"Lizzie? Aren't you supposed to be going to Hogsmeade?" Bonnie asked, poking her finger into my cheek. I groaned loudly, pulling my pillow over my head. She resorted to poking me in the fleshy part of my side, making me yelp loudly and jump out of bed.
"W-what?" I yawned, wiping sleep out of my eyes.
"Hogsmeade. You said you wanted to go." Bonnie tried again.
"Oh. Oh! Yeah! Yeah, just let me get up. Are you coming?" I asked, quickly getting out of bed. I ran to my chest of drawers, immediately hunting for something to wear.
"Er, no. I've been so many times now. Plus, I like to go once it's snowing. I'll come to the January one!" She promised. My shoulders sagged a little.
"Astoria?" I asked, looking over at her. She raised her head to look at me and shook it, frowning slightly.
"I know that Weasley usually goes. You could meet up with her." Bonnie offered, and I smiled. "Yeah, I guess so. I mean, it'll be fun regardless of who goes. I've never been." I said, deciding on a black turtleneck sweater, grey plaid skirt and black tights.
"Well, you better go. I know they leave at 8 sharp. By the clock tower!" Bonnie called, as I was grabbing a pair of boots and tearing down the stairs. As I neared the bottom, I heard loud voices in the common room.
Draco was sitting on the couch, with Crabbe and Goyle on either side of him. Pansy Parkinson, a pug faced girl with a very upturned nose and an underbite, was sitting across the lounge table from him, jabbering away about all that she was going to buy in Hogsmeade. Draco was saying nothing, not even making eye contact with her. As I came out of the stairs, all eyes went to me.
Draco stared at me for a long moment. Without breaking his gaze, he turned his chin slightly toward Pansy.
"What place did you say you wanted to visit?" he asked in a bored voice. Pansy's face lit up like a tree at Christmas time. I noticed that her cheeks turned very pink. She leaned forward eagerly and put her hand on his knee.
"Madam Puddifoot's! Oh, Draco, you'll love it. Not as noisy as the Three Broomsticks, not nearly as dingy as Hog's Head, it's absolutely perfect for a more intimate gathering." She squealed. Draco looked at me, finally raising his eyebrows ever so slightly.
He was sizing me up. He wanted to see how I was going to react. He wanted me to get mad, or rage like he had the night before. I would be damned if I showed any bit of emotion.
I completely wiped my face clean, and strolled toward the door. Pansy was still gushing about their plans at Hogsmeade.
"Sure, sure. Fine. Let's go." I heard Draco say, and I heard the sound of them getting up just moments before I slipped through the common room door. Once I was out, I made sure to have a very large head start on them. I didn't want to hear Pansy's high pitched squealy voice for any longer than was absolutely necessary. By the time I heard the common room door open again, I was halfway down the hall.
I reached the clock tower before them, and immediately spotted Ginny. She was lingering near Dean Thomas, another Gryffindor, and she smiled brightly when she saw me.
"Lizzie! You're coming to Hogsmeade?" she asked. I nodded, coming to stand beside her. Luna was there, looking around mystically at the arching doorway.
"Where's Blaise?" she asked, looking around me to the entrance way. I turned to look with her and saw Draco walking out, Pansy hooked on his arm. He looked at me for a split second and smirked, then looked away toward Pansy. I felt a white hot flash of anger flood over me.
"I dunno. Probably not going, I assume. I didn't see him in the common room." I told Ginny, still subtly staring at Malfoy from the corner of my eye.
We set off as a group toward Hogsmeade. I saw Harry, Ron and Hermione and waved enthusiastically toward them. They all waved back, but Harry looked less than pleased when he saw Ginny walking close to Dean. I looked back and forth between them, and I noticed that Harry's face was very much reflective of the way I felt. We neared them, and Hermione started talking from a few meters away.
"I remember our first time in Hogsmeade. I had my pockets stuffed to the brim. You'll love it, Lizzie. It's incredible." She said.
"Remus has told me about it. He said that they had sweets and joke shops there. I've also heard a lot of people mentioning some drink-"
"Butterbeer." Ron and Ginny said in unison. "That's the one." I said, pointing in the air. Just then, Draco and Pansy swept by us in a rush. Draco looked at me from the corner of his eye as he passed, but looked away and kept walking with Pansy. I rolled my eyes, willing myself not to sink to their level.
"Malfoy and Parkinson?" Ron asked, his voice filled in disgust. Hermione stifled a laugh.
"He took her to the Yule ball a few years ago, remember? I think they've been pretty on and off ever since." She said, and I felt my heart come to a full stop.
On and off...for years?
Suddenly, my insides were on fire. I was filled with such a blind rage that I could barely contain it. He had a girlfriend, and yet he was still asking for my help? He could have Pansy sitting for hours in the Room of Requirement with him! It should be Pansy who was fighting sleep multiple times a week just to hear him scream that it wasn't working. It should be Pansy who was falling asleep in the library because she had spent 8 hours looking up spells.
