Kabanata 26:
Home
The silence in the two of us were making me at peace. My head is laying in his chest. His brushing my hair softly and very gentle even his hand is rough and massive. I smiled and look at him. I feel very content in this moment. My heart is pounding loudly as it beats too in overwhelming flutter.
He's looking at me intently, watching my every moves and reactions. I pursed my lips as images of what happened flash on my mind. My cheeks flushed so bad. I pursed my lips and Karson's eyes narrowed.
"I never felt this peace before not until I met you." he whispered sweetly in the side of my ears. His hot breath sent shivers down my spine. I bit my lower lip. Seeing him here beside me still feel surreal.
Hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala na narito siya sa tabi ko at ang mga bisig ay nakapulupot sa akin. It was wrap posseseively like he's owning me wholly and I don't mind. I'll willingly let myself be his property.
"Ganiyan din ang iniisip ko." I whispered lowly and hide my face. Hindi ko alam kung bakit nahihiya ako ngayon sa kanya. Pagkatapos ng nangyari Elysha at mahihiya ka pa? Nag-init ang pisngi ko. Karson embrace me tightly.
The sheets are tangled in both of our body. The night was cold but yet its not enough to make me shiver because of his warm embrace. He kiss my temple and I closed my eyes to feel his lips. Dinarama ang halik niya. Ngayon ko lang naramdaman ang ganitong kalalim na pagmamahal.
A love that makes my heart twisted and gone wild at the same time. A love that makes my systems hyperventilate and makes my insides turn up side down. A love that is drowning and not a bad obssession. I'll willingly give in to this romantic devotion. I'll surrender my heart and mind to this deep and intense passion.
"Talaga?" marahan niyang tanong at tumango ako.
"The demons inside me is making my mind always in haywire and my heart almost at risk of feeling pain. I've been in misery for years. I don't know if I'll make it until today if Lyle's not here. I would give up for sure. Even what happened that night is unexpected, I didn't regret it because you give Lyle to me. He's my angel who save me." his eyes glistened with longing and pain.
I gasped as he kiss my cheeks.
"I'm here now, you won't feel any misery starting today. I'll be your knight to shield you in every arrow of insults and a war of pain. You're safe and at peace as long as I'm here." my heart pounded in his words. I caress his jaw and he closed his eyes a bit. Feeling my touch for him too.
"I'd rather let myself bleed than see you and my son broken." humigpit ang yakap niya sa akin. Hindi ko alam na mas ihihigpit pa pala ang mga iyon. Kulong na kulong na ako sa bisig niya na kahit kaunting galaw ay hindi ko magawa. But the tightness is enough that I can still breathe. This was the soft and tender hug that I'm searching for my whole life and now I found it with the man I fall in love with.
Nanatili kaming tahimik sa ilang minuto. Parang gusto ko lang pakinggan ang mga pintig ng puso namin na nag-iisa at mukhang iyon din ang gusto niya. Kaya hinayaan niya ang kapayapaan sa aming dalawa. Our breathing is like a beat mixing to the music of our hearts. It was a melody that's pleasing our ears.
Tumingala ako sa kanya at hindi na nagulat ng makita siyang mataman nang nakatitig sa akin. Ngumiti ako at ganoon din siya. He crouched down to kiss my lips and my mouth parted. It was a long and soft kiss. It's full of passion and love. Kaya hindi ko na maawat pa ang nagwawala ko na namang puso pagkatapos.
"Narinig ko nga pala ang usapan n-niyo ni Clyde. M-May problema ba sa negosyo niyo sa Maynila?" tanong ko. Binabagabag kasi ako ng ideya noon kanina pa. Nawaglit lang sa isip ko dahil sa lahat ng nangyari.
Karson's dark eyes darted on me. Even both of us are at peace, his eyes would never change. Its still intense as the first time I saw it. Hindi siya agad nagsalita at naghintay ako sa sasabihin niya. I think this topic is important. Nag-aalala rin ako para sa mga gawain at trabaho niya na iniwan sa Manila. Gusto kong nandito siya pero hindi ko ipagkakait sa kanya ang buhay na nakagisnan niya dati.
