"I would rather not-"
"You will go. That's an order. You've been working a lot lately, so just relax. You can keep your mask on if you want." Mori smiled at her, and Ren sighed, nodding.
"I understand, Boss." She walked out of his office, passing by Chuuya.
"Hi. Just by the way, I'm going to be going to this hot spring place with Akutagawa for his injuries." He sighed.
"Mori asked me to go as well." She shook her head and he stopped.
"Oh god. Can you help me deal with him as a fellow Executive?" He asked, silently pleading for her to agree.
"Yes. I'll help keep Higuchi off Akutagawa because knowing her, she will come. I'm most likely going to be babysitting rather than relaxing, so I'll probably go to the onsen in the evening." They made their way to the vehicle that would take them to where they were staying, looking out for other people.
Chuuya checked his phone, and looked surprised, and glanced at Ren for a moment before typing something and putting it back in his pocket quickly. Ren watched his facial expressions and nodded to herself.
Now what did Dazai ask you to do?
"Hey, the bath house that Boss reserved for medical treatment for Akutagawa's injury and coughing problem, is it still far ahead?" Chuuya groaned, dragging his feet along the ground.
"We'll arrive there shortly..." Higuchi replied, staying close to Akutagawa.
"More like, how come even Higuchi's coming too?"
"That's because I'm senpai's assistant! Senpai, we've been walking for quite a while but are you ok? Can you make it?" She started worrying over Akutagawa, and Chuuya and Ren looked at each other, sighing.
"Shut up Higuchi." Akutagawa said grumpily.
"I'm sorry."
"If Higuchi's coming, then there's no need for me to be around, right? Can I go back already?" Chuuya complained as Ren flicked him harshly in the forehead. "HEY!"
"What are you saying, after walking all the way here? Besides, it's Chuuya-san and Midnight-san who were asked by the Boss, right? Because senpai dislikes taking baths, so to make sure he bathes properly in the hot spring..." Higuchi thought out loud, starting to panic.
"Why do I have to make sure whether or not he gets into the bath? If it's really that important then- Higuchi! Why don't you do it instead?" Chuuya yelled out.
"HUH?! Me supervising?! That would mean... In order to make sure senpai gets in the bath, I'll have to go inside with him... N-no, that's impossible, impossible! Midnight-san-" She protested, shaking her head profusely and turning to Ren.
"Takahashi's fine. Stop going 'Midnight-san' already."
"Wait, that's the same name as- ok, but that still means I'll have to go in with him-"
"UGH, shut up! Don't take it so seriously like that!" Chuuya shouted, closing his eyes to try to calm himself.
"B-but..."
"Medical treatment is unnecessary! Not to mention hot springs- I need no such thing! I have to look for a mission... What I need most is an enemy worth of Dazai-san's acknowledgment! Takahashi-"
"What? Stop putting Dazai on such a pedestal." Ren rolled her eyes.
"I need to get Dazai-san to acknowledge me!" Akutagawa protested.
"That's enough! That's enough! Loosen up a bit, Akutagawa. The enemy that you have to face right now is the hot springs! For now let's just walk." He nodded and followed him. "Aah, I wonder what kind of hot spring it will be?"
"If that's what you're asking for, then Kajii will investigate the hot spring's behaviour the second we arrive. Hot springs are very intriguing, truly fascinating indeed!" Kajii seemed to pop out of nowhere and started ranting about random topics.
"Ren I need more help dealing with these kids. Why is he coming too...? I just want to go home..."
"You think I don't feel any different?" They both sighed.
"Alright, the check-in procedure is done, so... why don't we go to our rooms? Higuchi, this is your room key ok?" Chuuya handed her a card.
"My room key? But why?"
"Isn't that a given?! You're a woman, you know?"
"But... I am expected to be with senpai at all times. That's why I can't afford to be apart from him... is that not right, senpai?" She turned to Akutagawa, practically begging for him to agree.
"Give the dude some privacy and shut up. Honestly, you sound like a hopeless fangirl. I'm curious as to why you're attracted to this guy with no eyebrows and anger issues who is obsessed with getting the attention of one suicidal bastard in the first place."
"But-"
"Are you bitter because I just said something that isn't praising the person who you idolise because you're insecure about yourself because you don't have an ounce of self worth and chose a profession where it is near impossible to get any recognition whatsoever without an ability; and just latched onto someone with a lot of power? You certainly have... interesting taste, but who am I to judge?" Ren said calmly.
"I-"
"Did you just call Dazai a bastard?!" Chuuya raised his voice.
"Is that what you're worried about? And yes, now calm yourself before I steal your hat."
"Did you just insult senpai?! How dare you!"
"Shut up, Higuchi." Akutagawa muttered.
"I'm sorry! At least let me carry senpai's belongings to the room!"
"Do what you like! Let's go."
Stepping inside, they saw Tachihara with Kajii, and they were both eager to cause, and Hirotsu was watching from the side, not doing anything.
