I haven't seen Jace in a few weeks. Baseball season started a week after my trip to the harbor and he's been extra busy. I still go to his house to tutor Jasmine and have unbelievably awkward run-ins with Jasper, it's just that Jace isn't here. He's either at practice or on a date with Marley (they've been on three so far.) I'm not complaining, I've been hanging out with Erika and Dylan on Saturday's even though being with them is like third-wheeling all over again. I've been begging Destiny to come with me, but all she does is hang out with Jasper. She claims that she can't miss her 'dick appointments' and I make a point of hanging up the phone whenever she calls it that.
It was a miracle that I convinced her to hang out with me today. Apparently, Jasper was busy today so she was stuck with me. I tried not to be offended at that, but I'm pretty sure it showed all over my face. The downside was that last week I promised Jace that I would go to one of his baseball games. He specifically wanted me to go to this one because it was against the rival school (whose name I forget about five seconds after he told me.)
Destiny was pissed at first because she didn't want to attend some boring game where she was going to be stuck in the heat with her ass sticking to a nasty metal bench. I agreed with her and wanted nothing more than to go to the mall, but I wasn't going to break my promise. She reluctantly went with me to the game, claiming she did it to hang out with her best friend, but I think she just didn't want to be alone.
"I can't believe you dragged me to this stupid game," Destiny whined for the millionth time
"Can you stop complaining?" These metal seats are beyond uncomfortable especially if you've been sitting here for two hours and the sun beaming in my face doesn't help either. "The games almost over, so we can go out and eat real food,"
I heard somebody say earlier that the bottom of the last inning just started. It's bases loaded and if the next person can hit a homer and get all our people in then he wins the game. I think, honestly, I stopped listening after they said last.
"Look, isn't that him!" I look over to see the person whose batting and surely enough it was number 13. Jace has to hit a homer whatever that means.
We watch closely as he gets a few bad pitches, but then just like lightning, he cracks the ball. It soars into the air and he is running like an Olympian around the bases. Nobody caught the ball and it laid alone in the grass until the person closest to him picked it up and threw it home where Jace was running too. The ball and Jace get there at the same time and the crowds who were once screaming my ear off are now dead silent.
"SAFE AND ELKRIDGE WINS!" The umpire yells and our side erupts in cheers once again. Destiny and I sighed, relieved that this was over.
"Looks like your boy, hit a home run!" Destiny yells over the cheering. I don't even know what that means, but it's good.
I stand up and cheer with the crowd. Jace catches my eye and he winks at me. I send him a smile which earns the glare of a random girl next to me. He chugs down some water and his teammates give him a slap on the back.
"That Kingston boy could go pro!" An older, overweight white man says to his wife.
"When did Jace get so hot?" The same girl who glared at me earlier whispered to her friend who started giggling. They look exactly how I imagined preppy white girls would look like. Scrunchies on their wrists and blonde hair framing both of their faces with a tan like it were the middle of July.
"Jasper's hotter." Her friend replies and the other one nods before they talk about some party that Jasper threw.
They talked about him like he was god on Earth, but the only thing Jasper's ever been was an asshole. And they spent so much time comparing the two like everything was a competition. Who's smarter? Who's more athletic? Who's better looking? Why don't they ask, who made sure their friend got home safe. Who listened to you when you rant about stupid Disney movies? Who lets you rest on their shoulder after you had a long day? Because it sure as hell wasn't Jasper.
Destiny wasn't even listening to those girls instead she was applying lipstick while those girls talked about how good her boyfriend looked in their school uniform.
I stayed after once everybody, even Destiny, but the team was gone. She canceled on our plans, apparently, Jasper is now free and the bitch left me to get some dick.
The team meeting lasted a long time and after they disperse Jace runs over to me. He tried to give me a hug but I held my arm out to stop him.
"No, you're disgusting and sweaty!" His black eye makeup is running and his face is glistening with sweat, not to mention his clothes are covered in dirt.
"Come on, I just won my game and you won't even give your best friend a hug." He tried to move in closer, but I pushed him back again.
