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Brace yourself and don't forget to comment on your favourite part (;
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Zara was working mechanically. She washed herself and scratched her wrists to the point that they were turned red and started to bleed. She was supposed to feel pain but she didn't. Because the only emotion that she was feeling right now was fear, of unknown and a wide spectrum of possibilities of everything that could have gone wrong.
Kabir was her saviour today and if he didn't arrive on time then something worse could have happened. She sat on her bed staring into oblivion when she heard a knock and looked up to see him standing on the door frame.
"Sunshine, are you alright?" He asked and Zara felt as if she could breathe easily.
"I'm fine." She said in a low voice.
"You do know that he can't touch you ever again." He said and kneeled in front of her observing her hands as if knowing that they are wounded.
Zara just nodded, realising that as long as he is with here, she is safe. What happens after he leaves is a different story.
"Where is the first aid?" He asked and she pointed on the bed side. He took out the ointment and gently applied it on her wrist.
Don't make it impossible for me to fall out in love with you Kabir. I'm just a simple girl. Zara thought looking at his wordless care and concern.
"Now listen to me carefully. Do not cry for that man ever again. He doesn't deserve a minute of your time. He does not deserve to be called a man if he thinks he could overpower a woman on the basis of physical strength. So do not shed a tear for him, okay?" He explained and the words finally started registering in her brain.
He sat near her and started speaking.
"Now I can assure you that there won't be a next time by him. But men like him all around. So, if God forbids the situation comes again then you are not just supposed to stand there and cry.
Crying is weakness and men like him feed on it. It won't solve any problem. It will just make you look weak in front of them.
So, if you feel even a bit uncomfortable, just kick him hard between his knees and it will give you enough time to run away.
Never keep your phone switched off. Always keep your GPS on. And keep me on your speed dial. You feel as much as one per cent of insecurity around someone, you are calling me.
And we will work on you learning some basic defence techniques. It's important in today's time. Are you understanding me?" Kabir asked.
Bir was right. She can't let someone take advantage of her like that. She needed to be strong enough to protect herself in any situation. Crying won't solve anything.
"Now are you feeling good? I would like to see a smile, Sunshine." He asked smiling gently and Zara finally smiled.
She thanked God for saving her and sending Kabir on time. She was safe with him.
"Thanks Bir. Thank you so much for coming here and saving me. And thanks a lot for those words." She said.
"Now that you are well, we could start packing." Kabir said whistling coolly and Zara got confused.
"Packing for what?" Zara asked.
"Packing your stuff. You are moving in with me."
Kabir casually dropped the bomb and Zara's eyes widened in shock at his words.
***
"I'm moving in with you?" Zara asked not understanding his words.
"That's what I said. I don't like to repeat myself Sunshine. Where are your bags?" He asked looking around and finally spotted one.
"I can't move in with you. That's not right, right?" She asked still feeling bewildered.
"Would you rather live in this apartment whose security system is so shitty that it took them so long to reach out to help you?" He countered folding his hands.
"I...I.. I mean I could complain and..." Zara tried to explain but who was she kidding.
She knew that she can't win against him.
"You are going to complain so that nothing like this happens in future but that's not the point. These things will take time. Will you feel safe in staying alone meanwhile?" He asked and Zara didn't have words.
"I could live with someone else." She tried to say.
"Name me one person whom you know here and with whom you would share your problem?" Kabir countered her again.
God! This guy. It was an impossible to keep her point of view in front of him.
"But what will people think?" Zara finally asked her doubt and felt his eyes getting angrier at her words. She shouldn't have said that.
"People will say the shit they always say. Will you please stop thinking about what others would think? Where were this people one hour ago when you actually needed them? Where were they when you were shivering like a leaf and crying rivers? So stop thinking about them, will you? The whole life you live thinking about what people will think and regret not doing what you actually want.
Don't waste your life in regrets Sunshine. You are moving in with me. That's final. I have guest room and you will live there till we find a secure place for you.
Or would you rather want me to talk to sweetie pie and ask her to take care of you?" Kabir finally played the card which he knew she can't reject.
No! Zara didn't want to go and live with Dr. Sanaa. She was lovely but Zara didn't have that understanding with her to talk to her about what happened. She can't do that.
