Putting the article section of the newspaper aside, Daud looked at his daughter coming towards him with a smile on her face. The tray with the tea and cups was in her hand indicating that she had been the one to prepare the evening tea today. An involuntary smile had graced Daud's lips as well. Evening tea was soothing but when Elaf made a special effort for him and Yusra it would get better ten folds.
"Put the newspaper aside, Durrani Sahab! The tea will get cold."
She sat down close to him on the couch. The backyard of their house had a small garden attached to it and Yusra's impeccable aesthetic sense had turned it into a heaven of sorts.
"Ah! Your mum's special baked cakes! This evening should never end."
Daud took a sip of his tea and then took a bite of the cake as well. As usual it was one of Yusra's best.
"Where's she by the way?"
Elaf took hold of his newspaper earning a narrow eyed glance from him.
"She got a call from Khala and since I have no interest in their tea so I came to you with this tea. She should be joining us shortly though."
Daud nodded. Elaf was now reading an article aloud and asking for his opinion as well when something flashed across his mind.
"Elaf, I was meaning to talk to you about something."
She looked up from the newspaper.
"Yes, Baba?"
He smiled. She was all ears and the newspaper was forgotten now.
"Your Dado talks about you a lot. You should go and meet her sometimes."
Elaf's brow scrunched. She had a very expressive face and Daud who had been through almost all of her moods all these years immediately knew she wasn't pleased.
"She told you this? That she wants me to meet her?"
"Of course! You're her granddaughter after all."
Elaf placed her tea cup on the table and turned completely towards him.
"Baba, I'm going to say something and I know you won't like it but you will listen to me and don't cut me in the middle just because you don't agree."
"Okay! That's kind of a heads up."
"It is. The thing is, I don't think Dado is fond me or having me around. She's made it very clear that I'm not someone she likes more than her neighbors and she hates all her neighbors!"
"Elaf, Beta this is not true."
"She's always giving me this weird challenging look as if provoking me to do something."
"That's not it. She just thinks that you're different from the rest of your cousins because you haven't been brought up in Durrani house."
"Then it's not my fault, Baba! This is the life I've always known. You, Mama and me. I can't just mold the way Dado wants me to just to fit in. And when there're so many people in a family someone has to be the odd one out. It's nothing to be frightened of."
"She does it out of love. She wants to see you getting along with everyone. But you always end up sassing people away."
Elaf knew what was happening here. Her father had been brainwashed by her grandma dearest. But it wasn't something to fret over. Daud Durrani would always listen to his daughter no matter what. The ease between the father daughter duo had never seen a bad day.
"Not my fault here. I wasn't raised as someone who wouldn't give it back when the other person is trying her patience. It's all on my parents."
Daud just laughed at her expressions. Elaf sighed looking at the profile of her father. The man she loved to bits. The man she would do anything for. And he would do the same for her even more. He had lived away from his family all his life because of his one decision of marrying her mother. To save everyone the hassle of constants problems he had taken this decision but his heart was there somewhere in Durrani house only. He was torn between two parts of his family. Elaf understood his plight and was always more than ready to do as he wanted to but very early on age she had realized and accepted the fact that her grandmother wasn't someone she'd ever be able to have a cordial relation with. Bilqees Durrani never saw Elaf as her granddaughter; she was always the daughter of the woman her son had married against her wish. She had never accepted Yusra so accepting her daughter who also happened to be rejecting all the norms and traditions she held dear wasn't something Bilqees Durrani was going to do.
Daud hadn't taken the conversation any further. But Elaf knew he didn't like the equation between her and her grandmother. She wished she could do something about it but how far can one person take a relation when the other was hell bent upon proving she didn't like you?
"I'm so glad your mother is an excellent baker. These cakes are amazing."
He picked his fourth piece and that's when Elaf knew she had to act.
"Baba! At least leave some for me!"
"Your mother bakes these once a week only for you!"
"Yeah, because she's my Mama and I have every right on the things made by her! Go ask your mama to make you something!"
"My mama doesn't know how to bake but she can make delicious Gajar ka Halwa. We'll try that someday, hun?"