"Kill every person you don't recognise!" Tachihara yelled out.
"You low life, has no one ever taught you about manners before...?" Hirotsu responded with a level head.
"Woah, woah... these guys are saying some seriously brutal stuff... I'd rather avoid a commotion..." Chuuya stepped in front, trying to stop Tachihara.
"If that's the case, why don't I, Kajii, blow those guys up for you?!"
"Kajii? Were you even listening to me? I said I'd rather avoid commotion, ok?" Chuuya sighed.
"That being said, I wonder what kind of people they are?" Higuchi followed Chuuya and Ren.
"I guess you'll have to go and find out and see if they're troublesome or not." Ren shrugged.
"THERE! YES! I scored! Gin, make sure to write it down!" Tachihara screamed out.
"Hmph... Don't be so ecstatic after just one point..." Hirotsu said to himself, almost like a warning.
"Th-the Black Lizard?!" Higuchi stepped back, hiding behind Akutagawa.
"Why are you so scared? You're their superior." Ren leaned back, looking at her.
"What are you guys doing here?" Chuuya asked, seeing tired already.
"Geh! Chuuya-san, Midnight-san... No, this is..." Tachihara started.
"Boss told us that we should go relax every once in a while, hence..." Hirotsu began.
"Boss is telling everyone to relax. Is he a philanthropist or what? But why are you playing table tennis?" Ren observed their game, crossing her arms.
"As expected... because it's the hot springs, so..." The ball started flying around the room, and Ren put a hand on Chuuya's shoulder.
"More people to look after."
"Oh god... So it becomes that violent if you guys are the ones doing it, huh..." He said slowly, twitching slightly.
"I want to play table tennis!" Kajii exclaimed suddenly.
"It's not like I don't understand Kajii's feelings, but playing table tennis when we haven't even taken a bath is... We haven't even gotten in our rooms yet, you know?" Chuuya tried to separate everyone to no avail.
"Oh! Then, why don't we play doubles?" Tachihara suggested.
"And what are you doing starting it off by yourselves?! Hey, Akutagawa! Don't team up with Kajii wearing that serious look on your face!" Chuuya called out.
"SMA-ASH! I scored!" Came Kajii's voice.
"My Rashoumon is a creature of sin... it devours everything in its path... Black Lizard! Even your scores...!"
"Calm down edge lord." Ren scoffed. "But what is everyone doing? This is absolute chaos."
"Senpai! What are you doing?!" Higuchi rushed over.
"Oh, as expected of Higuchi. You get how wrong this situation is, don't you?" Chuuya had a slight look of relief on his face.
"Of course! To think that senpai would team up with someone other than me... even though it's decided that I will be senpai's partner..." She said with a sad expression on her face.
"Oh, so that's what you meant. Hah, just do whatever you want." Chuuya sighed. "Ren can you help me out here or just do something?"
"If everyone wants to go to the hot springs, then finish the game quickly, but for now, do whatever you want. Just know, that there will be consequences." Her voice wasn't exceptionally loud, but everyone listened and nodded slowly.
"Thank you for giving us permiss-SMAA-ASH!" Kajii sent a ball flying.
"We took so long to get t the hot springs because of that table tennis game of yours! Let's just hurry up and get in!" Chuuya seemed eager to get in.
"I wonder what kind of chemical component is contained in this hot spring!" Kajii laughed maniacally.
"Hm? Akutagawa, why are you standing there hesitating?" Ren stepped into the water, listening to everyone's conversation and getting ready to step in if something went wrong.
"I shall go in... a little later..." Akutagawa said.
"Ha? By saying that you mean you're not planning on going in, right?" Chuuya grumbled.
"That's not true! Senpai's just not in the mood for hot springs right now!" Higuchi stood up and went up to the wall.
"Higuchi, what do you think you're doing peeking from the wall like that?!" Chuuya shouted as Ren sighed, standing up and dragging her back into the water.
"Wait, Takahashi, you're still covering your face with a towel-"
"I can remove it if you want to." She took off the towel and shrugged, and Higuchi stared at her for a moment.
"Wow you're quite pretty." She said quietly. "HOLD ON YOU'RE THAT WOMAN DAZAI WAS WITH! AND YOUR NAMES ARE THE SAME TOO! SO... SO-"
"Did you only realise just now?" She shrugged and Higuchi stared at her in disbelief.
"Yes... Also, you have so many scars on your arms and a really big one on your stomach... What happened?" Higuchi asked hesitantly.
"A dead man." She said, a distant, empty feeling in her voice.
"It would appear that I have a cold, so I'll pass up the opportunity..."
"Goddammit, stop being so selfish! What are you? A kid?!" Chuuya yelled back to Akutagawa.
"Senpai is very delicate! Please treat him kindly!" Higuchi shouted from the water.
"Isn't it obvious that he's faking?! And aren't you sweat from the table tennis game earlier?" Chuuya shouted back.
"I-"
"Don't you dare make any excuses. We came all this way to a hot spring, you know?!"