"Once you take a shower we can talk about the hug," He was satisfied as we walked back to the parking lot. "Can I get a ride back to your house? Destiny took her car to meet your brother," He grimaced at the mention of Jasper, but quickly covered it up with a grin.
"If you give me a hug," He starts walking towards me, but I turn around straight into a person. A young woman in a pair of extra short shorts and a tank top with Riverside embedded on the front is on the ground in front of me. Her dark brown hair tied into a ponytail is sprayed across the grass.
"Shit, watch where you're going!" The girl muttered angrily. I offer to help her up, but she pushes my hand out the way and stands up herself. There's a piece of grass in her hair but I decide against mentioning it. I don't want to rock the already unstable boat.
"Sorry, I didn't see you there." I try to apologize. Her eyes in a tight glare as she sizes me up.
"Obviously-" She cuts herself off, focusing on something behind me. Her face turns red and she takes her hair out of the ponytail, running her fingers hastily through it. "JASPER!"
Of course, this girl likes him. She pushes me out the way and throws herself at Jace. His jaw tightened. I watched as he clenched and unclenched his fists. I wanted to reach out and let him know that somebody was here who wanted him and not his brother.
"It's Jace." His voice clipped. Her eyes widened before reverting back to the coldness that she gave me.
"Oh," She brushed past us but before going back down to the track. We watched as the girl turned back around. "Tell your brother I'm looking for him!" She yelled before disappearing around the gate
I rolled my eyes and when I looked back Jace was already halfway to the car. I ran after him just barely making it and almost running over a pair of freshman looking girls watching the lacrosse team.
"Wait!" I grabbed onto his shoulder, stopping him in his tracks. "Jace, come on!"
"What do you want from me!" He turned around abruptly and I slammed into his chest.
"I'm sorry that she thought you were Jasper. But... doesn't this happen a lot?" Shouldn't he be used to it by now? They are identical twins, it's an easy mistake.
"Doesn't mean I have to like it," He grunts out before snatching his keys out his pocket and unlocking the door.
"I know, but-"
"Do you?" He snapped. "Do you know what it's like being looked over your entire life? Always being the backup. Meant to feel lesser than the person right next to you."
For once, I understood why Jace was distraught every time Jasper walked into the room. He was a constant reminder of everything that Jace wasn't. I feel like that even when I don't have a twin to remind me of it every time I look in the mirror.
"Yeah, I know the feeling."
"I doubt it," He sneered. "Unless there's a twin sister you haven't told me about." Among all the things I haven't told you, a secret twin sister is the least of your worries.
"For the last three years, I've felt the same way," He scoffed. "But I just learned that I didn't need to seek validation with everything I do. I'm my own person and there are people who support me and love me." His face paled. I struck a nerve.
"What are you trying to say?" He mumbled, less sure of himself than before. Good, he needs to learn this lesson. Just like I had to.
"There are people who love you for everything that you have. Like me and Carter and Henry and Alex and Jasmine and Camron," I reminded him. "You have people that will pick you every day and will keep picking you. You don't need that girl's approval or Jasper's. Everything you need is what you have."
We were silent for a few minutes as my words sunk in. I wanted them to be embedded in his skin. Whenever he feels like he was less than the caring, gentle, amazing person that he is, he'll remember what I said. I lied to him about one thing though, the truth is I haven't taken my own advice. I deluded myself into believing exactly what Jace believes and I saw how irrational it was from another point of view. I'm no less of a person than Destiny is. We have different strengths and there's nothing wrong with that. I don't need everybody in school loving me because I love me. I need to start believing that.
"Can we grab lunch?" I broke the silence. He wordlessly nodded, finally turning on the car before I passed out from heatstroke.
"How about Charleys?"
"No."
"Subway?"
"No"
"Chick Fil A?"
"Had it yesterday," He groans and I have a lightbulb idea. A stupid one, but he did say he wanted to visit the city.
"Chicken boxes!" He raises his eyebrows in confusion. "You've never had a chicken box?" He shakes his head
"Oh, you're in for a real treat my friend. Just to warn you it's in the city,"
"You have to give me directions," I nod and I put Tommy's in his navigation.