Elaf didn't miss the hopeful expression on his face. She didn't have a heart to say no to this.
"Okay, Baba. Sure!"
Daud was happy; the broad grin was the telltale sign. The conversation moved to Elaf's studies and how her semester was going so far.
She talked about everything, from lazy professors to the numerous assignments, from stale canteen food to Mubarak's delicious Biryani but not once did she stumble upon the retelling of her performance last week. Not even by mistake.
The same way Daud hadn't even once told her how her grandmother thought of her as ill-mannered and not properly raised with no proper sense of right and wrong and on top a savage tongue. Daud had no heart to taint the already cracked image of her grandmother Elaf had in her mind. He had blamed it on the distance between them and was now working on that only.
Deep down both realized that there were things they weren't telling each other and it was fine.
Maybe.
___________
"I'm tired of this plumbing always ditching us at the last moment!"
Memoona mumbled giving the simmering gravy another look.
"It's not that bad this time around."
Izaan's muffled voice came from the other corner of the kitchen where he was repairing the broken plumbing, something he was used to doing once a month regularly.
"The amount of care your father gives to his shop I hope one day this house gets the same attention from him."
"Fat chance."
He was tightening the pipe and hoping for the water to not spill this time around.
"Amma, it's done. But please don't let the water overflow otherwise the pipe will again start acting up."
Memoona heaved a sigh of relief.
"Should I set the table?"
He shook his head and pointed towards his soaked clothes.
"Ah! I see. You go and take a bath first. Your clothes are on the bed."
"Abba is asleep. Don't wake him up. His blood pressure was slightly high in the morning so I gave him the medicine. Let him take rest now."
"Noted, boss!"
Izaan shook his head and came out of the kitchen. He was walking towards his room to get rid of these clothes when the voices coming from the twins' room had him stopped in his way.
"I'm not asking Amma again."
"So what are you going to tell her when she'll ask about your trip?"
"I can always come up with an excuse."
"You're pathetic, Ibsam!"
Izaan knocked at the door and for a few seconds the conversation came to an abrupt halt.
Ibtihaj was the one to open the door and seeing Izaan he visibly relaxed.
"Bhai! I was thinking of coming to you myself."
"What's wrong?"
Ibsam wasn't meeting his eye and that was an indication enough for Izaan that this was something related to him only.
"This idiot has spent the money Amma gave him for his class tour!"
Izaan looked at Ibsam questionably.
"Don't ask him anything. He'll tell you his sob story as if someone was holding a gun to his head. He went out with his friends and wasted all the money. Now he's penniless and can't go on the tour. What he'll say to Amma I have no clue because she'll be angry and when she gets angry it's utter chaos."
"Will you stop being so loud about it? You go on like this and I will not have to tell her anything! She will figure out herself!"
"As she should! Why the hell were you out there with those brats friends of yours in the first place? Your friends are snobs, Ibsam! And you become a different breed when you're with them!"
"My friends are alright!"
"Yeah, and you're inheriting all of Bill Gates' wealth!"
"Okay! Enough!"
Izaan's words shut both of them up. He turned to Ibsam.
"Come."
Not waiting for his answer Izaan had started walking out of there. The twins knew he wasn't pleased. He used to go silent when angry.
Once reaching his room, Izaan picked his wallet from the side table and extended the money towards a shocked and remorseful Ibsam.
"I can't take this, Bhai."
"Then you'll have to tell Amma where the money has gone to and that'll create a mess in this house which I don't want."
"I didn't want to lose the money like this."
Izaan just nodded. He had seen Ibsam was ashamed so there was no point in making him feel worse about it.
"I know. You don't have to tell Amma anything. Just think this never happened."
"What about you, Bhai? This is your pocket money!"
"I'll manage."
Ibsam was about to protest but seeing Izaan's serious face he dropped the topic as Izaan wanted to.
"Just one thing though. I know you can't always make friends matching your financial status but at least enter those people in your circle who have respect for your roots and where you come from. The people who don't make you feel bad about not having enough money and losing the little that you have so that you'll feel like a part of them."
"Bhai, with all due respect but all of your friends are way above your financial class as well. Sarim, Hesham and even Kumail."