"Hm? It seems that I forgot my towel back in our room."
"You don't need to worry about that! I've brought senpai's towel right here!" Ren grabbed Higuchi's arm and dragged her back, keeping her in the water so she could breathe but not talk.
"Higuchi...! That was unnecessary...!"
"There! You can't can't run away now. Kajii, Black Lizard, all of you help me out. We're getting Akutagawa into the bath!" Chuuya ordered.
"It seems that there's no helping it then..." Hirotsu muttered to himself.
"Please don't do it! Don't be so violent with senpai!" Higuchi pushed out of Ren's grip and protested.
"SHUT UP!" Everyone snapped.
"I-I'm sorry...!"
Ren closed her eyes, soaking in the atmosphere and trying to drown out the sounds of everyone talking, but she still paid some attention to the conversation in case she was needed.
"Oh! Ah, this beautiful fragrance! Truly, this is a superb product of nature!" She heard Kajii laughing.
"Hey, Kajii! Hold yourself back, will you?! One guy's too hyped and the other's too deadpan... what's with these people?"
"Now, now... That's just how hot spring baths are." Hirotsu said.
"Well, it sure sounds convincing when you're the one saying it... Huh? Oi, Akutagawa, the hell are you doing using the confusion to try leave?!" Chuuya yelled after Akutagawa.
"Tch..."
"Senpai is very delicate! Please treat him kindly!" Higuchi's voice pierced into Ren's ears, her eyes opening suddenly with a look of annoyance.
"You're being too loud shouting from the women's bath, Higuchi! C'mon, Akutagawa! We're going in! Hey, Black Lizard, help me out!" Chuuya started pulling Akutagawa into the water.
Akutagawa sighed and put his feet into the water briefly, and Chuuya started yelling again.
"Bastard, the fuck are you doing just dipping in your feet and calling it quits? Bathe in it properly and dip your shoulders in! You're not a kid, don't make me say shit like this!"
"Senpai! Please do your best!"
"SHUT UP HIGUCHI!"
"I-I'M SORRY!"
"How is it, Akutagawa? Once you're in the water, it feels good, right?" Chuuya sounded like he was finally starting to relax a little bit.
"It feels wet..." Akutagawa mumbled.
"Isn't that what makes it feel good? It gives you room to wind down and relax."
"Ah... This makes me forget about all the bloodthirsty and violence filled days..." Tachihara sighed.
"Alright, let's get washed up!" Chuuya ordered everybody.
"With this I'll finally be able to get out..."
"Hey, hey, don't be an idiot! We need to wash our bodies properly. Akutagawa, did you bring your soap?"
"I didn't."
"Don't say that so proudly, man."
"Senpai! I've brought your soap here as well!" She waved it up in the air enthusiastically, splashing water around.
"Higuchi's at it again... Higuchi! I'll lend Akutagawa my own so it's fine!"
"No way! After I went through all the trouble of bringing it, waiting to throw it over the wall... I'll just pretend I didn't hear that, and-"
"We can all hear you very clearly, Higuchi." Ren's voice rang out, going to wash with Gin.
"I don't care! Senpai! Here it comes! There!" She tossed the bar over the wall, and it hit something.
"OUCH!" Kajii yelped.
Chuuya laughed for a bit, "Woah, Kajii, are you ok- WAIT WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WEARING?"
"This is the evolution of science! With this, we will be able to open our eyes even when shampooing! Thus, with our eyes unobstructed, we can instantaneously respond to unexpected events!" He cackled as if he'd just discovered the meaning of life.
"Isn't this just a shampoo hat?! Also, 'we can respond instantaneously', you didn't even manage to avoid the soap that came flying over here, you know!" Chuuya yelled.
"Ohohoho, how rapidly the bubbles are forming!"
"He's not even listening to me at all... Akutagawa, your soap's here, so make sure you wash properly!" He turned to Akutagawa. "Hey, you're finishing too fast! Ah geez, I'll do it for you! Come on, give it here! Raise your hand."
"Yes..." Came Akutagawa's reply.
"Seriously, you're not a kid, don't make me take care of you."
"I apologise..."
"It's fine. Then I'll wash down the soap, ok?" Chuuya was acting like a mother towards him, and his tone softened.
"WHAT WAS THAT? The conversation just now? Could it be that you're washing senpai's body?!" Higuchi screeched in protest.
"Quit butting in each and every time, geez... TAKAHASHI, CAN YOU MAKE HER SHUT UP?"
"The only one who can wash senpai's body is m-"
"Gin." Ren ordered and they hit her on the head and she fell asleep, making the women's bath a lot more peaceful.
"Thanks." Chuuya sighed with relief.
"No problem." Ren called back, and she and Gin sighed.
"I will be returning to my room now..." Akutagawa said, trying to get out.
"What do you think you're saying? It's your turn now! Wash my back!" Chuuya yelled.
"I'm still not allowed to leave?!"
