Love was a delicate yet simple concept.
If you cherish love, you get to keep it, but that meant you could easily lose it if you wander too far from it till you forget how to. You had seen it in movies, read about it in books, but it wasn't until your own heart strings were pulled on constantly for months that you knew the feeling of love. It was a blessing, but something that kept you up at night and made you wonder if you loved him enough. Did he even love you back?
It had been a few months since you and Tom broke up, but you were starting to get used to life without him. Even though you didn't even date for a year, you both thought you were each other's "forever". The night you broke up is one of few memories you can remember verbatim.
The argument wasn't so much yelling, but running into a bunch of misunderstandings that you didn't know about until that final moment. Both of you wanted different things and aspired to go different places, too busy fantasizing that you never realized how completely opposite your lives were headed from one another's.
You remember how exhausted you were, but you lost track of time with how heated you two became. After Tom walked away and slammed the front door, you stood in silence and leaned your hands against the top of the couch. When you stopped sniffling, you heard the birds chirping outside and the dark-orange sunlight gleamed through the blinds of your windows.
While you dealt with feeling guilty, Tom was angry and upset because he thought he knew everything. He admitted, he was stubborn sometimes, but you brought out the softer side in him. Tom grew bitter from it, putting up his guard and disregarding the feelings he felt from it. He tried to forget, but it was so hard to ignore words he couldn't take back.
It was mid-morning when you arrived at your friend's wedding, the light wind rustling the leaves of the big trees surrounded by the estate and the cobblestone driveway leading up to the open doors. Everyone walked in with their dates, linked arm in arm or one around the shoulders. You decided not to go with anyone, but you were beginning to regret that decision when you noticed almost everyone showed up with a date.
When you entered through the mansion, you heard your heels click against the granite floors. The house has been in the family since the nineteenth century, but the family had given it a modern touch because they made it their summer home when they went out to the countryside of Wales.
You'd rarely traveled from England, but seeing the scenery on the car ride there made it worth it. Early summer was warm, the frost melted away and colorful flowers bloomed again after light rainfall in spring. It was a time to feel free and grow, but all you could think of was it was around the time you met Tom a year ago.
You brushed the ends of your forest green dress, making sure the ends were flat to prevent any more embarrassment you could feel. You felt the stares of old women staring at your legs, murmuring to themselves about how revealing your dress was.
As you looked over your shoulder at them, your heel stuck between the stones which twisted your ankle and made you lose your balance, but you fell into the arms of a stranger.
"Thanks." You huffed, relieved you didn't face-plant in front of an entire crowd.
"Don't mention it." They smiled, fixing their tie.
After you made sure your heels weren't scuffed, you looked back up and were taken back by the familiar pair of light-blue eyes. You widened your eyes from the surprise of seeing Harrison, remembering how blue his eyes actually were, almost icy. His hair was a lot darker, more of a brunette than his usual dirty blonde. Just like the seasons, people can change too.
"Hey Y/N." Harrison grinned. "You look good."
"T-Thanks, um, so do you." You smiled, putting your hair in your face behind your ear.
He shrugged, "Ah, thanks. This is just what I look like when I put in effort." Harrison joked, glancing at the ground then back into your eyes.
You chuckled, continuing to avoid eye contact from his ocean eyes. That was the thing about Harrison, his eyes were steel, almost silver and you would think he's cold, but you saw so much warmness and comfort.
"Are you with anyone?" He asked, taking a quick glance over his shoulder.
You nodded, "Nope, came alone. What about you?"
"No, well, sort of."
You furrowed your eyebrow, "Sort of?"
Harrison bit his bottom lip, sealing his lips after he scratched the back of his neck.
"Hey, did you remember the room keys?" A voice asked from behind you.
You turned around, your hair moving behind your shoulders. Tom stopped walking, his hand dropping his car keys in the other while his mouth slightly gapped. The both of you froze, feeling like time had stopped and all you could hear was your heart beginning to race, as if it was echoing in an empty room.
"Hey.." Tom trailed, not cracking a smile, but you could see his jaw clench.
"Hey." You replied.
Your eyes shifted back to Harrison, "I'll see you later."
Without giving Tom another look, you walked away with your head high and you tried to relax your shoulders. The two boys watched you saunter toward the flowery venue, Tom's lips going to the side as his brown eyes studied you. He didn't know that seeing you again would bring back memories, more good than bad, but he knew deep down you still hadn't forgiven him.