Izaan smiled. He knew this was coming.
"The exact point I'm making here. Sarim is fending for himself since the time he has gone to university. How he does that, well that's another story. Freelance work, part time jobs and some other small opportunities. Kumail's father is a government employee and since he got Kumail admission in the medical school without any scholarship, Kumail always keeps this fact in mind that his father's hard earned money should never go to waste in momentary fun. Hesham is the most affluent one among us, yes but that kid is weird in his own way. When we get together his to go places are always either roadside stalls or the small scale restaurants which we all can afford because none of us wants to have some fancy meal. We just want to have a good time together. Our mindset match, Ibsam. Financial status and social class don't matter when there is a link from here."
He pointed towards his heart. He didn't know Ibsam got the point or not. He hung his head and was out of Izaan's room.
Izaan was aware of the contrast between him and the twins, even between the twins as well. They all had their own personality traits but Ibsam's rebellious ways were unsettling. He was ambitious but not in a positive way. His aspiration ran materialistic deep only and this was worrisome for them. But he was still growing up. His mindset was constantly changing and his opinions morphing with each passing day so it wasn't something they all were fretting about much.
But they should've realized because sometimes the things we overlook have a way of creating a lasting impression in the long run.
__________
"I cannot believe this!"
Elaf squinted at the board where the class representative had just pasted the hard form of the mid exam date sheet.
"The semester has just started!"
She exclaimed but no one took notice of her outrage. Mishal was the only one to look up from her book and shake her head in Elaf's direction.
"It's been two months, Elaf. I don't know which auspicious time you think should be reserved to sit in the mids."
"But it's too early! And I'm not prepared at all!"
"Typical!"
Marwa and Rabea had also joined in the conversation by now.
"You spent half of these two month writing plays and the other half in playing your part in those. Sure you are finding the Mids have come so soon. We've been the ones dying under the pressure of studies."
"I'm doomed!"
Elad dropped her head on her bag dramatically. Rabea and Marwa laughed at her reaction while Mishal just rolled her eyes.
"This is what happens when you give extra curriculum more importance than your course."
Marwa shot Mishal a warning look but it was Mishal in question who'd say her mind no matter what.
"Am I wrong though? Elaf needs to find a balance between her studies and her plays."
"Elaf is sitting right here if you haven't noticed."
Elaf was now fully turned towards Mishal with narrowed eyes.
"I'm aware and I'm not afraid to tell this to your face. You need to see sense here, Elaf. You are an engineering student not a dramatics school valedictorian! It's been the same since the time professor Kaleem got you in his club. You're lagging behind in your studies. Your plays are good, you are a damn good theater actress, accepted! But somewhere you're doing yourself a major harm. You haven't even told your parents about it when it's your father's dream to see you coming out with a graduation degree from this university!"
Elaf felt like a bucket of ice was thrown over her. Rabea and Marwa were also gaping open mouthed at Mishal. She was crude and often brutal in her opinions but this was downright rude.
"Mish, you do realize that you aren't Elaf's mum do you?"
Rabea asked looking between Mishal and Elaf.
"Exactly. You don't want to help her that's on you. But don't be this harsh!"
"Fine!"
Mishal picked her bag sat down with a bunch of kids at the front of the class.
"Such a disaster!"
Marwa held Elaf's hand but she was till eyeing Mishal with disbelief on her face.
"Ellie! Don't think too much about it! Leave her be. She's just jealous because your plays are making you so famous in the university."
"But she is my close friend."
"Friends don't get jealous this easily, Elle. So just let it go for the time being. Look, me and Marv we aren't exactly the brightest students of this class."
Rabea said sheepishly making Marwa giggle. Elaf gave them a small smile.
"So, yeah we can't help you out that much because honestly we know just a bit more than you. We'll try our best though. We can assure you that. But why don't you go and ask someone else for help? Someone who's kind of the best in this class at the moment."
Elaf's brows scrunched but the next moment she knew whom they were talking about.
She looked back at the last bench where Sarim Haider was sitting talking and laughing with his friends taking full advantage of this free hour.