My life compared to him is much different. Sobrang layo ng agwat nang aming buhay na nakakapanliit ang mero ako. Kaya ang mapagtanto siyang ngayong nasa tabi ko at makita ang mga emosyon na iyon sa kanyang mga mata ay hindi kapani-paniwala. Ilang beses ko bang sasabihin? Na ang lahat ng ito ay ginugulat pa ako. Seeing him here in my own eyes softly caressing my hair and staring at me with sincere love in his eyes were a breathtaking view that my heart can't take.
Lubos na kasiyahan at kapanatagan ang nararamdaman ko ngayon na narito siya sa tabi ko.
"Don't be bothered about that. Its nothing." tumaas ang kilay ko sa naging sagot niya.
"It doesn't seem like nothing to me. You're the president of your company right? I heard too that you have good skills in business. You ace it. Kaya sino na ang namamahala ngayon? I think you're family is asking you to come back. I want you here but I don't want to lose your passion because of us." kung kanina ay nakatitig na siya ng mataman, ngayon ay halos hindi na siya kumurap sa pagtuon ng mga mata sa akin.
His eyes is pearcing my soul that I feel like floating in a cloud nine. It was an overwhelming feeling. He lick his lower lip.
"God, baby. What I've done good in the past that I got a sincere and kind woman like you? I feel so lucky to fall in love with you."
"A-Ako ang suwerte sa ating dalawa. Hindi ko rin alam kung anong ginawa ko at narito ka ngayon. Hindi ako makapaniwala. Sobrang taas mo. I was always looking up to you like those people. You're too high that I can't reach you even I done everything. K-Kaya anong nagawa ko at sinusubukan pa lang kuhanin ka pero narito ka na at nahahawakan k-ko." my voice shake and I don't know if its because of the overwhelming feeling that my eyes heated.
"You don't need to try to get me, because I'll always surrender myself to you. If I'm too high then I step down so you won't need to reach me. Hindi kita papahirapan dahil ako ang aabot sayo." tumulo ang mga luha ko roon at pinunasan niya iyon ng napakarahan at lambot na para bang isa akong babasaging bagay.
"After what happened, I won't force you again to step in my world you're scared of. Gustong gusto kong ipakilala ang mundo ko sayo pero kung natatakot ka huwag na lang. I won't risk you, Elysha. Dito lang ako kung saan ka panatag at ligtas."
"Mananatili ka sa mundo kong mahirap na hindi ka sanay at hindi kailanman nakagisnan?"
"Walang mahirap sa akin kung hawak kita at ang anak natin. I can endure everything as long as I hold the two of you." nag-init ang mata ko sa sinabi niya. Nahigit ang hininga. Hindi ako makapaniwala sa mga salita na naririnig sa kanya.
Kung panaginip ito ay sana hindi na ako magising. Pananatilihin kong sarado ang mga mata. Hahayaan ko ang sariling malunod sa panaginip na ito.
"Pero hindi ko gustong iwanan mo ang mundong kinalakhan mo. I'm willing to take a risk to embrace your world. Kahit paunti unti. Kahit natatakot ako. Kahit mahirap. I'm scared but when I look at your eyes everything faded. Ikaw na lang ang nakikita ko. Kaya handa akong yakapin ang mundo na gusto mong ipakilala sa akin." umawang ang labi niya. Amusement filled his eyes.
"Elysha..."
"Even it makes me terrified, I know I will like and love it eventually. Kagaya nang nangyari sa nararamdaman ko sayo. I'm afraid to fall but as long as the water embrace my whole body even I freeze and shiver in coldness, I let myself get drown eventually. Gustong gusto ko ng pakiramdam ng paglunod sayo."
"Fuck, baby. What are you doing to me?" he brush his hair and I chuckled.
"I want to know your world. Would you let me, baby?" my voice shake a bit calling him in his endearment. My cheeks flushed. His dark eyes filled with intense amusement. Hindi ko alam kung bakit parang humahanga siya at natutuwa ngayon sa sinasabi ko.
"Do you think I'll still have a choice huh? You make me lost the ability to disgareed on you. You're good at using sweet words to defeat me. Tss." I don't know if it was a scoffed or a normal statement from him.
"Hmmm. I want to see you wearing a corporate attire and looking so serious working in your office." he groaned as I whispered it to him.
"Sumusuko na nga ako bakit patuloy pa rin sa pagtulak?" aniya at tumawa ako. Humigpit ang yakap niya sa akin at pinupog ako ng halik sa leeg. I giggled in his tickling kisses.