And also, Kabir was right. She was stopping herself only because of the fear of what people will say. Otherwise she knew that she needed company because the minute he will leave, she will break down.
So, with those thoughts in her mind, she nodded her head in agreement and saw his relaxed smile.
What she didn't realise in that moment was that she had opened a whole new door of possibilities with this agreement.
The choices that will change her fate.
***
Both Zara and Kabir have taken leave from hospital as the weekend was near and he helped her in moving in. He also informed Dr. Mittal about the incident and Arun got suspended from the hospital.
Zara still hadn't filed a police complaint against him and Kabir kept quiet for a while not wanting to pressurise her yet. But he will eventually.
Arun deserved to be punished. Crime against woman can't go unpunished.
Kabir noticed that Zara had been abnormally quiet since that incident and knew that she was still trying to absorb everything.
He helped her unpack her last boxes and she retired to her room, feeling awkward and tired. He knew that with time she will learn to accept reality.
Her only reality from today.
The silence in the house kept on going for next two days. She made breakfast for them but ate it before he came from gym. He made lunch but she took it to her room when he was not around. She made dinner and ate when lights of his room switched off. It was as if they were two strangers forced together.
Zara felt like she was being a burden on him even though he himself suggested the idea but she never lived in someone else's home. So she felt it weird, especially considering her feelings for him which always made her guarded around him and now he was everywhere.
It was sweet but overwhelming.
It was Saturday and apart from passing casual smile and small talks, they were still silent. Zara has started taking her anti-anxiety meds once again but she knew that she has to stop before she becomes an addict.
Again.
She was almost on the verge of addiction when she was in her teenage.
The pills were her relief. She felt incredibly lighter after taking them. They helped to keep the nightmares away but that was not right. So from then, she didn't keep more than ten pills with her, hoping that it will stop her on time.
Kabir has enough of her silence and decided that it was time. He came earlier than his usual timing for gym and as expected she was startled seeing him.
"Get ready. We need to go somewhere. I need one more doctor with me. You have one hour. Bring your steth with you." Kabir said and went inside his room to get ready, without waiting for her reply.
Zara looked at his door for few seconds before getting up. She didn't question him because he didn't give her any chance too. Also, may be practising medicine might divert her mind from the current obliviousness.
They entered the Hope Orphanage after two hours.
Her Solace.
She knew that he brought her to his favourite place but coincidently he brought her to one of her favourite places too.
"We are doing a free check-up today. They need doctors. You alright with volunteering?" He asked though he knew the answer.
"Where do I begin?" She asked, smiling for the first time in three days.
"That's Mr. Omar over there. He knows we are coming. He is the manager of this orphanage but likes to be called Uncle Omar. He will give you the tour and explain everything. So talk to him and then join me." He said and Zara nodded and got out from the car and started walking.
"Sunshine..." He called her.
"What Bir?" She asked with a smile.
"Keep on smiling like this. It suits you." He said and walked in direction of Uncle Omar's office, leaving her rooted to her place for few seconds before she shook her head and started smiling.
She entered the manager's room after few seconds and noted an elderly man talking to Kabir with fondness. She greeted him.
"Uncle Omar, She is Dr. Zara Inayat Ali. We talked about her earlier today. Sunshine, Uncle Omar, the manager of this place from past forty years." Kabir introduced them and the old man looked at her with fondness and that reminded Zara about her dad.
He also used to look at her like this, with a mixture of happiness and pride in his eyes.
"Welcome child! Come on let me show you around. Kabir go and meet your friends they are waiting for you from one month. I'll give Zara a tour of this place." He said and Kabir looked at Zara and she nodded.
She needed to get away from Kabir. There was too much of him already.
"Come on daughter." He said and took her outside in the garden.
"You are a talented doctor, I heard." And Zara smiled.
"I try to be good one." She replied.
"Modest too." He added.
"I don't know if I'm modest or not but my dad was. So, I try to be little bit like him." Zara said with a smile.
"He must be proud of you." Uncle Omar said smiling.
"He was and he made sure that I know it. But he couldn't be more proud than I am about him." Zara talked fondly. It felt good to talk about her father.
