A/N - Was thinking of writing a Sebastian Smythe fanfic after the end of this story (this is the penultimate chapter!) what are your guys's thoughts? :)
Enjoy this chapter, and... goodluck...
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You ran a hand restlessly through your hair, clasping a fistful of it within your hand and taking deep, nervous breaths.
Fear entangled within your insides as you glanced at the date, just to try and make yourself believe that it actually was the day of the operation. You fumbled your fingers together, trying to keep your head up and thinking positive thoughts.
So many questions strangled your blank mind, your mouth was parched and you nibbled aimlessly on your bottom lip as you approached the hospital.
"It's going to be okay" Sophie reassured you, taking your hand and squeezing it tenderly as you returned the gesture with a grateful nod.
"I just can't believe it's today..." You turned to her, voice barely audible. "I can't even imagine how Grant must be feeling..." Sophie pulled you into a side hug as you entered the doors which felt more like home than your own.
You made your way upstairs to Grants room, trying not to engross yourself with all the crying and depressed people that seemed to be constantly surrounding you, mentally if not physical.
After laying a soft knock on the door, you walked in slowly seeing that Grant was asleep, noticing that he was now attached to a heart rate machine. Sighing in relief from his relaxed state, you took a seat by him and gestured for Sophie to sit by you.
At least he's okay... At least he's relaxed and getting some escape by sleeping...
"Grant" you whispered, tears already clouding your eyes "Baby, I need you to do one thing for me" You slipped his hand from underneath his sheets and let your fingers dance with his gently "I need you to make it through this operation, can you do that? Please?" It was thankfully extremely rare for the removal of a prostrate gland to kill, but that fact didn't seem to offer you any comfort at this point in time. "In fact, we're going to make it through this together gorgeous" you squeezed his hand and his head rolled over on its side, facing you directly.
His eyes wandered open and a small smile played at the corners of his mouth at the sight of you. You automatically returned the flicker, as he sighed and turned his gaze to the foot of his bed.
"It's today isn't it" he murmured, so quietly you didn't know whether you were meant to hear.
"Yeah" you confirmed, letting Sophie who was sat slightly behind you take your hand and hold it loosely. It was a simple action, but it meant more than you could describe. "You can go back to sleep, i don't mind" you whispered, fingers playing with his hair slightly.
"I don't have the energy to sleep'
He answered back dully, he looked as nervous as you felt, and further fear twisted its way within you, tangling you up so you felt unable to breath properly.
"How long have we got?" He asked, you bit back the screams to the meaning within that question.
"Until the operation? About an hour" you answer, voice breaking ever so slightly.
"Stay with me" he whispered.
It broke you. Seeing him so desperate, pleading just for your presence, "Always" you choked back.
Silence settled comfortably within the room, you shuffled next to Grant on his bed, wrapping his head gently within your arms and pressing light kisses on his temple. Every so often you and Sophie would share small sad smiles, you wanted to say something but there were no appropriate words.
A sharp sob caught your attention, and you looked to Sophie, expecting the sound to be coming from her.
"I can't do this" Grant gasped, his hands clutching to his bed sheets so that the skin was stretched and white "I can't" he whimpered, you clung to him tightly, almost frightened that he would disappear if you didn't. "I can't bare that this might be last hour with you"
Your body flinched visibly at the words as you whispered exasperatedly "No Grant you can't... You can't give up"
"But I'm so tired of trying... I'm so tired of this whole thing..." His body shook with tears beneath your arms, and you were left clueless of what to do.
He couldn't give up. If he gave up it was your last droplet of hope gone. "Babe please-" you clenched your teeth together and closed your eyes, praying for it all to go away. Praying for you to WAKE UP.
Your brain scanned for ways to offer comfort, anything to help the quivering body beneath you; but it was as though someone had sieved you of all the knowledge you once had. The only thing you had the strength to do was hold Grant, and savour every point that your body cells met.
You buried your face in his hair as Sophie walked out briskly holding in tears of her own, inhaling Grants scent, "I won't let you go." You whispered, body nearly trembling with the struggle of not allowing yourself to cry.
Grant seemed to have given up trying. He sobbed loudly into your embrace as he balled your shirt in his hands and leaned limply into you as his support.
"You're going to be okay Grant. You will. You have to." You voice strained around tears as you lay on his bed.
Once Grant had calmed himself down a little, you cuddled him tightly until the operation was nigh. A doctor asked you politely to leave as you turned to look Grant in his eyes.
"You'll pull through this. I love you so much" you whispered, offering him the closest thing to a smile your face could manage.
"I love you too"
Once you were outside you slouched against the door effortlessly, seeing Sophie sat on a worn chair.
"Soph" you trembled slightly "Soph... What am I going to do if..." She shook her head and embraced you immediately.
"Don't think like that, he will recover"
***
Waiting was the worst part, the strangling vines of fear within tightened with every passing second of silence.
You found yourself biting your nails or you lip, until it was actually too painful to carry on, your eyes darted around the empty halls, and every time you stood up to pace a while your legs felt weak and unstable.
A doctor came out of the room and you immediately snapped your head away, standing and breathing heavy with apprehension.
"I-Is he okay?" You stammered, Sophie stood by you for support.
"Mr Gustin has had the operation, no complications were found, and he is predicted to make a full recovery"
You collapsed against Sophie slightly "oh god... Oh thank god... Can I see him?" You ask, a hand on your forehead as the doctor nodded happily.
"Grant" you said, unable to keep the smile from your face even at Grants exhausted appearance. He turned and smiled at you.
"I didn't give up" he grinned, you felt like you were dreaming as he smiled fully at you.
"You're going to be okay..." You whispered, tears glistening your eyes as he nodded.
His head snapped away.
His eyes squinted into a frown as he hissed in pain and the doctors who had been checking the details of the operation ran in immediately.
"Wha... What's happening?" You ask, eyes scanning the concerned faces as you heard murmured and faint words of 'complications' and 'emergency' around you.
You felt your heart plummet rock bottom as the signals of his heart rate slowed and you realised just how comforting the constant beeping had been.
You felt the burn of tears in your eyes.
You think you were screaming but you couldn't tell, everything was numb as your body trembled violently.
His heart rate was now just a line, a constant, still line as the beeping turned to a low repetitive wail.
Your legs gave way.
You screamed and screamed but you couldn't hear anything.
His heart beat stopped in front of your eyes and you could do nothing about it.