"I thought you had to be down on the field snapping pictures?" Ella asks as we are walking to our seats. We are sitting right behind the bench with a perfect view over the field.
"No, today I am just snapping some videos and I do that much better from up here" I explain to her and she nods in understanding. My plan for this game is to take some videos to engage the viewer more, preferably something with lots of touchdowns.
Everything is going according to plan and I am really happy with the response we are getting from our media presence, I really think I am going to nail this project. I just have to figure out how to solve the other plan involving me and Dax.
"Oh by the way, Mac showed me the pictures you sent him the other day, they look awesome Liv!" A small blush creeps up my cheeks at her praise. It is always nice to hear praise about my photography because it has a special place in my heart.
"Have you ever thought about going into photography instead?" Mariam asks and it is a fair question.
"No, I love taking photos and it is a great stress relief and I want it to stay that way and that is only possible if it stays as a hobby" I explain and they both nod at my answer.
We take our seats and make it comfortable, dividing snacks between us on routine. The boys came out a few minutes ago and the people on the stand are cheering and clapping. I must admit it feels good to be back out here, enjoying the game on the stand with all our supporters. Last few games I have spent down on the sideline taking pictures for my posts and I miss this. It is awesome to be down there but I preferred it up here.
"I think loverboy is trying to contact you" Mariam says beside me and I nudge Ella by reflex, Mac usually has no problem finding her among the crowd. I go back to my popcorn and try to find all the buttered up pieces. I fill my hand with popcorn and at the exact moment I fill my mouth with the Ella pulls my sweater, making me miss my mouth, probably looking like a damn fool.
"Liv, I think this one is for you" she says and my attention travels to where she is pointing.
Down there on the field Dax is looking impatient, arms crossed and stomping his foot like he has waited forever. I give him a good once over and I must say he looks amazing in his gear and tattoos peeking out on his arms. I have to admit that it has been a fantasy for long to find a fine male specimen and then pick off his gear, piece by piece. I know I am not going to do that with him, but a girl can always fantasize.
When my gaze finally reaches his eyes his lips turn into a smug grin and I realize he knew I was checking him out. I have never been good at hiding my feelings so my thoughts are probably written all over my face. He pretends to throw a kiss my way and I can feel my cheeks start changing color. This time I don't think I will be able to hold the embarrassment off.
He looks at me expectantly but I shake my head no, I am not going to throw him a kiss from here, that is so high school, I think. When he realizes I am not going to do it he holds his heart like it is wounded and then puts his hand together in a begging motion which makes me laugh. I didn't know Dax had this silly side to him and I must say I like it, it is embarrassing right now, but I still like this side to him.
I settle for a quick kiss in the air but I am not doing the throwing motion. I slough down in my spot and hide my face in my hands. I am not used to this kind of attention and I don't really know how to handle it.
"Oh my god, is that a blush on your cheeks?" Ella says loud enough for Mariam to pick up on it "you're right, I never thought I would live to see this day".
"Shush!" I say, even more embarrassed at being caught, to them.
"Ehm.. I don't know what the big fuss is about, it's just Dax" unfortunately Ella's words do not comfort me. I am way out of my element here.
"Please chill, it's just that I am not used to this" I say embarrassed into my hand palms, mortified of all the attention from those around us and a few on the field who saw Dax's move.
"Not used to what?" I wish they wouldn't pick up on that detail but nothing gets by Mariam.
"It's just.. Eh the thing is, promise to not laugh.. I kind of never had a boyfriend before" I almost whisper so people won't hear but of course they have to shout.
"You're a virgin?!" Surprisingly Ella's innocent brain thinks of.
"You have never what?!" Mariam shouts at the same time as Ella. I give them an annoyed look which I hope emits the feeling that I want to kill them right now.
"Thanks for making everyone aware of that fact and by the way I never said I am a virgin?!"
"So.. you are not a virgin..?" Mariam asks for clarification and I waver for a second but she catches my hesitation and exclaims 'Oh my god!" into her own hands. Ella just watches me with what looks at me like she doesn't know me.
"What no.. this makes no sense, you are this sassy, confident, take no shit woman it makes no sense" she looks like she is trying to solve a three thousand piece puzzle. I take a deep breath and prepare for the inevitable. How did we end up discussing this, in the middle of the first period during a home game?!
"Exactly, that in combination with being the coach's daughter is not the grates when trying to meet boys unfortunately"
"Oh shit.." this is a first, I must have taken Mariam by surprise because she never ever uses any swear word or even something that resembles one "... I thought you were joking" she ends with and looks at me a bit ashamed.
I understand it must come like a shock to them because I am this sassy, confident, take no shit personality but apparently not everyone appreciates it. Add being the coach's daughter at your highschool and you have a disaster. No guy wanted to go out with a girl whose father he would meet five days a week.
"But wait, does that mean that you and Dax never.. you know..?" Mariam asks and I shake my head no.
"But why? It pains me to say this because he is like my brother but he is hot?" Ella asks and I just shrugs my shoulders.