It had been just few days since they both had been added into each other's Instagram accounts. Nothing had changed in the confines of this class though. But they didn't have any new arguments so far which was maybe the positive sign.
He was sitting in his trademark laid back way, talking to everyone and giving his two cents all the while smiling. And smiling at something the guy to his right had said, his twinkling eyes fell on Elaf Daud who immediately looked away.
"Guys, I really appreciate the effort but I think I need some time alone. See you both in EE lecture!"
She gave an apologetic look to Rabea and Marwa who nodded understandingly. Getting her things Elaf was out of the class.
While he was still looking at her.
Missed chances. Stolen glances.
____________
On the second floor of the campus, there used to be a water tank but when the tank was removed the empty space couldn't be filled in again. The administration tried placing pots there but nothing worked as a permanent solution. At last the area was left as it was and soon it turned into a student spot for fresh air and me time as it opened to the balcony.
As Sarim rounded the corner he had found her there as expected. With her book of Electronics Engineering opened, the class of which was due in some twenty minutes, she was staring down at the grounds of the university.
"Can I sit here?"
She looked up and frowned. Sarim wanted to chuckle at the incredulous expression settled on her face. So much for being mutuals on Insta.
"Make yourself at home."
"That I'll do like a pro."
He sat down and peaked at the open book.
"Mids are finally here."
"No shit Sherlock. My excitement must be radiating off my whole being."
Sarim gave her a critical look.
"In waves."
Elaf shook her head when a smile appeared on her lips. Too much for being mutuals on Insta.
"If it's not obvious I'm not exactly prepared for the exams."
"Oh, it is obvious. But I think since you were busy in something productive, we all should cut you some slack."
She snorted but then her mind drifted back to the day of her performance. His explanation rang in her ears.
She had just had her close friend telling her how she was letting her parents down by indulging into what made her happy. How she was being dishonest to her studies and here this guy was, telling her it was productive.
"Take this!"
He extended a folder towards her. She opened it with a raised eyebrow but soon got a shock.
"These are your notes!"
"Yes, all of it."
"Shut up! This is not you!"
"Now, I'm offended! You can ask from everyone in the class. I happen to be a very helpful guy."
The notes were oddly clean and well put. Elaf was expecting haphazard scribbling and disjointed sentences but he was very precise with whatever he had written.
"You're a nerd!"
"That is Izaan! Stop ruining my reputation!"
Elaf knew he was talking about his Doctor friend. The guy was pretty famous on the campus even though he wasn't even from here. Because of famous friends everyone kind of had an idea about him.
"I never knew adding a guy to your Instagram account could do this!"
She showed him his folder. He groaned.
"That was shallow. I also added you in my account but you don't see me gloating about the fact that you sent the request first!"
"Get over yourself! I just wanted to rate your feed."
"So what's the score?"
"A solid 5."
"Out of 5?"
"Sit down. Out of 1o."
"Why?"
"You need a better photographer!"
"Safwa will be offended."
Elaf bit her tongue.
"Don't tell her."
"No promises."
Sarim took out his phone and scrolled down her Insta.
"Your meme game is strong."
"I'm famous for it."
"But why that meme you made of my picture at Safwa's birthday party isn't here?"
There was a mischievous glint in her eyes.
"Because I don't post people on my Insta who aren't my friends."
Sarim jerked his head back and pointed towards his heart.
"Here, it pained here!"
"Contact your Doctor friend then."
"That we always do. He's the one to patch us up when we get into any fist fight. Hesham mostly. But I've figured out my life goal though. I have to be there on Elaf Daud's insta as a meme."
"That'll look good on your resume."
"I was thinking the same."
Elaf laughed and then looked away.
How easy this was.
And suddenly the realization hit her. If they kept on going like this he'd soon be where he wanted to be.
In her Instagram posts.
But unknown to her maybe in her heart as well.
Maybe.
___________
The moment Safwa entered into the house she knew something was up. The kitchen which was to the right of the entrance was wafting the delicious smell of a well put lunch. This was odd. Safwa wasn't big on eating heavily during lunchtime and Bisma was mostly in the office during that time.
