After my breakfast of tasteless stew, I follow Edel through the twists and turns of Special Defence, his dire warning still ringing in my head. An attack on 13 is what we're prepared for but I still can't control the fear I feel whenever I think of the on coming bombs in the near future. Is death and destruction all that awaits in my life?
When we reach the fake meadow, I'm filled with a feeling of joy and relief. It reminds me of the Meadow in 12, surrounded by the song of the mockingjays. Suddenly I'm hit by a feeling so intense I collapse on the soft green grass. The feeling is so intense, it swallows me. I didn't realise how much I missed home.
No. This is home now.
"Hey Alma. Are you alright?" Edel asks.
"Yeah fine," I lie and I stand up and pull myself together. No use making my mark on 13 if my heart lies in another place. "How do we catch the mockingjays?"
"I don't know. I was thinking you sing to them."
"What?"
"Well, a bit like a trap. You draw them in with your voice and some bait and we put them in these cages," says Edel gesturing to the flowers and cages we brought."
"Worth a try," I agree.
The song I sang at the reaping. The day that lead my life to another.
You can't take my past...
Nothing you can take from me was ever worth keeping.
I know I will never let my past go, not really, but maybe this is how I will say goodbye.
Tempted by the fresh flowers and bait, along with my song, they flutter into the cages and Edel closes the door.
We encounter no one as we exit the compound. If there's something District 13 is missing, productivity isn't it. Outside, we're both struck by the sudden sunlight and brightness. Being stuck in the dark does have it's downsides.
"We're allowed go into the woods," Edel informs me.
"Really!?"
He nods.
"Yay!" I cheer. I long to be in the woods again, in the shade of the trees towering above me and the smell of pine trees with red, yellow, orange, brown leaves beneath my feet.
The mockingjays flap, call and sing noisily in their cages. They must see the forest too. Home.
I'm instantly hit with the smell of pine needles and crisp air. The forest floor, coated with a blanket of leaves crunch under my feet. We wander deeper into the woods. At some points, the layer of pine needles muffles our footsteps and we see rabbits and even deer.
In the forest, we open the cages and the birds fly away in an instant. No hesitation.
We set up the cages and arrange the flowers, ready for a new batch of mockingjays to be trapped.
Edel and I sit on a fallen log.
He picks up a twig and brushes the fallen leaves away, revealing the bare forest floor. Soil. He draws a multitude of swirls and patterns while we wait. It's relaxing and for the first time in a long time, I feel at peace with the world.
"I used to play here. When I was younger. Before the war, " Edel says quietly. I turn my head to look at him. "With my friends and sometimes my mother would come with me. We used to make patterns in the soil. I wanted to be an artist."
"I used to go into the forest too. There's a lake outside of 12. Fresh, clear water. I used to go there with the Covey and we had picnics. We went fishing and dug up katniss roots."
"I'd love to go there."
"I'll take you one day." We both knew that was a lie. We can't. But maybe if things were different...
"You know, I came through these woods," I contemplate. "I traveled for a week. I think these woods join many districts together."
"Do you miss it. District 12?" Edel asks me.
"Sometimes," I admit. We had a meadow. It was like the one in Special Defence but it was bigger. I used to go there and write songs. It was the only place of beauty in 12. You should see it in the summer- green grasses, wildflowers of the rainbow and alive with animals and the song of the mockingjays."
"That sounds beautiful."
"Yeah it was. Still is probably. I miss the place."
We sit on the log, drawing patterns in the soil.
"I think the traps are ready now," says Edel.
I look up and see that the traps were alive with mockingjays.
"Let's go. This morning was fun," I smile. And it was. The best I've felt in a while.
I look at Edel. The sunlight falling though the leaves of the trees casts alternating patterns of light and dark on his face. The light has turned his brown eyes to a golden pool of honey that I want to swim in. Lose myself in. I realise how much this boy has meant to me since I came to District 13. Peace in the face of destruction. My heart beats rapidly and I'm scared it's going to fall out of my chest as I move towards Edel and close the gap between our lips.