The bride, Rebeccah, had invited you since you had been friends since freshman year of college. You met her at a mixer in your dorm and a few weeks later, she introduced you to Tom on a night out. Tom remembers when he saw you by the bar, standing out in your baby blue top. You thought it was cute how nervous he was, his thick curls growing out during the winter.
It felt bittersweet that she met her soon-to-be husband after you met Tom, but you weren't jealous, not at all. She had told you how happy she was, and you were for her, and you'd rather want them happy and working then you and Tom arguing and creating more problems. Tom just wasn't the one and it took you a long time to be able to admit it.
"That wasn't awkward." Harrison sarcastically said, putting his hands in his pockets.
Tom nodded, "We haven't talked since we broke up."
"Yeah, couldn't tell." His best friend patted his shoulder before wrapping his arm around them, guiding him to walk with him.
Before the ceremony started, everyone was mingling, catching up with one another if it had been a while or introducing people they had been dating or brought as a friend. You were lucky enough to know at least two people there, your friends from college that you had spoken to mostly over texts and face-times when you went back to the States.
"I heard that only a few of us were invited since it's so far away." One of your friends, Tracey, said.
"It's a beautiful place though, everyone is missing out." The other girl, Kelsey, smiled.
You hummed, agreeing with her statement before you looked out at the grounds, the open area seeming to go for miles, filled with wildflowers and tall grass until you saw the wooden fence that separated the forest. It was like a princess' fantasy, Juliet meeting her Romeo in the middle so they can seal their forbidden love.
"Hey, I think they're about to start. See you guys at the reception?" Tracey asked.
You and Kelsey both nodded before turning around and heading toward the white, folding chairs. As you searched for a seat, you hesitated to take anywhere you thought someone was saving or even a whole row that seemed like it was reserved.
"Hey! Y/N."
You turn around, seeing Tom with his hand raised.
"There's a seat here."
You clenched your jaw, almost wanting to refuse but they were quickly filling up. You didn't say a word, instead quickly walking over and giving Tom a small smile as you passed him. You slowly sat down, making sure your dress was under you and you put your purse under the seat. You looked over your shoulder, seeing Harrison and he smiled at you, placing his hand on your shoulder for a few seconds.
As the traditional music played from the small band, everyone's eyes followed each person down the aisle. Tom's cheeks were tinted pink, not sure if he should say anything, especially during the middle of the wedding. He cracked his knuckles, his hands laid between his legs and your eyes fixated on them until you stood up for Rebeccah.
She appeared as an angel with her long, light veil covering her face and the sunlight coming down to give her an ethereal glow. The train of her dress glided smoothly behind her, no tears or bunches so it was smoothed out. She had her hands tight around her bouquet of white and light yellow roses, a piece of ivory silk wrapped around the stems to bundle them together.
Her stomach was filled with butterflies, but she was relieved to see familiar faces. You grinned at her and she flashed a quick smile at you. When she got to the end of the aisle and met her fiancé, you sighed and tears welled up on your waterline.
After the ceremony, everyone headed to the house for food and drinks while they set up the tent and tables outside. Tom got up from his seat, blocking the aisle to make sure you got out with no problem. You thanked him and began to walk, but Tom nodded to Harrison before he caught up with you.
"That was a really great ceremony." He said, walking by your side.
You turned to him, "Yeah. Really nice."
Tom's cheeks tinted pink, "I bet it's worth it coming from across the pond."
"I actually moved to London two months ago. I got a job offer and it all worked out."
He raised his eyebrows, "Oh, well, that's great to hear. Really great."
You couldn't help but crack a small smile, "What have you been up to?"
Tom rubbed the back of his neck, "I'm still working for the investment firm in London. I was starting to get tired of the commute to Oxford and I got promoted, so I could move to the base of our company."
You weren't sure if Tom was flaunting his success to show he was doing well or simply catching up and making conversations, but it was just nice to hear his voice again. You didn't think your guard could drop so fast for someone who had hurt you so badly, but that was just it. As easy as it was to disconnect and hate him, it was just as easy to fall for him all over again.
"That's great to hear, Tom." You said, grinning at him.
Tom thought you looked stunning, someone he didn't know how he let go. He was happy to hear your voice too, especially after you seemed so cold not even a few hours ago. He didn't plan on seeing you nor was he going to swoop in and ask to have you back, but when his eyes fell on you, it was hard not to think about it. But, he was almost sure that you had found someone else by now.
