Erastus looked at me and I looked at him. I had no home to go to. The house I live in has so many memories that are just going to mess with my head. I didn't want to go back. I never want to step foot in that house ever again. "Where's Laura?" I asked him.
He was scrolling through his phone when he told me Evan took her home. It was late at night so she had to go to bed. My thoughts wandered back to where I am going to stay. Erastus lives with Rose and I can't with there while I am still not over what happened. I didn't want to bring my sadness to their place. Katie is still on her Vacation with Jason and I have no family here. There is an option, which is sleeping in a hotel.
"Why don't you go to stay at the beach house? You have a key correct?" Erastus asked. Right, I almost forgot that I am good friends or best friends to be exact of someone that owns more than one house. I was happy that I finally got a place to call my sanctuary, for the time being of course. Then I thought of Laura, with Evan not staying at home much, she has nobody to take care of her. Even if I ask her to come with me, with what I am going through right now I know I won't be of any help. I just really need space right now.
My heart is aching and it does not seem to stop. A tear escaped my eye and I quickly wiped it away hoping that Erastus didn't see it, but he did. He walked over and sat on the bed. He pulled me into a tight hug. Something in me snapped and I cried again. This time I had a shoulder to cry on so I decided to let it all out. Too bad I know I can't get over this in a day. I cried and Erastus was there comforting me with his hand on my back without saying a word. It's a good thing that he didn't say a word because nothing is going to make me feel any better.
I finally stopped crying and I realized I soaked Erastus' shirt with my tears. "Get ready so I drop you off at the house," he said and left. I slowly removed my white hospital gown and put on my clothes. I walked out of the room and saw Erastus standing outside. "I am ready," I said and started walking. I couldn't help but feel like I was leaving a part of me in this hospital. I walked faster because the earlier I leave this place the better I will feel. Or at least I thought so.
We got into the car and the first ten minutes of the drive was done in complete silence. "I am sorry, I know I ruined dinner with Rose's parents but I am sure Laura didn't know who else to call," I said. He panicked when I said that and I had no idea why. "Oh shit, I have to call Rose. I seriously stormed out of the house and didn't tell her what was going on. Can you take my phone and dial for me, I am driving." he asked.
I took his phone and found 23 missed calls and many messages. I told him about it and he looked like he felt bad. I dialed quickly and she picked up quickly. I held the phone this ear because none of us had earphones. "Hey......Yes I am alright,......There was an emergency concerning Liz... Yes, it was that important and I am sorry I walked out on your parents..... Will talk to you when I get home..... Bye... Love you too." he said on the phone. I took the phone.
"Please tell me she won't make you sleep on the couch today," I said jokingly. He looked at me, shook his head, and said he hoped it won't happen. The silence took over again and I was lost in my thoughts again. I felt bad that I was the reason my best friend had to walk out of his inlaws place. Even if it was my parents, they would be pissed. My problems created a problem with my best friend and I didn't like the thought of it one bit.
"I asked Laura to pack a bag for you and I will go pick it up after I drop you off," he said getting me out of my world. "Thank you, but you know she is 12 right? Goodness, I can just imagine what will be in that bag." I said. He shrugged as we entered the house. I could hear the waves and that's why I love this place so much. The feeling of knowing I am just feet away from the oceans is always so refreshing to me. I sat down on the sofa and checked my phone. I heard my tummy grumble and headed for the kitchen. Okay, there is a part I hate about this house, it never has food. I opened the fridge and all that was inside was a carton of milk.
I looked in the cupboards but all I found was cereal and sugar. "Great, cereal for dinner for sure," I said to myself. Erastus came and told me he was going to my house to get some of my things. He left after that I took a bowl so I eat cereal, but I realized I didn't feel like eating. I didn't have my phone with me and nothing on TV was interesting so I was so bored.
I left the house and decided to go to the beach. I was aware of how late it was, but I just wanted to sit there and think, which seemed to be the only thing I can do at the moment. The feeling of the sand on my feet was cold yet good. I love the ocean, which is a bit ironic for someone who couldn't swim until she was in college. I was afraid of drowning as a kid and that fear kept me far from the swimming pool we have at home.
Then I met Erastus, who would drag me to go with him to pool parties after he stopped taking into consideration the stupid excuses I would make up so I don't have to go. He did not know about my inability to swim until he figured out one day when I fell in the pool at a party and someone saved me. He sympathized with me for two minutes and laughed at me the whole evening. I was very angry at him that day. I smiled at the memories of the old days. After that, he offered to teach me how to swim but, of course, I refused. He laughed at me so why should I agree.
After that, he would push me into a pool, lake, or whatever he sees and saves me at the very last minute. Not the best way to help a friend get over their fear if you ask me. I agreed for him to teach me and ever since I was not afraid anymore. I even love the ocean, something I never thought I'd love. I didn't even realize I was laughing out loud remembering all of that. I sat down and just looked at the waves as they come and go. I looked at them as if they were the only thing around. I couldn't help but think about where I go next or what to do next.