"Of course not! We're in a hot spring bath, so let's enjoy it properly! Ah, this is an order from your Executive, ok?" Chuuya commanded.
"But there's another Executive that can override your deci-"
"As another Executive, I order you to listen to Chuuya!" Ren yelled.
"Wha-"
"After we finish washing, you need to sink into the bath up to your shoulders, and count to ten before you can get out!"
"Count to ten?! I'm not a child!"
"You're already causing me a lot more trouble than a child would, you know. Understood? Counting to ten is an Executive order, ok? C'mon, we're going in."
"CHUUYA WHAT ARE YOU, AN EXECUTIVE OR A DAYCARE SUPERVISOR?"
"EXCUSE ME, TAKAHASHI! Up to the shoulder, ok? Now we'll start counting." He turned to Akutagawa. "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, TEN! Hahah! Good, you're free to go." Akutagawa scrambled out of the water and back to his room. "And why the hell did I have to go so far for Akutagawa's sake, anyway?!"
"YOU'RE SUCH A MOM, CHUUYA!" He heard Ren again.
"AND THAT MAKES YOU THEIR SHITTY UNCLE!"
"SAYS THE PERSON WHO CALLED ME THEIR FAVOURITE BIG SISTER WHEN THEY WERE DRUNK!"
"SHUT UP!"
"Cheers!" Everyone clinked their glasses.
"Going to a hot spring, eating luxurious food, drinking sake, this is the best! Tonight let's just forget about Executives and ranks, and enjoy ourselves!" Chuuya took a sip.
"Well then, to further brighten the mood, I shall mix a glass of cocktail for Chuuya-dono and Takahashi-dono!"
"Kajii, you can do that?" Chuuya asked.
"I wouldn't exactly trust him." She said to him.
"For me, Kajii, who manipulates science and chemistry, cocktails are nothing but a piece of cake!" He chuckled.
"Hey, hey... is that really ok?"
"Everything is the same once it goes inside the stomach." Kajii started mixing drinks.
"Well... as long as there aren't any problems..." Chuuya took his drink hesitantly.
"Mm, it tastes good." Akutagawa took a sip.
"You actually drank, Akutagawa?!"
"'You actually drank?', what's so wrong about senpai drinking?! Even senpai has times where he'd crave drinking alcohol! Th-that kind of thing... for you to put it like that...!" Higuchi started bawling her eyes out.
"Hey, hey... is she one of those crying drunk types?" Chuuya had a confused look on his face.
"Oh god... I know you're a talkative drunk though." Ren bopped him on the head.
"What about you?"
"I'm apparently a happy drunk, but only when completely wasted, otherwise I don't show any signs of being drunk according to other people."
"Must be nice..."
"Besides, it's my fault that senpai got hurt... if I had been a better support for him, this could have been avoided."
Higuchi cried out. "I'm so sorry. I'll do my best from now on, so please don't bully him..."
"Ok, ok, I got it! Geez... since we're at a drinking party and all, why don't we play a game?" Chuuya suggested.
"GAME?!" Kajii shouted in delight.
"Is there anything you want to play?" Chuuya asked everyone.
"Ah! How about this game?! 'Common words we Mafioso use' Shiratori!" Tachihara yelled out.
"Oh, that sounds fun! Ok, let's do that!"
"Then, let's start with me! 'Kill everyone you don't recognise! We're the Mafia after all!' 'し' (shi)!" Tachihara said.
"Next, Akutagawa!"
"This sea breeze is suffocating, let's get this over with quickly." He coughed.
"Are you ok?! Get medical treatment properly, ok... next is Higuchi, with 'う' (u)!" Chuuya rushed over to Akutagawa.
"'う'... uh... 'Shut up... Higuchi...'"
"Ohoho! That's quite good! Well then, next is me huh... 'ち' (chi)... 'Tch... there won't be a next time! Remember it well!' How's that? Not bad right?! Then, Hirotsu, it's 'な' (na)!"
"Hmph... 'It's useless even if you cry... your death will be our compensation.'"
"So it's come to that... then, Kajii, with 'う' (u)?" Chuuya motioned for him to speak.
"'UHAHAHA! The decline of the pulse, hypoxia of neurons in the brain, lactic acidosis, death is defined by a countless number of variable forming a complex symphony! Science in its ultimate for is at its most equal to God, both-"
"THAT'S FUCKING LONG! THAT'S ENOUGH! Next, Takahashi! 'し' (shi)"
"'Die, no one plays fair in the game of assassination.'"
"Hey, that's not bad. Next, Gin!" Gin stayed silent. "Say something, man..."
"Don't be such a loner, Gin... We're all enjoying this together so try saying something!" Tachihara goaded Gin, but she still didn't say anything. "What... You pickin' a fight, huh?"
"Stop that, you idiots! Do you want me to report a death by drowning in the hot springs tonight...?" Hirotsu threatened.
"If that happens, Chuuya and I are going to be cleaning up the mess you made." Ren stood in between them, frowning.