"Hey, um, can we talk later? After the reception?" Tom asked, sealing his lips after.
You were surprised he asked, even though it wasn't painted on your face, but there was a strong tingle that trailed up your spine. It was like a sense that it was a bad idea and it would only lead to a trail of regrets to follow you back to your new life.
"Um, I-I don't know, Tom." You said nervously.
"I know things ended bad between us, but I just want to catch up more. Maybe over a drink... please." Tom's eyes were slowly turning glassy, not knowing if he sounded completely desperate.
You sighed, "I'm sorry, Tom.." You told him before you walked away, hard to not look back.
Tom sucked on his teeth, looking down at his feet before Harrison walked up to him.
He watched you walk away as well, "I assume that didn't go well."
Tom nodded his head, "I don't know what I was thinking."
"You were thinking that you were going to get her back, like you always do, then make-up until something else about your lives came up and then you break up... again." Harrison tried to amuse Tom.
"It's not funny. I just thought that, I don't know. Things were in the past."
"And by things, you mean, cheating." Harrison quickly said.
Tom scoffed, "For the last time, I never cheated on Y/N. Okay?– It was based on assumption."
"So, you just want an apology?" Harrison asked.
"No. I just want to talk to her... I missed her." Tom watched you walk into the house with your friends on either of your sides.
As the reception went on, filled with laughs and celebration, the sun began to set which made the atmosphere cooled down and comfortable. Everyone moved from the house to the tent set outside and there was a smooth, wooden dance floor and a sea of white fairy lights were strung along the top. It was something out of a fairytale and you couldn't help but take it all in.
While you were seated at a table with some of your friends, Tom and Harrison were talking to the groomsmen by the dance floor. All of them had a beer in their hand and loud laughs would come from their huddle every now and then. You nursed your mixed-seltzer drink, not able to get out of your funk since you talked to Tom.
The both of you exchanged quick glances at one another, quickly turning your heads. You felt foolish, like a kid who had a crush on the playground, but just like the playground, you could get hurt if you weren't careful. You kept telling yourself that there was no use in talking, it only lead to arguing from the last times you spoke. Why talk to a brick wall? But your eyes would fall on Tom again, thinking what he could have possibly wanted to talk about.
"Hey, you're not having fun?" Harrison asked, sitting in the seat next to you.
You snapped out of your daze, "No, I'm just tired."
Tom was staring at you two, taking a drink from his cold brew in case you looked his way again.
"C'mon, it's a party. Dance, drink, it's not a funeral." Harrison joked, laying his arms on top of the headrest of the chair. He tilted his head at you, his head laying on top of his arms and his blue eyes gleaming from the bright lights.
You grinned, "You haven't changed a bit, you know that?"
He shrugged, "I'm just the best." He smiled and you lightly hit his shoulder.
As the upbeat pop song faded, "Can't Take My Eyes Off You" began to play and everyone headed toward the dance floor with their dates. You watched as the lights dimmed a bit, Rebeccah and her husband in the center. Her white ball gown made her like the pistil of a flower and the women in their light-colored dresses were the pedals waving in the wind.
"Why don't you find some pretty girl and dance with her? I bet there's some girl dying to dance with you." You teased Harrison, crossing your legs as you watched everyone slowly merge into the dance floor.
"Okay." He smirked, getting up from his chair.
Your eyes were glued to everyone else until Harrison blocked your vision, standing in front of you with his hand out, "May I have this dance?"
You tried to hide your smile, but giggled anyways, "Only because you're so sweet."
You walked around your chair, taking his hand as the two of you walked to the outside of the dance floor. Tom continued to watch, clenching his jaw even though he knew Harrison would never do something like what he was thinking. He wished he could swoop in like that, but Tom wanted you to be happy and you looked it.
He missed making you smile.
Tucking your hair behind your ear so he could have a clear view of your face.
Kissing your forehead before you went to bed.
The laughter, the tickles, the endless nights.
"Hey, do you wanna dance?" One of the bridesmaid's asked Tom, her eyes a dreamy hazel.
"Sure." Tom grinned, putting down his drink before he gently took her hand.
Her pale yellow sundress moved with her so gracefully. Her wavy, brown hair touched the end of her back, her heels a simple milk white tone. She wrapped her arms around Tom's neck, intertwining her hands together as they swayed back and forth. She was gorgeous, goddess-like with a gold band hugging her tricep and glowing tan-skin, but Tom couldn't help but through the crowd, right at you and Harrison.
