Three months have passed already and it feels as if time is stuck on the day I first arrived here. And I like it this way. I don't want any of this to end. I have so much right now, I'm afraid of losing everything. Another week and moments like these will fade away. I never could have imagined that this big mistake could become my most precious memory. Sometimes we say that mistakes help us improve. Well, it is much more than that. Mistakes help us guide our dreams, they make us find out qualities we don't know we have and make our life change.
I finally decide to step out of bed feeling the chilling air on my toes. Spring is at the doors but this time, I can feel it only by looking outside the window. No scent is passing through my nose making it hard for me to feel it.
"Finally you decided" says Summer coming out of the shower.
"You just had a flu, Isla. It doesn't mean you have to stay in bed all day".
I grab my robe and head to the bathroom leaving her outside.
I hear her voice from the door.
"You can't hide it forever. You have to face reality. Only three weeks have passed since you last saw Nate and you don't have the courage to speak to him."
I open the door making my sister feel proud of convincing me to reply.
"I've attended classes and this is the only thing that matters. Pleasure can wait." I try to close the door once again but my sister's hand prevents it.
"Nate isn't just pleasure. You love him and you know it more than anyone."
I know she is right but I don't have the courage to say it. I'm just afraid to have a relationship right now. And the truth is I went to find him but I couldn't. I just feel like he is the one hiding from me. Plus I have no idea where my phone is which isn't helping at all.
"Have you found my phone?" I ask instead breaking the icing silence.
"I have looked everywhere, I even looked at the spa you gave me the address. The strange thing is it turns out to be the same one I was staying with Noah."
"Really?! Well, I haven't seen you, so you must have been in another department."
"Maybe, but it feels so strange, you know. Our boyfriends had the same idea. It is just so cool." she stares blankly at the wall for an instant, not long enough for me to enter the shower.
"Oh! I have an idea. Why don't we have a couples dinner tonight? So I can get to know Nate and you can have a chance to see him and say what you have to say."
So you can steal even Nate from me. But fortunately I was talking to myself. I say instead:
"Great! Be ready by 7?"
"Yes! I knew you would love my idea! I found a pizza place which is only ten minutes by foot from this college."
"Text me the address" and finally close the door of the bathroom behind me. As water runs through my face everything seems smaller, melted away by my thoughts, or maybe by the heat moist escaping through the top door.
30 minuted later
As I head to the classroom my heart starts beating and suddenly the other night starts to print in my mind. His smell, his touch, his voice it seems like he is right in front of me every time I think of him. Suddenly I realise how much I love him. I realise it as it makes me giggle just thinking about having him right by my side. It makes me smile so big just when his voice prints on my mind. It makes my heart beat so fast just smelling his perfume from a far distance.
I suddenly feel a warm body bump on me, making my whole dream vanish.
"I'm sorry" says Noah picking up my script sheets that have already formed a united carpet on the floor.
"It's fine. It was my fault".
"How are you recovering from the flu?" he asks as soon as he makes a pile of blank paper. For a moment my mind comes back to the first day I met him. His sweet voice doesn't let my heart glow anymore but it still makes me feel calm.
"I'm still pretty nauseous but much better" his eyes are so sweet, for the first time I feel confident.
"Hey! I almost forgot! Here... I've never had the chance to give it to you but at first I thought it was Summer's. I don't understand how it got to my pockets" he hands me my phone.
"Thanks" I say in a doubting smile. As I switch it on, the picture of Nate appears on the screen. God, I miss him so much! Maybe Summer is right, having dinner tonight won't be as bad. At list I will see Nate.
10 minutes later
As I enter my dorm I hear a crying sound coming from the bathroom. I crash my bag on the floor.
"Hey, what is going on?" I reach for the floor.
"I was trying to hide it, I didn't want it to be real. But it is, Isla! I can't hold it back anymore. I always wanted to tell you but I..."
"Just tell me Summer" her head reaches for the toilet. My heart starts beating so fast I have to take deep breaths.
But words weren't necessary, I suddenly understood. Not what she had but how she felt. My heart felt sorrow, tears came down in my face. I was part of her and I knew what she was facing even though I have never experienced it.
"I'm pregnant Isla! I've done millions of tests and they all said the same. Not even a negative.2 My eyes stay wide open as I take all that in. I mean, I feel sorry for her but at the same time that means I know that this will make our life change forever. I tried to hide my worries.