My blood was on fire. My eyes saw red. I bit my tongue hard from running up and hitting Draco in the back of his head. I wanted to stun him or blast him.
Calm down, Elizabeth. What would your parents do?
This was not the time for my inner monologue to try and talk sense into me.
"Isn't it wonderful?" Ginny said, grabbing hold of my arm. Almost as if I was awoken out of a trance, I saw the tiny village of Hogsmeade just a stone's-throw away. It wad delightful, with little shops that had thatched roofs lining the cobbled roads. There were already students there, most of the younger ones racing to Honeydukes. The bright colors of the shop windows and the smells of pub food overtook me, and my anger toward Draco seemed to melt away. There was a faint aroma of butterscotch in the air, and I had to keep myself from drooling.
"Come on, let's go to Honeydukes. You've got to try the treacle fudge." Ginny said, pulling my arm toward the brightly colored shop.
----------------------------
After hours of going in to each shop, we all ended up inside of the Three Broomsticks. I was sitting at a table with Harry, Ron, Hermione and Luna. Ginny and Dean had decided to get a table to themselves. The pub was filled with the sounds of people chattering, laughing and the door opening and closing.
Luna had offered to get us some butterbeer, but I declined. I had spent too much time in Honeydukes stuffing my face with as much candy as I could manage. I was almost feeling a bit ill, and was glad to be sitting down and resting. Luna came back balancing four butterbeers in her hand, and placed them all on the table.
"Harry...have you heard anything from...anyone?" I asked casually, causing Harry to look at me with a froth mustache. He wiped it on the back of his sleeve when Hermione laughed at him.
"Anyone as in...the Order?" Harry lowered his voice now, trying not to be overheard by any locals. I nodded.
"No, nothing. Mrs. Weasley said that they haven't gotten word about much. Right now, no news is good news." he said earnestly. I sighed. Remus. I worried about him so often it made me nauseous. I desperately wish I had his advice with things. I wonder how he would feel about me sneaking out of the common room so often to help with a very secret project of Draco Malfoy's. I wondered if Remus even knew who Draco was.
When I attended Ilvermorny, I had heard from Remus at least weekly. Now, it had been weeks since his last correspondence. The short message that came with my broom was the last I had heard from him. I had sent many letters with Squidge, and he hadn't brought any back. He was delivering them to someone, so I was hopeful that Remus was at least reading my letters. I mostly just talked about school, quidditch, my friends or how much I missed him. I was always very hopeful for a reply back, but I had stopped expecting them after the second week without an answer.
"I just wonder why he volunteered. He's never been the first one they called for missions like that. Why now?" I asked out loud.
"I-..I think it's because of Tonks." Hermione said quietly, and I recoiled back. Tonks? Remus would risk his life in a mission...because of Tonks? I was missing something. Hermione noticed my confusion and continued.
"I think he is doing everything he can...to keep his distance. From her." she finished, and suddenly it made sense. Everything clicked in that moment. He didn't want her to fall in love with him. He wanted to get away from her so that she would move on from him.
He would only do this if he didn't trust himself to be near her. That much I knew.
"He loves her." I whispered hoarsely.
"What was that?" Hermione asked, and I looked up and smiled weakly. "Nothing." I murmured.
Just then, Madam Rosmerta sashayed over with a pint of butterbeer and placed it directly in front of me. I looked at her in confusion. "Oh, I didn't order this." I said, quickly lifting it to hand it back to her.
But she was already shaking her head.
"Someone bought it for you, dearest." She said, throwing a wink at me.
"Who?" Ron asked, and my head swiveled around the pub. I didn't recognize anyone except for Dean and Ginny, and they seemed to be very focused on each other and not at all on me. No one in the pub was looking at me, so no one stood out.
"I can't tell you that. He came, bought that and left just as quick." Madam Rosmerta told Ron.
"He?" I asked, my voice rising a few octaves. The only boys I knew from Hogwarts were sitting at my table.
Unless...
There was no way. I refused to believe it. My mind raced over the possibility. He wouldn't have. He was on his stupid date with his even stupider girlfriend. He didn't.
"That's what I said. Good lookin' guy, too." She called, sauntering away. I turned to everyone at the table and they mirrored my confused expression.
"At least you got a butterbeer after all!" Luna said, smiling at me.
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I shook off the cold as we arrived back at Hogwarts. It wasn't yet a winter chill, but it was enough that our noses were red and our fingers hurt by the end of the day. Harry, Ron and Hermione had left early, so Luna and I walked back to Hogwarts together. I didn't want my day to end, so I joined my Ginny and Luna in the Great Hall for supper. Harry, Ron and Hermione were no where to be found.