"We'll be back in Manila then."
"I want it tomorrow." he groaned. Sounding so frustrated. Kumunot naman ang noo ko kung bakit ganito ang reaksiyon niya.
"Baby have mercy on me! The time I'll come back, for sure I'll have tons of work. Ayoko munang magtrabaho. I just want to stay here and cuddle with you. Nakakaisa pa lang ako gusto mo nang kumawala sa akin."
A marvelous businessman Karson Dwight Salvatierra, tinatamad magtrabaho! Pero ang mas nakaawag ng pansin ko ay ang dalawang huling pangungusap na sinabi niya. Namilog ang mga mata ko at tumingin sa kanya ng sumisinghap. He chuckled on my reaction and I hit his chest.
My cheeks flushed so bad as he laugh sexily. The sound of his deep laugh is making my insides turn.
"But I still have ways to make love to you anyway. My office has a wide desk. Better than the sink." kung may rarahas pa ang pagsinghap ko iyon na ang nagawa ko ngayon. Kinurot ko siya sa braso para matigil siya sa kalokohan niya pero mas lalo lang siyang tumawa. The vibration of his laugh makes my sytems hyperventilate.
Natigil lang ako sa pagkurot sa kanya ng maramdaman ang malamig na bagay na pumasada sa daliri ko na hinahawakan ni Karson. Bumagsak ang tingin ko roon at nahigit ko ang hininga ng makita ang isang singsing. A ring with a perfect shape and a complicated design engrave on it. My eyes heated when I see the white diamond on the center. My lips quiver as my whole body, all organs and systems stop functioning.
"A-Ano 'to?" he intertwined our fingers tightly after he slide the ring in my finger. Nanginginig ang kamay ko nang inangat niya iyon. Umawang ang labi ko. Nangingilid ang luha. Bumaling sa akin si Karson.
"I want to marry you after your graduation. I won't make longer, Elysha."
"A-Ang bilis mo namang magdesisyon. Marriage is not a joke, Karson. You'll be tied to me."
"That's what I want since my eyes laid on you, Elysha. I want to tie the knot with you. I'm doing this not just to give Lyle a complete family but because I love you too." napatulala ako sa kanya. My heart thumped in a fast pace and in a violent way.
"A-Are you sure?" he chuckled on my questions. Humigpit ang yakap niya sa akin.
"Beyond the word, baby. You'll marry me after your graduation. Akin ka na, hindi ka na puwedeng makawala sa akin." my heart feels warm and flutter on that. Hindi ko maiwasang mapangiti habang nakatitig sa mga daliri ko. The tears fall in my cheek amd Karson wipe it softly.
"I love you. You're the only one woman who I can see myself in the future. Wala ng iba at tanging ikaw lang." patuloy na tumulo ang luha ko at hinalikan niya ang kamay ko kung nasaan ang singsing.
"N-Nakikita ko lang din ang sarili ko na sayo lang. I won't marry anyone if it's not you, Karson. I love you." I said and he crouch down to give me a soft kiss in my lips. Sandali lang iyon at ngumisi siya pagkatapos.
"Gusto ko na ring sundan si Lyle." he whispered sensually and my cheeks flushed.
"Karson!" saway ko pero tumawa lang siya. Kinurot ko muli siya sa braso niya.
Hindi ko alam kung anong oras na kami nakatulog. Malalim na ang gabi pero patuloy pa rin sa mga pang-aasar si Karson. I always pinch his arms that just make him laugh. I just feel my eyes closing as he embrace me tight to sleep. That night I feel so content and I can't contain my own happiness.
Slowly darkness enwrap me as I feel my heart blazing in so much peace and love. I can't wish for more as long as he's here and I'm hearing his heartbeat like a soft lullaby drifting me to a deep slumber.
Naging mabilis ang paghahanda namin para sa pagpunta sa Maynila. Hindi sa sabik ako pero sa tingin ko kailangan na talagang bumalik ni Karson. Clyde went in our house again. Hindi makakatakas sa akin ang gulat at pagkamangha niya ng ideklara ni Karson na babalik siyang Maynila.
He looks taken aback. Para bang hindi makapaniwala na magagawa iyon ni Karson. Clyde look at me. Hindi lang kami magkausap dahil abala pa ako sa pag-impake ng damit namin ni Lyle. Kaunti lang naman ang dadalhin namin kagaya ng sinabi ni Karson.