"Ok, ok! If there's one of us that won't talk, we can't continue the game... the game is over!" Chuuya announced.
"What should we do next?" Higuchi asked.
"Does anyone have any ideas?"
"Then, how about some scary stories? It's that's fine, I have some stories to tell." Hirotsu said, shrugging.
"Ooh, that sounds good... perfect for a night at the hot springs, isn't it?" Chuuya said.
"I have a feeling this will turn into bragging..." Ren mumbled to herself.
"In that case... the story I'd like to tell is called 'The Vanished Casino'. In a little down, a modest casino had just been opened." He started.
"Well, a casino opening is nothing but modest, no?" Kajii laughed.
"Kajii! Quit the chit chat! Please continue."
"It wasn't really a huge casino by any means. Though it gained reasonable popularity thanks to rumours and connections. One night a young man was visiting the casino. The man was winning and losing, and he played averagely before deciding to leave. Right after he left the casino, he realised her forgot his cigar case on the roulette table. As he turned back to the casino and entered the place... nobody was there anymore."
"Hey, hey... what is this story... it's actually pretty scary, what the hell happened next?!" Chuuya was trembling and latched onto Ren's arm.
"It's not that scary." She shook him off of her, but he came back and held onto her arm again, staring at Hirotsu intently as Ren gave him a weirded out look.
"That casino... was a place that refused a connection with our organisation, so we, the Black Lizard, attacked and took control of it." Hirotsu stated proudly.
"AND EXACTLY WHAT PART OF THAT IS SCARY?!" Chuuya shouted.
"My point exactly." Ren commented.
"They were all slaughtered in merely 30 seconds."
"'Slaughtered in 30 seconds', it's you who's scary to be able to say that like it's nothing!"
"You're clinging onto a person who killed everyone in an organisation and burned down their building in one night, you know." Ren looked down at him, and he shrugged.
"Hmph... Just now didn't you say 'scary'? That was my scary story."
"The fuck are you making a smug face for?! Slaughtered in 30 seconds? For us in the mafia, that's not horror, that's just bragging!" Chuuya protested.
"Well... I guess that's what it is, in a way."
"Hmph... if that's what we're doing, then let me tell a story too!"
"Yeah yeah, we know. You're an Executive. You have plenty of stories to tell."
"Ah, senpai, is the alcohol ok?" Higuchi rushed over to Akutagawa.
"HAHAHA! Lemonade highball is a miraculous beverage worshipped even by God!" Kajii held his glass up in the air.
"Hey, Gin! Make sure to drink too!" Tachihara took a swig of beer.
"Shut up! You guys, aren't you interested in my story?! In case you don't remember, I'm an Executive, you know?!"
"No one's interested. And even the most interesting stories can be summed up in a few words. Case in point: You bitch slapped a dragon with a building. The end." Ren sighed.
"Senpai, what drink would you like to get? Or would you prefer mineral water?"
"Hahahaha! I can feel the lemonade highball seeping into my organs- UHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Oh, Gin, you're taking care of that? Thanks." Ren watched everything slowly become chaos as Chuuya began to get tired.
"Aah, you're totally doing this on purpose. I swear even if I get dead drunk, I won't forget this... AAH GEEZ! LET'S JUST DRINK! LET'S DRINK!" Chuuya poured another glass.
"Might as well have a few more drinks." Ren downed another glass of sake.
"Oh god, they're all passed out from the alcohol." Ren took a sip of her drink.
"Senpai... it's dangerous..." Higuchi coughed.
"Geh, Higuchi?! She didn't return to her room...?! For god's sake this person..." Chuuya looked around.
"Shut up, Higuchi."
"Huh, you're still awake." Ren pointed to Akutagawa.
"I'm not able to rest in a place like this." He grumbled.
"Hah? Well, that's so like you, I guess... Though you don't seem like the type that just gets into bed and says good night, either..." Chuuya said to himself.
"Yes."
"If you're not sleeping, accompany me to the lobby for a bit. Ren, you too. That being said, your people sure are weird... oh, that includes you too, ok." Chuuya said to Akutagawa.
"I don't think I'm weird."
"Things like having an extreme hatred of baths are pretty weird you know? Besides, people that are weird usually don't realise it themselves." He sighed.
"You act like a teenager who solely listens to My Chemical Romance most of the time and thinks they're edgy for being a pessimist who is seeking the recognition of a dude who spends a ridiculous amount of money on bandages." Akutagawa paused.
"That was a bit harsh..."
"Truth hurts."
"Hey, there's some stale bread over there-" Chuuya turned towards a loaf of bread that had gone bad, and Ren immediately tensed up, picking it up with minimal contact and shoving it in the bin, wiping her gloves on her pants, frowning. "What the fuck did stale bread ever do to you?!"
"It's weird, but I have a reason."