As we get closer to the city, he looks more nervous than anticipated. Actually, that's a lie I knew he would look like this. He looks at the people outside his window like they are sideshow tourist attractions. I sit back and pray that nobody sees me in this car as we ride past my neighborhood.
"Are you sure this is safe?" He asks when we pull up to Tommy's. I ignored his question and pushed him through the door. He has to duck a little walking in because this door wasn't meant to fit a 6' guy.
I suddenly remembered a very important detail to why I go here, Ashley works here. Her parents own this place. I mentally facepalm praying that she isn't working today. Unfortunately, my prayers are shot to hell when she walks out from the back carrying a case of ginger ales to put in the freezer.
"Hey Scar, I didn't know you were coming today." Her voice energetic was oblivious to my distress.
Her hair is yanked up in a bun, so big that she might topple over if she leans too far to one side. The store logo is embedded in the corner of her neon orange shirt. She looks normal to me, probably looks like an alien to Jace.
I blink furiously at her hoping she gets the picture and shuts up. I yank my head in Jace's direction whose focus is on the menu on top of the counter and she finally notices. She covers her hand over her mouth probably to keep from freaking out because she's finally seen my mystery man in person.
"Hey, I'm going to the bathroom for a second," I tell Jace who nodded before looking down at his phone. Ashley follows me into the bathroom and locks the door.
"So, why are we in this bathroom and not out there talking to your mystery man?" Ashley questions. I start pacing before telling her the story of how I tricked Jace.
"So, he thinks you live in some rich neighborhood with a preppy private school," She says disbelieved. "He doesn't know anything real about you except your best friend and your name."
"More or less," I stammer. "The important thing is, he can't find out!"
"And why not?"
"Because... because... I said so." She stares me down
"Wow, I thought you were better than this. What happens if he finds out?"
"I'll deal with it, but right now it's not complicated. We don't need to make things complicated."
"If you were so keen on him not finding out, why would you bring him here?"
"I forgot, okay. I didn't know it would go this far," I admit to myself more than her. "Please Ash help me!" She contemplated it for a second
"I'm not going to tell him, but when this whole thing backfires it's on your ass." She says walking out of the bathroom.
I'll tell him the truth, eventually. I just need more time. The scene of Kalina's party replayed in my head where I had almost the same conversation with Destiny, except I told her that a month and a half ago.
I walk out of the bathroom a few minutes after Ashley and we order. Ashley is our cashier and while Jace orders she keeps looking back over to me. I avoid eye contact and suddenly become fascinated with a tray of mints next to the cash register. She side-eyes me as she hands me the bags. I just smile too wide and say thank you. Jace does the same thing but he doesn't look like this is the most awkward interaction in his entire life.
After we get in the car, we eat our food. Well, I eat mine and he devours his.
"This is amazing!" He says with ketchup on his cheek. I lick my finger and he lets me wipe it off.
"Yeah, you don't get food like this from a chain," he murmurs a response, finishing off his last fry. I offer to throw our food away and I walk back into the store.
"You need to tell him, he's bound to find out one way or another," Ashley says when she walks to me from behind the counter. I don't even know why we are repeating the same conversation.
"I got this, don't worry.." She gives me a big squeeze and I do the same back. "See you, Ash."
"By the way, that boy is fine!" She looks over at Jace getting in the car then back at me with a mischievous grin. "You know for a white boy." She winks at me and I shove her before walking over to the door.
I walk back out to the car and we drive off. I sigh as I look back at Jace who is focused on the road ahead.
What am I even doing here? I wish I knew why I still hung around him. Why do I torture myself with constantly looking over my shoulder waiting for Jace to realize that he doesn't need me? Waiting for somebody to out me because of the four people that know, one them wouldn't mind seeing me get knocked down a peg.
I shook those nasty thoughts out of my head and focused on the now. Right now, Jace considers me his best friend. He trusts me. He enjoys my company. That's the only thing that matters.