"It's okay. I'm here for you." I didn't need a lot of words to comfort her. She didn't need an advice, an opinion a solution to her problems, she just needed me by her side. And that was the only thing I decided to give her.
"Have you told Noah, yet?"
"No, I'll tell him tonight. I'm still going to the double date." her hand dries her tears.
"Come on, we have to get ready. Dinner's in two hours." and in that moment a part of me was happy because it realised how lucky I am of having Summer in my life. But even more by having her as a sister. She will always see something to distract her from reality. Something I don't have or will never learn, but one quality which I always envied.
Two hours later (at a sushi restaurant)
"There you are" said Summer throwing her arms around Noah's neck.
"I've missed you handsome" their lips stick together. I look at their silhouette, I realise how happy I am for them and a perfect couple they are. But this doesn't stop me from being nervous.
The anxiety in my body starts to increase I have to see Nate again. And the love I have for him is making my anxiety grow. It's been so long... I can't spend so much time without him.
The door suddenly open. The chilling winter air travels through our bodies. His eyes are illuminated by the light of the restaurant. His perfume is already traveling from my nostrils to my brain. The world stops and we seem to be in a stage. Everybody looks at us, only us.
"Isla..." his voice seems to come from inside me.
"Nate..." our lips close together fitting like a puzzle. It feels as if we are meant to stay in that position. Kissing each other, that is the only thing that matters.
As we start ordering the food I feel Nate's scent mix with the salty flavour of soy sauce.
"This restaurant is amazing!" says Summer eating probably the tenth sushi roll.
"I have never been here but it sounds awesome!" says Noah looking at his empty plate.
"I'm just so sure this wasn't Isla's idea. Of the double date I mean" says Nate with a shy smile.
"You know me so well" I laugh as they all join me.
I eat happily but look at Summer every second. I'm worried about her and I don't understand how she can talk with Noah if we are all together. I try to come up with an excuse to leave them alone. After all, I am her sister and I have to look after her now.
"Hey Nate, I have to show you something. We'll be back in a second" I grab his hand standing up.
"Don't go! I have important news for all of you" announces Summer and in that moment I already understand that she is about to say.
She waits me to sit down. After taking a deep breath she starts always with a smile: "It's almost been three weeks now and I didn't have the courage to tell you but now I must.".
She takes another deep breath as she she had to propose to Noah. Then she closes her eyes for a few seconds and takes courage: "I am expecting a baby", followed by a cold silence.
Nate stops eating making his open mouth hang in the air. Noah almost chokes on his bear. My heart starts beating at the fastest rate possible as if it had to fly away at any minute and land right at the centre of the table. I feel my sister's worry in my heart.
"Oh my god! Summer that's amazing! I'm gonna be a father" Noah stands up and grabs Summer by the waist. They spin together in front of everybody. They don't care about anyone now, they are just happy. I smile with them as if a big piece of weight has been lifted from my stomach.
But that lift suddenly makes my stomach hurt. A pain that almost arrives to my brain. I reach for my purse as I head to the bathroom. While the door closes behind me, as an impulse my head reaches the toilet.
I hear the door open again: "Isla are you okay" Nate stands there as he reaches for the floor.
"Yeah, it's okay. I think these sushi rolls aren't good for my flu. I just wanted to be here for Summer"
Nate reaches my hand delicately: "I know you did. You are an amazing sister. But it is time to thing about yourself now. Think about our carrier. You cannot let your health ruin all your plans"
"Before thinking about myself, I think we need to talk. About that night I mean" I know he knows exactly what I'm talking about.
"Yeah, about that. I felt like something had changed last night"
"I thought the same. It was so magical, I could feel we had a connection. Even if we couldn't see each other." I start to giggle as I think about how much I am in love with him.
"Well, I thought it was completely different. I mean, I said it was different because I didn't think we had the same chemistry as when you threw all my dinner on the floor" and as he recalls that night I think about it and I don't feel the same at all. I thought it was the complete opposite.
"Yeah, you're right. Maybe it was because we couldn't put all of our sense in the table. I mean we didn't actually see each other" I say making up an excuse. I don't want his to feel as if he isn't the one in love. Because I know how much he cares about me.
"Hey guys, we were about to make a toast. Do you want to join us?" says Noah as he opens the door lightly.
"Coming!".