She was about to ask Nusrat Aapa what the commotion was about when she heard the voices coming from the living area. The familiarity hit her instantly and she almost ran towards there with a grin on her face.
"Atif uncle!"
She exclaimed. Atif Baig who had just come from the States this morning got up smiling at her. He gave her his warm fatherly hug for which he was one of her favourites.
"When did you come back?"
"Just this morning."
"That's why this clown didn't come to university today?"
She pointed towards Hesham who just shrugged his shoulder all the while smiling. No matter how much he tried playing it cool but his happiness was evident from his face. He had missed his father in this two week long trip of his.
"I wasn't even aware. Rashid came to wake me up for my class and when I got downstairs, this old man was already seated on the dining table having his breakfast."
"I hate airplane food service. You guys know. I was famished so had to cater to my grumbling tummy than to go pamper my overgrown toddler."
Safwa sat down close to Bisma enjoying the famous banter of the father and son duo.
"Then I decided to skip university for today and after breakfast he started with unpacking his stuff. I was standing there close to the suitcase hoping that just now something incredible would come out of it and guess what?"
"What?"
"He got me a pair of socks."
"With Pokémon on it."
Atif put in.
Hesham narrowed his eyes at his father.
"But why socks, Atif?"
Bisma took her part in the conversation interested.
"Because when he takes off his usual pair after four days it gets difficult for Rashid to clean them and for me to stay in the room with my nose functioning. So the more the merrier. At least this way he'd be a bit more enthusiastic of wearing a new pair."
Safwa wasn't new to this. Hesham and Atif relation was 5 % father son and 95% roast like pals.
The conversation flew in after that. From their upcoming mid exams (about which Hesham had no idea, idiot) to inquiring about Izaan and Sarim and how they were doing, the living area of Kirmani house was actually living that particular lunchtime. When the talks steered towards business and new cases, both Safwa and Hesham gestured each other and soon vanished towards the stairs.
Bisma looked at their retreating backs with a smile.
"I talked to Hesham about what you'd told me."
Atif told her.
"I hope he didn't mind it."
"It's Hesham we're talking about. He doesn't mind that easily. He's easy going."
Bisma nodded.
"I didn't want to come out as pushy but I thought it's high time both Hesham and Safwa start taking things seriously. They're in for a long run. Safwa isn't too difficult to get that idea but it's Hesham who needed a push. That's all I wanted you to give him."
"He understands, Bisma. And don't you ever worry about his feelings for Safwa. He will never hurt her. Not with intention anyway. He can't do that."
A shadow passed over Bisma's face which turned into a solemn smile.
"That's the thing, Atif. With intention people close to you don't hurt you. It's the unintentional hurt that they cause which can never be forgotten and healed."
Atif's smile had vanished the next second.
"Bisma...I.."
"I should go and help Nusrat Aapa. Excuse me."
She got up leaving an air of what ifs behind.
____________
"Irma!"
Irma was about to drop the lid of the bowl hearing the voice. She sighed and waited for him to reach her and he did in few seconds.
"Irma, what is Ammi saying! Is it true?"
She took out the food in a plate.
"Have you eaten or I should make a plate for you as well?"
Sarim looked on all pissed.
"Stop glaring at me. Food is important. I can tell you haven't eaten."
"Stop with this nonsense nonchalance. Answer me what I'm asking you."
Irma held his hand and made him sit on the nearby stool.
"Easy!"
She placed the plate of the counter top and holding his hand walked out of the kitchen towards her room. Once inside, she switched on the lights and sat down on her bed taking him along.
"Irma, Ammi has just told me you have agreed for the marriage."
"Yes, I have."
"Have you gone crazy?"
"No, I thought this through and I think marriage is the best option for me at the moment."
"Bull! Absolute bull! You are just giving up."
Irma gave Sarim a pained look which immediately softened his expressions.
