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"I do not trust you after knowing the truth." Zara said and then added,
"The way I got to know the truth, it scared me. But I trust myself and I trust my choice. I can't develop strong feelings for a wrong man. I can't let such man come close to me; not only physically but also emotionally.
I trust the guy who has raised his voice for any injustice happening to any woman, since college. I trust the guy who saved me from getting harassed. I trust the guy who plays guitar and considers small kids as his best friends. I trust the guy who has been raised by a single woman all alone. I trust the guy who made his twin sister strong enough to stand her grounds.
So, yes, after thinking about everything calmly, spending more than a year with you and knowing you for more than a decade; I trust myself and because of that I trust you to not go to this level for any revenge."
Zara answered in strong words and Kabir's eyes shined strongly with proud, happiness and he sent a prayer of thankfulness to his mom.
"Why were you bullied in your childhood Sunshine?"
Kabir suddenly asked and Zara got confused. What does this has to do with what they are talking?
When she didn't answer he asked again.
"Why were you bullied Sunshine? Why did people call you names?" Kabir asked strongly.
"Because my mother left me and my dad and they thought that I will turn out like my mother." Zara answered.
"And why did they think that you will turn out like your mother?" Kabir asked.
"Because I look like my..." Zara stopped abruptly and gasped and Kabir smiled.
"You look like your mother.
I knew who you were ten years ago... The day I saw you for the first time, I found your face familiar; so I noticed your admission form. From the details, I instantly knew that you are the daughter of my mom's best friend." Kabir answered.
And Zara gaped at him in shock, wonder and astonishment. She didn't know how she missed it. How could she not realise this? Of course anyone could know from her face that whose daughter she is!
So, Kabir knew from the beginning that she was the daughter of the woman who destroyed his mother's life and yet...
He observed her during college.
He helped her.
He felt connected to her.
After knowing everything.
"How can I blame any child for their parent's mistakes? How can I judge you for something that happened way before you were born, when I didn't judge my twin who stayed with Mr. Malik for ten years before I met her?
Parent's upbringing plays an important role in any child's life. True. But in the end we are the result of the choices that we make ourselves. Our experiences in the past form our personality.
Whatever happened in the past was between our parents. Why drag children into the mess their parents created in past? I will never want our baby to be in any of my past mess. I want to make the world a better place for our baby.
Then how could I be a hypocrite and drag you into the mess created by your mother? It never crossed my mind, even for a second to take any revenge on you.
The only thing that crossed my mind first time I saw you was, I have to do something to make this girl mine."
Kabir answered and with each word Zara found the feeling that she has buried long back, returning.
She was falling for this man; all over again. How can she not, when he talk so beautifully? His thinking is twisted but his thoughts are pure. He will hide things but he won't hurt her.
I have to make this girl mine...
She was always his. Just like he was hers...
Was she being emotional and rushing too fast? She didn't know but she did know that they both were ten years late. They were crazy about each other from ten years and have supressed their feelings for so long.
But then why hiding so much? Why did he pretend to be unknown to her when they met in the hospital one year ago? She needs to know everything before telling him anything about her feelings.
"Why did you react that way when we met in the hospital one year ago? Why did you hide so much? You knew my feelings about you, yet you played as if you don't have any idea. You saw my inner turmoil, yet you didn't say anything. You heard me pouring my heart out and yet you didn't speak the truth.
Why Bir? Why did you have to make it so difficult between us? Why did you have to make me go through all that?" Zara asked in a strong voice, but was feeling emotional and this time she didn't even try to hide her emotions.
"Because you run away from me all the time! Every time you feel something about me, every time I come close to you more than usual, you run away and don't say that this isn't true.
You ran away in college. You ran after my surgery. You were running away from the briefing that day. You ran away when you realised you have serious feelings for me...
I was planning to finally introduce myself to you, the day when I joined this hospital. I was thinking to ask you out... and what did you do? You took the first chance to run away from me. And even though I knew something like that will happen because I know you so well, that doesn't mean it didn't hurt.
Why? Why do you think that I'm some celebrity that needs to be worshipped? Why do you that I'm a distant star that needs to be gazed but can't be reached?
Why do you think that you are not worthy enough for my attention when my entire world revolves around you?
The day I entered the hospital, I had some idea of what will happen and by then I have started understanding your thinking process too.
I have to make you love yourself, before you start loving me. I have to make you realise that you are strong before making you fall in love with me.
Because contrary to the popular opinion love is not blind. Being blind to anything means keeping yourself in darkness and love does not bring darkness, it brings Sunshine. I know that because I have felt that."
Kabir said and Zara looked at him shocked at his words and the indirect confession.
"So, to make my Sunshine, shine to her full potential, I started the hiding and manipulating. You might say that I'm making excuses and that my ways are wrong but that's Kabir's way and you have to deal with it.
And it wasn't bad too. We needed to start afresh without bringing the past between us. You have to know me for who I am, now. Knowing me means, talking to me, knowing my ideas, opinions and personality without any bias and so did I before we could commit ourselves to each other. It was like a normal relationship minus the past baggage.
Yes, I did lie and manipulated the situations to come closer to you but then there was no other way. If I asked you for a date directly you will become so much conscious. I tried my best to erase your nervousness and insecurities through our dinners or dates. You can call them whatever you want, the name does not matter.