Your smile was so big, the biggest he had seen today. You secured your arms around Harrison's neck, pinning them as you placed your head on his shoulder. You closed your eyes for a few seconds, smelling the strong fresh pine scent on his neck. When you opened your eyes, they laid on Tom and the girl he was dancing with.
You lightly gripped the back of Harrison's shirt, a bit baggy on him, but you felt yourself hold your breath. She was looking at Tom like you used to look at him, glossy eyes and a soft smile. When they turned, Tom saw you looking and you didn't take your eyes away this time. You felt your heart melt a bit, his curls falling against his forehead.
Tom licked his lips, trying to blink away the tears he felt coming. You gave him a small grin, it was sincere and sweet. Tom gave the same grin back, hoping it sent the same message. That you were both okay.
As you pulled your head away from Harrison's shoulder, he spun you around as the chorus picked up and the sound of the trumpets and trombones grew louder. You threw your head back in laughter as Harrison pulled you back into his arms.
Harrison laughed as he caught you in his arms, dipping you to the left side with his hand flat against your back to let your head hang. He pulled you back up quickly before twirling you again, drifting through the other couples in the crowd.
Tom spun his girl around and she was quick on her feet, moving perfectly with him. She held Tom's hands as they swayed back and forth, trying to move with the crowd as well. She had eyed him all night, her friend's egging her on to take him back to her room at the estate, but one of them brought up how Tom was still stuck on you and he needed to get over it. Her hand ran through the back of his head as they twirled around and Tom didn't mind it, but his sparkly brown eyes found you again.
"You're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off of you." Harrison sang to you, your hand in his against his chest.
You giggled before you pivoted around him, balanced on your heels and the ends of your dress lifting lightly until you finished your spin. It was the biggest smile you had all night, your confidence grew the more you felt like no one was watching. But, once you held Harrison again, you saw Tom was still looking your way.
Your stomach dropped, not being able to look away. Harrison's words were going in one ear and out the other, as if Tom was under a single spotlight. It's like your pull to him was becoming stronger the more you looked at him, pushing the problems you had to the back of your head and wanting to jump into his arms.
"Hey, I'm gonna get some air." You interrupted Harrison's singing.
"Alright, you okay?"
"I'm fine." You quickly said, giving a quick grin.
Your hands slipped away from his, the tips of his fingers brushing over your palm before you walked away. Tom saw you retreat to the opening of the tent and into the open backyard. His mouth gaped a bit, seeing your figure fade into the darkness.
"You okay?" She giggled.
Tom nodded, "Um, one second." He told her, placing his hand on her shoulder before he gently pushed through the crowd.
After your eyes adjusted to the night's darkness, you saw a big and tall willow tree with a bench built into the trunk. As you wiped the tears falling from your waterline, you sat down and sniffled, stifling your crying by covering your mouth. The branches had jars with lights inside them, giving a warm yellow glow to your skin so you were able to see your tears drop on the hand rest on your crossed legs.
Tom looked around, his head turning till he saw you sitting alone. He began to walk over, but became more and more hesitant the closer he got. He could hear you whimpering. He wondered what could have made you shift from being so happy just a few moments ago to bursting into tears the next.
Your back was against the trunk, your eyes squeezed closed while the muscles in your face were tense till they were numb. Tom slowly walked up with his hands in his pockets, sealing his lips and not wanting to spook you.
"Hey." He said softly.
You lifted your head, surprised to see Tom, but you quickly tried to wipe away your tears.
"Hey, sorry." You sniffled, shifting over to give him room to sit.
He sat next to you, enough space that it wasn't intrusive, but just the distance to know he was wanting to listen. He twisted his ring on his index finger as he glanced at you, staring out into the open and watching the fireflies flicker in the midnight.
"Why were you crying?... If you don't mind me asking." Tom asked.
You chuckled, "It's a wedding. People cry at weddings, Tom."
Tom knew you had your guard up, lying to escape your feelings. It wasn't an assumption, he just knew you too well.
"I know, but I don't think that's why you're crying..." He admitted.
You nod your head, "I'm not in the mood to talk about this, okay?"
"What? You're gonna walk away like you did earlier?" Tom retorted back, his tone still soft and calm.
"I had nothing to say to you earlier." You looked down at your fingernails. "I wasn't the first one to walk away from something between us." You mumbled, but you knew Tom would have heard you.
