was a dream from the future.
Ben's eyes stung with tears as they rested for moments that seemed an eternity on the two of them. Rey and that little child, his family. His home.
"Mom... Dad... I'm home. And I'm never leaving again." his voice quivered. "Kylo Ren is not anymore, and has never existed." his voice faltered. I love you, he wanted to say. Yet he knew it would shatter him if he spoke. He was home. After all those years of wandering, he was finally home.
His mother... He had been waiting for this moment for so long, it was a burning desire in his heart that couldn't be extinguished.
"My son..." Leia's eyes brimmed with tears as she spoke, too stunned to move. The emotion was drawn tight between them, threatening to break Ben's soul apart.
His lower lip quivered, and he broke into a stream of silent tears and sobs. Then, another presence drew his attention. Rey, as walked toward him with confidence, and once close enough, she reached out, cupped his cheek. Her eyes searched his as she whispered his name.
"Ben..." and another stream of tears welled, streaking his cheeks. Her fingers reached out and traced his features; his brows, his jaw, his lips. Then her palm went down and remained on his shoulder. She placed her head on his chest and he wrapped an arm around her, closing his eyes.
He held her close and nuzzled her hair and forehead in return. Fresh tears of hers now wet his tunic, and he could feel her deep inhales against his chest. Raw emotion, anticipation...
"I love you...," and then, as his eye caught a glimpse of the sun that danced across her hair, he remembered, "...Rey of sunshine."
He kissed her forehead tenderly, and his lips remained there, caressing her skin back and forth softly, as she pressed hers to his neck.
Ben inhaled her scent. A scent of sun, of dreams and home and something more...
And then he glimpsed it: a mop of unruly black hair itching from behind his mother's legs...
Leia reached down a hand bordered by a blue line and stroked softly the little girl's head.
Her dark, piercing eyes found Ben's almost immediately. They widened with curiosity as she squinted at him, and he could sense a deep wonder coming from her soul, a big question.
Ben reached out, and as soon as he did, he sensed her Force-signature. She's strong within the Force... Stronger than me and Rey. Her gentle heart is made of steel and love.
Leia squeezed her shoulder, encouraging her to trust. Yet someone needed to show her the path, to assure her guidance. He knew it at once; he would never let his child go astray as his parents did with him.
So Ben held out a hand, and smiled.
"Dad?" the little girl asked, at first unsure. But then, as if she had always known it, she stole across the clearing, toward him and Rey. "Dad!" and this time, she was convinced.
Ben left Rey for a moment, and squatted down to be at the same level with his daughter.
As soon as she reached him, she wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her head there, as his palm cupped it and held her tightly against him.
He scooped her up and rose to his feet again, his other arm wrapping around Rey.
"Please, never be away that long." the little girl drew back to look into his eyes.
"I've always been with you, my Little one." he whispered in his daughter's hair.
"Her name is Jaina. Jaina Solo." Rey told him, before she kissed his jaw.
He hold them even tighter. As if he couldn't believe it was happening. As if the pain of not being with them was just too real. And as if he knew they could fade at any moment, and leave him there, alone. "My family, my loves..." he sobbed. "I'm sorry..."
But Jaina must have felt his hot tears sliding down her head, for she tilted her chin up to look at him, and reached out a tiny hand to touch his face.
Her gesture took him by surprise as Ben slowly opened his eyes and locked them with hers. His head nudged hers as he tried to place his forehead against hers, only that her little one rested somewhere on the bridge of his nose.
"My little child..." he whispered as he nudged her head, before kissing the top of it again.
His hand went up and stroke her hair. My hair, he realized.
"Yet how... How was that possible?" he frowned as his eyes lifted and met his grandfather's in the opposite side of the clearing, that watched the reunited family sharing those moments of love and affection. Watched his grandchild having what he couldn't.
It took Anakin a moment to answer. "That, only you will know. At the right time, with the right guidance. But beware, my son, for many mistakes can be made on the way to hapiness."
It took Ben a moment to process. He had never expected it to be easy. Yet it seemed so, now that he was finally able to hold his beloved family tight against his chest...
His eyes were now focused only on his grandfather, his mind had forgotten about everything else. It seemed that it was only him that could hear Anakin, all of the others were oblivious to it.
His piercing dark pools, that the sun made them look a lighter shade of brown, passed right through his grandfather's, arching like an arrow, begging him to tell more.
"A very thin line separates passionate love, from the fall to the dark side. And... Everything comes with a great price, my son."
Instead of enlightening him, it has clouded his mind even more. Yet he knew he did not have much time left, so Rey's kiss and Jaina's squeal of happiness brought him back to them.
He knew in that moment that he would protect them, would give up anything for them. His little Jaina brushed her tiny nose against his neck before she buried her face in it, wrapping her arms so tight, Ben thought she would choke him. He kissed her hair, and then Rey's, as it rested right beneath his chin.
He was with them, finally with them...
Until a drowned groan of pain that escaped his throat made him jolt awake.
~Thanks for reading! ~
A/N: What do you think Ben's interaction with the butterfly means? Again, this chapter gives great insight regarding his change.
It was something different than the rest of the story, this chapter. What did you think of it? Will the dream come true? Do you think they'll find a way to have both the love between them, and maintain a balance in the force?