"By the way, is your injury ok?" Chuuya turned to Akutagawa. "Like I said, don't push yourself too hard. 'Self-sacrifice is beautiful' and beliefs like that are just lame excuses for people without strength. Maybe Dazai's acknowledging you because you don't get that. He's insufferable, but well, he's sharp witted, and he's the kind of guy that doesn't waste his actions. That's why there must be a reason for him to be so hard on you." Chuuya tried to comfort Akutagawa.
"Without Dazai-san's acknowledgement, I won't have a reason to live..."
"Dazai is Dazai, not some person to put on a pedestal." Ren studied her gloves.
"You got his acknowledgement, right? How did you get it?"
"I managed to understand him emotionally, and then everything kinda just happened. You're jealous of Atsushi because Dazai acknowledges him, but there is a reason. However, I will not give you that reason on a silver platter, so try to figure it out yourself."
"Ok, ok. Then go bathe in the hot springs a few times so you can heal your body and treat it a little better. That way you can do the work that will make Dazai acknowledge you." Chuuya pat him on the back.
"That's..."
"What, you can't? Why are you so against taking baths anyway?"
"...If, for instance, something happens in the middle of bathing, I won't be able to use my ability right away, so..."
"Huh? Well... that's true that you can't use your ability without any clothing... but we're there too, so shouldn't it be ok?"
"Maybe stop relying on your ability so much?" Ren sighed, crossing her arms. "It's useful, but if you're useless without it then what's the point?
"I shouldn't let my guard down at any given moment... is what Dazai-san said."
"Dazai again?! You're really always going 'Dazai, Dazai' all the time, geez..." There was an explosion that shook the ground that seemed to come from another area.
"What was that sound just now?! Let's go!" Chuuya motioned for everyone to go and investigate.
"Oh, Higuchi! Black Lizard!"
"What was that?! That explosion sound just now?!" She ran over.
"No idea. It could be an attack from people who know we're here. Black Lizard, you shouldn't let your guard down." Chuuya said to everybody.
"Understood." Hirotsu nodded.
"That sound came from the hot spring baths, so I think it's-" Ren started.
"MWAHAHAHAHAHA!" Came maniacal cackling.
"Yup. It's Kajii." Everyone sprinted toward the outdoor baths, trying to figure out exactly what he was doing.
"Hm? Everyone, all gathered like that, what's wrong?" Kajii kept laughing.
"It's us who want to ask what's wrong! What the hell are you doing?!"
"To those of inquiring minds, an experiment commercing without being afraid of failure! The efficacy of the harmony between lemons and hot springs will bring forth a brand new miracle of destruction!"
"This is why mad scientist ability users are a pain to deal with." Ren sighed.
"Without further ado, please witness a new world brought forth by the potent harmony of lemons and hot springs! Lemons Bombs: Batch Insertion!" He dropped a ton of lemon bombs into the water.
"Ah, HEY, BASTARD, STOP! YOU IDIOT!"
"RASHOUMON!" Rashoumon devoured up all the bombs, and the entire outdoor area with it.
"We're saved thanks to your Rashoumon... We're all ok, but the outdoor baths are a complete mess now!" Chuuya threw his hands up in the air.
"Within every experiment there is always failure... unrelenting inquisitiveness will lead us to a marvellous outcome!"
"Geez, what are we gonna do with this?"
"With the explosion just now, a huge hole just formed where the outdoor bath is supposed to be..." Higuchi said quietly.
"Hm? What's that sound?! Hey, be careful!" Chuuya pulled her away.
"Hey, hey, something's coming from the ground!" Tachihara shouted.
"This is... could it be..."
"A hot spring?!" Chuuya and Higuchi yelled out.
"Is this because of that inquisitiveness Kajii talked about? Are you telling me he found a hot spring by accident?!"
"It would seem so..."
"HAHAHAHAHA! Witness the power of science!" He laughed.
"I'm gonna have to deal with this, aren't I." Ren took in a deep breath. "Guess I'm always gonna be working in one way or another."
"But what about our business?" The staff member complained loudly. "You completely destroyed the outdoor area!"
"As I explained earlier, our organisation will deal with the damages, though you must be prepared to work with us." Ren explained patiently, scribbling out a clear contract and sliding it towards them.
"Hold on hold on, you've said so many stupidly complicated things that seem to benefit your organisation more than us! Lay out your terms again." One demanded. "The language in the contract is really vague, could you explain it again?"
"SH! You're being rude! I know it's late, but just deal with it." The other whispered back. "They're being patient with us."
"I will attempt to explain it again in laymen's terms. So, in short, if we pay for the compensation, you will be required to be connected to our organisation, and we receive 10% of the profits, though, according to my calculations, if you let the Port Mafia handle the building, then we will make sure profit rises. Rest assured, you will earn as much, if not more than you do now so there is nothing to worry about financially. And in return, you will give us free board equivalent of what you would give normal customers whenever the Port Mafia come over, and there are a few more terms and conditions as laid out in this document. You may not mention that we are your partners openly or else there will be severe consequences. Understood?" Ren finished laying down the terms and conditions, looking up at the staff members and sliding the piece of paper out towards them.