What is the intention of taking someone on date? Getting to know that person better, trying to understand them and spending time with them, right? Did we not do that? My way was wrong but you were not exactly approachable for me. And I did what I have to, to stay closer to you."
Kabir said and Zara didn't know what to say. Why does he always have reasonable explanations for everything?
She felt like slapping him for hiding so much one second but next second she felt like kissing him for understanding her and erasing her insecurities without even letting her know. She was falling in love with him all over again.
She felt her baby kicking her and took a deep breath and pressed her hand on her abdomen, feeling the kicks of her baby and taking some time to absorb her feeling.
"Are you alright? Is it paining? Is it becoming stressful for you? Should I stop?" She heard Kabir's questions laced with worry and shook her head.
This man! The emotions that he is showing in this single conversation is more than what he showed during last ten years.
But she has to admit, he was always a gentleman and he always made her feel special, whenever they were together.
She got up from her bed and started roaming in the room, thinking about his words. And he looked at her, observing her every moment and fully prepared to catch her any moment as if she was some porcelain doll.
"Okay. So, for the entire one year, you didn't tell me this? And I had so many doubts about our relationships and you didn't think to clear them even after I got comfortable with you? At least you should have talked about our relationship after I started living with you, right?
That day when we visited the orphanage for the first time, when you made me cry...when we...kissed for the first time, I thought of that as a new beginning for us. Why didn't you talk to me about your feelings then? Why didn't you name our relationship even then?" Zara said feeling angry with each word and also feeling kicks, strong kicks.
Which were not exactly kicks as they were contractions. And they were becoming powerful every second but she needed her answers. So she gritted her teeth and continues her pacing.
The baby has got to wait for some time as the mother was in serious mood to kick father's ass for being a jerk for the time they have lost!
And Kabir scratched his neck, once again.
Dear Lord! He was feeling guilty again. What in the names of sweet heavens has he done now? What is he hiding which could be bigger than what she already knows?
She thought and rubbed her stomach once again.
"What did you do know? And why aren't you answering my previous questions?" Zara asked gritting her teeth as the pain was becoming too much but she tolerated it.
"I...That day in orphanage...After that we kissed...Well...I didn't talk about our relationship because...I didn't want to lie...But I can't speak the truth also..."
Kabir stuttered for the first time in his life and Zara's eyes widened in surprise, shock.
"What lying and what's the truth that you can not speak?" She said as she paced around while he looked at her in distress.
"That day in orphanage, Uncle Omar asked you some questions. Do you remember them?" Kabir asked cautiously.
Zara's eyes narrowed for a second before widening as she remembered the questions. But how does Kabir know about them?
"And you answered all of them by saying, I do." Kabir continued ignoring her questioning gaze.
"Well, he asked me some questions to me too and I also gave the same answer..." Kabir slowly spoke, assessing her mood and praying for his life.
Zara's eyes started widening and her pacing slowed down as she looked at him with open mouth.
"Then I scolded you badly on purpose and made you sign those papers without reading them...You see those papers were not just ... They were not just what you think them to be. They had a little something extra..." Kabir said and now Zara started remembering everything clearly.
With each word he said, the questions started coming back to her mind and so did the answers.
Do you love Dr. Kabir Shah? I do.
Do you want a future with him? I do.
So, Dr. Zara Inayat Ali you want Dr. Kabir Shah as your husb...
She then stopped pacing and looked at Kabir.
Oh no no no....He is not saying what she thinks he is saying.
Kabir took a deep breath before speaking the truth for the first time, out loud.
"We are married."
Zara looked at him for few seconds before saying the three magical words.
"My water broke."
***
That was.... something (:
Anyways, how was the chapter? Are we making sense till now or are we on the collective opinion of writer gone crazy by justifying all the craziness?
And, Kabir's reasons till now, I think are valid. Go back and look at the previous chapters and you can always notice Zara's anxiety whenever Kabir tried to come close to her. Every time he made excuse, was after she was worried or showed any sign of discomfort.
I know... I know, some of you still think it's not right and that he should talk to her clearly from the beginning but I will just say one thing, Zara one year ago was not ready to listen to Kabir express his feelings and trust his words.
Kabir dated her the way normal people date, minus the tag of dating because he doesn't believe on tags. It's everyone's own opinion. And just like we respect Zara's opinions, we have to respect his too. I hope I'm making sense *smiling outside, wondering inside*
For Kabir love means Sunshine. Love makes you strong. That's the most beautiful thing he has said by far.
Now that revenge thing was never in question. So that's clear too. Kabir never wanted to take any revenge and fell for her after knowing everything.
Zara trusts Kabir after knowing everything.
And the marriage. Well, we will come on that in the next and last chapter. Also, I haven't forgotten about the contract that he made her sign. Don't worry Kabir will have to explain that to.
And the explanation about the marriage and contract will decide their fate. Because that contract was the thing that made Zara feel so bad, right?! So let's hope for the best.
Now, since the story is almost over, I will request all the silent readers to go back on previous chapters and vote. Please! And it's okay, No one will know as wattpad has stopped being the nosy aunty and showing your followers that you have voted. LOL (;
To all the regular ones, please vote, comment and share the story on your wall and with your friends. Thanks for your support as always (: