L O V I N G
L A K Y N
I AWOKE NATURALLY due to the light beaming through the windows. There was a warmth that today held, it was nice. Calming. I sat up in my bed, expecting to see Lakyn next to me, but he was not there. After concluding that he probably went out to fetch breakfast, like most mornings, I got out of bed and made it neatly.
I used my hands to brush my hair back, securing it in a ponytail as I sighed, walking into the bathroom. For the first time in a while, I actually mustered up enough energy to shower alone. Stepping into the shower, I turned the faucet on hot.
I savored the warmth that the water gifted, washing my hair and my body, brushing my teeth and shaving where it was needed, then I turned the shower off and exited, wrapping a fluffy white towel around my petite frame.
I waddled back into our bedroom, noticing that even after being in the shower for almost thirty minutes, he was still not back.
Worry filled me as I sat down on the edge of the bed, grabbing my phone and calling Lakyn's contact.
The line barely run twice before he answered and my ears were blessed with the smooth sound of his deep voice. "Hey, Vi." he spoke, sounding as though he was shuffling around. "You okay?"
I narrowed my eyes. "Yes, I am fine." I answered him. "Where are you?" I asked curiously. I did not mean to sound nosey, but he rarely leaves without saying anything and he rarely leaves for so long.
I am not overly attached; I just need to know that he is okay. After my mother. . .I get worried. I have learnt that your whole world can get turned upside down so quickly and after falling for him, I cannot deal with losing him too. My mother was my everything, but Lakyn, he is my human.
"Uh," he paused, his breathing sounding awfully loud. "I'm—I'm with Hale."
I clenched my jaw, wishing that he could see the murderous glare I was currently giving the wardrobe as I imagined that it were him. "Hale?" I repeated. "Why could I not come?"
"Sweetheart, you were asleep and—"
I cut him off. "Oh, please." I stopped him, anger boiling beneath my skin. "You are selfish, Lakyn. You can see Hale, but I cannot?"
I heard him groan. It turned me on slightly, any sound he makes does, but I chose to ignore it. Now is not the time. I just have not gotten my morning sex yet.
"It isn't even about that." he remarked.
I raised an eyebrow, despite him being unable to see me. "Then what is it about?" I pressed. "You could have at least texted me, so that I knew where you were. God, if you do not want me around, just say so."
"I do want you around, fuck." he responded, anger apparent in his low tone of voice. "Sorry I just wanted you to sleep. You know. . .after last night I thought I would be doing you a favor." he said and I could practically hear the smirk in his voice, I also heard Hale make a sound feigning disgust in the background and I smiled at his immaturity.
My cheeks flushed with red as I recalled the events of last night. "Well, then. I will do you a favor and not let that happen again, that way you have no excuse to go and see my best friend without me."
I know that he is our mutual best friend, but that is just more reason to bring me.
"Aw, come on, Violet." he whined like a child.
I shook my head, sighing. "I was scared." I admitted.
The line went quiet for a moment before he spoke softly. "Shit, I'm sorry, sweetheart." he said, sounding pained. "I'm fine, okay? And I'll be home soon."
I sighed. "Okay." I responded, no longer angry. "Tell Hale that I said hi."
"I will." Lakyn said and I think that I heard Hale shouting out 'hi' back to me in the background, though it was slightly muffled. "I love you."
I smiled, still not used to hearing him say that. I honestly pray that I never do, because every time those three words leave his lips, butterflies appear in the pit of my stomach. "I love you too."
"Pussy!" Hale shouted and I rolled my eyes.
I hear Lakyn huff. "Fuck off, man. At least I'm getting it." he shouted back at his best friend and then the line went dead.
I miss their banter. I miss their friendship. I miss my friends.
Whether or not he is home soon, I am bored. I have been stuck within these four walls for weeks and it is beginning to get suffocating. I am bored out of my mind, I just need some air.
I slipped into a thin skirt with a minimalistic floral pattern, then a baby-blue cardigan which tied across the center of my chest, leaving my mid-drift and décolletage exposed. Lastly, I put on my Nike's and quickly snapped a photo of my appearance, posting it on my Snapchat story, just as it uploaded, my phone turned off and I groaned, realizing that it died due to Lakyn winning custody over the charger last night.
I plugged it in, groaning in annoyance before placing it down on the nightstand and walking downstairs.
"Marley!" I shouted, looking around for the golden retriever of which has become my best friend.
On que, she ran through the doggy door, her tongue hanging out as she panted, her tail wagging back and forth as I grabbed her blue lead, attaching it to her collar. We walked out of the front door and around the side of the house.
It felt good being outside, breathing in the cold crisp air. I almost smiled at the sight of the green grass, flowers littering the ground as the temperatures rose slowly but surely. It felt like a spring day today, the rays of sun beaming down as the clouds left the sky open and blue.
As I walked around the front of the house, I noticed Matte exiting his luxurious Porsche along with Lexi whom hopped out of the back seat, holding a barbie doll which had a terrifying haircut.
"Lila!" Lexi squealed, running over to me, her little white dress blowing in the wind as she wrapped her small arms around my legs.
I smiled down at her. "Hey, Lex." I greeted her.
I strongly dislike children. They require too much, the majority of the time they are filthy and they are walking brain cell killers, but Lexi is an exception. She is what I pray that my children turn out like. Smart, polite, mature. If you knew her personality but could not see her, you would think that she is far older, though her attention span is a little short, but I suppose that is a family trait because Lakyn could be dead asleep at three AM and suddenly he forgets the time and goes straight down to his beloved PlayStation.
Lexi scurried past me, seeming eager to get inside as she ran ahead of her father, whom quickly locked his car up then turned his attention to me, a tight smile on his lips.
I knew that it was faux because it is the exact same smile that I give ninety-five-percent of the human population.
"Is Lakyn home?" he asked, stopping a few steps in front of me.
I shook my head, shifting my weight from one foot to another as I suddenly felt awkward and uncomfortable in his presence. "No." was my brief answer.
I did not necessarily mean to be so blunt or rude, but Marley was whining and I honestly wanted to get out of here for a little while. Besides, I know that Matte is more than this polite façade he puts on each day. He is cruel and abusive and I could not care less whether he knows or not.
"Oh, well are you sure that you don't want to wait for him to come back?" he asked and I furrowed my eyebrows. What is he getting at? "A girl like you shouldn't be out walking alone."
I snorted. A girl like me? A man like him should not be allowed near children or anyone for that matter, but he still does it anyway. You would think that in today's generation sexism would no longer be an issue, but just like racists and homophobes, they simply cannot process the concept that people can be different.
I rested a hand on my hip, cocking an eyebrow. "A girl like me?" I repeated. "As opposed to what? A man like you?" I retorted, though he is far from a man, a monster is more fitting.
"Excuse me?" he responded, taken back by my reply. "I was just saying that in an outfit like that—"
Is what? Not modest enough? Too suggestive?
I glared at him, remaining calm. "What? Someone might be not be able to keep their hands to themselves?" I laughed, though it was anything but funny. "That is their problem. Wearing a skirt does not invite men—or anyone for that matter, to touch me."
Matte scoffed, his face turning a hideous shade of red as he folded his muscular arms over his chest, his biceps flexing beneath the thin material of his shirt. "Lila, you are taking my words out of context." he tried to seem nice, but I know that he is far from it. "I meant—"
"Oh, I know what you meant." I snarled. "You were just implying that men like you have no self-control."
He huffed, his friendly font slowly cracking away. "What are you trying to say, hmm?" he stepped closer, towering over me.
I stood as tall as I could, but seeing at I am only five-foot-three, I could not be tall even if I wanted. Ugh, I knew I should have worn heels.
"I think that you heard me clearly." I replied in a fearless tone. "But, if you think there is a double-meaning, maybe that is your paranoia speaking." just before I stepped past him, I offered him a tight smile, a fake one, much like the one he had given me before, but not as ugly. "Have a nice day, Mr. Romano."
I stepped past him and suddenly a hand gripped my wrist, forcing me in place. The unwelcomed hand sent a tingle down my spine, my blood running cold, because I knew what he was capable of. If he could give his step-son a black eye and then act like nothing happened in front of Lilly, then I can only imagine what he would do to a girl like me.
"If Lakyn has told you anything he is lying. That kid is trouble and I have been trying to get Lilly to see that for years."
I shook my head. How dare he. "Lakyn does not lie." I said strongly. Maybe he does to others but not me, I trust him with my life. "Now, what did I say about self-control?" I spat, tugging my wrist from his grasp then hurrying away from him.
As I neared the gate, I turned to look over my shoulder looking away quickly as I noticed him sending me a deadly glare, Lexi still waiting patiently at the front door for her father whom I am sure is infuriated right now.
I began my short stroll around the lake. It was quite pleasant. I always feared the lake for the depth is unknown and it holds so much kelp which clings to your limbs and could drown you very quickly, but today I chose not to think about what was beneath the surface, but what was above it instead.
The lake glistened beneath the sun, the usual green color of which the water withholds now transparent. I walked onto the pebbly shoreline, allowing Marley to walk in the shallow where there was no seaweed, soaking her paws.
We walked around the perimeter of the lake and I enjoyed every moment of it. Between the wind intertwining with my hair and the happy sight of Marley padding around in the water. Lakyn manages to take Marley for a walk every day or at least every second day, but I have consumed all of his attention as of lately, so unfortunately Marley has missed a few walks.
My intention on going for this walk was to clear my mind for a while and focus on the way the trees swayed with the wind or the way the lake remained dead still, but my mind involuntarily wandered back to the past conversation with Matte.
I recall the first time that I had met him. My first judgements of people are usually pretty legitimate, but with Matte I was unsure. I had originally thought he was relatively nice, but other than that thought, I did not think much, that was until Lakyn pressed his front to me protectively, speaking to Matte in a rude manner.
I am aware that Lakyn hates everyone, but there was something different about the way that he interacted with his step-father. It was more tense, I could sense that there was an unpleasant history between them, but I chose to ignore it until I knew what the history was.
Even though I was not very fond of Lakyn when he expressed his burning hatred towards Matte and why, I still felt sad for him. But now. . .now I am furious. I just want to protect him as he has for me the majority of my life. Maybe indirectly informing Matte that I know about the secretive punches and purple bruises that he gives Lakyn was not a smart idea, but I could easily tell Lilly.
Lakyn would never because he refuses to ruin his mother's third marriage. He just wants her happy and he is sure that Matte does just that for her, but I am not blind-sided by love and happiness and rainbows. I know that if Matte so easily releases his anger onto Lakyn when he can, that unfortunately, he most likely has had a few slip ups with his wife too.
If he makes a wrong move or hurts Lakyn, I will destroy his life and no amount of self-control will stop me from doing so.
I also cannot believe how he spoke to me. I could have exaggerated slightly and been sensitive, but he had to right to stop me and imply that I should wait for my boyfriend to accompany me on a walk because my choice of attire may be tempting towards other people.
I looked over at Eden's tall dark house dreamily, recalling the first time that I had dropped her off here, noting how warm and lived in her house looked amongst the typical cookie cutter mansions surrounding it.
That felt like years ago. We were both so different back then, especially me.
As I passed her house, I walked towards the old doc which was centered perfectly between Eden's house and my house, well, my old house.
I walked down it, Marley's lead secured in my hand as I reached the end, my feet creaking against the unstable wood panels. You would think after all these years, the counsel would replace it, but I suppose they do not see a point in doing so considering that getting into the lake is actually illegal, but this town is run by wealth, they could at least restore it for safety purposes, because this doc is on the verge of collapsing.
I contemplated sitting down at the edge, but I was unsure due to how high the water was, but once sitting down, I realized that my legs were too little and it did not even come close to touching my feet.
Marley barked, the sound echoing as she walked over, swaying her hips, her entire stance looking so happy and excited as she sat down directly next to me.
I slung my legs back and forth as I peered out at the lake. A deep sense of serenity overcame me as I stared in rapture at the expanse of blue that laid before me. Rays of lights danced delicately across the water, birthed from the afternoon sun that both limited my sight and made the view all the more beautiful.
I turned back, gazing over my shoulder as I caught sight of my home which has never actually been a home. There it stood tall at the top of a long windy driveway, the three-story mansion making all of the others surrounding it seem so small.
I wish that I could say that I missed being there, but honestly it was horrible. Every day I came home to an empty house, it was too big, it was like living in a museum with no art. It was always so cold, but not in the literal sense. I hated it there, though even that word cannot describe my distaste for it.
The kitchen, the living room, the bathroom. How can I look at any of them the same when I saw someone dearly close to me lay lifeless on the floor?
I suppose I can express my pain in this way. Picture your mother, father, best friend—or anyone whom you love eternally—now, imagine coming home on your birthday or after a good day of school, and finding them almost dead—though at that point, you presume them dead—then your hope is restored for they live, but then it happens again, not once, but multiple times.
It is like being smacked wave after wave and just waiting for them to settle into calmness and leave you the hell alone, but they never do until they are gone finally, but even after she left, I still seem to be drowning. My life is just one big downward spiral filled with problems, when will it be over?
Unfortunately, the blunt and realistic answer is never. I have always known that with the good brings the bad and with the bad brings the good. Meaning that you can never have one without the other.
Even from across the lake, I noticed Lakyn's sleek Audi leaving Hale's and driving along the road until reaching his house only a few down from his best friends.
I sighed, standing up, deciding that I should probably get back home otherwise Lakyn will freak out if he gets there and I am gone. Besides, the walk home—if I go slow, that is—is fifteen-ish minutes as it is, so I can have a little more alone time with the dog equivalent of sunshine before returning to my sadness.
When I returned to Lakyn's house, I felt anxious. Tense. The opposite of how I felt when leaving earlier. Something did not feel right and as I walked up the driveway to the sound of shouting.
My eyes widened as I hurried over to the door. As soon as I entered the gate, I had let Marley off her lead. She sprinted into the back yard quickly, obviously not liking the yelling. Albeit, she is already curled up on Lakyn's bed,
I warily grasped the doorknob attached to the front door, slowly opening it and then creaking in, silently closing the door behind me.
"Just tell me where the fuck she is!" Lakyn's voice boomed.
My eyes widened as I registered the extreme anger apparent in his tone as I walked down the short hall, past the living room, nearing the kitchen where I then spotted the two. Matte looked like pure evil, sitting on the edge of the island, watching an infuriated Lakyn with a mocking grin, like he thought Lakyn was hilarious, whilst Lakyn looked murderous as he folded his arms, his jaw clenched as his nostrils flared, veins traveling down the lengths of his arms as he tightened his fists.
I stood next to the wall, hiding behind it as I peeked over ever so slightly, but careful that they would not see me.
"I told you, she left." he replied in a nonchalant tone. "She probably fucked off like your dad did. Why? Cause no one fucking wants you, Lakyn." Matte growled, hopping off the island counter as he took an intimidating step towards him. "You're just a pussy."
Now I understand where Lakyn gets his vocabulary from.
Lakyn chewed on the gum in his mouth, trying to remain calm, but I could sense how angry he really was. "She wouldn't leave me." he said in a tone that was definite. It almost made me smile knowing that he trusts that I would never walk away from him.
"You know what?" Matte sounded as though a lightbulb just went off inside his head. "I think I did see her. In that pretty little cardigan and that sexy—"
I resisted the urge to vomit up last night's dinner as I stared at the forty-something-year-old.
Lakyn turned red, grabbing the collar of Matte's shirt and I clasped a hand over my mouth, muffling the gasp which threatened to pass my lips. "Don't you fucking dare." he seethed in a low tone.
Matte shrugged, pulling himself from Lakyn's grasp easily. "She's too good for you. She's got a mouth on her too, I must say." I internally praised myself, though now was not the time. "Good body too."
Lakyn shook his head, clicking his tongue. "Yeah, I'm pretty fuckin' lucky, huh?" he spat. "Now stop talking shit about my girl and just tell me where the fuck she went."
I thought about making my presence known, but considering what I had just heard Matte saying about myself, an eighteen-year-old, made me feel slightly uncomfortable. Actually, even that would be a slight understatement.
"You know what?" Matte asked rhetorically, ignoring Lakyn's previous statement. "I don't have to tell you anything, you're disrespectful. Your mother would be ashamed."
Lakyn rolled his eyes, scoffing. "Yeah, tell me something I don't know." he said without a care in the world.
"Listen here," Matte did what Lakyn had done before and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, though it was in a far more aggressive manner. "Lexi, your mother, your father, we all hate you." he spat and even then, Lakyn still did not break. "It's only a matter of time before Lila does too."
Suddenly, everything moved in slow-motion as I observed the deadly look take over Lakyn's face right between stand-off and fighting. In one swift movement, he shoved Matte away harshly, sending his back colliding into one of the stools, knocking it over.
Lakyn used Matte's discomforted state to his advantage, swinging a powerful punch aimed at his jaw, but Matte dodged it, surprising me considering how incredibly strong Lakyn looked compared to Matte.
Matte is just five-foot-nine inches of worthless.
Lakyn was then shoved and his face dropped as he stumbled back, then Matte raised his fist, it flying through the air before it came into collision with his face. Lakyn's head flew to the side and his cold eyes caught mine as he noticed my head peeking past the archway, blood immediately trickling from his lip.
His attention was turned away from me quickly as he attempted to walk away, but just as he neared the back door, Matte caught the back of his shirt, icing his movements. I took this as the perfect moment to enter, hoping to stop this entire thing and get him outside where he was away from the problem, but it seemed as though those two had a different idea as Lakyn's hands wrapped around his step-father's neck, pressing him flush against the wall.
As I slowly and warily walked towards them, my heart racing, Matte's eyes found mine, a look of relief washing over his face. "L-Lila, thank god!" he said, his voice strained.
I shook my head, clicking my tongue as I walked over to them, arms crossed.
Lakyn tightened his grip at the sound of my voice as I stared at the back of his blonde head. "Fuck up." he growled.
"Look at what he's doing to m-me." he forced out, suddenly looking so weak, but I knew that it was all a façade.
I stopped next to Lakyn, staring at the hideous man with the red face. "I heard that entire conversation." I snorted. "What he's doing currently is self-defense."
Lakyn turned to stare at me blankly, his face void of all emotion, then he gripped at Matte's throat tighter, constricting his airflow as his eyes bulged out, strained gasping sounds falling from his lips.
"Lakyn, stop." I instructed when seeing how forceful he was being. When Lakyn did not listen, I repeated those words once more, this time sounding scared. "Lakyn, stop."
He huffed, remaining extremely stubborn. His hand loosened and I sighed in relief, though that was too soon, because just as I did so, his hand grasped him the tightest yet and he looked near death. "You know what, Matte? The only fuckin' pussy is you. You're a fucking piece of shit and if you ever speak about my girl like that again," he paused, looking at me in the corner of his eye as if contemplating what his next words were and if they would affect me. "you're dead."
I inhaled sharply, grasping Lakyn's arm as he let go of Matte whom immediately fell to the ground, grasping his neck as he gasped for air like a fish out of water and I stared at him blankly. I did not fear him nor will I ever, I know that considering Matte's past and present actions, Lakyn would erupt eventually and quite honestly, Matte's did deserve it, but it does not mean that I condone it.
He lost control for a moment. I know that Lakyn's anger is extremely temperamental and the slightest thing can cause an extreme blackout, but he needs to learn to be in control. Never should your mental illness have control over you, that is letting it win. There are always moments of weakness, I am going through one right now with allowing my depression to take over, but Lakyn needs to stop having these moments where he is out of control.
He is fortunate of his social status and amount of money tied to his name, otherwise he would be behind bars, I have no doubt.
"Daddy, are you okay?" Lexi's sweet voice sounded and everyone froze.
Lakyn tugged his arm from my grasp quickly before opening the sliding door and exiting, leaving it open for me, but I stayed behind.
I turned to stare at the pretty girl whom—hopefully—just entered the room, changed into a fluffy pink onesie, the hood pulled over her head which held a faux horn on top. "Your daddy just had an accident but he will be more careful next time." I said, staring down at the pathetic man with a tight smile. "Won't he?"
Matte nodded quickly, his fear giving me adrenaline as I shook my head in disappointment, turning around and walking towards Lexi, then bending down, so that I was eye-level with her. "Can I come see your room?"
Lexi nodded, jumping in excitement before grabbing my small hand with her even smaller one and dragging me towards the wooden stairs.
I was yet to see any of the upstairs area for I have never had a reason to go up there, but today it seems as though we are changing that.
We hurried up the stairs then down the hall. There were many doors, but we entered the first door which had one singular glow-in-the-dark sticker on it, shaped like a shooting star.
She opened the door and in we walked. I was surprised with the state of her room. I had never been in a children's room except for Hale's when we were younger, so I do not know what I really expected; maybe rainbows and loud colors, but instead it was slightly mature, for a six-year-old anyhow.
The walls were painted a dainty dusty pink, a wide window on the furthest wall, her single bed running along that wall with a white nightstand next to it, holding a pink lava lamp and a petite little teddy bear. Her beds duvet and pillows matched the color of the walls and there was even a singular white cushion which had her name printed on it in silver sparkly writing. A canopy dangled above her bed, then a set of drawers were on the opposing wall the top decorated in a minimal neat way.
Lastly, there was a single chair near her toy boxes, it was a nude velvety-like material.
The part that astounded me the most was how tidy her room was. The only child that I can imagine having such an orderly and neat room at that age would be me.
"I clean my room every day." Lexi stated, walking into the center of her room. "Even if it isn't messy."
I nodded, seating myself down on her chair. "It is a good habit." I stated. "My room was always clean too, but your brother is very messy."
Lexi giggled, walking over to her toy box. "I know right!" she exasperated. "I'm six and even I do my own washing!" she stated and I chuckled.
At least her terrible father did not fail at one thing.
"Were Lake and daddy fighting again?" she asked after a moment.
My eyes widened. "Again?" I repeated dryly.
Lexi nodded, sitting down on the floor in front of me, holding two Barbie dolls. "Yeah." she murmured. "I hear them fighting sometimes but my dad says if I say anything then momma will get mad."
Of course, she does. She would have to be deaf to be unable to. Lakyn has informed me about their past and how often these rough occurrences would happen where there is both physical and verbal abuse involved, so it would make sense if Lexi has heard a few times.
I shook my head. "If you ever feel unsafe you can tell me, I won't ever get mad." I spoke sincerely. "And don't tell your daddy, but your mother would never get mad at you. You can tell her anything."
Lexi nodded. "Pinky promise?" she asked, raising her little pinky.
I nodded, intertwining my finger with hers. "Pinky promise."
"Lila?" she said, her eyes focused on her two dolls now as she seemed to forget about the past conversation entirely. "I named this Barbie after you." she smiled, holding the pale blonde doll up to me. "She's the prettiest one I have! And she looks just like you."
I smiled warmly. God, please protect this child at all costs. "I am honored." I grinned and she smiled cheekily.
"Do you love Lakyn?" she piped.
I furrowed my eyebrows, continuing to be shocked by the words that exit this child's mouth. "Yes, I do." I replied honestly, butterflies erupting in my stomach. "Why is that?"
Lexi shrugged, her hood falling back slightly, revealing her chocolate brown hair. "He's just nicer now that you're his girlfriend." she stated in a nonchalant tone. "He never used to be home. He always bought gross girls over and he was mean, he sort of is still mean but I think I have my brother back now."
My heart leaped in my chest. The girl comment did not bother me, though, because I know that I am better than all of them. They left the house, I stayed, we are not the same.
"You never lost your brother." I told her. "He loves you. I know he has a strange way of showing it, but he truly does love you."
