As soon as I step off the plane I'm greeted with a hot gust of air.
I don't miss the scorching heat of San Francisco.
Jessie pops one of her new pairs of sunglasses on, as I shield my eyes with one of her magazines.
"There's so much to see!" She gushes after grabbing one of the tour guides off a stand.
I look over her shoulder, "we aren't here to sight see."
"I know." Her spirit is still high, "but we can't stay inside all day!"
She skips out the gate and towards the direction of the baggage collection.
I sigh, pulling out my phone.
I get a few notifications coming in, and text back my family and friends.
I'm scrolling down my messages when I see Joel's name blazing on my screen.
The sight is enough to make my head spin and my heart lurch.
It feels so much more real now that I'm thousands and thousands of miles away.
I didn't even tell him I was going.
I only went to see Marcus yesterday, and it was all very spur of the moment.
Thinking back, I remember my mums reaction.
"Hello?" I call, pushing open the unlocked door.
Maddie comes skipping down the stairs.
"I didn't know you were home?" I squeal, hugging her.
Maddie had gone to Wales for a few days to stay with her new boyfriend.
"I just couldn't stay away."
"Where's Mum?"
"With Dad in the kitchen."
My arms stiffen, we may call him our dad, but he's not.
When we moved here a while back, Mum met a new guy, he was great, loved her and was so kind.
He never tried to be our dad, knowing that he couldn't replace him, but we started calling him Dad anyway.
"Mum?" I walk into the kitchen to see them both standing around the stove.
"I told you you'd burnt it!" She turns an accusatory gaze to him.
My stepdad chuckles, "the burnt parts just add flavour."
She rolls her eyes, laughing.
"Mum. Dad." I repeat myself.
They both turn to look at me, my stepdad still holding the saucepan.
"What's up honey." My mum asks, brushing off her apron.
"I'm going back to America."
"That sounds great honey!" My stepdad beams, hugging me.
"Darling put the saucepan down!" My mum scolds, refusing to look me in the eye.
"Oh blooming hell, I've left the hose on!" He places the pan down quickly and dashes out the backdoor.
Despite not knowing fully what happened, she still can't talk about the accident.
I suddenly realise that my friends know more about what happened than my own family.
"I'm going back to America."
"Why." She looks at me with a blank stare, her eyes hollow with grief.
"I just-" faltering, I take a second to breathe, "I just want to see some old friends, visit some places."
I'm lying through my teeth.
"Are you going back." She pauses, "there."
I nod, trying to hold her gaze so she doesn't suspect anything.
"Who are you going with."
"Jessie said she'd come with me." I gnaw on my lip.
"Be safe, and text me as soon as you get there." She turns around before I can see, but it's not fast enough to shield me from the tear that slips down her cheek.
She was so strong for Maddie and I, with the move to distract her, and the new relationship, she never grieved in front of us.
But the night before the fire, I walked past her room before I left, and I saw her.
She was crying into her pillow, tissues all around her, cradling her wedding ring in her hand.
I wanted to comfort her, but I knew she never wanted us to see her like that.
So I closed the door, and left.
"Lizzie? We're going to miss our bag."
I stare up from my phone, Joel's name still on my screen.
I turn it off hastily and shove it in my pocket.
"Coming."
I follow her, weaving through the passengers and airport staff.
We grab our bags without any issues, get through customs and head to go find our car.
I'd meant to get my licence before everything happened, I was even ready to take my theory.
Then when we moved, it didn't seem important anymore.
Jessie however had hers, and got it transferred so it would be accepted here.
"Wrong side of the road!" I yell, my hand gripping my seatbelt.
"Right." Jessie confirms, pulling into the correct lane.
"Are you sure you aren't too jet lagged?" I query.
"Nope, I've had three coffees and four sprites."
"That does nothing to reassure me."
The drive to our hotel is only twenty minutes, but tomorrow we are leaving to go further into the city.
Back to my old town.
"Okay, the pool stays open until 11, so I definitely think we should do that, like right now."
"We aren't here for fun."
"Come on Lizzie! I've never been to America! There's nothing we can do tonight, let's just have fun."
I almost give in to her, but I shake my head.
I can't get distracted, this is important, and I only have two weeks to figure this out.
Jessie gives a resigned sigh, "do you want me to stay?"
I plaster a fake smile on my face, "no, you go and have fun."
She seems reluctant, but I give her a bigger smile, before pushing her out the room.
When I'm sure she isn't coming back, I sit on the bed.
I don't plan on doing any work tonight.
Acting fast, so I don't give myself anytime to think about it, I unlock my phone and punch in the number that I've known by heart.
It rings three times before it picks up.
I open my mouth to speak, but I get a load of static first.
"Hello who is this?"
The familiar voice cuts through the static, and through my heart.
He deleted my number.
"Hello?" The voice goes again.
A tear falls into my lap as I stare silently at the wall, my throat feeling too dry to talk.
I muster up all the strength I have in me, I need to do this.
I need to ask him, I need to get closure so I can focus on this.
"Hi Joel."
***
Two updates in the space of a few days?
When does this ever happen!
I'm kidding, but I'm super motivated right now! So I hope you enjoy the update! I feel like the last chapter seemed like filler, but it wasn't. I promise.
I just wanted a scene where Lizzie is thinking a bit more clearly, to set up for this scene.
You may think her calling Joel is counterproductive, but she wants to focus on what she needs to do in America.
All will be shown, soon
- Feather In The Wind 💫