"I didn't walk away from us-"
"You were in love with your work. You were in love with the fast pace of the city. You were in love with working with clients, your partners, meetings, everything but me. Not to mention that brunette you-"
"I didn't sleep with Tay!"
"The long list of lunch dates begs to differ." You rolled your eyes, facing away from him.
Tom furrowed his eyebrows, "She's my business partner... she was my business partner."
You turned your head back, "Was?"
He sighed, "After everything happened, she... got engaged and was off to Poland. I promise you, Y/N. Nothing ever happened with her, but I understand why you were upset... about everything. But, I was hurting too."
"From what? I was busy with school-"
"Exactly. You were busy too. You were studying, out with your friends, always talking to your professors."
"Tom, that's different-"
"How? You were talking about moving all the way to Romania without even asking me how I felt about it. You were just ready to move on when I just asked you to marry me." Tom said, clenching his jaw.
You hated to be reminded of that moment. You remember it so vividly, the same, tingling feeling stabbed you in the heart all over again. You wanted to say yes, but something inside of you said it was too good to be true.
You wiped your tears with your thumb, "Yeah, well.. Maybe, it was meant to be that way. Maybe– we were never meant to be."
"Don't say that." Tom nodded his head.
You smiled, tears streaming down your cheeks, "Then why aren't we together now?"
Tom took a deep breath, his hands wrapping around the bench, "Well, I never stopped loving you..."
"Yeah, well, maybe you should." You said, practically under your breath.
"Maybe because it was a good thing we had-"
"I don't know why you are pushing this. Even when we first started dating, it was a disaster." You picked at your nails, but Tom chuckled.
"Yeah, because I was falling in love with a girl I thought I didn't have a chance with." He grimaced to himself. It was something he never admitted to you, even when you were in your honeymoon phase.
You hummed, "I remember when you got me flowers... but I was allergic to them and we spent our third date in the emergency room."
"Or when we were supposed to spend the holiday weekend at that nice hotel, but the dates were mixed up and we spent the night in that hostel with the foursome couple." Tom jeered, making you laugh a little.
"Oh, God, and they were on the top bunks." You scrunched your nose.
It was nice to laugh, for the both of you. But, Tom placed his hand on top of yours that was flat against the bench. You gazed into each other's eyes and Tom moved his other hand on your left cheek, his thumb lightly rubbing off the mascara under your eye.
"If I could, I'd turn myself inside out all over again." His dreamy look lingering as he held your face.
You didn't say anything in response, but holding his hand that was on your cheek. You liked how warm it felt, his hands so soft and gentle, missing them so much. To hold, to kiss, to guide.
Tears glided down your cheeks again, squeezing your eyes tight as you leaned into his hand. Tom slowly wrapped his hand around you, letting you lay your head against his shoulder and cry into him. You let out a faint whimper, masking the intense hurt you truly felt. He pressed his cheek against the side of your head, a few tears leaving his eyes as well.
"I'm sorry.." You mumbled, your face heating up.
"I'm sorry too." He sniffled.
You almost thought this was a dream, something you wanted to say that you could never. You squeezed Tom's hand to make sure it wasn't; hoping and praying it wasn't because being in his arms was the safest you had felt in weeks.
When you pulled away, Tom wiped his thumb once more across the soft skin of your cheek. Tom grinned, seeing his tears fall off his chin and dropping on his button-up. You couldn't help but smile, a light giggle leaving both your lips to humor how vulnerable you felt.
As Tom took his hand away, you straightened your back and took a deep breath through your nose. You waved your hand toward your face, drying the rest of the tears and hoping your makeup wasn't completely ruined. You glanced at Tom's suit jacket, seeing that your concealer has brushed against the navy blue fabric.
"Shit, sorry." You chuckled, trying to rub it out but it seemed to get worse.
"No worries, it's Harrison's." Tom smiled.
"I bet he doesn't miss dealing with us." You raised your eyebrows.
Tom pouted, "Eh, he always jokes and says he wishes you got custody of him and didn't have to deal with me."
You nodded, "Sounds like Harrison."
You both shared a laugh before you heard a song echo from the tent, the DJ calling for everyone to take a sit and watch the bride and groom share a dance together to their song. You and Tom stayed in silence, both of you brows furrowed, until you heard the song "So This Is Love" by Ilene Woods, the same tune as from the movie Cinderella when she danced with her prince.
"Why am I not surprised." You joked.
"I would have thought of something by Ed Sheeran." Tom jeered back.