They have a typical sibling relationship. They fight, argue, tease each other, but despite all of that, they do love each other, Lakyn just does not express his feelings as most people would. Being mean was all he used to know, it was just him, but he is learning, slowly but surely.
"Then why does he always bully me?" she huffed, pouting. "He called me stinky the other day. And I had just gotten out of the shower!" she threw her hands up in the air dramatically.
I could not help but let out a chuckle. "He is just jealous because he is stinky." I told her and the most adorable giggle surpassed her lips as her eyes pursed shut. She was acting as though I had just said the most hilarious thing in the world. "I should get back to your brother now, but I will come see you again later, okay?"
She nodded, not missing a beat as I stood up. "Yes!" Lexi smiled happily.
After that I left her room. I almost never wanted too. She was such a sweet yet intelligent child, so naïve yet so smart, I pray that she has a far better life growing up than I did. She has dolls, so she already is doing better than I was.
Lakyn is not attending college for her, so I know she is safe. He is limiting his future in order to stay back and make sure that his little sister; Alexis Romano has a better one.
I walked down the stairs, praying that Lakyn had calmed down by now and that Matte had removed himself from the area of which I was just about to walk through, but just as I walked through the living room, I realized that my prayers were denied.
The hairs stood up on the back of my neck as I attempted to discretely stroll past, watching the back of his head as he sat on the couch, staring at the blank black screen shown on the large television in front of him.
"Oh, and by the way," his cold voice sounded, causing fear to coil in the pit of my stomach. "if you tell Lilly about what happened today, I will make sure that everyone knows the real story behind Lakyn's father. After that comes out, his life won't be worth living."
He is really fighting fire with fire right now. Too bad my flame is bigger.
I pity him for his attempts in threatening me, I sincerely do.
I snorted. "Really?" I said in amusement, a smirk appearing on my lips. "Do it then, I dare you. But just know that if you do, the entirety of Dayton Lake's will know that you are abusive and considering mine and Lakyn's status's in this town—and the fact that he is still considered a minor—after we're done with you, your life won't be worth living." I threatened.
"Was that a threat?" he did not dare to turn back, but I could see his face in the reflection of the TV and he looked petrified.
My smile dropped. "No, no. Not at all!" I tried to sound surprised. "More so a statement. But take it as you please."
Before he could offer me a sour response—though I doubt that there would be one—I walked out of the living room then quickly through the kitchen, exiting via the back door and then through the backyard.
As I pushed the door open, anxiousness washed over me like a large wave. I felt sick, my hands shaky and my palms sweaty. I knew that there were multiple ways in which this could go, but I am not sure how many result in a good way.
I know angry Lakyn and though it is usually a smart idea to leave him be until he has calmed down, but things are different now. I love him. And I refuse to just sit back until he is okay. Besides, he has helped me be okay so much lately, the least that I could do just once, is the same for him.
I noticed him immediately, like Matte, he was seated on the couch. I walked around to him immediately, my heart ached as I observed how he held his head low in his hands, staring blankly at the floor.
"Lakyn," I whispered, slowly making my way towards him. "baby." I spoke kneeling down onto the floor in front of him.
He looked up at me through his eyelashes, his lip pierced and swollen. "What?" he rasped.
I chewed on the inside of my cheek, unsure of how to approach this. "You are okay." I reassured him.
He dropped his hands, shaking his head as he clenched his jaw. "Okay?" he snorted. "Fucking hell, Violet, I am so far from okay."
I winced at his loud tone, reminding myself that he is just angry and this is not actually him right now. "I love you." I said with such sincerity. "None of that was your fault."
He clicked his tongue, acting as though I had just told a joke. "Did you hear the shit that dick was saying about me? he didn't fuckin' lie, Violet." oh, but he did. "I'm a piece of shit and the sooner you realize that, the better."
I narrowed my eyes. "So, what? Just because Matte said that I am supposedly too good for you, you need to leave me?"
"I would never leave you." he growled lowly, like a wolf. "But you should leave me."
He cannot be serious. We have both gone too much as individuals to be alone. Everything good and bad has led up to us becoming us. I could be biased, but I personally believe that we are stronger together.