"It was never the right time I guess, always interrupted or something like that" it's not too far from the truth.
"We so need a fight out, like tonight" Mariam says and Ella loudly agrees. I really hoped to stay in tonight with a bag of popcorn and some netflix.
"Can we do it another night?"
"You have avoided us for the last two weeks, come on!" They both look at me with sad puppy dog eyes.
"I have not been avoiding you guys.." not entirely true, since my and Dax's agreement maybe a little bit ".. I was hoping to get some netflix tonight" I plead to them.
"Okay, let's make a bet, boys win we go out, they lose we go home?" Knowing these two it is probably the best counteroffer I am going to take so I accept it and we shake hands on it.
Five hours later we are all showered and glammed up heading towards Rick's bar. Rick's have become our regular place when we are not in the mood for campus parties and it was the only location I agreed to tonight. Damn those boys for winning, couldn't they have lost, just for today.
"Okay ladies, time for some fun, girls night out!" Ella squeals happily as we head inside. As usual music greets us and people are everywhere so we easily blend into the crowd. We start off with a drink each before we head to the dance floor.
I must admit that it feels good to let my hair down and have fun with my best friends. After this evening with both of them grilling me about my lack of love life it feels unexpectedly good to let loose and just sway to the music. I really love to dance like this on a dance floor packed with everyone else. The energy is what makes it all so perfect.
I look over at Ella doing what she thinks is dancing and laugh at her silly moves. That girl will never learn how to move on the dance floor, it doesn't even look like she is moving along the beat. I nudge her shoulder to get her attention and do the same to Mariam on my other side and scream "refill" and they follow me to the bar.
"Three sex on the beach, in honor of you Liv!" Mariam gives me a wink and I roll my eyes at her. When we finally get our drinks we stay by the bar and sip our drinks for a while, catching our breaths and gossiping. When I sip the last couple of drops Ella absolutely lights up at her phone.
"Yay, they are here!!" And looks excitedly at me.
"Who?" I ask, feeling suspicious of her grin.
"Come on, they are in a booth. Let's go congratulate them!" She starts pulling me along and I give Mariam a questioning look but she just points at Ella and mouths "all her doing".
As I suspected, Dax, Mac and two others are sitting in a booth nursing each a beer. I feel my stomach sink at having to pretend right now but when Dax looks over his shoulder and sees us his face burst out in a big warm smile, awakening butterflies instead. When we reach them they scoot in to make room for us. Mariam is seated beside Dom and of course Ella is in her boyfriend's lap in no time at all, leaving the seat beside Dax empty for me.
He wraps his arm around my shoulders and I scoot in so I am snuggling close to his warmth out of reflex. He lowers his head and places his mouth right beside my ear.
"Hello girlfriend" he gives me a wink and I roll my eyes at his silliness.
"Hello boyfriend" I whisper back to him. It feels really comfortable to lean into his hard body and just relax in the warmth. I take advantage of his body next to mine and place my head on his shoulder, taking a break from everything and settle with observing my friends.
Mariam is as usual all flirty and it looks like she is working her magic on Dom at the moment. I don't really know Dom well but Ella is really fond of him so I guess he has to be alright.
Ella is trying to convince Mac to join her on the dance floor but he is trying to excuse himself blaming on the game. But of course Mac is putty in her hands and finally gets him to agree and they start to move out of our booth and head to the dance floor. As soon as they start dancing I giggle at her silly moves, how that girl can dance so carefree when she is this bad at it takes balls.
"Do you want to get out of here?" Dax asks me and I look up at him and smile.
"Can we really do that?"
"Of course, I know this cafe round the corner where we can get some coffee" I give him an exciting look and he moves us out of the booth without problem. He looks over at Dom and shouts "we will be back" and takes my hand and leads me outside. True to his word he leads me towards a cafe right around the corner, holding the door open for me like a true gentleman.
"I had to get you out of there, I really looked like you were done for the night" he says it suddenly sounding unsure of himself, like he overstepped some imaginary boundary.
"Yeah thanks, I was really not feeling it tonight but I lost a bet and ended up here"
"What did you bet on?"
"You losing, but that didn't work out for me" I say in humor and he looks at me in disbelief.
"Thanks for the confidence" he huffs out pretending to be mad.
"Oh get over it, go buy me a coffee and some cheesecake!" I say to him laughing and push him forward towards the counter. He walks away muttering something under his breath but I can't hear what he's saying. I find a table and sit down waiting for him.
It is actually really nice sitting here with Dax, talking about everything and anything. When he came with my coffee and cake he started to question me about why I was so tired and it was nice to talk about it. I told him all about my worries over the marketing project and how I am working on it twenty four seven, thinking of ideas or editing already existing ideas. When I told him I also signed up for an extra class, because I thought I would have time, he was really considerate and did not mock me for my naivety.
I asked him some questions about his family and was surprised to learn that he has two older sisters. I see him more as a scary big brother with all the muscles and tattoos, not the youngest child. He actually admitted to me that he is worried about his mom and that she never really recovered after his dad left one day and never came back.