"Maybe I'm. But you've also been living in this house. Can you tell me when there was any option than giving up, for me at least? This is how it goes, Sarim. Baba will always rule over our lives like a dictator. Specially mine. You're standing up to him and after a certain point he got habitual to your defiance. Because you're a son. Your defiance no matter how hard to swallow, but at some point is gets acceptable. Like it did. You are right now taking all your decisions on your own. But same isn't true for me. How long have I been nagging Baba and Ammi to let me work! Let me have my dream job? Years, Sarim. But nothing happened. When you have a fight with Baba you just go out. Meet your friends and don't come home for hours. I can't do this. I have to stay here and see their disappointment, I can't run. I can't spend nights at my friends. No matter what we do and how broad minded we get things will always be different for sons and daughters."
She held Sarim's hand.
"So this is my trying to have a different life than the one I've lived so far. I know I'm going from one man's life into another's. But at least there's this hope that he is better than Baba. That he'll let me live my dreams. He was my class fellow. He knows me. And I'm pretty sure that he'll understand because he was level minded during our time at the university. I know this is leap of faith. A chance. But right now this is all I'm getting to change my life without offending my parents and causing a major showdown."
Had this house gone this toxic for Irma that marriage was looking to her the only escape? Sarim didn't know whom to blame, his father, this society, this system or himself?
"I want out now. I love you but I just can't live here anymore. I want to surround myself with people who love me, who want me to be a part of their lives. Ammi feels for us but she can't ever take a stand. And I don't even want her to. I don't want her to suffer. I'm giving myself a chance here, Sarim. With good hopes. Wish me luck."
Something inside Sarim was not ready to wish her this luck because he wasn't fully satisfied with her reasoning. But this house and its atmosphere, the years of having no say in her own life had made her desperate. She was looking at this marriage as a chance at both love and change. He just wanted her to get both of those. No matter by marrying someone or staying here all her life. He just wanted her happiness.
"Irma, I know you've made your mind and I won't stop you. For the very first time in your life you're thinking about yourself and I respect it, fully. But promise me one thing, God forbid if something ever goes wrong in life, before going to anyone else, you'll come to me. You'll tell me. You'll let me be the person who'll be your shield. Will you?"
Irma wiped her tears and hugged him.
"You'll always be the only person who'll think of me above everything. I know it so why wouldn't I come to you?"
Sarim patted her head. Both siblings stayed there for a long time. Realizing that life from here on was going to be different.
_________
"You've gone on Atif uncle in leg pulling business."
Safwa exclaimed dropping herself on her bed. Hesham was standing to the side absentmindedly running his fingers over her music collection.
"You've been collecting these for a long time now don't you?"
"You were the one who asked me to go for it when we were in high school.'
"I remember."
Safwa reminisced the old days with a forlorn look on her face when Hesham sat down next to her.
"Safi, do you remember when we were kids, being the owner of a coffee house with a book facility and music was your dream?"
Safwa laughed lightly.
"Yes, it was."
"Was?"
"Was. Because I grew up and realized that it wasn't practical."
Hesham looked on confused.
"Why not?"
"Because Phupho alone can't take care of the business. The reason behind me studying business in first place. I have to help her. So, this dream kind of faded away when I got into University."
"Oh..."
He didn't know.
"What about you? When are you going to join Atif Uncle's law firm?"
Hesham scratched his neck.
"Never."
"What??"
Safwa was surprised.
"Safi, this country is behind in everything but it is more than behind in law and justice. Yeah, when I got into Law School the plan was clear in front of me that Dad's law firm will be my ultimate designation. But over the course of these three years studying law and cases, I've changed my mind. I won't sit in an office and take up easy cases of media poster kids. No that's not going to happen. I want to take the cases which are demanding. Which leave an impression on me that I helped someone getting justice. Someone who was losing hope I helped them. My tiny part in the betterment of this system. This is what I want to put this law degree to."
When did Hesham Baig started having deep thoughts about his career and line of work?
She didn't know.
Right there, sitting in the room where they had spent a big chunk of their childhood, Safwa Kirmani and Hesham Baig realized the fact that they didn't know each other like they thought they did, since childhood.
"Damn, we did grow up didn't we?"
"We did. We aren't those kids anymore."
"Shit!"
Both exclaimed with identical smiles.
The conversation got back its normality in no time but something had changed,
Realization.
Which had started raising its head in one of them but the other was still oblivious.
Realizations of today and tomorrow, which were going to change the course of their lives soon.
____________
_________