Both of you knew Rebeccah and Scott, the two of them hopelessly in love from when you two introduced them to each other. Your friend group wasn't surprised they were the first ones to get married, but oddly, Rebeccah and Scott thought you and Tom would get married first. You sighed at the thought, recalling when Tom tried to propose and how it was the last thing to push your relationship to its end.
Tom turned his head toward you, the warm lights giving you an ethereal highlight to your skin.
"Dance with me?" He half-smiled, lifting his hand to give to you.
You glanced at his open hand, seeing he still wore the wide silver ring with his initials engraved on it on his index finger. You remember how important it was to him because it was his grandfather's, passed down from his dad because he was the third in their family.
You had met his family a few times, on vacations or at special lunches and dinners, but every time they were adamant to exclude you from conversations or even the idea of being in the family. It was another reason why you couldn't see yourself being married to Tom and having to deal with their hostility any holiday or birthday, but he loved his family and it meant everything to him, especially how his company was based on it.
You didn't reply, but took his hand and it felt so delicate in his. You lifted up on your feet, your heels balanced against the fresh mulch. As Tom placed his hands on each of your sides, you wrapped your arms around his neck. He gazed at you, starry-eyed and grinning at how you were naturally beautiful.
His brown eyes were dark, but they were his brown eyes. You could stare into them forever, feeling so warm when he smiled at you. It was a smile that was precious, wondering if your children would have them someday.
"How has your family been?" You asked him, out of curiosity.
He chuckled, "Um, they're fine. My grand-dad passed away a few months ago, so my grandma moved to France. My dad is still trying to get over it."
"Aw, I'm sorry to hear." You furrowed your brows, your hand running through the back of his curls.
"It's fine. That's why I took the position in London. I wanted to... make him proud, I guess." Tom blushed, not the most confident at showing his softer side.
"You are. I remember how much he talked about you at your aunt's birthday. He would be happy. I promise." You grin at him, still swaying back and forth.
"Well, he really liked you too. Said you were the only one he could talk to at the family gatherings because it was never about business or money," Tom trailed, licking his lips before he cleared his throat. "I didn't tell him that we broke up until he only had a few weeks and he wanted to see you. I told him that we weren't together and he said I had to be the stupidest guy to let you go."
You chuckled, "Are you just saying this to butter me up?"
Tom shrugged, "Maybe, because I was really stupid."
You half-smiled, but it slowly faded as you run your fingers through his dark-brown curls.
"You know it's not going to end well.." You sniffled.
Tom bit his bottom lip, glancing down at the ground then looking back up, "How do we know that yet?"
"Because we could be apart for so long, being okay with what happened until... well, until now." You said, your voice a bit broken and trying to hold back your tears once more.
It was painful for both of you to hear, but it's not like you could go back in time and change it. You couldn't do anything about it really and that's the part that hurt so bad.
Tom took a deep breath, "I..I still love you. I always have loved you, Y/N."
You grinned, "I do too, but.. I can't. We can't."
You both stopped swaying, but Tom placed his hand on your cheek, his thumb brushing under your eye and to your temple. You could see a whole future in his eyes, he could too in yours, but you were too scared to admit it to each other.
Tom slowly leaned in, and you closed your eyes before you felt his soft lips press against yours. It was a hungry kiss, so desperate that you leaned into it and your body curved into his. Your hands were on the back of his neck, pulling him in as he placed his hand on the small of your back. He lightly bit your bottom lip before he kissed you again, your lipstick smearing on the outside of his lips.
Once you pulled away from each other, you were looking at the ground until you had the courage to look into his eyes. Tom still had his hands on your hips until you placed your hands on them and pushed them away.
"We can't do this again." You tell him, holding his hand.
"But, I want to and I know you want to as much as I do." His eyebrows pushed together, his tone weak.
You nodded, "We can't, Tom."
With that, you slowly let go of his hands and turned away. Your head hung down as you walked back into the darkness of the night as tears streamed down your cheeks. You already thought your heart was broken, but to feel yourself walk away again made it split in two. You wish you hadn't let your guard down so easily for him, but it was him. You would do it all over again to be able to hold him.
Tom let out a sigh, sitting on the bench as he felt defeated. He sniffled, tears welling up in his eyes, trailing his cheeks when he looked down at his hands. The numbness he felt so long ago was back, as if it was injected by a needle and it spread from his neck to his feet. Tom hissed through his teeth when he took a breath while he continued to sob.
You wanted to love him so badly.
He wanted to love you too.
But, it could never be the same.