"You make him agreed to went back in Manila?" tanong ni Clyde nang makakuha siya ng pagkakataon. Karson's carrying the duffle bag and luggages on the back of the car. Si Lyle ay nasa backseat at panay ang tanong sa Papa niya. Mukhang sabik na sabik na makita muli ang Maynila.
"I heard your conversation yesterday. I'm sorry but I think his family wants him to come back. Hindi ko naman siya ipagkakait sa mga iyon."
"Actually his family are panicking now for their gone CEO. The company will fall down easily without Karson. He's good at business. Malaki siyang kawalan sa kompanya kahit na ilang buwan pa lang siyang mawawala. I think no one can handle the company as good as him, but now he has a son. For sure he will replaced him in a right time." natigilan naman ako sa sinabi niya. He smiled at me.
"Lyle likes guns."
"That's more interesting. I hope I still alive to witness how he would handle the company while he has passion for firearms. Your son would grew better than his father. His father is great now and I'm certain that Lyle will be amusingly great in the future."
"But I don't want him to grew up that fast. Hindi ko yata kakayanin kapag nahiwalay siya sa akin." tumawa siya sa sinabi ko. Karson turned us with his dark and intense eyes. He cleared his throat and Clyde shook his head.
"Years run so fast. You'll just see Lyle making his name in the business industry without further notice. You'll be so proud of him, I'm sure."
"I know, I'm always proud of him."
"Congrats by the way." bumagsak ang tingin niya sa kamay ko kung nasaan ang singsing at nag-init ang pisngi ko.
"T-Thank you." sagot ko at ngumiti siya bago ako iwan roon. I heard Clyde chuckled and pat Karson's shoulder. Karson is looking at him sharply using his dark menacing eyes like Clyde did a crime.
"Damn, I didn't do anything." tumawa pa si Clyde nang nilagpasan na si Karson para pumunta sa SUV na nasa likod namin. Karson look at me. Mukha pa ring badtrip at kumunot ang noo ko.
"Anong pinag-usapan niyo?" tanong niya at nagkibit balikat lang ako.
"Tungkol kay Lyle." simple kong sinabi at binuksan niya na ang pintuan para sa akin. His brows were still furrowed as he look at me. He looks so mad suddenly with unknown reason. Ayos pa naman siya kanina ah. Bakit biglang ganito.
Hindi na siya nagsalita at inayos na ang seatbelt ko. Umikot siya pagkatapos noon He start driving still with irritation in his intense eyes. Tinignan ko siya. Diretso lang ang tingin niya sa daanan habang nasa likod namin si Clyde. Hindi ko siya makausap dahil nagtatanong sa akin si Lyle.
I talk with my son for minutes when Lyle get tired of it and he decide to sleep. Nang malalim na ang tulog ni Lyle ay bumaling ako kay Karson.
"Bakit ka nagagalit?" tanong ko. May ideya na ako kung ano pero pinili kong huwag isatinig. Pakiramdam ko kasi mas lalo lang siyang maiirita.
"Nothing." he said looking so snob and badtrip. My lips twisted and the side of it curl up. Kinagat ko lang ng mabilis nang mapalingon sa akin si Karson. I don't know why I find his irritated expression so funny. Karson brows furrowed again. Hindi ko na mapigilan at sumilay ang ngiti sa labi ko.
"Anong nakakatawa?" mariin at madilim ang mga mata niyang sabi.
"Nagseselos ka ba?" sa maliit kong tinig sinabi. Hindi ko alam kung saan ako nakakuha ng lakas ng loob na sabihin iyon sa kanya pero siguro dahil sa gaan ng pakiramdam ko ngayong nakikita ko ang ekspresyon niya.
Hindi siya nagsalita. Nag-iwas lang ng tingin sa akin at mas lalo akong napangisi. His one thick brows arch in my smirk. I move closer and held his arm. His jaw clenched.
"I don't know why are you suddenly become mad. But I just want to tell you that even I had a conversation with other man no one won't replaced you in my heart. You don't need to be jealous. Sayo lang naman ako." marahan kong sinabi at nakita kong huminga siya ng malalim.
Like controlling something. He grip the steering wheel and I smirk. Mukha siyang nahihirapan sa kung ano.