"P-Port Mafia?!"
"You will find benefits working with us. We have a lot of connections as well as control over multiple enterprises. And you do want your building fixed, or am I wrong? Besides, if you refuse connection with us, we have our combat team ready as well as a few high ranking leaders, including myself. I would advise to not get on their bad side." She looked up at them, raising an eyebrow and they signed the paper with a trembling hand.
"A-alright, I'll agree to your conditions. We apologise for keeping you up this late. Have a good night, Miss." They rushed back into their office and Ren sighed, dragging herself up to her room.
"That took way longer than I expected. It's 1am for crying out loud. Better get some sleep and prepare to deal with everyone later." She slipped into her bed, closing her eyes, but she opened her eyes when she heard footsteps.
Grabbing someone's arm, she sat up, looking the person dead in the eye. Her tired expression made her look ever so slightly more terrifying, and Chuuya stepped back.
"What are you doing?"
"Hey-" Chuuya found her looking through his phone. "When did you get that?"
"Oh, so Dazai asked you to take a picture with my permission. I'm too tired to refuse, so no more than two. Night, Chuuya. Forgive me if I'm grumpy tomorrow." She closed her eyes and went under the covers, giving his phone back and Chuuya looked confused for a moment, but took a photo before walking back to his room.
"You really do listen to Dazai, don't you." He did something on his phone and went back to his room. "Good night, Ren."
"EVERYONE, GET UP! WE'RE LEAVING IN THREE HOURS!" Ren opened everyone's door and yelled, going downstairs to get something to eat.
Picking up a piece of bread and sticking it in the toaster, she yawned, hearing everyone else slowly filing in.
"The science behind this simple machine is incredible! Transforming powder into a drink with only water and putting it into a cup for easy and convenient access!" Ren shoved Kajii away and took a cup.
"It's just a coffee machine." She filled up her cup and took a sip, and picked up her toast from the toaster. "Let me get some caffeine into my system before dealing with you punks." She grumbled.
"Oh yeah, you stayed up taking care of our mess." Chuuya said. "We managed to get free board and the owners aren't mad at us."
"That's good." Akutagawa took a sip of water.
"Senpai, is there anything I can get for you?" Higuchi rushed over to him.
"Shut up Higuchi." He muttered. "So how did you manage to get free board?"
"Takahashi stayed up negotiating with the staff. Will Boss ever give us a proper holiday?" Chuuya sighed. "Hey Takahashi! Still grumpy?"
"I'll be fine." She drank her coffee and began eating her food. "I just want to go home."
"We all do." Hirotsu said.
"Senpai! Do you want me to help you bring your belongings back?" Higuchi walked up to Akutagawa.
"Shut up, Higuchi."
"I-I'm sorry!"
Rubbing her forehead, Ren tried to block out all the high pitched noises and checked out while still trying to be polite. Everyone was still making a ruckus behind her as she thanked the staff and started walking to the bus stop where they would be picked up.
"What marvellous scientific findings I have made on this trip! With this, I can make more weapons of mass destruction!" Kajii laughed.
"CAN YOU SHUT UP?" Chuuya yelled, and Ren gritted her teeth.
Her patience was being worn extremely thin, and she didn't have the energy to stay calm, and as they walked further and further, the voices seemed to seep further into her exhausted mind, and something snapped.
"Can everybody be quiet for the rest of the journey? This was supposed to be for relaxation and Akutagawa, not causing a complete and utter pandemonium. This is an Executive order." She hissed.
Her voice was soft, but it was extremely sharp and irriated, and she looked as if she were about to kill everyone who didn't follow her orders, twitching as she resembled a ticking time bomb. Her face clouded over with darkness as she tried to calm herself down. Everyone immediately went silent.
"Are you trying to tell senpai-"
"Enough out of your mouth, Higuchi Ichiyou, before I make life a living hell for your beloved Akutagawa." She turned her gaze towards Higuchi, stepping forward and grabbing her collar, gritting her teeth and trembling with annoyance, and it felt like she was a split second away from slamming her head into the nearest brick wall with no remorse.
"Tch." She scowled at Higuchi, letting her go and almost shoving her back into her seat.
The rest of the ride back to headquarters was almost completely quiet, and Ren seemed to be in a not so pleasant mood which made everyone extremely cautious. Whenever someone said something unnecessary she would shoot them a death glare that reflected the terror an experienced killer, a silent, seething anger that seemed to radiate off her and seemed to ooze out, infecting everyone, and even Hirotsu and Chuuya seemed afraid, as everyone moved cautiously. She looked to be completely dead on the inside, and when they got back to headquarters, she and Chuuya went straight to Mori's office.
"Did you two enjoy yourselves?"
"'Enjoy' is a bit of an overstatement." Ren sighed.
"A bit...? She's absolutely terrifying when she's pissed off! But I can't really blame her." Chuuya stepped away from her, trembling at her annoyed expression.
