"𝑵𝒆𝒗𝒂 𝑪𝒂r𝒆𝒅"
ALI | aliana
2020
Spelman📍
(continued)
"Your phone been ringing." I felt a tap on my shoulder.
I grabbed my phone and saw 7 missed calls from Riri. This wasn't the first time I stayed at someone else's house while Riri had someone over. I didn't really mind because I knew she would return the favor. I just didn't like everyone I fucked with knowing where I lived.
It was 10 in the morning. I was glad it was a Sunday so I didn't have to rush home to get to class.
"I didn't mean to crash her last night, sorry." I looked over at Mar who was at the other end of the bed wearing a red nike pull over.
"You good."
I got up and looked around for my stuff, but I couldn't find my purse.
"Mar, have you seen my purse?"
He got on his knees and stretched his arm out under his bed. When the hell did he do that?
"My fault, I was high and it's a habit." Never would I have thought that I'd see this man embarrass.
But a habitat? I get living in the hood and having to hide your shit, but this seemed deeper than that. But it didn't concern me, so I looked past it.
"No you're fine, thanks." I gave him a small smile.
It had a double meaning pooh.
"Ight, well I'm finna go and don't let no more city girls in here cause, if I was bout it, I would've took your shit."
"Ali, man, go on." He tried to hide a smile.
I walked into the living room and, of course, Jay's goofy ass was sitting on the couch with some hot chips.
"Gimme that girls insta. You ain't got no business tryna give her some type of infection." I laughed.
"Nah, I swear she deserves it. You want some? It's real sneaky too." Jay said with a red tongue.
"Nope, but I'll see you." I waved and went through the door.
I walked back to my dorm thinking about how weird last night was. I liked chilling with Mar and I tried to stay out of his business, but I really did want to know why he was the way he was. From his room, to his temper, and then my purse.
If we kept hanging out, I could tell we'd get along. Smoking with him last night was surprisingly cool. We didn't really say much but there wasn't awkwardness. I liked his company and his hospitality.
MAR | leo
Ali left and in the late afternoon I was freshening up to get ready to go to my therapist. I never let a girl stay with me before but it wasn't like that, she was chill and I wouldn't mind her coming over again. She wasn't the type of girl to pry or do some crazy shit to get my attention.
As much as I tried be nonchalant, I hoped she wasn't alarmed by my anger issues or anything else I did. That was why I didn't like people in my house.
I hopped in my black BMW and made my way to my therapist. When I got to Atlanta, at first I tried to deal with my mental health on my own, but that backfired on me after 2 weeks and I had to find someone.
When I got to the her office, Dr. Davis, was sitting there with her legs crossed. She was an average looking red head with small glasses. Though she looked only about ten years older, she wasn't my type.
"Good afternoon, Mar. How are you today?"
"I'm good, you?"
"Great thanks for asking! Okay, so let's get right into this. On a scale of one to ten how bad has your anger effected you since our last session?" She took out her note pad.
"Um bout a 5."
"Okay, so it's went down. What have you been doing different recently?"
"I've been counting more often and that's helped a lot, doc."
We talked about ways I could calm myself down and some more of my triggers before she relaxed a bit. Davis was my favorite therapist so far.
"So, whats happened with you and Maya? Anyone new?" She leaned forward.
"Doc, she was tryna trap me. Like get me to get her pregnant." Davis bulged her eyes out her head.
"You don't want that, right? You said she was a 'treesh'."
I actually laughed at doc.
"Yea, I did cause she is. She's the last person I would want to have my kids. And there's no one new but I met a girl, and she seems like she'll be a cool person to hang with sometimes." I thought about Ali.
"Ooooh, do tell more."
"We met at the gas station, and we talked about which flavors of woods we liked. Yesterday, I saw her and her friend there again." I explained the rest to her.
"So you're worried about her being weirded out by you? Absolutely, bonkers!"
I know this bitch did not just say bonkers. I'm finna use that.
"Did she seem weirded out?"
"No but-"
"Mar, I've already told you to stop overthinking and being so critical of yourself. From what you've told me, it seems like she's liking the beginning of your friendship as well."
This was why I fucked with Dr. Davis. She always made me looks at stuff a different way and I wasn't afraid to talk to her. Ali was curious yesterday, not weirded out.
"Yea, you right."
On my way out, I called Jay telling him to come outside.
When I got back, Jay was standing on the curb with a duffel bag.
"You needa drive faster next time. Had me standing outside looking like a damn hitch hiker! I was on facetime giving someone a thumbs up and some old white man stopped right in front of me."
"Shouldn't of had your thumb up while standing on the curb." I shrugged.
"Anyways, lemme guess. We bout to hit up Slick spot?"
"Yessirrr. I let him get away with trying to fuck with me for too long, so I'm bout to light his shit up and dip. Ion care what happens after cause I already told that bitch ass nigga."
"Period pooh."
"Jay-" I turned my head from the road to look this nigga in his eyes.
"I ain't even say nothing."
A few minutes later, we were pulling at Slick's house. This dumbass ran half of his shit out the place he slept. Couldn't be me.
As we drove by Jay stuck his glock out the window, sending countless shots to the green building, and I did the same with my free hand.
"I missed doing shit like that." I smirked.
That lowkey let out a bunch of my pent up anger. I was a monk now.
We arrived back home and I pulled out some of my notes to study from. I was majoring in business because I wanted to leave the streets behind and fend for myself. I didn't want my kids to have to go through the same things I did.
A lot of my problems were caused by my parents though, because who pretends their kid doesn't exist? When they finally did realize I had to be taken care of, I was put into foster care. I still kept in contact with my grandma though. She felt guilty about not doing what she should have.
But, even if I wasn't put into foster care, I still would've had an unfit mother and a deadbeat father. All I knew was, my kids wouldn't get that. They'd get love and care.