All of our Hogsmeade trophies were laid out on the table. Neville Longbottom, a bit of a shy and geeky Gryffindor boy, gave me a chocolate frog because I hadn't grabbed one for myself. We all ate the turkey dinner and talked about the day.
"I'm still so curious as to who bought you the butterbeer. Think it was a student? It would be creepy if not." Ginny said lowly as everyone else talked over her. I shrugged my shoulders, swallowing my bite of food.
"I dunno, Gin. I doubt Madam Rosmerta would've allowed a creepy old man to buy me a butterbeer. She wouldn't have delivered it. So, it had to be a student...right?" I asked, suddenly picturing a large and hairy old wizard with missing teeth buying me a butterbeer. I shuddered at my imagination.
"I suppose you're right. Who though? Blaise?" Ginny asked, whipping her head around as if he would be behind her. I shook my head quickly.
"Impossible. Blaise had detention today with Professor Sprout. Apparently he made some comment about how stupid it was that they had to have an entire lecture on the Alihotsy tree." I said. Ginny pondered for a moment.
"I wonder if it was even someone from your house. Maybe you have some kind of secret admirer." Ginny said, nudging me playfully. I swatted her back, laughing in response.
"I suppose I do. I think I'm going to go back to my common room. I'm starting to crash from the sugar rush." I said, standing up. Everyone bid me a good night and I walked slowly toward the common room.
Silently, I begged for it to be empty. At the very least, I hoped that Draco wouldn't be in there. I didn't want to face him. After seeing him with Pansy, I still felt anger at the fact that he didn't ask his girlfriend for help. Mostly, I felt anger over the fact that I didn't even know he had a girlfriend.
When I entered the common room, the anxiety I had been feeling turned into dread. Draco was there, sitting on the plush green couch as he usually was. He was thumbing through a book.
But for the first time, Draco was not the first person that I looked at.
Pansy was leaning against his side, her shoes off and her feet kicked up on the couch. She was reading over his shoulder quietly, and every few moments she moved closer against him. I noticed that he would subtly lean away from her each time, but I was so angry I could hear my heartbeat in my ears.
Don't react. Don't react. Don't react.
Pansy looked up, her eyes glinting evilly when she saw it was me.
"Oh, look. It's the phony. Oi, Elizabeth. How exactly did you get into Slytherin, if you're a nasty blood traitor?" Pansy sneered, sitting up. Draco's eyes snapped away from his book and he looked at me intently.
Don't react. Don't react. Don't react.
I walked passed them, not speaking a word.
"What, you're ignoring me, blood traitor? Or are you even a pure blood? I mean, honestly. Your parents are d-" She was cut off by the stunning spell I had yelled. Pansy flew off of the couch, slamming into the ground hard. She didn't move at all.
Draco looked at me, his eyes wide in shock. He didn't say anything to me.
"She deserved it." I whispered, mostly to myself. I don't care what Pansy called me. She could call me a blood traitor, or a phony, or whatever else she wanted.
No one would ever speak about my parents. Especially not some disgusting girl who never knew them. I'd kill someone before I let them do that.
Draco stood up slowly, his eyes never leaving me. This was the first time I felt like the roles were reversed. Draco was looking at me with a sense of fear. I wasn't terrified that he was about to yell at me, or cuss at me. There was so much adrenaline going through my veins, I could've taken on an army of Pansy Parkinsons. Draco knew that.
Silently, before he could say anything to me, I turned around and walked up the stairs. Bonnie was stood at the top, her eyes so wide I thought they might fall out of her head. Astoria spoke first.
"What have you done?" She said in a low voice. She didn't sound angry or disappointed, just grave.
"She's just stunned." I said simply, laying down on my bed fully clothed. Suddenly, I felt like all of the energy was zapped from me.
"Lizzie, you attacked another student. I mean...Pansy probably deserved it...but..." Bonnie trailed off.
I knew what I had done. I knew there were probably going to be repercussions. It wouldn't surprise me a bit if I was kicked off of the quidditch team and I had to spend the rest of my Saturdays in detention. I probably deserved it. But so did Pansy.
"I know, Bonnie. I know. Can I go to sleep now?" I snapped, and I watched as Bonnie exchanged a look with Astoria. She sighed.
"I guess, Lizzie. Whatever. Goodnight." She muttered. She didn't sound angry with me, but she did sound defeated. A part of me felt extremely guilty for snapping at my friend, but I didn't have the energy to apologize to her. I didn't have the energy to apologize to anyone. It was taking all of my energy not to go downstairs and hex Pansy again.
I was sure by now, Draco had reversed her stun. They were probably running down the corridors, hand in hand, off to tell Professor Snape the horrible thing I had done. He would probably request a word with me first thing tomorrow.
I didn't care. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. The last thing that I saw was my mum and dad holding each other and smiling at me.