"That's a shame. I'll give you both a proper break. How about you get the week off to do whatever you want that's not work related? You have done a lot for the organisation and the Port Mafia's anniversary is coming up soon. I'll give you both a break after then." He suggested, seeing Ren's exhausted expression.
"That would be much appreciated." Chuuya answered for her.
"Good. You are dismissed." She and Chuuya caught up on paperwork resulting from the incident, which left them both drained.
Ren immediately walked outside, heading to her apartment while downing another cup of coffee, her eyes lifeless.
"That was hell..." She muttered to herself as she felt someone tap her on the shoulder. "If you're trying to sell me a vacuum cleaner then shoo."
"You look tired. What happened?" Dazai asked, slightly concerned as he saw the bags under Ren's hollow, bloodshot eyes.
"Higuchi kept screaming 'senpai', Akutagawa wouldn't shut up about you, Tachihara wanted to kill everyone, Hirotsu bragged, Chuuya and I had to attempt to wrangle them together, Kajii almost blew up the outdoor area and Akutagawa destroyed them to stop him from blowing them up; but then it turned out that there was an actual hot spring but quite a bit of the building was estroyed so I stayed up negotiating with the staff then I woke up 5 hours later to wake everyone up, shut everyone up, then go home I silence while threatening Higuchi. Seven cups of espresso and five stacks of paperwork later, here we are. I apologise if this sounds like complaining." Tilting her head back to drink the last few drops, she collapsed into Dazai's arms, asleep.
He barely caught her, picking her up and bringing her back to his place, laughing to himself. Setting her down on his bed, he cupped her cheek, smiling gently. Brushing the bangs that usually covered her left eye out of her face, he took a moment to watch her sleep, which was better than any view a photo would've given him.
"You're asleep. It feels like there are so many sides of you that no one knows, but slowly seeing them one by one feels rewarding. There are times when you're vulnerable, and no one knows when you feel like that, but when you do, you can come to me, and I'll protect you from anything. There's no need to be strong all the time. You worked tirelessly, and look where you are now. You may not be proud of your achievements, but I am. You gave me a reason to live, something I wanted to protect, and a shoulder to cry on, so I'm grateful for that. Also, do you still have うさぎさん？(Mr. Rabbit ig) Actually, you probably don't remember. 愛している。(I love you)" He grinned, standing up.
"And this is the Midnight Shadow, one of the most feared assassins and spies in Japan."
- - -
over 6000 words.
Most of the dialogue up to a certain point was from the Onsen CD for the Port Mafia, which you can find on YouTube if you're interested, and I found a document with the translations so I used that. I originally just put this as a random thing in one of my documents, then decided to make it an actual chapter.
Also it felt really weird titling a chapter as 'Onsen' because I feel like I'm unwillingly promising sexual tension that will not be there, but I don't care. It's truth in advertising. They're at an onsen, so no complaining.
So... Ren got pissed for the first time. It's not a flamboyant rage where she destroys everything and screams, but it's more just silent, and you're afraid of what will happen if you do something wrong. It's the mind imagining what the actual fuck she'll do that stops you from doing anything to make her any more upset, but she lashed out at Higuchi, who is probably terrified for the rest of her life of making Ren mad while she's internally screaming like くぁwせdrftgyふじこlp.
Ren's expression doesn't change, but it's the really cold, vacant look that's like "Oh I'm gonna fucking murder you"
She makes fun of Chuuya, and exposes him I guess. They do bully each other, but they still care, like bickering siblings, which is how I'd best describe it.
Akutagawa's so angsty in this so I decided to make a few roasts at his expense.
I've unofficially called these chapters 'Mori trying to give Ren a holiday and failing miserably
Edit: When Dazai mentions the rabbit, I'm referring to something that I wrote for season 3. It's a bit complicated but Ren's parents actually have names, so I'll try to explain quickly.
Ren's mother was Aoki Chizue, a struggling actress who was praised for her looks but had mediocre acting skills. She made her debut at 23, where a news article was written about her performance. At 24, she met and fell in love with Takahashi Haruki and they got married, and they had Kazumi and Ren.
Ren's father was Takahashi Haruki, a salaryman who really had nothing special about him, but he was acquainted with a wealthy landowner who lived in the Aomori Prefecture (Dazai's father).
When Ren was around 1 she and her family visited the Aomori Prefecture, visiting Gennemon's (Dazai's irl dad) mansion where she met Dazai for the first time when she was 1 and he was 3. She started crying because he wouldn't give her a rabbit toy which she'd nicknamed 'Mr. Rabbit' but Dazai suggested a game they could play (House) and ended up giving her the toy after that first visit, where she wanted to be 'divorced' since he was mean and didn't give her the toy. She visited there two more times, where she and Dazai would exchange the toy, and on the third visit, she essentially 'called off the divorce', and Dazai suggested that they get married irl, and she's like 'ok sure ig', they promise, and she takes the toy, but he doesn't see her again until they're teenagers.
Kids say weird shit.