(whoops! I thought this was a Becca chapter!)
"It's time for lunch sweetheart" I said poking my head into my room where Rae was curled up on my bed reading a book.
"No." she said looking at me for a second before turning back to her book.
"You barely ate your breakfast pea, you have to eat lunch." I said softly.
"Not hungry." she said, turning so her back was facing me.
"I set your plate on the table" I said reaching for my phone as it started to ring "It's waiting for you when you are ready." I said walking away and answering the call.
"How's everything going over there?" April asked, it had been a few days since Rae had transitioned back and things had not been the smoothest.
"Ummmmm"I said scratching the back "hectic."
"What does that mean?" she asked in confusion.
"It means I have never met this Riley and I don't know how to be with her or how to work with her." I said.
"What does that mean?" she repeated.
"I said that wrong" I groaned "I love Raelynn. Big or little, I don't care because she is my little girl. But I think she is mad and confused and scared and mad and it shows in her attitude. And let me tell you she's got more attitude than any 5 foot 99 pound little girl should have." I said with a laugh. "She wants to be little again and I want her to be little again, but only because she wants it so bad. Obviously I love little Raelynn but if she was big for the rest of our lives I would be happy."
"Have you told her this?" she asked.
"Yes!" I said in frustration "multiple times everyday. I think I have a plan, but it's totally crazy, and could backfire."
"What's the plan?" She asked.
"I'm going to ask Mrs. Carter to come live in code 2" I said after a second "There's a three bedroom house for sale down the road from our house that I think would be perfect for her."
"Thats actually a really good idea." April said.
"I know we like Little Steps" I said after a second "but I figured we could ask her to watch the kids when we were at work. That way she can get some sort of income and spend time with the kids."
"Another good idea." she said.
"Do you think you can watch her so I can contact her without worrying about any eavesdroppers?"
"Of course, drop her off anytime" before I could say anything else I heard her whisper something and then she said "I have to go Bec's Max just woke up from his nap. Tell me what she says."
I sighed as I walked into the kitchen and saw that Raelynn had still not come out to eat her lunch,I knew why she was upset and refusing meals but I didn't know how to help her. Raelynn was in the routine of nursing before most meals and before bed and now that it stopped she was having troubles with both. I told her that she could still nurse if she wanted to, that big or little she was still my baby, but once again her father got into her head and she said no thanks Becca I'm not a baby.
I'm not a baby is the new catch phrase at our house. She won't take naps because she's not a baby. I had to convince her to wear pull ups because she's not a baby, but she didn't usually make it to the toilet on time now that she was so used to diapers. She doesn't play in the playroom because she's not a baby and she's only seen Max once.
"Raelynn" I said walking back into my room "I need you to eat lunch so we can go to April's house for a bit okay."
"Don want to go." she said with a frown.
"I know baby, but Ma-I have to do a few things and-"
"I'm not a baby Becca!" she yelled sitting up and looking at me "and I don't need a babysitter."
"I know sweetheart." I said sitting down next to her and running my fingers through her hair. I smiled as she climbed in my lap and rubbed her face against my chest with a sniff. Even through her anger and attitude she hasn't lost her need for Mama snuggles and I was thankful for that.
"I wanna stay with you Mom" she said taking me by surprise as she looked up at me with tearfilled eyes.
"Okay baby, I'll figure something else out." I said rubbing her back, before she could lay her head back on my chest I gently grabbed her chin and turned her face to look at me "and I understand that you were upset, but that doesn't excuse the way you just spoke to me okay?" I asked "You always talk to people with respect and kindness. Do you understand?"
"Yes Mom" she said with a nod "I understand, and I'm really sorry."
"I forgive you baby" I said kissing her nose "What do you say we go eat your lunch, clean up that mess you made in the living room this morning, and then go out and get some ice cream."
"Sorry about the mess." she said looking up at me with a sheepish smile.
"Let's talk about it during lunch," I said, helping her off the bed and leading her towards the kitchen. "Why don't you tell me what was going through your mind when you were in the living room?" I asked when she started eating her sandwich. Riley has always had a limit on the amount of screen time she gets everyday. This morning she was watching TV from the moment she woke up and when I reminded her of the time frame she freaked out and started destroying the room around her. She pushed things off the tables, through them at the wall tore the cushions off the couch. I watched her in shock until she tried to punch a hole in the wall and then knew I had to calm her down. Once she calmed down I decided to leave the room as it was so we could clean it together when she had fully calmed down.
"I don't know Mom" she said with big eyes "At first I was mad, so so mad. At you, at me, at this situation. But then I was confused, my brain kept saying all of these things and I couldn't get it to stop. I didn't even know what I was doing until I heard you whispering in my ear." she said "I wasn't lying when I said I didn't mean to."
"I believe you baby" I said as she finished up her food and we walked into the living room "let's finish up quick in here so we can get that ice cream." I watched as she ran around the room putting everything away before looking at me with a smile.
"Ice cream?" she asked with a small head tilt.
"Go put your shoes on" I said sighing when she turned to the door. I rubbed my temple in defeat, if ice cream couldn't excite her I didn't know what could
"What do you say we walk?" I asked as she ran to the backseat of the car "It's not too far."
"Okay," she said, running to me and taking my hand. We walked to the shop in a comfortable silence swinging our arms back and forth in an exaggerated motion smiling when she let go of my hand and ran towards the shop when we were close.
"What do you want swe-" I turned around in a panic when I didn't see her around me. I quickly walked to the side of the building and stopped in my track when I saw her laughing as small dog licked her face.
"What's his name?" she asked the couple who owned the dog.
"His name is Bubba" They said, smiling as she laughed when Bubba licked her face again.
"Rae" I said slowly walking up to them and running my fingers through her hair "you can't run off like that, you scared me."
"Sorry Mom" she said looking up at me with a big smile "I got distracted by the dog."
"I see that" I said smiling "why don't you give them back there dog so we can get our ice cream." I smiled as she pouted and handed them the dog back and we walked to the counter.
"Did you see how cute he was Mom?" she asked in excitement "Not as cute as Buddy, but a close second." she said with a giggle.
I watched her sitting there and cringed to myself as I realized I was about to do something I swore to never do. But to be fair she hasn't smiled like this in close to a week, what am I supposed to do.
"Where are we going?" Rae asked as we walked the opposite way of home." she gasped in surprise and looked up at me with big eyes when we stopped in front of the town's shelter.
"Now if we go in here and get a dog, I need you to promise me that you are going to take care of them." I said, trying not to smile at her excited face. I was going for the serious face, I wanted her to know I meant business. "That means you have to feed them, and bathe them, and take them for walks."
"I can do all that!" she said with a smile "I promise."
"Well then lets go." I said smiling as she squealed in excitement and ran into the shelter's door.
Hey friends! Sorry for the SUPER slow updates. I've been having difficulties getting my creative juices flowing but I love all my books and have no intentions of not completing them! I have the story lines mapped out and know where I want to go, its just a matter of getting there. I love all of the comments and posts and remember to stay safe and healthy out there!