"You love him. I guess you are a reflection of him." Uncle Omar said and her eyes watered.
His words meant so much to her because finally someone thought of her like her dad and not like her mother.
That was the root cause of her childhood anxiety attacks. People called her names and compared her constantly to her mom because she looked like her.
"You talk so much like him." Zara said remembering how her father used to talk to her to take away her anxiety and make her feel secured.
"You can think of me as your guardian, you know. I'm quite a good one. You can ask those little ones." He said smiling and that made her smile too.
"I'll be honoured to have you as my guardian." Zara said appreciatively and Mr. Omar smiled like a wise man he was.
They were now in the playground where there were few swings but it was empty.
"Where are the kids, Uncle?" Zara asked.
"Meeting their BB." Uncle Omar replied and Zara smiled. Well Kabir didn't let anyone call him Bir but kids called him BB, short for Bir Bro.
"Judging by the smile on your face, I could assume you know the full form of BB." Uncle Omar asked with a knowing smile and Zara felt as if she was caught stealing.
"How did you start this place?" Zara asked trying to change the topic and Mr. Omar noticed it but just smiled as if knowing some secret.
"I didn't start this place. I'm just the manager, dear. It's run by board of trustees." Mr. Omar replied.
"But you are a part of the board, aren't you?" Zara asked and he looked at her with a surprised smile.
"That's not how Kabir introduced me." He asked with a smile.
"I read it outside your office. The board of director's names are hanging on the wall outside. Your name is on second place." Zara simple replied and Mr. Omar was impressed with her observation skills.
"I found it interesting to see a female's name on the top of list. The list is quiet old. A female taking such a big initiative, forty years ago is fascinating." Zara said and Mr. Omar smiled fondly.
"My wife was always ahead of her time." He simply said and Zara looked up in surprise. A husband keeping his wife above him was a rare thing in those times when patriarchy was on full swings.
"She was perfect woman, made me a better man. I was an estranged young man, lost in the superficial stuff. She changed me for better." He said and then they walked in the direction of the main building.
"She must be really good." Zara said.
"She was indeed. We didn't have any child of our own and that made her sad but then she decided why to spend life mourning for something which we can't have. Why not go ahead and accept the blessings that Lord has offered us? So instead of three kids whom we initially wanted to have, we now have above two hundred kids, till now.
They might not be our own but they all are like our kids only. When she died two years ago, her last wish was that this orphanage should never stop. I'm trying my best to fulfil her wish." Mr. Omar said and Zara felt in awe of their story. They now reached on first floor outside the hall.
How good these people were? Instead of complaining of what they don't have, they dedicated their life in making the best of what they have!
And here she was complaining of small things... Running away from her problems and feelings.
She should stop getting worried over what could have happened and thank Lord for all that he has given her.
She closed her eyes to say a quick thanks to God and opened them when she heard a tune coming into her ears. The melody was familiar and she didn't need to open her eyes to see who was playing.
But she did open them and the scene in front of her was so pure, so serene that she can't help but gaze at it like a lost wanderer does when he finally sees light after centuries of darkness.
Kabir was playing his guitar sitting on the chair and children were circling around him, few of them running, small ones but most of them sincerely listening to him.
He kept his guitar on one side and took one of the little girls in his arms before twirling her in the air and seeing that all the kids started demanding the same and he agreed to each of them.
And even though Zara has seen him doing similar things in the past her heart fluttered with an unknown rush and her entire body vibrated in the symphony of it.
For once in her entire life her body, mind and soul were in agreement.
There was no confusion in this moment, nor was there any anxiety and nervousness.
She knew that this moment was coming, few days back and thought that she will have a panic attack when it comes but what she was feeling wasn't a panic attack.
Infact it was just the opposite of it.
It was as if all the tension in her body was leaving her. For once in her life she didn't need any medicine to make her feel good.
The truth made her feel good. The truth that...
She was in love with her Bir.
***
Finally! A long chapter <3
Zara's realisation is so beautiful, isn't it?
Uncle Omar's thinking is awesome, isn't it? We need positive people like him so much (:
Also, #birzara living together? Bir is really stepping up and this is just the beginning. Things are going to be interesting (;
So vote, comment and leave your feedbacks!