He asked some questions about my family and background and I gave him as much details as I could without giving away my dad. I told him all about mom's passing and dad never remarried. It accidentally slipped that dad is a coach but I said in some high school and it feels awful lying to him. Especially since he told me all about his runaway father and that could not have been easy. I don't know what got into me, I am not usually discussing my upbringing with anyone but I feel this safety around him and it lets my guard down.
"Can I ask you a question?" I hesitantly ask him, he will probably not like what I want to ask him.
"Yeah sure, I thought that is what we are doing right now?" He looks confused but gives me the word.
"Why did you go all caveman on Ella last year?" I sound a bit too vulnerable than I like, if I don't watch Iit I will start to sound like a jealous girlfriend.
"Honestly.. I don't know.." he lets out a heavy breath but I don't say anything, it looks like he is not done with his answer.
"I went through some hard shit last year right before school started. I was actually here for two weeks training before school started, with the team and I got this call asking me to come home and ID a body, turns out it was my dad.."
My heart goes out for him and I say "I'm so sorry" and he looks at me with a sad smile.
"Thanks.. anyway, I came back the day before the semester feeling like a mess, I came straight from consoling my mum to that party we met at and I tried to dumb my feelings with alcohole. As we both know that didn't work out and then I met Ella who kind of became my anchor here, making me forget about everything back home. I guess I was afraid of losing that when Mac swooped in" when he is done it looks like a huge burden has been lifted from his shoulders, leaving a satisfied Mac beside me.
"Wow.. that was unexpectedly deep" I say in shock. I don't think I have ever heard a guy ventilate and be able to analyze his actions that well.
"Yeah, had a lot of time for myself this summer, spent it thinking and trying to let go off all the shit surrounding me"
"But, I saw you the other day looking at Ella all jealous when Mac was there" I know I saw something in him that day on the field when we were taking pictures. The way he looked at Ella with longing in his eyes when Mac was by her side.
"No, that's impossible. She is like a little sister to me. When was this?" he asks, frowning his nose at me.
"That day we were taking pictures when Ella and Mar were helping" I say suddenly unsure of myself.
"Ah, that. I wasn't looking at Ella, I was looking at the two of them together, being jealous at what they share. It looks so effortless and nice to have that with someone. I was just sad I will never get to experience it" he looks a bit ashamed but I couldn't care less. The euphoria I feel when he denies having feelings for Ella is unexpected but I won't read too much into it.
"Why would you say that you don't deserve what they have?!" I don't like hearing him being so negative of what he can and can't have.
"Sometimes you just know and I know for a fact I will never deserve it. I come with too much baggage and history to deserve that, I haven't always behaved and am a bit hot headed sometimes. I will most likely crush any girl I end up with" he says with sad eyes. I feel an anger welling up in me at his words. I take his hands in mine, shocking him of my sudden movement and look him straight in the eyes.
"Don't you ever degrade yourself like that, everyone is deserving so get those awful thoughts out of your head!" I see what looks like a hint of a smile and surrender in his eyes. I don't know how but I must have leaned in when I was talking. I am suddenly aware of the close distance between the two of us. If I lean in just a bit more my mouth will brush against his.
Butterflies break out in my stomach as we stay perfectly still, looking deep into eachothers eyes, waiting for the other one to make a move. I can feel my whole body screaming for me to lean in the last bit and take his lips with mine. I bet they are perfect and kissable and the fact that I know he is a good kisser from the 'incident' does not help now. I remember how it felt with his strong arms holding me, his intense kisses like he was starving for me and his caressing hands making my skin ignite where he was touching me.
He lets out a puff of air with his breathing and I can smell the coffee mixed with his signature wood and orange smell.
"Excuse me, can I take this chair?" we both jolt back at the intruder and I look around me and find a man standing beside the third chair at our table. I look at him l with a 'what do you think?!' look in my eyes and he hesitantly takes the chair and moves it over to his table.
"So.. want me to walk you home?" he asks sweetly and it makes the butterflies go crazy in me.
"Yeah, that would be nice" I say shyly back at him. I can't understand I nearly kissed him. I am supposed to hate his guts but I am getting more and more confused every day. Maybe I should just try to pause my angry feelings towards him and just ride this one out. Soon enough we are going to go our separate ways, not looking back and maybe if I relax a bit it won't be so hard to keep up with this charade.
Like a true gentleman he walks me back to my dorm. He even took his jacket off and handed it to me when I started to shiver. Once we reach the entrance we stop and he gives me a quick hug and kiss on the head like it is the most natural thing in the world and my heart melts a little bit.
"See you around, girlfriend" he says with a huge smile.
"You bet, boyfriend" I answer him and enter the building with a huge grin on my face. I can't believe I am actually warming up to Dax.
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Authors note:
Hey! Sorry about the looong chapter but there was so many ideas that popped into my head writing this one and I couldn't chose :P
p.s. don't forget to vote & comment <3
/Frida