"Baby, don't torment me with your sweet words while I'm driving. Damn, I can't risk having an accident. Gustong gusto mo talagang pinapahirapan ako." napanguso ako sa sinabi niya at tinignan siya ng inosente.
"I'm not doing anything. I just making you feel better."
"My irritation fade but it shift to something more intense. Damn, I want to kiss you but I can't. Hinayaan mo na lang sana akong magalit." I chuckled on what he said and he groaned. He grip more the steering wheel and I bit my lower lip.
It was a long ride to Manila. Nakatulog ako habang patuloy na nagmamaneho si Karson. Hindi ko na namalayan. Pagdilat ko ng mga mata ay paghapong araw na ang nakita ko. I adjust my eyes and I saw skyscraper, tall buildings and lot of establishment. The sign that we're now in the city.
I sigh, waves of memories flashes in my mind. Kahit may mga ilang masalimuot at hindi magandang memorya sa lugar na ito ay ramdam ko pa rin ang pag-iinit ng puso kapag nakikita ang mga matatayog na gusali. Even this city is busy and chaotic I still like it because this is the place where I met the man I only love. The fall who invade my mind and heart.
Whenever I see skyscraper, his image is the first one who comes in my mind. Lahat ng bagay o tanawin na nakikita ko rito ay nagpapaalala sa akin sa kanya. Hindi mabubuo ang kaisipan ko sa siyudad na ito ng hindi siya sumasagi sa isip ko.
"We'll go home in my house." aniya nang maramdaman na gising na ako. Lyle is stell fall asleep. I turned at him and nod. Pumasok kami sa isang exclusive village. Malaki ang tarangkahan na kulay puti at ginto ang disenyo. The guard salute to Karson after opening the grand gate. Karson nod and thank the guard. Umandar ang sasakyan ng ilang minuto, medyo malayo pa sa gate ng village.
We stop in the tall and massive gray gate with black intricate designs. Binuksan rin iyon ng guard na galing sa loob ng bahay, no its not just a house, its a mansion. Pagkabukas ng tarangkahan ay ilang segundong pagmamaneho pa dahil malayo pa ang mansiyon. Nakalatag ang mga bermuda grass sa paligid at mga organisadong halaman sa bawat gilid. I even see two fountain in the sides of their wide garden. Wala akong makitang dahon na naligaw, mukhang kakalinis lang.
Karson manuevered the steering in a precise move to park. My mouth parted as I saw the three story wide spanish with a touch of modern design mansion. Karson open the door. Tinanggal ko ang seatbelt at tinulungan niya ako roon ng mabuksan niya ang pinto sa banda ko.
The housemaid and some mens immediately fall in line just distance away from us. Mukhang nag-aantay ng utos mula sa among bagong dating.
"Get the luggage and the duffle bag in the backseat, please." utos ni Karson sa isang lalaki na naroon na mabilis namang tumango at sumunod. The eyes of the maids are all on me. I can see their curious and wondering eyes on seeing a new face here. I cleared my throat and shifted in my stance.
Karson get Lyle in the backseat. Nang lumabas sila ay kinukusot na ng anak ko ang mga mata. Mukhang nagising nang maramdamang huminto na ang sasakyan. He encircled his arms in Karson's neck as his Papa carried him in his arm. Mabilis na bumagsak ang mga mata roon ng mga kasambahay.
Karson pat Lyle's cheek softly to wake him up and he chuckled.
"Papa are we already home?" naantok na tanong ng anak ko at ang narinig kong sumunod ay ang mga singhapan ng mga kasambahay na nakahilera sa likod ko. Their jaw dropped and their eyes widen. Looking so bewildered as what they heard and see. I can't blame them though. I will be surprise too seeing my boss coming back with a son and a girl too.
I sigh as I watch them. Tumingin sa akin si Karson at naglakad papalapit sa akin. Lyle's head is resting in his shoulder. Mukhang hindi pa nakakabawi sa antok niya.
"C'mon let's eat. For sure you're starving." aya niya at hinawakan ang kamay ko para igiya papasok. Narinig pa ako ng pagsinghap at gulat na mga mata ng kasambahay pero mabilis silang kumilos para pagsilbihin si Karson. Nagpatianod ako sa hila ni Karson. Bahagya na rin nga akong nagugutom.
