Two days later, on a late Saturday evening, Regan curled up on a sofa, too tired to move yet knowing in a few minutes she'd have to get going.
"Looking good, Gray." His sister said as Gray came to stand in the doorway.
Regan glanced over at him. And had to agree. The man scrubbed up well. But then, she expected him to. He was lean, tall, and from what she'd seen, toned. But it was Loretta's tone that had Regan taking a harder look. He seemed nervous. His eyes looked a touch apprehensive. A muscle was ticking at his jaw. Slightly ill at ease. Regan wondered why.
Though she had told her heart that it needed to forget him, for he had shown her that he was out of reach, she knew it would be a while before she did. So she had resolved to do her best to deal with the situation. Unrequited love. Nothing new she thought as she remembered her relationship with her parents. She loved them, they didn't love her. Unrequited love in her childhood. Nothing new at all in her adulthood.
"This is a bad idea." He muttered to himself, but loud enough to be heard. When he'd issued the invitation he had been buoyed by the spat he'd had with Regan, and his reticence had vanished in the heat of the moment. And the old Gray, the one who had confidence, had returned in time to issue Caro the invitation. But now, in the cold light of day, the fact he hadn't had a date in over a year, started to make him believe that this was a seriously stupid idea! He bought new clothes, albeit with advice from Loretta, and got a hair cut yesterday. But today, his misgivings, his fear, resurfaced. Lots had changed in the year, and he wasn't sure that emotionally he was ready to deal with the change.
"Don't back down now Gray." Loretta warned gently, knowing how big a deal this was for Gray. "Caro's been talking about this date all day!" Loretta hoped that telling Gray about Caro's fears, it would show it was normal for first dates. "She tried on so many outfits today at the shop! But she was so excited about this date. Everyone has butterflies about dating."
"Hmm." That worried him even more. There was so much expectation. First dates were bad enough on a normal basis. But this first date had so much riding on it.
Gray didn't know that Regan was in the room. He stepped into the room and Loretta said, "He looks good, doesn't he, Regan?" Loretta turned to Regan for help. Loretta was worried because it looked like Gray was about to bail. Loretta knew that Regan had a real gift: she could turn the most negative circumstance around into a positive statement.
"Fuck." Gray mumbled beneath his breath. Typical. Of course she heard his muttering because she was close to him, he just didn't register her when he stood at the door. His unease stepped up a gear. He didn't want her to see him nervous. He certainly didn't want his sister using Regan to bolster his confidence. His lips thinned, his chin lifted a fraction, his eyes cooled. But the tick at his jaw continued to beat.
Regan took a quick breath for confidence and ignored his glare. "I'd say that any woman with a pulse would think your brother looked good most times."
Gray blinked. Loretta beamed. Thank goodness for Regan!
Regan responded to Loretta's silent plea for assistance. Regan nodded, "But dressed up," her eyes tracked over his body, "he is spectacular!"
"See!" Lore smiled. "Even the shop assistant said you looked amazing when you tried on those clothes at the shop!"
"Good to see that he shares your good taste." Gray looked wonderful, his clothes taking him from just good looking to seriously good looking. The man looked very handsome.
"Yeah, right. Sarcasm is..." Muttered Gray, assuming she was being sarcastic. He was pretty sure she was going to take the opportunity to point score, to get even for his stream of derisive comments.
"It wasn't sarcasm." Regan said automatically. "Honestly, I echo the shop assistant, you look amazing." Regan suddenly realised that he was truly anxious. Her heart felt for him. Clearly this first date meant a lot to him. He looked nervy. Something she'd never associated with him. "So, Loretta came with you to the shop and helped you to choose your clothes." Regan replied with temerity and her lips quirked. Gray narrowed his eyes at her, expecting a caustic comment. She had probably sensed his unease and was no doubt going to take full advantage. Who could blame her after the hard time he'd been giving her. Regan's smile reached her eyes, as she tilted her head and studied him openly, "Your sister has got real taste and knows style. No wonder you look catalogue perfect!" She told him with gentle humour and added, "Honestly, what you are wearing is perfect for your physique!"