I scoffed, trying not to let his words upset me. "Lakyn, stop it." I said sternly. "You get mad and you make things worse by pushing the people you love away."
"I only love you." he grumbled.
I sighed. "Exactly."
"Lexi probably hates me even more now and I can only imagine the shit that he'll tell my mom now." he groaned, running a hand through his hair as he stressed. "Just—"
"Just what?" I cut him off, still knelt down.
Lakyn stood up and I followed, trailing after him as he walked towards the bathroom door. "Just fuck off!" he boomed and my eyes widened.
His anger gives him absolutely no right to mistreat me, but I know that if I keep trying to speak to him, then he will just say more things that he does not mean and it will destroy us both in the end. I have told him that I love him and assured him that none of this was his fault, all that I can do now is take a step back.
I nodded, not showing any emotion as Lakyn walked into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him, making me jump.
I sighed, walking upstairs and changing into something more comfortable, not Lakyn's shirt, which was the comfiest, but my silky pajama set was a close runner. Once finished undressing, I got into bed and stared at the ceiling, not entertaining, but it has become part of my dreadful routine as of lately.
Before I could over analyze today's events and think further about Lakyn I thankfully fell into a light slumber. I do not know how long I slept for, but when I woke up, the sun was beginning to set. I sat up, feeling even more tired than I was before.
My eyes fell on the tall figure sat on the bed next to me, once again his head was hung low, being held in his hands.
I remained silent, too tired to speak properly or even think at this current moment.
"I didn't mean to yell at you." were his first words. "I just got worried about you. You called me and got mad that I went to see Hale without you, then I come home and you weren't here. I thought you left me. . .or your dad happened or something."
I paid attention to his words, inhaling deeply. "I should have told you first, or waited. I am sorry, Lakyn." I apologized on my behalf. "And even though you were mean, I suppose that I forgive you." because 'I love you' were the words that followed silently after.
Possessive or careless, Lakyn had every right to be afraid. If I went out and came home and he was not there and had not previously said anything, especially considering he realistically should not be out currently due to being severely mentally unstable and was not answering their phone—due to it being dead—then I would be extremely worried.
"Okay."
I placed my hand on his shoulder, pulling him back until his back pressed against the mattress.
I moved closer, smiling as I stared down at Lakyn. "Is that your way of saying sorry?" I asked, running my fingertips through his hair.
He nodded, staring directly at me. "I don't really say sorry, but you're an exception cause I love you." he chuckled slightly. "So, unfuck you. . .or whatever."
I stared at him, a humorous smile curling my lips. "Unfuck you too." I played along.
We ceased to silence as we both gazed at each other, both of us completely moonstruck, love-sick teenagers. I looked at his arched eyebrows, then his long dark eyelashes and his icey-cold irises, his perfect nose, his plump lips then his angular jaw. He was an art piece, one that I could adore for infinity.
"Violet?" he said, tracing the outline of my jaw.
"Hmm?" I hummed in response in a trance due to his beauty, my thumb running over the small cut pierced through his bottom lip.
Lakyn's tongue ran over his bottom lip. "I shouldn't have sworn at you. I just got really mad today and I just couldn't control myself. I thought I was doing the right thing, but then I looked at you and you looked at me like I was a monster."
"You aren't a monster." I said truthfully.
Maybe he once was, but not anymore.
Lakyn frowned. "Promise?"
I made my second promise of the day, nodding. "Promise."
"I know I'm hard to love and I'm all broken inside," he said painfully "but I promise you, I am loving you with everything I am. I am loving you with all my pieces."
And all of my pieces will love his pieces too.
Maybe all together, our shards of heartbreak can form and make a heart that is not so broken anymore.
hey everyone!
i hope you enjoyed this chapter and seeing more like what lakyns life was like before lila and what he suffers from.
please comment below and let me know what you thought also vote and follow me!
also to read about eden and hales first time go over to chapter 49 of 'running for miles'
p.s you should follow my instagram if you haven't already it's @sharnahxwrites ♡