But my hunger faded when my eyes roamed around inside the mansion. My eyes dilate seeing the fascinating elegant interior design. It has a classic spanish theme while the furnitures were modern and looking so expensive. My eyes darted in the large and grand staircase. It was as beautiful as what I seen in movies. The complicated designs in the railings are pleasing to the eyes. It was so amusing.
The splendid designs are same in the castle's staircase. The chandelier place in a center position. It was like a sun giving light in the whole mansion. The house looks so majestic and breathtaking. I suddenly feel out of place here. Pakiramdam ko hindi ako nababagay sa ganitong elegante at engrandeng mansiyon. Mas lalo ko lang naramdaman ang layo ng agwat naming dalawa.
Humigpit ang hawak sa akin ni Karson na para bang alam niya ang iniisip ko. His finger caress my hand and in an instant my worries faded.
"We're already home." he whispered and my anticipation vanish.
He smiled at me and I smiled back. I heard my every steps in the cleaned marbled floor. Pagkapasok namin sa dining area ay may nakahanda ng maraming pagkain. Para bang pinaghandaan na itong pagdating namin ni Karson. Naninibago lang ako dahil sa dami ng bilang ng pagkain roon.
Tatlo lang naman kami at tingin ko ay sobra sobra iyon. But I think this is how normal they welcomed the house owner huh. I wouldn't understand since I didn't experience this kind of wealthly life. Kay Karson normal lang ito dahil simila nung mamulat siya sa mundo ito na ang nakagisnan niya.
"Do I need to eat a lot, Papa?" si Lyle na mukhang gising na ngayon. Worry is etched in his face. Mukhang nag-aalala na kakain siya ng sobrang rami. Lyle doesn't want to have a stomach ache. Tumawa si Karson at napangiti naman ako sa tanong ng anak.
"No, of course. Kainin mo lang ang gusto mong dami." my son sigh in relief and I can't help to chuckled. Hinila ni Karson ang upuan para sa akin at tahimik akong umupo. Si Lyle naman ay nasa tabi ko habang nasa kabisera si Karson. The maid immediately poured our glass a juice.
"Are you okay? Ang tahimik mo." baling sa akin ni Karson at ngumiti ako sa tanong niya.
"Ayos lang ako." simple kong saad at tumuon ang mga mata niya sa akin parang may ideya na sa iniisip ko. I sigh and my heart leap when he hold my hand.
"Don't think anything bad. You deserve to be here. You completed my life when I met you and Lyle exist. Giving you a wealthy life in return is the only thing I can, when you accept my love."
"H-Hindi ko lang mapigilang maramdaman. I feel so out of place--"
"No, you're not. You won't feel out of place because this place will be our home together. You'll love this eventually, baby. Trust me." huminga lang ako ng malalim sa sinabi ni Karson. He didn't stop cheering me up. Hindi naman masama ang pakiramdam ko pero pakiramdam ko hindi ako bagay rito.
"Don't think of that anymore. You'll be use in this life. Ito lang ang kaya kong maibigay sayo nang dinala mo si Lyle sa mundong ito. I want the mother of my child experience a wealthy life." I pursed my lips as I feel better in his words. Ngumisi siya ng makita ang reaksiyon ko at sumuko na ako. Nagsimula na kaming kumain. I feed Lyle.
A maid volunteer for help. Marahan kong tinanggahan iyon dahil kaya ko naman. She nod and smiled at me. Ngumiti ako pabalik. Maayos kaming kumakain nang biglang humahangos na pumasok ang isang kasambahay. She seems in panic and I stop chewing my food.
"What is it, Maria?" tanong ni Karson nang mapansin rin ang panik at pagmamadali ng isang kasambahay. Mukha siyang takot dahil namumutla pa siya.
"N-Narito po si Senyora, Sir. G-Gusto daw pong makita kayo." I shifted in my seat when I heard that. Nagkatinginan kami ni Karson. He look at me intently like telling me to calm down but its already too late. My heart pounded in nervous as beads of sweats formed in my forehead. Nanginig rin ang mga kamay kong may hawak ng kubyertos.
"Who is it Papa?" tanong ng anak ko at bumaling si Karson sa kanya.
"Your Lola, son. She wants to talk to me and probably to see you." Karson said and my son smiled, looking excited suddenly. Lyle look at me and I tried hard to smile back at him.