Her honesty was his undoing and he spoke without thinking, "Until you get a look at the scars, then I'm probably someone's pre-cosmetic surgery photo." That's what worried him. His scars. Before the attack he'd been a confident man, taking in his stride his good looks and his easy-going charm. After the attack, after he'd seen the mess of his back, his confidence had fled. Who in their right mind was going to find him attractive now? Once they got a look at the damage on his back, they'd run a mile.
It struck Regan that he really believed what he was saying. Which was puzzling. He came across as confident and secure. Surly maybe. Arrogant definitely. Anti-her, for sure.
Her eyes narrowed in speculation. "Scars? What scars?" Regan asked him though she knew what he was talking about. She had seen his scars. And as a doctor she knew they were the result of awful and painful injuries. As a woman she was sure the scars would remind him of very painful times. But it would appear that they had done more damage than that.
Gray squirmed. Wishing he'd never muttered those thoughtless words. He should have kept his mouth shut.
"On his back." Loretta stated softly, seeing that Gray was not going to say anything and wishing that she had never gotten Regan involved. She didn't want her brother reminded of those scars. Not when they reminded him of the events that caused the scars.
"On his back." Regan said lightly, her voice airy, she could see that both siblings looked uncomfortable. "You mean some lucky woman is going to get to see you naked?" Regan grinned when a flush suffused his neck. Ok, so she might not attract him, but she could make him embarrassed. "Lucky woman." At his raised eyebrows she carried on teasing with gentle humour, "Hey, I've seen you shirtless! You have a terrific physique, and believe me, as a doctor I've seen my share of male bods! Yours would be at least a ten out of ten!" It was costing her to be this laid back about the whole thing, but she couldn't bear for him to see just how much his dating another woman, hurt her. And more than that, she wanted him to be happy. Up until a few hours ago he had seemed happy to be going out on a date. But now, obviously he was anxious. And if she could set his mind at ease, then she would do it. Even if it meant taking a sledgehammer to her own heart.
"When have you seen me shirtless?" Gray frowned at her, thinking she was just making this up and probably just buttering him up before she launched her mortar attack. She was never around when he was working, so he'd never felt the need to stay covered up when he worked up a sweat. His shirt was often off, the sun beating down on his back was a glorious feeling. But he'd always felt sure that no-one had seen him without his shirt on, no-one except his sister and grandfather.
Regan shrugged, "Oh, when you were fixing up the sheds." She turned and settled her feet on the carpet. Then she glanced up at him, and with a genuine smile told him, "And you reminded me of that guy in the coke commercial."
Gray stood stock still. He studied her for several minutes, wondering if she was winding him up. Him, and the guy in the coke commercial? Yeah, right. What was she lining up? Obviously she was buttering him up before she took a sledgehammer to him.
"And in any case, those scars, well they just make you more interesting." She said gently, seeing that his scars were on the inside and outside. Someone needed to show him that those scars didn't matter.
Gray tensed. Regan could see that he was still contemplating pulling out of the date that evening and despite the fact that her heart had cheered at that thought, her brain insisted on her trying to help Gray. Even if it cost her a measure of her own happiness.
"Caro is very lucky to have a date with a gorgeous man who doesn't have an ego about his looks." Regan told him bluntly when she realised that he was genuinely apprehensive about the date. She hadn't expected that. "I imagine most women in New Zealand would consider themselves lucky if you asked them out." His eyes went wide. Surely she wasn't interested in him. She smiled ruefully, "And now that I've embarrassed the both of us, I'll leave you to it." She got to her feet. "Have a lovely evening." Regan said softly doing her best to keep her wistfulness at bay. "Caro is lucky you asked her out." She left Loretta smiling broadly at her brother, who was still trying to work out if Regan was serious. Regan knew that at any moment her jealousy would surface and the things she had just said would go up in smoke as she begged him not to go out with Caro. So she left quickly.