For the first time in my life, I found myself at a dead-end, no destination, no goal I want to achieve, my marriage is beyond repair and I lost my baby. I could feel tears forming in my eyes just thinking about my baby. I have never felt so alone. I cried out loud. I sat there and cried, crying for my baby, my failed marriage, and my baby again. I don't think I can move past this. The baby, my baby was the only good thing that came out of my marriage and now he is gone. So I have nothing to look forward and that pained me.
I heard footsteps behind me and I quickly wiped away my tears. I don't know why I even do it when someone can see that I have been crying and I have reasons to be. "I knew I would find you here," Erastus said as he sat next to me. He had a box of pizza and a box of beer. I reached for the beer, maybe it can make me feel better or at least forget how shitty my life is at the moment. He slapped my hands away from the beer. "The beer is mine, the pizza is yours. I know you are hungry and you didn't eat the cereal," he said opening a beer.
I groaned and took the pizza. I took back the groan the moment I opened it and realized it was pepperoni pizza. No words can express how much I love this pizza. I ate it hungrily, just when I thought I was not in the mood for eating. That's what Erastus does, he plays dirty. He hates this pizza and he bought it because whatever mood I am in, I always have time for Pepperoni pizza. "Liz, nothing I say will make you feel any better right now, so I am just going to let you feel whatever you are feeling at the moment. Just know that I am here for you. I will always be here for you." he said and I leaned on his shoulder and I mumbled a soft 'thank you'.
We stayed like that for a while with me eating my pizza of course that when I sat straight, I realized that half the pizza was already gone. I heard Erastus chuckle beside me so I pushed him away from me. I took one of his beers and he didn't stop me this time. "By the way, I found Evan and Laura in a starring contest, not too sure why but I think Laura is ignoring her father. She sent her well wishes and asked when she can visit. Oh right, and Evan was asking where you were staying right now because he wants to talk to you." he said.
The last statement made my blood boil. I drank my beer and asked, "You didn't tell him right?"
He didn't answer right away and I just keep drinking my beer waiting for his answer. "Are you asking? Of course not. I would never do that to you. I don't like that guy and I never did." he said. My question was stupid. I breathed out in relief.
"I am still waiting for you to say it," I said.
"What?" he asked.
"I told you so," I said making air quotes. You always told me Evan was not a good person and that I deserved better. Looks like you were right all along, it's just I who didn't listen."I said.
"Now it's not the time to blame yourself Liz and I will not tell you that I told you so, at least not now. You loved him Liz, and I am pretty sure you still do. You just followed your heart and not what your annoying yet amazing best friend was telling you." he said smiling.
I raised my eyebrow at him but all I got was a mischievous grin. Erastus has a way of making you smile even when you are mad. Whatever you are going through, he will be there for you and but if something funny happens, he will laugh. "Will you be alright or should I stay the night?" he asked while standing up and pulling me up as well. "No, I will be fine. You have Rose to get to and we don't want her to get angry. Thank you for staying through."
I said as we walk towards the house. "I know you'd do the same thing for me," he said. We got home and he headed out to the door and returned for the three beers on the counter. "I don't trust you with these," he said. I laughed. "Really? I wonder what will happen if you get pulled over by the police and they find beer in your car? They can tell you have been drinking." I said playing dirty. He put them back on the counter and said 'fine' between his gritted teeth.
"Oh, I almost forgot, I brought your phone and Katie is flying back as we speak, so she will be here tomorrow. Don't think too much and have yourself a good night," he said and exits the house. I didn't even get to say good night to him. I took another bottle of beer, and my phone from the coffee table in the living room and sat near the fireplace. I looked through it and found a few missed calls and messages from Katie and some from Rose asking if I had any idea where Erastus could be. Katie left a voicemail and I played it.
"Hi, sweetheart. I heard what happened and I am sorry I am not there with you right now. I have booked the earliest flight leaving for California and I am on my way to the airport. I will be there early tomorrow. Hang in there, honey. I love you and get back to me."
I felt like crying again. The friends I have are heaven-sent and I love them so much. For someone to prioritize you over a good vacation with her fiance is very rare. I sent her a message to let her know that I am okay. I played music from my phone and I sat on my couch, beer in hand, and absolutely no idea of what is happening, how I got here, or how I am going to go from here. I just wanted to drink and forget about everything, so I find my problems tomorrow.
Half an hour later I was still in the same position, just with a cup of coffee in my hands. I didn't want to get drunk because it doesn't solve anything. I would rather go through my problems even though it hurts. The door opened and I looked there alarmed. I thought I was the only one with the key apart from Erastus.
Rose walked in with pajamas and hugged me tightly. "How are you doing? I am sorry, Erastus just told me and I asked him to drop me here. Why would he leave you alone after what happened?" she asked glaring at Erastus who I didn't notice entering. "I am alright Rose. I was the one that told him to go home. He owed you an explanation for walking out on your parents. I am sorry about that." I told her.
"Are you kidding me? Dinner can be rescheduled. You were more important than dinner. You are his best friend, so that makes you my best friend too. We are spending the night with you btw, so you might want to put on some pajamas so we watch a movie." she said in a commanding tone. I got up and went to one of the rooms but I couldn't find my bag in any of the guest rooms. I went into the master room and there was my luggage. I searched for my pajamas and a silk robe.
When I went to the living room, I found her going through a collection of horror movies. Erastus brought snacks and drinks. This was going to be a long night!